The Diary of Jane

Little idea I had pop into my head. Not certain if it's something that I will continue or not. Have the next part partially written, will have to see how response is to see if I post it.
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August 16

I should have seen it, I should have known. He was just... too good, too perfect. Maybe I did, and didn’t want to, or was just blinded by finding what I was looking for. I don’t know anymore. I’m just too mixed up at the moment.

It all started about four months ago. I was out at the club with a couple of friends, having a good time. That’s when I first saw him. Sitting there in a darkened corner, alone, sipping some mixed drink. Obviously out of place, given his look. Black leather pants that fit almost too well, a ripped black tee shirt that left the toned stomach visible, covered by black fishnet something or other that resembled a shirt. All that black over his pale white skin, crowned by an almost effeminate face that seemed to have never seen a razor (laser or waxing, I wasn’t certain), lips painted a dark brown, blended and outlined in black, and ice blue eyes also outlined in black, all topped off by short, spiked black hair. From what I could tell, while slender, he was well toned and muscular, even if it wasn’t overly so. All in all, a Goth god, quite attractive, which made me wonder why he was alone. But like I said, he was out of place given the usual crowd. That just wasn’t something that was seen there.

And as such, a few passing guys started giving him trouble, making snide comments that obviously questioned his sexuality. Fucking homophobes. Understandable, perhaps. I might have thought the same had I not had a few Goth friends back in school. Of course, I wouldn’t have said anything, not being one to judge anyone for being different. I stood back slightly, watching with a smirk as he turned their jibes back around on them, not being bothered by it. They however, were, and left quickly, rather embarrassed by their looks.

Picking up my drink, I walked over, standing across from him. “Hey there,” I said. “You’re a new face around here. Mind if I join you?”

Those ice blue eyes glanced up, looking me over before stopping on mine with their piercing gaze. I’ve been looked over many times before, but never have I felt as I did then under that look. I shivered slightly, feeling myself getting aroused knowing that he was undressing me as he glanced up, and as he held my gaze, I felt like a lamb looking into the eyes of a stalking panther. “Certainly, and welcome to it,” he replied, standing. “Gladly welcome the companionship, Miss…”

“Jane,” I replied, sitting in the offered chair. “I don’t think this is exactly the proper setting for formalities, is it?” I felt a wave of unusual warmth coursing through me at the returned smile.

“Indeed, it does not appear as such. Though, appearances can be a bit… deceiving, to be certain.” He sat as well, picking up his drink. “Just because it’s not ‘proper’ does not mean one need not be polite. Well, Miss Jane, and yes, I shall still call you that,” he said, holding up a hand to silence my protest. “I’m known as Crystalline Visions of Meditation, but you can call me Chrys. All my friends do. And, dare I say, here’s to the start of a good friendship.” The glass was held up again.

I had noticed the slight glance to the source of the earlier trouble at the mention of being ‘proper’ and smiled. “Well said, Chrys. Glad to see not all guys are douche bags.” Clinking my glass against his, I leaned forward slightly. “‘Crystalline Visions of Meditation’? Interesting name. How’d you come by it?”

“It’s my birth name, actually,” Chrys replied. “Well, sort of. I’m one-quarter Indian, and my grandfather named me Clear Sighted in Thought, but… that wasn’t really the Goth-iest of names. So… a slight modification was in order.” (Quarter Indian? So there never was a need to shave, wax, or laser removal. Some guys have all the luck. I wished that I was part so that I didn’t have to shave/wax my legs.)

That was how it all started. We spent the remainder of the evening, well, most of the morning, as we went for coffee at an all-nighter restaurant afterwards and talked. A lot, about everything. And oddly, he listened, not just doing the head bob with the occasional ‘uh-huh’ and ‘yeah’ thrown in that I so often get at dates. And it didn’t stop there, either. When we at last parted ways, he asked for my number, with the solemn promise to call. I gave it to him, and sure enough, three days later he called. While I was at work.

From there it went to meeting for lunches, and then dinners, followed by late night museum shows and premiers. He was quite well versed in art, and I suspected that he was perhaps an aspiring artist. Something more than just the look, there was a passion showing in the eyes whenever art was discussed. Christ, he was a work of art when I thought about it. And think about it I did, a lot. In the unlikeliest of places and times. And especially in the chilly quiet of night. I was falling in love with him, and it wasn’t really hard to see why. He was everything that a girl could want in a guy. Polite, charming, intelligent, cultured, and definitely easy to get along with and hold conversations. Who cared if he took longer to put on his make up than I did? I wasn’t bothered by it, why should it matter to anyone else?

