All the Wide Ocean to Cross

1

Danny Nguyen absentmindedly pulled off his shoes and socks so he could squish the sand between his toes, his attention on the wide and glittering Pacific that lay before him. He stepped up to a spot just an inch or two behind where the smallest edges of the waves reached bubbling on the sand, but he didn't get his feet wet yet. The ocean seemed too large, too wild for him to try and tread in. Also, it was loud- he didn't expect it to be so loud. It drowned out the words that had been ringing in his head for the past week and a half no son of mine. It was good to have something else echoing in his ears.

Danny could see a surfer out on the morning waves. He'd only seen surfing on TV or in the movies before. The guy looked really small out there being rocked around by the water. A minute later the man disappeared under the water and surfaced as the wave rolled him closer to the shore. Danny watched him come out of the water and walk up the beach to where had had stopped.

"Help you with something, buddy?" the man asked Danny. The surfer was tall and lean. His close cropped hair a shade darker than the thin whirls of sand that clung to his wet tanned skin. He was maybe forty, but well muscled and he had soft crinkles at the sides of his eyes from squinting or smiling, both of which he was doing as he stood there waiting for Danny's answer.

"Oh- I was just-" Danny looked back to the sea. "It's beautiful. I-"

"Yeah, it's beautiful down at the public beach, too." He pointed down the shoreline. "This one's private."

"Sorry, I didn't- I guess that's your house up there, then?" Danny had hardly noticed the house as he passed it on his way to see the ocean. Who cared about a house next to the siren song of the shining sea?

"The white one with the red shutters? Yeah, that's mine."

"Man, you're lucky- to be so close to the water."

The man considered Danny a moment and asked, "First time in California?"

"Yeah- first time I've seen the ocean- any ocean."

"Ah. Take your time, then. Just leave the beach as good or better than you found it." He started up towards the house.

"Thank you- oh hey! I think I parked my truck in your driveway. I'll come move it."

"Nah." He waved Danny off. "Don't bother. It's fine."

Danny wasn't sure how long he stood there being awed by the sheer size and force of the Pacific. The sun on his skin, baking through his clothes, the breeze pulling at his hair and the soft salt taste in the air added to it, making him reluctant to leave. He was mesmerized by the roll and drag rhythm of the tide coming in, only moving to retreat a step when the waves threatened to touch his toes.

"Still here?" asked a voice from behind him. It was the same man- the surfer who owned this bit of beach and looked almost as if it owned him right back- so well did he fit here. "You didn't even get wet yet, did you?"

"I guess it's daunting, you know? So tremendous and old and just amazing- who am I to go in?" Danny didn't think the guy would get what he meant. Danny wasn't even certain what he meant, except that as much as the ocean had a hold over him, it was also a little frightening.

"It's not so bad." And then, as if it naturally followed, he asked, "You eat? I'm about to make some breakfast."

"Oh- thanks, but I couldn't- you've been so nice letting me stay- Mr.- uh-"

"Tom, Tom Stevens," the man supplied offering his hand for Danny to shake.

"Daniel Nguyen." His hand was warm and slightly calloused, as if he did his share of hard work, although not all the time.

"Pleasure. What's a few eggs and a cup of coffee in the grand plan, eh? Come on inside." He turned back to the house as if there was no way Danny would protest any further, so Danny didn't.

***

"You been traveling long?" Tom asked his skinny young beach intruder turned breakfast guest as he cooked.

"Week and a half- drove from Missouri. I'm planning to head up to San Francisco next. I hope to anyway," he answered.

"What's in San Francisco?" Tom asked, but he was pretty sure he knew why the kid was headed there. Half the runaways he used to see at the station were headed there for the same reason. The other half was headed for LA in the hopes of becoming famous, although he'd never known one who did. He finished up the eggs, looked at how skin and bones Daniel was and poured the entire contents of the pan (which Tom had originally intended to split between them) onto Daniel's plate. Then he cracked a couple more into the pan for himself.

