Our Song - Change

“Take me with you. I won’t let you go alone Masa.”

Though it was Sekirei who had spoken, Naardhi’s eyes lifted from the bar counter and sought out Masa, intent on catching his reaction. All three of them knew the depth of what Sekirei was offering - that much was evident in the heightened tension in the air around them. Naardhi had never found out how the rift caused by the discovery of Masa’s Vampyric nature had been resolved between her two companions, and she had never asked. But she knew it was still a sensitive issue, especially for Sekirei. For him to make this offer now, knowing exactly what it entailed ...
The seconds ticked by, and when Masa still gave no response, Naardhi spoke up for him.

“Sekirei, you can’t go. You’re still alive.” She spoke carefully, her voice uncharacteristically gentle, eyes still fixed upon Masa. Naardhi could only guess what was going through the dark haired man’s mind as he sat there so very still, his shadowy eyes focused on the glass of water in his hands. The only time she’d seen Masa so withdrawn was the night he came to her after Sekirei had discovered he was a Vampyre.

“Masa can change me, make me like him. Then I can go.”

Sekirei’s words were directed at Naardhi, but he too was looking at Masa, waiting for any kind of reaction. “Masa -”

“No.” Masa finally raised his head, dark eyes meeting Sekirei’s vibrant green ones. His voice was low and barely audible, but so intense it almost made Naardhi wince to hear it. “I won’t do it.”

“It’s my decision, I want to -”

“It isn’t an option!”

It was the first time Naardhi had ever heard Masa raise his voice, and evidently it was for Sekirei too, as the younger man visibly recoiled, shocked by the sudden change in his usually even tempered friend. Though she wanted to give her opinion, Naardhi kept her mouth shut. This wasn’t any of her business.

“Why isn’t it an option? This isn’t just a spur of the moment decision Masa! I’ve thought about it long and hard. You can’t go alone!”

“I’ll be fine.” Masa’s voice was almost a growl as he rose from his seat with his signature feline grace, his movements slow and deliberate. Refusing to look at Sekirei, he crushed out his cigarette and turned for the stairs.

“Why won’t you let me help you?”

Initially, Sekirei’s words seemed to fall upon deaf ears. Masa kept walking, but gradually slowed his pace and finally halted altogether, appearing as if he had been fighting an inward battle against his temper and had lost.
The speed with which he moved was incredible, and he was upon Sekirei in seconds, lifting him by the front of his jacket with a strength that shouldn’t be possible for a man of his size. Appearing light years away from the gentle soul Naardhi had come to call friend, Masa threw Sekirei roughly against the graffitied wall of the bar, using the time it took for the taller man to recover to glide forward and press the palms of his hands against the wall either side of Sekirei’s head. Pulling his lips back in a vicious snarl and deliberately revealing his elongated fangs, Masa hissed into Sekirei’s ear;

“Is this what you want to become? A creature more animal than man?!”

Sekirei lifted his chin fractionally, his expression flickering from defiant to provocative in the space of a heart beat.

“Do it.”

Their eyes met - Masa’s dark irises deepened by his heavy make up and made feverishly bright by the blood lust rising within him - Sekirei’s gaze clear and green as new spring leaves and contrasting sharply with the strands of pink hair that fell across his face. For the longest time neither man moved nor spoke, locked together in a silent battle of wills.
Finally, Masa was the first to look away.

“You don’t know what you’re asking.” Backing off with an expression that resembled a caged and distressed wild animal, he threw a quick, indecipherable glance at Naardhi before grabbing his jacket from the counter and storming out the front door of the bar.

Naardhi watched him go, saddened by the inner turmoil she knew was ravaging the little man, and worried how he would deal with it.

“Nada bring him back here and make him do it!” Sekirei slammed his hand down on the table, rattling the ash tray and various empty cans and glasses scattered about.

“I can’t do that Sekirei.”

“Don’t give me that! ‘Course you can do it. Just Thrall the bastard!”

“Yeah, I could just Thrall him.”

