Bound Freedom

Passion and pain, rapture and restraint, deliverance and domination, will and the whip. I hunger for something I cannot have, I hunger for it with a ravenous desire that consumes me and the thing I crave, but gives me no requital of wanting, of needing, of longing, of hungering. I am an insatiable beast. The hunger has grown so that even if I were to get what it is I hunger and thirst and yearn and long for, it would no longer be enough. My passion must be enough to consume me, I must be devoured by that which I hunger for, I must become lost in that frenzied whirlwind or I shall never find peace. But it is beyond my reach. The thing I crave and the passion which could release me by devouring my very soul and self are far beyond my reach, but that will not stop me from trying, that will not stop the hunger or the longing deep inside my soul. I beg you, someone, anyone, find me and release the beast upon me, let me become the bitch of love.





Hold me down, bind me so that I can't move, I don't want to be able to escape. Make me lose everything, every shred of control, every sense of dignity and shame, every mask and pretense and lie I'm hiding under. Tie me down, tear them away and leave me vulnerable and free. Give me no choice but bound freedom, no will except your commands of obedience, that I submit, that I release every lie filled, fake smiling mask that I've desperately been clinging to so that the world believes I am alright. I'm not alright, I'm so fucked up I don't recognize myself, I don't know who I am anymore, I'm lying to my lies. But you know, you remember, you know how to bring me back and force me to face the disgusting, lying, hideous, messed up person I keep hiding behind, you know who I am, you know the smile is fake. Tie me down, let me see me. I don't want to lie. Set me free, let me cry.





I will cry for my losses, for my sorrows, for the person I once was who is now gone forever. I will cry for my mistakes, I will cry for my hurts, I will cry for every evil that has been done to me. I will cry for all those I have deceived or destroyed, I will cry for my family, and for those I have turned my back on. I will cry for the the cruel, selfish, possessive and deceitful person I have become and tried to lock away deep inside. I will cry for shame, releasing all those demons from my inner heart that I had almost hidden from myself, and then...then I shall cry for joy.