Mottled Me

Mottled me

No, I said no. Pain a complete pain it slitting me from bottom up. Flesh is being ripped. There’s blood. A constant throb of pain that comes with each and every movement he makes. I’m screaming. Yet no one can hear me. His hand covers my mouth, now no one can really hear me. I’m crying. I can feel and taste the warm saltiness from those said tears. I feel a complete coldness come over me.

Then it’s over. He’s off me in an instant. It’s over and I’m alone. I get up from where he held me down and I walk away. My clothing is ripped and I’m confused. There is a constant throbbing in my lower stomach. I can feel the blood dripping down my legs. My makeup is smeared and I can’t breathe. My strength is dwindling and I stumble.

I can’t move my fingers on my left hand. He bit through my lip. I see my front door and I’m afraid to walk in. How do I explain my appearance? How do I explain the blood and bruises? I go through the back and head straight up the stairs to my bathroom.

The tub is filled with scalding hot water. I peel the remains of my clothing and step into the water. I’m not even 16 yet and already I feel as thought it is time for me to go.

My flesh turns a dark pink and so does the water. My wrist is all black, blue and purple and the color is growing. Pictures from a couple of hours ago flash in my head, and I feel numb. There is nothing left to give. There are no more reactions in my brain because there is nothing left.

I sit in that tub for hours I know my parents know I’m home, my shoes are by the back door and the door is unlocked. I can hear my parents calling me and walking towards my room but I no longer have the voice to say anything. My throat is constricting and the only sounds I make are choking.

There’s a knock on the bathroom door. I can hear them telling me that they’re off for work and to have a good day. Then they’re gone.

I look down at the cold red water. There are bruises forming on my body. My wrist is broken. I can see myself in the full length mirror on the door. There’s a bruise the shape of a hand over my mouth. My eyes are wild and I know that I have to go to the hospital to get my wrist fixed.

Getting out of the tub the best way I could I look in the water and see all the blood that was trapped under me. I unplug the tub and watch the blood drip away. I wish that is was me. I walk to my bedroom naked. What’s the point if all things that once made me, me have been stripped away. I lie down on my bed. I don’t deserve the comforts of modesty.

I stared at my ceiling for most of the day. Sleep coming in shifts, often it was disrupted by a throb of pain in my chest or in between my legs. Nightmares never giving me a moments rest. My thoughts and emotions are all mixed up. I don’t know what to feel any more or wether or not I should.

As the hours passed by I listened to the sounds of the neighborhood. My wrist was a horrible mottled purple color that reminded me of his shirt. I know it’s almost time for my parents to come home and I look like something out of a horror movie. I have teeth marks on my body, and I have a freakish numbness growing from my mind to the rest of my body.

I put on some clothes to hide my nudity and hopefully my stupidity. Looking into a mirror one last time, I notice my reflection had taken on a discolored purple look.