Naardhi sighed softly, running a hand through her hair as she tried to find the right words to explain herself. Sure, it would probably make things go a whole lot more smoothly if both Masa and Sekirei were able to cross over on the full moon. And it was definitely within her power to possess Masa and force him do as Sekirei wanted. But knowing what she did about Masa, and knowing how it would effect him afterwards, there was no way Naardhi could do it.

“But I can’t force Masa to do something against his will. Not something like this.”

“Nada -”

“He hates himself Sekirei. He calls himself ‘monster’.”

“How do you know that?” Although he was hesitant - part of him wanting to follow Masa and continue the argument, Sekirei lowered himself onto the chair opposite Naardhi and folded his hands on the table top.

“The night you found out about him ... Masa came and confided in me. He told me everything. How he was Turned, how much he hates what he was forced to become, how he longs for death ...”

At Naardhi’s words, all of Sekirei’s anger melted away, replaced by deep concern for his friend, and a little bit of hurt that Masa felt he couldn’t confide in him.

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“Masa loves you Sekirei.” Naardhi reached out to wrap her fingers around Sekirei’s clasped hands. “More than I think you realise. But he hates himself even more. He told me that he didn’t tell you, because when he’s around you he can almost forget what he is. You make him happy. He didn’t tell you because he doesn’t want to think about it himself. He doesn’t want to be reminded of the monster he sees himself as being, and he doesn’t want you to be a part of that. When you asked him to Turn you ...”

Naardhi shook her head gently, trying to gauge Sekirei’s feelings from what she could see of his downcast face. It was difficult trying to explain Masa’s reasoning. In some ways he was a simple man, but at the same time he was one of the most complicated people Naardhi knew.

“Thanks Nada.”

After a long period of silence, Sekirei lifted his eyes. His face looked weary, and Naardhi could tell there were a lot of conflicting emotions battling inside the former hunter.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I’ll call it a night. Lock up when you go, okay?” Seeming very distant, he rose from his seat and headed for the stairs without another word.

“’Night hon.”

Rénaardhi lowered her head onto her folded arms, gazing sightlessly at peeling paint on the wall and wishing there was something more she could do. Unfortunately, this was something Masa and Sekirei had to resolve for themselves. All she could do was wait.

---

Sekirei lost track of how many hours he sat by the window, gazing through the broken glass at the rising moon. The confrontation in the bar downstairs seemed so far away, like it had happened in another lifetime. Yet it still replayed in his mind, over and over ...
He hadn’t expected Masa to get so upset. No ... That was a lie ... The truth was, he hadn’t thought about Masa at all. Not really. Not in an emotional sense. The whole situation had come about because he didn’t want Masa to make the Crossing alone. Because he was concerned for his safety. He hadn’t stopped to think how it would effect his friend. But why should he have reason to think it would upset him so much, when Masa never told him anything? It was strange to suddenly realise that although he counted Masa as his closest friend, he really knew nothing about him. It seemed that whenever there was a problem he went running to Naardhi. Sekirei hadn’t realised the two were so close.

“Hey ...”

The familiar, slightly husky voice broke the silence of the room, drawing Sekirei’s gaze from the sky. Masa stood slouched in the doorway, hands hidden in his jacket pockets, a sheepish expression upon his face.

“Mind if I join you?”

Sekirei gave a slight shrug and turned back to the window.

“Do what you want. It’s not like what I think matters.”

A flinch ghosted across Masa’s face and he hesitated before entering the room, crossing the floor almost silently and taking a seat in the window box opposite Sekirei, drawing his knees up against his chest. Gazing at the waxing moon as it sailed through the light cloud cover, Masa began to speak.

“I was twenty four when I was Turned into a Vampyre. At that time I was very sick ... Dying actually, I, had a problem with my lungs ...”

He paused briefly, lowering his eyes to his hands and staring at his black painted fingernails as if they were the most fascinating things he’d ever seen. When he began speaking again, it was with a very detached tone of voice, like the events he spoke of hadn’t really happened to him, and he was relating something as simple and meaningless as the weather.