Even more surprising, not once in all the dates that we had gone on had he pressured me into having sex. He hadn’t even brought it up, though I had seen the look of desire more than once in those brilliant eyes. He wasn’t the only one, to be honest. I had more than my fair share of similar looks, having more than once undressed him and imagining a wild night of passion while we were eating. It was time. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I wanted to make love to him. I was going to make love to him. And last night, I set out to do exactly that.

I called him up, inviting him to dinner with me to celebrate some bogus thing at work. I didn’t want to just come out and tell him my plan, and needed an excuse. To my delight, he accepted, and we made plans to meet at one of my favorite restaurants. During the meal, it took everything I had to keep from blurting out ‘Take me’, and I waited for the opportune moment, catching with one of those looks that he gave me like a hunter eyeing down his prey. “Food not to your liking?” I asked quietly. “You look like you have an appetite for something else.” I took a drink of my wine, forcing myself to concentrate on that, knowing it was fully known what I was intimating.

Sure enough, he understood, the look I got in response being mixed. Half unbelieving that I had, and half uncertain if I had said that. “I… wa… I was…”

“Why don’t we forget this,” I said, setting down my wine, “and head back to my place? I won’t lie, Chrys. I want you. I need you. Tonight.”

We were quick to finish and pay the bill, leaving quietly and heading back to my place. Neither one of us spoke on the drive, nor during the hurried walk to the door. In fact, not a word was said at all, and we stepped inside, Chrys closing the door and I fell into his arms, wrapping myself within him as much as I could. My eyes closed, arms around his torso, I lifted my lips to his, hands caressing along his back, a little shocked to feel the multiple piercings there. All along the spine, about an inch apart. I barely had time to wonder about what else might be pierced, and then there was the soft warmth of air and the stronger pressure of his lips against mine.

Like melted butter in a hot pan, I melted into the kiss, into him, feeling his arms holding me close, caressing along my shoulders. Kicking off my shoes, we started towards the bedroom, my clothes coming off along the way until we stood in front of the bedroom door. My clothes were strewn along the hallway, leaving me just wearing panties and a bra. I led Chrys to the bed, sitting on the edge of it, an assortment of toys on the side of the bed. Nothing extreme or anything like that. Just a couple pairs of handcuffs, feathers, silk blindfold, and several condoms. Basics, and a little light bondage foreplay stuff for some spice. Or not, depending. Like I said, I had planned it, but didn’t want to scare him away. Not that I was really into anything extreme or anything.

I caught the slight arch of the eyebrow as he noticed the selection before he was pushing me back, half straddling me as I lay back on the bed. “Like to be a little naughty, I see,” he said, kissing down my neck, the hollow at the base of my throat, and to between my breasts, releasing the clasp. “Naughty is nice.”

I moaned softly as I felt him blow gently on my exposed nipple, brushing it lightly with his lips before capturing between them and caressing it with the tip of his tongue while helping me remove the bra completely. Straddling me completely, he turned his attention to my other breast, hands caressing along my outstretched arms, until I heard the distinct ‘click’ and felt the cold metal clasped around my wrist. My eyes flew open, looking up to see that my wrists had been secured to the bars of the headboard. Damn, he was good. I hadn’t even been aware that he had them, and he had managed to secure me without me knowing it. “You’ve had practice at this.”

“A little, perhaps.”

Again those eyes took me in their intense gaze. I could see the intense longing and desire burning within the icy blue depths. Deer frozen in headlights? That wasn’t even close to the feelings I felt going through me at the moment. The heat of desire coursing through me, the longing and need building. I could feel myself becoming even more aroused that before, and had he kept that gaze much longer, I’m fairly certain I would have orgasmed right then. I was spared that, however, as he leaned forward, lightly nibbling on my earlobe as he whispered soft comforts to me, assuring me that I had nothing to worry about. I wasn’t so certain of that as the blind fold was placed over my eyes. No, I wasn’t worried that he would do anything to me that would hurt me. No, instead I was worried about what I would do, as every touch of his lips, every caress of his fingertips sent a slight jolt through me, stroking the building fire within me. Christ, I had never been so affected by one person.

The weight of him lifted from the bed, and I could hear him walking around the bed softly. Then it hit, the gentlest touch of the feather along my stomach. Soft brushes outlining my breasts, caressing along my inner thighs, along my cheeks. He was leaving me guessing as to where each next brush would be, and I was anticipating them. Aroused even more by them. I felt I might have even orgasmed by that alone.

But my first orgasm wasn’t brought about from the feather, but instead by the contrast of fingers strongly gripping my thighs and the soft breath of warm air blowing across my clit followed by firm lips kissing along me, tongue tracing along my folds. I tensed, gasping out harshly, fingernails digging into my palms as my orgasm coursed through me, body trembling. How anyone could think that he was gay was a bit of a mystery, given that I had never come so quickly before with anyone.

