Rêverie

Rêverie (c) Lauren Wagner 2007

Dawn had broken out over the horizon, the light pressing relentlessly against the black-out curtains. Damien sat awake, back pressed against the headboard, unmoving save for the steady rise and fall of his chest. He fought the sun induced sleep that pulled on his eyes, watching the window intently. When his eyes drooped shut her face appeared causing him to wake himself sharply. Her pale face haunted him in his usually peaceful dreams.

For a moment, he briefly wondered what it would feel like to die. To walk out into the sunshine like he did as a young mortal man and just not return. It would be befitting to go out in a blaze of glory just like his Sire. To be with Her again it would be worth it. How long would it take? He mused. Would it hurt? Would he even notice? Where would he go anyway? He was no longer in gods good grace, and no matter how many hail Mary's he said nothing would change. Would he go to hell instead? That blazing inferno he read about in Sunday school where you were punished severely, teased for eternity by the sins you had committed to make it there while demons laughed at you, planning silently how they would devour you. In retrospect, this option of dieing and ending there didn't seem very pleasant, however he figured that if hell was where vampires (not to mention suicide being a sin as well) went when they died, even seeing his love for a moment, to touch her face once more, to feel her heavy hair strewn across his chest was worth eternal damnation.

His thoughts were broken by the sharp burning sensation shooting up from his fingers to his shoulder. Yanking his arm back, the curtain fell closed once more. He studied the burned skin of his hand, wincing as it healed. When had he moved? He didn't remember getting up nor making his way to the window. As he fell back onto the bed he felt the first hint of wetness on his cheeks. "Forgive me Charlotte, I do not appear to be man enough to join you. I am ashamed of myself, while you went through that blazing inferno and I cannot even show my hand to the sun without wrenching away like a cockroach." With a miserable groan he covered his face in his hands, allowing the tears to seep through his pale fingers.

He sat like that for hours, eventually falling into a restless sleep. He awoke when it was dark, his chance to end it all diminished with the coming of the stars. "We aren't made to face the sun nor die Damien. There is no shame in fearing either. There is no cowardice in self preservation." came a soft voice from the door frame. He shot up, startled by the alien sound. Rubbing the tears from his eyes he looked, "E-Edana?" he stammered, staring doe-eyed at the shadowed figure. Edana stepped forward, gliding silently to the nightstand and lighting the candelabra with a match from the drawer. "H-how did you know?" Edana's small face turned to him, a sad smile on her lips, " The entire community heard your pain Cheri. I just happened to be the one that cared."

Despite her height she moved around the room gracefully, doing his neglected tidying. After a while Damien spoke up, "Thank you Edana. For coming here. You really didn't have to." She sank down next to him on the mattress, her thin hand gripping his shoulder. "And let you do something foolish like kill yourself? I think not, nor would I allow others to come and do it for you." she fell silent, her usually energetic face going blank, before she snapped herself out of it. "Yes I did have to. Since Orinth is no longer with us you are my responsibility. When he passed I lost my dear brother and lover. I will not allow that to happen to you Cheri. I adore you far too much."

Her words brought fresh tears to his eyes. Fighting the urge to cry in front of her he turned away and let the tear fall. Featherlight fingers brushed his cheek, bringing his face around to meet hers in a kiss. Edana's full, chilly lips against his broke the barrier and his tears came tumbling down, hot and steamy against his cold skin. Sobbing he pushed away, head falling into the crook of her neck as he cried against the midnight blue velvet of her gown. She lifted him up into her lap, cradling his body like a child's, shushing each chest wracking sob with a quiet foreign lullaby. Her pale fingers pushed through his dark hair, brushing softly it to an ebony sheen.

They stayed like that for hours until tears no longer flowed, until only dry, desperate coughs and hiccups remained. She lifted his face once more to hers and studied his damp blotchy face. His lovely coal-like eyes were bloodshot almost beyond recognition, his skin dehydrated and pulled taut over his hollowed and gaunt cheek bones. Shaking her head at his appearance she caressed his face between her hands. Pulling him back to her neck she pressed his lips to her throat. "Drink..." she whispered, her voice as soft and dark as the fabric of her dress.

He hesitated, staring at the luminescent skin of her long neck. He traced the lines and twists of her veins with his eyes, choosing one and sinking his canines into her. She stiffened at the penetration, gasping a little at the desperation he shared with her upon entry. Feeling the full force of his agony drop down upon them like a sheet of lead, threatening to crush every bone in her body. He suckled tenderly, rejuvenating himself with her old, powerful blood.

The emotion, the sweetness of his teeth inside her, pulled on every nerve until she feared if she didn't stop him she would orgasm and allow him to drain her dry without a second thought. Gripping his hair, Edana pulled him away, whimpering at the loss of sensation. He looked better now, his face back to its original fullness, a slight blush tinging the ivory skin. She smiled, brushing her lips over his chastely, "Much better..." her breath caressing his cheek just as softly as her fingers had moments before. "you are so beautiful Damien, my brother could not have chosen better."

Watching with mottled fascination as she pulled on his shirt and began unbuttoning it his mind went blissfully blank and for the first time since it happened, he closed his eyes and was greeted by darkness. His shirt slid down his shoulders and her hands meticulously brushed up and down his torso, eyes taking in everything she saw as she went on and on about how beautiful he was.

"Damien, I am your Sire now. Orinth is dead and I have given you my blood. You belong to me." Her voice was husky, a long fingernail traced his dusky nipples, hardening them to points and taking them into her mouth. Her tongue was cold against his skin, sending shivers up and down his spine. "Edana please... do not do this to me. I beg of you." Trying so very hard to sound commanding his voice cracked as he spoke, his hand quivering as he tried to push her away but failed. She took his shaking hand, lacing her fingers within his own, and kissed his knuckles. "Let me have this Damien. Please. My brother lives in you, I can feel his energy entwined with your own. Let me feel him through you." To this he could say nothing, only nod silently as he closed his eyes again to the blessed darkness Edana's touch seemed to pull over him.

Looking up at her from the bed she had never looked more angelic. Her gown discarded as well as his trousers she sat straddling his waist, looking down at him, violet eyes misty with delusion. Her hands found the tight bun that sat atop her head and released it, the wavy midnight silk that was her hair came tumbling down her shoulders and pooled around them on the bed, the lengthy tresses tickling his bare abdomen and his hands as he pulled it through his fingers. He imagined, just as she was imagining, that it was not Edana who sat atop him, but Charlotte. With his eyes closed to the outside world he at last welcomed the visions of her, laid out on the white linen bed covers, tea colored hair strewn around her head like a halo. Her emerald eyes half closed in ecstasy, perfect white breasts rising and falling with each breath, each moan, each time she said his name, Damien..

The image distorted shortly as Edana lowered herself onto his shaft, sucking in a breath and releasing it, Orinth... her voice a whimper in the quiet room. And then he saw Charlotte looking up at him again, petal like lips parted just so and her eyes fully closed now but still awake, waiting for him. His hands gripped Edana's hips and he saw himself raising Charlotte up to meet him. He pushed up into Edana and as her walls tightened around him he pictured his love's eyes shooting open as he thrust inside her. This continued, this grand hallucination, each partner ravishing each other without knowing. Gripping hair, scratching, biting, each screaming their lost loves names as they came together and finally collapsed beside the other, eyes still closed and still connected, hopeful that if they stayed that way the dream would continue.