“My family was very close. My older sister and I especially. When it became clear that I wasn’t going to get better, my sister was very upset. She couldn’t accept that I was going to die. Her friends gave her the names of some people from Ochrynas who they said could help. In turn, those people set her up a meeting with a Vampyre. I don’t know how much she paid, or how she got the money for that matter, but the Vampyre agreed to do as my sister asked. He came to our village and Turned me so I wouldn’t die.
“My family was thrilled, I’d been sick for a long time, so it seemed like a miracle to them that I was suddenly healthy and could live my life again. Every day after that I wished they had let the sickness take me ... I was alive, but it’s an artificial life ... I can’t sustain it on my own, I have to steal the lives of others to survive. It’s not something you can fight ... I tried, I starved myself for months, but it’s always there ... That longing, that need for blood. It’s not something you can understand if you haven’t felt it. In the early days it almost drove me mad. My lowest point was when I became so desperate that I couldn’t fight it any more. I was so weak, worse than when I was sick. I needed to feed, and my sister was right there ... She was staying with me because she knew I wasn’t well ... She didn’t even try to fight me when I came for her ... She could have stopped me. Easily. But she didn’t even try ...”

Masa broke off before the memories of that night could completely flood his mind. He could still see his sister’s face behind closed eyes, the way she looked at him, her face so peaceful and understanding, then her soft whimper as he drained her life away ...

Sekirei sat in silence while Masa told his story. It was an indescribably odd experience, being told the history of a man who up until that night, seemed to have no past. A stupid thing to think, because of course everyone had a past. But that was just the way it had seemed to Sekirei. Masa never spoke of his past, and Sekirei never asked about it. So sometimes he forgot it even existed.

“I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“Her name was Liliana ...” A faint smile flickered across Masa’s lips as he pulled off his bandanna and ran long, slender fingers through his hair. “I don’t want you to go through what I did. What I still am. It ... Changes you. I’m a Vampyre, then, I’m Masa. The monster always comes first. I don’t want to see that happen to you Sekirei. Not to you ..."

“It’s all about what you want isn’t it. What about what I want?”

“What do you want Sekirei?” Masa asked quietly, resting his head against the window, suddenly seeming very tired.

“To be able to help you! Nada won’t say it because there’s no other way, but I know she doesn’t want to send you alone. If you think Sol-leeks is going to be the only thing down there then you’re crazy. If you go alone you’ll die.”

“Maybe I will. Maybe not. The odds aren’t worth killing you over.”

“But you won’t be killing me, just changing me.”

“If you really believe that, you're even more naive than I thought. I won’t do it Sekirei.”

“Then I’ll go to Ochrynas and find someone who will.” Sekirei stood and began to walk away, but was forced to stop when Masa grabbed his wrist. “Let go.”

“Are you completely stupid? The only thing you’ll find in Ochrynas is a swift death. You were a hunter, surely you’ve got to be aware that tier city Vamps aren’t the most sociable of creatures. There’s gotten to be so many of them that they out number the humans. That makes for competition. No respectable Ochrynas Vampyre is going to add to the population and decrease his chances of future meals. If you go there asking to get bitten, you aren’t going to come out again.”

“Damnit! I know that!” Desperation starting to take hold of him, Sekirei collapsed back into the window box and cradled his head in his hands. “I don’t want to lose you Masa ... And I just, I’m scared that if you make the Crossing alone, I won’t see you again ...”

Masa sat quietly, arms linked loosely around his knees as he gazed at Sekirei’s bowed head, his pink hair almost silvered in the moonlight. He’d never seen the other man appear so vulnerable before. Never heard him admit to being afraid of anything. He was reminded of how young Sekirei really was, despite how much the years as a Vampyre hunter had jaded and aged him. Just twenty three years old ... Almost the same age Masa had been when he was Turned. He hadn’t had a choice. Maybe neither of them did ...