He didn’t stop there, either, continuing his oral stimulation, keeping in a state of sexual bliss. He wasn’t just eating me out, he was practically devouring me, lips kissing and sucking as his tongue delved deeply within me, knowingly seeking out my deepest folds. While quite talented with his mouth, it wasn’t all lips and tongue, as he easily switched to using his fingers, and even ran the tip of his nose along me, inhaling deeply before brushing along my now highly sensitive clit. By the time my second orgasm hit, he had two fingers buried in me stroking along my walls, mouth clamped over me, tongue caressing my clit and moaning softly into my clenching depths.

I was certain that I screamed out, feeling his moans reverberate within me, but I couldn’t be certain that they were real or just in my mind. As I came down from my latest sexual peak, he gradually removed himself from between my thighs, lightly kissing along my legs until I was left panting heavily on the bed without any contact from him. That’s when I heard it, the sound of his zipper being undone, pants sliding down, and the unmistakable sound of one of the condoms being opened.

My body reacted instantly, a fresh heat building within as I felt myself become wet with desire. My pussy ached to fill him within me, to feel him take me and claim me as his. I wanted it, I needed it. And… I didn’t feel it. Nothing but silence around me. Then I felt the soft breath on my ear. The bastard. He knew how he was affecting me, and was deliberately keeping me in anticipation. “Someone isn’t being very nice,” I whispered softly. “That’s not fair.”

“No one ever said that it would be fair,” he replied, kissing along my jaw. “But, if you want, I could be a bit… nicer.” He kissed me again, hard, passionate, and I could taste the faintest traces of myself as his tongue pressed past my lips, claiming my mouth completely. Then once again he was gone, but not for long as I felt his hands grip my legs and felt latex caressing along me, and then there was the barest amount of penetration, a moment of waiting, savoring, and with one quick plunge, I felt myself stretching around him, hard and long within me.

All the nights of endless fantasizing couldn’t compare to what I was going through now, as he took me, dominated me completely physically. Hard and fast he slid in and out of me, stroking me like never before. Hard and unrelenting, he made me his, letting me know there would be no other for me, no one else for him. It was incredible, almost indescribable. And my god, his stamina. I lost track of how long we went at it, his cock driving me to three orgasms before he withdrew, unlocking the cuffs and rolling me onto my hands and knees.

I moaned as he entered me again, from behind this time, and gasped as I felt his thumb caressing against the entrance of my ass. He likely sensed me tensing, as he whispered softly, easing my tensions. “Easy, Jane. I won’t force anything you don’t want. Just let me know when you want to stop.”

I nodded lightly, gradually easing into the feelings coursing through me, and relaxed as I felt the lubed digit slowly enter me. He took his time, going slowly, letting me become accustomed to it until his thumb was rocking in my ass counter to his cock in my pussy. One would withdraw while the other plunged in, driving me even wilder and closer to ecstasy. My hands gripped the sheets beneath me tightly, and with my back arched sharply, my body rigid, I came again, yelling loudly as I felt myself release.

I collapsed onto the bed, breathing heavily before I felt him collapse on top of me. And that’s when everything became clouded. Something felt… off. The feel of his smooth bare leg against mine. And while he hadn’t orgasmed, at least not that I could tell, there was a definite wet spot forming on my leg. And there, pressed against my back, the distinct, unmistakable feeling of breasts.

Chrys obviously sense the change in me, rolling off and sitting up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to find out like this,” he said, a tone of sadness in his voice I hadn’t heard before. I felt him undoing the blind fold, and sat up as it was pulled away, turning to face those eyes, filled now with pain, the small breasts, and the condom covered strap on.

“What… What the fuck, Chrys? Those guys were right about you, in a way. You are gay, you just aren’t a guy…” I couldn’t believe it. But… there it was,. Sitting plain before me. It all made sense now. How he knew everything I wanted to feel, why I was able to get along with him so well.

“Jane, I…”

“Get out.” I glanced up at her. “Get the fuck out right now. GET THE FUCK OUT!”

She glanced at me, starting to reach out, and with a drop of her head, turned, gathering her clothes, leaving down the hallway. A few moments later I heard the door open and close. I just sat in my room, arms around me. What was I to do? I felt… I don’t know what I felt. Betrayed? Yes. Hurt? Yes. But at the same time, I still loved Chrys. But Chrys wasn’t really Chrys, not as I knew Chrys. My perfect male was a female. And inside, my emotions were screwed up, my stomach in knots. I just don’t know.

I need some time to think things over. Why did the right guy have to be the wrong person?

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A/N: So, should I continue it or not?
Reviews greatly appreciated.