All my dreams fulfilled
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Original - Misc › Non-Fiction/True Stories/Autobiographical
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
4
Views:
3,096
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › Non-Fiction/True Stories/Autobiographical
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
4
Views:
3,096
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of non fiction. Where possible - and where appropriate - permission has been granted from any people or their descendants to be included in this story. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
All my dreams fulfilled
When I was a child, I had sixteen people living in my house, coming and going, going and coming. I had love and abuse all around me. Self-esteem was one of the last subjects to be taught to my cousins and I. For me, it was too late. I have a cousin, three months older than me. She was the beautiful one, with her long blonde hair and her Pochahontas cheekbones. She had both of her parents, albeit they were both fucked up... addictions to gambling, coke and booze.
I had my mother; my father had run out several years ago, showing up once in a blue moon with fake tattoos and ice cream for the seven kids. I was always the last person he'd talk to. I was cute, but not beautiful. I prefered to sit in a bedroom and read, than get into my mothers makeup. I would sit in the front of the school bus to avoid the bullies, and I would run home as fast as I could so I wouldn't get beaten up. This was all in my Grandparents house. I don't remember much of those days, just the basics.
My Grandmother and I were close... When I could not sleep, I would crawl into her bed and we would watch COPS on her black and white T.V. in her bedroom.
When I was 10, I had a lot going on in my life - Babysitting for a 2 year old neice while my 20 year old sister would go and get drunk for hours on end, striving for the honour roll, and running away from the kids on the bus. My Grandmother was my saviour at the end of the day. When I was 10, a lot changed for me. My whole life was flipped upside down and inside out, and life stopped making sense. My Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer in her heart, brain, lungs, kidney and liver. With it spreading so quickly, to so many places, she didn't have much time to live. But due to the huge family all in her home, she was our glue. She went on with Chemotherapy and radiation, just to give herself a few more months.
I was so angry with her when she died. It was December 11th, the day of my best friend's birthday, two weeks before Christmas, and 17 days before my 11th birthday.
With the glue gone, everything started to disintigrate. My mother was having difficulty at work (as a teacher at a provincial pennitentary), my grandfather got sick, my fuck up Aunt and Uncle moved back in after letting us have 3 years of solitude... School was an escape. I was given special permission to stay inside during recess, due to the bullying problem. I would just stare at the blackboard, sitting in my thoughts until my peers came back. I had nothing left, really.
To get away from it all, Mom bought a small trailor just outside of the city we lived in. It was a simple place. Kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom, bedroom. One thing that must be understood now, is that to cope with sadness, my mother spends money. She spends ridiculous amounts just to distract herself. One of the purchases she made back then, in 1999, was a computer. We got dial-up and I started to go online. I was one of the few people I knew that actually had a computer! I started to make some friends... on the internet.
One of these friends changed my life.
I had my mother; my father had run out several years ago, showing up once in a blue moon with fake tattoos and ice cream for the seven kids. I was always the last person he'd talk to. I was cute, but not beautiful. I prefered to sit in a bedroom and read, than get into my mothers makeup. I would sit in the front of the school bus to avoid the bullies, and I would run home as fast as I could so I wouldn't get beaten up. This was all in my Grandparents house. I don't remember much of those days, just the basics.
My Grandmother and I were close... When I could not sleep, I would crawl into her bed and we would watch COPS on her black and white T.V. in her bedroom.
When I was 10, I had a lot going on in my life - Babysitting for a 2 year old neice while my 20 year old sister would go and get drunk for hours on end, striving for the honour roll, and running away from the kids on the bus. My Grandmother was my saviour at the end of the day. When I was 10, a lot changed for me. My whole life was flipped upside down and inside out, and life stopped making sense. My Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer in her heart, brain, lungs, kidney and liver. With it spreading so quickly, to so many places, she didn't have much time to live. But due to the huge family all in her home, she was our glue. She went on with Chemotherapy and radiation, just to give herself a few more months.
I was so angry with her when she died. It was December 11th, the day of my best friend's birthday, two weeks before Christmas, and 17 days before my 11th birthday.
With the glue gone, everything started to disintigrate. My mother was having difficulty at work (as a teacher at a provincial pennitentary), my grandfather got sick, my fuck up Aunt and Uncle moved back in after letting us have 3 years of solitude... School was an escape. I was given special permission to stay inside during recess, due to the bullying problem. I would just stare at the blackboard, sitting in my thoughts until my peers came back. I had nothing left, really.
To get away from it all, Mom bought a small trailor just outside of the city we lived in. It was a simple place. Kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom, bedroom. One thing that must be understood now, is that to cope with sadness, my mother spends money. She spends ridiculous amounts just to distract herself. One of the purchases she made back then, in 1999, was a computer. We got dial-up and I started to go online. I was one of the few people I knew that actually had a computer! I started to make some friends... on the internet.
One of these friends changed my life.