Extending a hand, he gently stroked Sekirei’s head, letting his fingers slip through the silky strands of hair and marvelling that anything about a man so strong and hard could be so wonderfully soft. Sekirei gave a soft sigh in response to the caress and closed his eyes, tilting his head so that he leaned into Masa’s touch.

“You won’t be able to go into the sunlight any more ...”

Realising that Masa had just given his agreement to do as he asked of him, Sekirei felt his heartbeat quicken and the subtle fingers of fear danced down his spine. Masa sensed the change immediately and as he leaned forward to rest his cheek upon Sekirei’s head, he murmured softly;

“There’s still time to change your mind.”

“No ... This is how I want it ...”

Sekirei’s eyes remained closed, his long lashes making dark half circles upon high cheekbones as Masa traced his jaw line with a butterfly light touch, pausing to cup his chin between thumb and forefinger.

“Open your eyes.”

He did as he was asked, and was instantly struck by how ethereally beautiful Masa looked in the moonlight. He’d always considered him an attractive man, but had never encountered this dark, haunting beauty before. Of course, he’d never been this close to Masa before either.
Almost afraid to meet the Vampyre’s gaze he slowly lifted his eyes - And was consumed. Dark, quiet intensity lived in those eyes. Liquid darkness that in that moment, claimed Sekirei forever.

Sliding his fingertips away and breaking contact with Sekirei, Masa beckoned for him to follow as he rose from the window box. Sekirei felt like he was watching someone else’s dream as he rose and followed Masa into the centre of the room, his body seeming to move of its own accord. He felt like he’d lost all control, but the feeling came without any sense of helplessness. Sekirei no longer had any say in what would take place, but he didn’t care.

“Take off your jacket.”

Once again, Sekirei did as he was instructed without question, unzipping the high collared jacket and throwing it aside. He shivered slightly in the breeze that wafted in through the broken glass in the window, though it wasn’t a cold night at all. Aware of how Masa’s eyes were drawn to his now exposed neck, Sekirei felt his heartbeat quicken with anticipation. His earlier thought of having relinquished all control to Masa was replaced by a new one. The situation was now out of both their hands. No matter what happened, there was no going back now. For either of them.

With a slight shrug of his shoulders, Masa slid out of his own jacket, the garment falling to the floor in a heap, instantly forgotten. He stepped forward, so close to Sekirei now that he could feel the heat rising from his body, but still not touching. Slowly Masa leaned in, his lips gently grazing the bare skin of Sekirei’s throat. He felt the other man’s involuntary flinch and paused, before reaching up, closing what little distance remained between them and bestowing a soft, lingering kiss upon Sekirei’s lips.

Sekirei wasn’t sure what surprised him more - the kiss itself or the sweet tenderness of Masa’s touch.
His tensed muscles relaxed and even as he closed his eyes he felt Masa’s lips moving against his as he whispered the words;

“I’m sorry.”

The sudden pain in his neck was fierce and unexpected, and his first instinct was to pull away. But Masa held him firmly, one hand behind his head, fingers twined in his hair, the other arm wrapped around his back. Sekirei struggled, the basic instinct of self preservation ruling his actions. But he was no match for Masa’s Vampyric strength, and he soon ceased to fight.

It was that moment of acceptance that Masa had been waiting for. When Sekirei’s body relaxed against his own he eased his grip, idly stroking his hair as he drank deeply of his friend’s life blood. From time to time Sekirei would moan softly and writhe against him, his hands pushing half heartedly against Masa’s chest or reaching up to tangle in his midnight black hair. Masa continued to drink, dropping slowly to the floor when Sekirei no longer had the strength to stand.

“Masa ... Stop ...”

If anything, the plea only spurred Masa on, inciting him to bite harder, every part of him loving the soft whimper that escaped Sekirei’s lips, the way his body arched helplessly beneath him, torn between fear, pain and ecstasy. The animal within Masa - the Vampyre - had assumed complete control.

