My Dearest Mother

For every time your TV show

Was more important

Than conversing with me,

For every time you snapped

As my little fingers

Tangled in your pant leg,

For every time those words...

I love you...

Were ignored,

For every fight

You swore you’d remember forever

And never did,

For every time you told me

How ridiculous I was

While I was crying outside and agonizing inside,

For every time

My questions about life

Went unanswered,

For every time you told me no

Only because

You never had the same luxury,

For every time

You spoke volumes

With your unbearable silence,

I hate you.

This burning, festering, wound

That I fear will never mend.

Even deeper, more frightful,

Than my suffocating hate for you,

Is the contempt I hold for myself,

For being unable to forgive you.

I cannot forgive you

For never loving me.

The one person whose love

Should be effortless and unending.

You hold no love for me,

And I’ve no love for you,

My dearest Mother.