Still Life

The tiny blue vial was uncorked with almost forgotten familiar ease, but even as he went through the motions, Solidus wondered if he could remember how to die- if only for a short while.

Almost casually, he tipped the vial with Hemlock back to empty half of it. While taking all of the liquid would produce far better affects than half, there was also the chance Phoenyxis might notice the missing potion.

One, two, three-

The timing, once begun, had to be absolutely precise, he knew. An entire vial would take nothing short of a few moments to kill irrevocably- so half a vial would work in…give or take thirty seconds?

Four, five, six-

Less potent, and it would be a hell of a lot more painful if he managed to fuck up as he did the first time he tried- but faster acting. These things were strange that way, and he had to single mindedly wonder if he would get it right, this time.

Seven, eight, nine-

So, Solidus began to calculate quickly. The antidote would take ten seconds, no matter the dosage amount so…he had up to the twenty second count for no affects to take place….

Ten, eleven, twelve-

Taking into account the small bits of poison that clung to his mouth and under his tongue….the reaction would be delayed about three seconds.

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen-

And while the maximum time span that stilling was recommended for was three seconds, he’d push for four, just this time.

Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen-

So that was…thirty-three and the ten seconds for antidote made it twenty three…and that meant the four second span would elapse to…

Nineteen, twenty, twenty one-

To the twenty seventh second in which he would have to swallow the antidote to at least half a bottle to match the hemlock dose. Too much would speed up the reactions, and too little would make it slightly painful as the hemlock over-rid it’s counter.
Twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty four-

Opening the smaller vial carefully, the Decher brought it to his mouth, mind still counting of its own accord. This had to be perfect, after all.

Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty seven-

There. As the vile substance rode over his tongue as quickly as he could swallow it, Solidus stared at the mirror in wait of the, ever wanted, stilling of his heart for those few precious seconds, already feeling the irregular pulses of the muscle.

Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty-

Almost there! After so long of going without the rush of death, the Decher found himself unable to breathe in wait of the intoxicating power that came with taking one’s own life.

Thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three.

Ah…the beauty of the poison was that it left the brain still working, able to enjoy the high of lifelessness as the unsteady beatings stopped completely, freezing the entire body as it prepared itself for a shut-down that wouldn’t come. Not like this, and not today.

Thirty-four…

Time elapsed, and he would have smirked as he remembered he couldn’t breath, not even if he wanted to.

Thirty-five…

There was no resistance as the poison lulled the once-Brother’s eyes to a close, not wanting to view himself in the mirror anyway.

Thirty-six…

And now came the predictable fear, and the last second drew nearer. That the antidote wouldn’t work, that after the thirty-seventh second, he would cease to live, permanently. The adrenaline was lacking, seeing as he was, technically dead, though it only served to make it into an all the more drunken experience.

Thirty-seven.

The last second, mayhap of his life, if things went botched. Fear and anxiety coursed through his mental world with little restraints.

Thirty-eight…
But, as the last moment ended, and another begun, he was able to draw a painful breath. A sure signal that things went as planned, and he was not to be dying tonight. Not from hemlock poisoning, anyway.

Although…. he wasn’t sure if it was relief or sadness that chased away the last remnants of the stilling from his mind- and he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.