Resolutions

I still don't get why people get so hyped up on New Year's Eve. So the year’s over and a new one begins. So you make resolution that you never ever keep. For me, it's just another day in the year. Nothing special, but if you heard the noise coming from my apartment you would probably call me a hypocrite but I have a reasonable explanation. Those dozen people are connected to my roommate. In other words, there was a party in my living room and I wasn't invited
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But I wasn't mad. In fact I was glad. No chance for me becoming the victim of booze. I was safe in my room under some comforters. The TV in the corner of the room was on but muted, my laptop was settled on my lap, belting out Dan Fogelberg's "Same Old Lang Syne." The clock on the computer showed 11:50 p.m. 10 minutes before New Year's. As I surfed the web and chatted with friends online there was a knock at my bedroom door. Ignoring it, I went back to my laptop only to hear another knock this one louder than the first. Another one followed and another one until it became a beat with a 2-1-2 pattern. I growled setting my laptop aside on the bed marched up to the door and opened it. At the doorway stood a woman, a brunette, in a red dress holding a bottle of champagne and two glasses.

"Might I join you," she asked with a smile but I was not amused. I slammed the door in her face and walked back to my bed only to hear a rock concert being drummed on my door. I grumbled again and opened the door again to find the same lady standing in the same position but instead of the same smile I saw earlier a scowl was implanted on her face. Before I could get a word out she jabbed my chest with the bottle forcing me back into my room. She then stepped inside and closed the door.

“No wonder why no one noticed that you weren’t in the room. Your attitude stinks.” She walked over to the bed and sat on the edge.

“Says the lady who jabs me with a Martini & Rossi bottle.” Her attention was on the television. “Hey lady, I want you out.” She just turns her head in disbelief.

“Man, what turned you into such a bitch.”

“It’s been a shitty year.”

“Well then,” she pops the cork and fills the two glasses before handing me both of them to me. “I hope next year is better than this shitty one for both of us.” I sighed, knowing she wasn’t going to leave me anytime soon so I took a glass and downed the contents.

“Couldn’t wait could you,” asked handing me the other glass of champagne just as the television began to count down the last two minutes o the old year. I sat on the bed next to my “guest” and stared at the TV along with her.

“Any resolutions?” She asked me before taking a swing of the bottle.

“Why make any if I’m just going to break them or not fulfill them.”

“Cause that’s the fun part.” I rolled my eyes at the enthusiasm in her voice and finished the second glass of champagne before handing her the glass for a refill. She held the long green bottle upside down and frowned.

“Oh, poop. We ran out the bubbly.” She started to get up but due to the fact the same bubbly went inside her head and snatched up her equilibrium she fell back onto the bed.

“No worries.” I rolled off the bed, flattened myself to the floor and crawled under my bed to make it to my secret stash and pulling out a bottle of tequila. “I know it’s not champagne but it’ll have to do.” I poured some in the glass and she took it.

“Well how about we make resolutions we can keep.”

“Fine then, I promise to brush my teeth every morning.”

“Weak.” She grabbed the tequila bottle and filled up her glass before downing half of it. She was so tipsy she almost fell off of the bed.

“You try then.”

“I promise to pay my taxes on time for once and not ask for an extension.” I laughed drinking the alcohol.

“Then I promise not to have a one nighter with a complete stranger.”

“That’s hardcore.” She laughed along with me sloshing the alcohol onto the bed and the floor. “ Oh, look!”

The TV showed a snowy Times Square and the ball slowly fell. We stared in silence as the crowd in the living room started counting down.

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!”

I would’ve said the same thing too if she wasn’t on top of me and I wasn’t trying to rip her dress off with my teeth. Didn’t remember much after that. When I came to the sun was shining but there was something off. For one thing a pair of panties was dangling off my television, I was naked under my sheets and the room crasher from last night was equally nude and was holding my leg like it was a teddy bear.

“Damn, there goes one of my resolutions.”

“Not necessary,” said a voice from under the comforter. Seconds later frazzled brown head popped from under the sheets. She yawned and laid her head next to the pillow.

“Well the evidence shows that I did have a one nighter with a complete stranger and my resolution was to not do that.”

“Let me finish. I don’t have to be ‘a complete stranger’.”

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

She shrugged, lazily opened one eye. “It wouldn’t really matter to me. All I know is I’m not the one whose breaking their promise on the first day?”

Now normally I would have freaked out, kicked the lady out of apartment and called police but I just wasn’t up to it. Maybe it was the alcohol. Instead, “So when should I pick you up?” came out of my mouth.

“I’ll tell you when I wake up without this hangover.” And she went back to sleep snoring softly leaving me to stare at the ceiling and comprehend what happened in the last twelve hours. All I came up with was sweat moans and that damn tequila.

At least I’ll be able to keep that resolution.