It was only when Sekirei ceased to move, his breathing so shallow it was barely existent that Masa regained some semblance of restraint. Cursing himself and the monster that lurked within, Masa forced himself to stop. He’d drunk too much. Although his instincts screamed at him to finish what he had begun, Masa restrained himself, lifting Sekirei’s upper body from the floor and cradling him in his arms.

“Come on, stay with me ...”

Sekirei was barely conscious as Masa dragged his fingernails across his neck, effectively slitting his own throat. Blood began to flow from the gash immediately, and Masa pushed Sekirei’s lips to his throat, forcibly holding him there when he began to struggle feebly with the last of his strength.

“Drink.”

Sekirei began to splutter and choke, but Masa held him firm.

“Drink, Sekirei.”

Reluctantly at first, Sekirei obeyed. But as the curse began to take hold, his actions became more fervent, until although he had yet to develop the fangs of the Vampyre, he was biting and tearing at Masa’s throat, unrelenting in his newly awakened desire for blood.

Masa endured the abuse without protest, arching his back slightly and tilting his head to fully expose his naked throat. He felt the hot rivulets of blood as they ran from his torn flesh, pooled in the hollow of his throat then slid down his chest. He sensed Sekirei’s dismay at the wasted blood, heard the snapping of buttons as Sekirei tore his thin cotton shirt open, closed his eyes as Sekirei bent down and ran his tongue from navel to collar bone, lapping up the warm crimson liquid then resuming his assault upon Masa’s throat.

In some distant, detached part of his mind, Sekirei was dimly aware of what he was doing. But it was like he was wrapped in a thick haze that clouded his thoughts and stopped him from thinking clearly. He knew he was hurting Masa. And that small part of him that still retained its humanity begged him to stop. It was futile to try and fight against the Vampyre though, and even if he could, Masa’s hand remained firm at the back of his head, encouraging him to continue. Sekirei didn’t want to stop anyway. He liked the subtle tremors that ran through Masa’s body. He liked the pain, and the fact that Masa was enjoying it even as he softly moaned his discomfort. And most of all, he liked the blood. He couldn’t understand Masa’s self hatred at all. Sekirei had never felt this good in his entire life.

Masa felt his strength draining along with his blood. It was a precarious line he now walked, for at that point Sekirei had the upper hand and there was a real possibility that he could lose all control and overpower Masa. He’d seen it happen before during his years in Ochrynas - New Vampyres losing themselves in their blood lust and killing their Sires. Masa knew the danger. He could sense how close Sekirei was to losing it completely.

“That’s enough Sekirei ...”

The young Vampyre ignored Masa’s murmured words, tightening his arms around his thin torso and continuing to feed. For a few moments Masa lay unobjecting in Sekirei’s arms, his eyes closed, his expression peaceful despite the pain. Then his brow furrowed and he spoke again, louder this time.

“Stop. I said that’s enough. Sekirei!”

There was a surprised moment when Sekirei paused as if suddenly regaining his grip on reality. Then the teeth at Masa’s throat eased up, though the arms that held him didn’t loosen at all.

“Masa?”

Sekirei sounded as lost and confused as he had when he’d stumbled upon Masa feeding in the narrow alley behind the bar several months before. Only this time the sentiments were directed at himself. His green eyes were feverishly bright, his lips and chin stained with blood.

“It’s all right.” Masa spoke gently, paying no heed to the bleeding, ragged gash at his throat as he eased out of Sekirei’s grip and took his hand between both his own. “You need to sleep now. Come on.”

He rose slowly, pulling Sekirei to his feet and leading him across the room to his bed. Sekirei’s manner was almost childlike as he placidly followed Masa and stood patiently while he drew back the blankets, then obediently climbed into bed. His eyes flickered once, twice, then fell closed as he succumbed to a deep sleep.

Masa watched him for a few minutes, wishing some of the peacefulness evident in Sekirei’s expression would transfer itself to him. He felt wretched, like he had committed a terrible betrayal. He told himself this was what Sekirei had wanted. Somehow, it didn’t make him feel any better.