Jayme's Life

The stress had gotten to be too much for Jayme. She needed a break; she wanted relief from the pain. She opened her old toy box and took out the bottom panel and withdrew the bundle of cloth. She carefully unwrapped the old hunting knife. The knife belonged to her grandfather. He had given it to her when she was 16. She admired the wooden handle with its intricately carved fleur-de-lis pattern. She had always loved it because of that pattern and how pretty it always looked. She was amazed when he had given her the knife. She remembered that joy that she felt as she opened it that day. The joy was short lived though as the reason she was holding this prized possession again came crashing down on her. She inhaled sharply knowing that her pain and stress would be gone soon. She placed the blade to her arm and applied a little pressure. She then slid the blade carefully across her arm, just deep enough to bleed but not so deep that she would need stitches. In that moment her pain was gone, she watched as the blood gathered at the cut and then felt the warm crimson liquid drip down her arm towards her hand. All pain and thoughts were gone as she basked in her relaxation.
She stayed like that for a few minutes and then the baby started to cry. Jayme was awoken from her dream like trance and realized that she had been staring at her arm for about 5 minutes now and that the blood at the wound was clotting and had the blood on her arm had dried and was beginning to itch. She washed the dried blood off and cleaned and bandaged the wound. As she bandaged it she couldn’t help but think of the irony in this situation. The one thing that relieved her stress and pain was something that caused her to bleed. For now however she was calm and able to go back to her daily life. She walked into her daughter’s room and picked up the 6 month old baby.
“Shush Gabby its ok mommy’s here everything will be ok now.” She rocked Gabby back and forth as she packed the diaper bag. She picked out an outfit for her daughter to wear for the evening with her father. She put her in a cute one-piece that said daddy’s girl, a pair of jeans and really cute baby high-tops, Jayme hated the one-piece but kept it just for these occasions because it made her ex feel like part of Gabby’s life. In reality Mike had nothing to do with Gabby with the exception of spending the weekend with her every other month and maybe taking her to see his parents for dinner every now and then. This was one of those rare nights. Mike had called earlier that morning to tell Jayme that he would be by to pick up Gabby at 6ish and to have her dressed and ready to go.


Jayme and Mike dated for a about 6 months but when Jayme went to college a few hours away Mike couldn’t handle being alone so he started spending lots of time with one of Jayme’s friends but not before mike told Jayme he wanted to get married and have kids with her. Mike had taken Jayme ring shopping and that was the day that Gabby was conceived. It turned out that a few days later Mike had second thoughts about marrying Jayme and in fact ended the entire relationship. Jayme being devastated by the ending of the “best” relationship she had ever had was driven into a drunken depression. She started failing classes and drinking just about every night, that’s when the cutting began again. She had been a cutter for years before that but had managed to stop for a long time after much help from friends and ultimately falling in love with Mike.
It took Jayme all of about 2 weeks doing that to realize that something wasn’t right and that she was throwing up every morning for more reasons then just the fact that she drank to much alcohol. Jayme took a pregnancy test and it came back positive, she hid the results for a while not wanting to admit to herself that she was actually going to be having a baby with the man that she loved but didn’t love her. She put off telling anyone for 2 months, while she sobered up again and tried to get her life back in check, and finally told Mike that she was pregnant and he demanded that she come home and take the test in front of him so he could make sure she was telling the truth. She knew that Mike still cared for her but didn’t love her anymore and it killed her to think that he was so distrusting of her but she came home and took the test. Mike immediately went into dad mode having already had one son that was given up for adoption. He was determined to be there for Jayme and this baby but he wanted Jayme to quit school. She wasn’t ready to do that she wanted to complete her degree and get a job somewhere on the east coast. Mike wouldn’t hear it and when Jayme told him that this was her baby and her body that she was doing what she wanted Mike stopped helping. Jayme’s parents and friends were great about it. Not happy but were there for her when she needed them. Jayme stayed at school through out her pregnancy and everyone there took care of her and made sure she was ok. When the time came for Gabby to be born Jayme was adamant that even though Mike was a jackass he deserved to be there when his daughter was born. Mike never showed up to the hospital and Jayme had her hopes dashed. Jayme’s friend Tabby, Mike’s new girlfriend, did stop by just to see how everyone was doing and bring word that Mike was out of town but she didn’t stay for long. After Gabby was born Jayme went back to school for a while but found that she just couldn’t stand to be away from Gabby for to long. So she got her own apartment, a part time job and decided to take classes online from home.


At exactly 6 the doorbell rang and Jayme went to answer it. It was Tabby but Jayme could see that Mike’s car was in the driveway.
“Hi, I guess he still doesn’t want to see me” Jayme invited Tabby in while she finished getting Gabby ready to go.
“It’s not that he just, It was easier for me to get out of the car and bring Gabby out”
Jayme could tell that it was a lie but she couldn’t really call her on it and even if she could Jayme was sick of all the fighting. She finished getting Gabby ready and handed her to Tabby.
“Take care of my baby, she will get hungry soon, I made a bottle it’s in the bag but there is more formula if she gets hungry, diapers and a change of outfit are in there too just in case. I’m going to be here studying if you need me for anything just call.”
“Jay I know all this, we’ve taken her before don’t worry everything will be fine”
Tabby notices that Jayme’s arm is all bandaged up as she takes Gabby.
“Jay what happened to your arm? It looks like you’ve been bleeding are you ok?”
“Yeah I’m just fine, don’t worry about it.”
“Jay come on you can tell me if something’s wrong you’re one of my best friends.” Just as Tabby finishes her sentence Mike get impatient and honks the horn.
“Tab just go, he’s waiting and he hates to be kept waiting. I’ll be up late but please make sure you guys have Gabby home buy 10. If she’s up any later she get crabby and I can’t get her to go to sleep.”
“He can wait Jay, I know something IS wrong and I want you to tell me.” Mike honks the horn again getting even more impatient.
“Tab just go, I really am fine, it’s nothing I can’t deal with.”
“Fine Jay I’ll go but we’ll talk about this later.” As she turns to leave she pulls on the bandage on Jayme’s arm and sees the cut and immediately knows what’s going on. Jayme tries to cover it up again but it’s to late Tabby has already seen and Jayme knows that she’ll be getting a call from Mike and probably her mom later tonight asking about it.