"Thanks." He tucked into the food like he hadn't eaten in days and Tom wasn't surprised in the least. The kid really did have that look. Between bites Danny mumbled something about having friends in San Francisco.

Once they'd finished eating, Tom suggested, "You really ought to call them, you know, the people back home are probably worried."

Daniel paused a moment before replying carefully. "I'm sure they're fine."

"No matter what you fought about, you can at least make sure they know you're safe. Parents worry- even crappy ones," Tom told him gently, since he looked like he was maybe going to break for the door. "I'm just offering you a chance to make sure they know."

"I'm not a runaway. I'm nineteen," he proclaimed, "And they really don't want to hear from me."

"Really? You sure about that?"

"Yeah, yeah I am," he said with a grim set to his face.

"Okay, what'd you do that was so terrible?" Tom asked because the kid wanted to talk, he could feel it.

Daniel picked up his half full coffee mug and slowly stood up. "You've been really nice to me, letting me hang out on the beach and feeding me, so I'm not going to lie to you, but can I- can we talk about this back outside? I'd like to see the ocean one more time before you kick me out or call the cops."

"Sure thing," Tom answered and followed his guest back outside.

Daniel had retrieved his socks and shoes from where they had been strewn across the sand and was standing at the edge of the waves again, his shoes in one hand and his coffee in the other staring at the ocean again. Tom stepped up next to him and waited.

"You really are lucky to have this place," Daniel repeated, stalling.

"You never know, maybe I can help, if you tell me..."

"Just promise me you won't slug me over it," he asked, his eyes still on the sea.

"Why would I-"

"Because I'm doing the same thing here on your beach that my dad didn't want me doing in his house. He threw me out over it."

"Which was?"

"Being gay."

"Oh." Just what Tom had thought. "Don't worry, I'm not going to slug you. It'd be something else if I hit every guy on my beach who did that, since I'm doing it, too."

Daniel finally looked from the water to Tom. "You're?"

Tom nodded. "Not going to call the cops either, since it's not illegal. And I should know since I'm a cop, too. Well, a retired one, anyway."

"Oh."

"So, as long as you're really nineteen, I've got no problem with you." Tom smiled before asking his next question. "Can I see some ID?"

***

The fact that Tom the Golden Surfer, as Danny had started thinking of him, was gay was surprising, not so much because Danny had thought that a guy like that couldn't be gay, so much as the fact that it was a really weird coincidence that the first person he talked to in California turned out to be gay and, well, kind of gorgeous, if a little old for Danny. The fact that Tom the Golden Surfer was an ex-cop didn't surprise Danny at all- that was just his luck. Because, while Danny didn't usually do anything that would make cops a problem for him, his dad still had the pink slip on the old clunker of a truck Danny had driven out here (even though it was Danny's money that had paid for it and kept it running for the last two years). Danny wasn't so certain that his dad wouldn't report it stolen.

So, when asked for it, Danny just silently pulled out his license and was glad that Tom was a really nice man he'd met on the beach who wanted to make sure he was all right, and not a patrol officer who'd spotted the broken tail light that had happened in Utah and Danny hadn't yet bothered to fix. Because he'd have really be up shit's creek then.

Tom inspected the license a moment and gave it back to Danny. "You got enough money to make San Francisco- cause I've got a spare room and a couple of big jobs I've been meaning to do around the house that would go much better with two- that is if you're interested?"

"Really?" Danny hadn't expected another invitation- Tom had been way nicer than Danny expected anyone out here to be. "Yeah- I mean no. Wait. I mean No, I don't have enough money and yeah, I'm interested-" Danny flustered at the comically leering raised eyebrow Tom shot him just then. "I'm interested in the work. And the room. Please."

"Good." Tom gave him a wink. "Let me show you the room." Tom went inside. Danny took one more longing look at the sea, then one down at the waves lapping just in front of him. He dipped a toe in. It was colder than he expected, but after all that, it was just water- wet and salty and cold and big, but just water.