Recollections

Recollections

Scene 1:

A 18 year old girl stands in the middle of a stage with a white floor and a white background. She is dressed entirely in black. She paces from one side of the stage to the other before stopping and turning to face the audience.

Amara: You know what? I’ve realized something. You go through life and live day by day, doing what’s expected of you, yet nothing ever really happens and nothing ever changes.

Amara starts pacing again. Spotlight comes on to illuminate a table at the side of the stage. The table is also black, with a white cloth draped across the top of it.

Amara: See this? (Gestures at table) These items represent my life, or should I say that these represent the remnants of the shattered life I left behind? Part 1 of my life: my birth.

She picks up a rattle and a large pink baby blanket off of the table and shows them to the audience before slinging the baby blanket over her shoulder and starting her pacing again.

Amara: I was born on January 10, 1983 in the middle of a snowstorm so terrible; I’m surprised my mother even made it to the hospital. There I was born a whole two and a half months early, so small that the hope that I’d even live through the night was almost nonexistent. But I lived, somehow and my parents were thrilled; that is until they got me home. See my mom was only 19 when she had me and my father was 22. She’d always assumed that having a baby was great and that it was no trouble at all and my father… well let’s just say that he’d been in no way ready to settle down yet. I was brought home for the first time when I was 3 months old and my mom assumed that I would be kind of like a puppy. That she’d have to feed me and bathe me, but otherwise I’d behave on my own and that I’d sleep through the night. Well I woke up 4 times that night and about that many times every other night for the next 6 months. After the first or so, my mother would have been all to willing to give me back if such a thing were possible. I know this only because of how many times she told me when I growing up. Now by the time I was 9 months old and had actually started, on a general basis to sleep through the night, my father was already gone. 4 months into my life and suddenly he couldn’t “cope” with it anymore. And of course this was all my fault.

She stops for a moment and then throws the baby blanket and rattle off towards the back of the stage, where she ignores them as if they don’t exist. Then she walks back over to the table.

Amara: Now for the next grand moment of my life. This would when I’m 9 and I’m about 2 months into the school year. Now my mom and I have been living with my grandmother for 4 years, long enough for me not to remember living anywhere else. Now, I’m waiting after school one day for my mother and eventually my teacher, whose name I’ve forgotten, takes me to the office and they call my mother’s cell phone and receive no answer. So they end up calling my grandmother, who’s pissed off at having to leave work to come pick me up, but does it anyway. When the next morning rolls around and my mother’s still not home, my grandmother’s has started to threaten my mother under her breath. Then just as were leaving we get a phone call. It seemed as if my father had been injured in a gang fight and my mother had to visit him. But some time during the night he’d died and so my mother had thrown herself into the oncoming traffic of the 401. As much as I hate to say it, I really didn’t miss her because to me, my grandmother was my mother and my mother had been an obnoxious older sister that you wish would disappear and leave you alone. So now, I would live with my grandmother and my mother would never be able to hurt me again.

Amara stops and regards the table silently for a minute before lashing out and kicking it over. Stuff scatters across the floor and there is the sound of glass breaking. She bends down and picks up the table but leaves the stuff where it has fallen. Then she throws the table off screen and looks back down at the scattered items.

Amara: Just like my life. Thrown everywhere, dropped where convenient and broken if necessary.

She shakes her head, throws her arms up over her head and resumes pacing.

Amara: Now the next event would be my first “boyfriend”. I was in Grade 8 and was one of the punk loner’s, that all of the popular people avoided. So when Jack, blond, blue-eyed, gorgeous and one of the most popular people in school, asked me out – how was I t say no? Now for the next few months I was the happiest person alive. I had Jake, I had the grudging acceptance of the popular girls and did I mention I had Jake? Now about 6 months into this relationship, the farthest we had gotten was to second base. I really didn’t feel ready to “go all the way” since I knew that that was how my mother had had me. One night after seeing a movie with Jake, he drives us out to a lookout spot and we start making out. I only realized how far we’d gotten when I felt him trying to take off my skirt. At this point I sat up and told him I wasn’t ready to do this. He just looked at me, shrugged and pinned me down. I don’t remember much past this, since I’m told that I repressed the memory. I do remember a lot of pain, and afterwards, as I was crying I remember him saying “Well what the hell do you think I went out with you for? You’re lucky I held out so long!” He dropped me off at my house and I never saw him again, literally. He was driving recklessly on the highway and a drunk driver driving a bus slammed into the front of the car. I was told that he would have suffered a lot of pain before he finally died, so I’m satisfied in a way. The rule of life: What you do comes back to you three-fold. I’d just say he got what he deserved.

The spotlight widens for a moment to cover everything that was spilled from the table. Amara gets down on her knees and searches for something. She stands up again holding a double picture frame. In one side is a picture of Jake with several slices and burn marks and on the other side is a carefully protected photo of a young man with dark hair and gold eyes.

Amara: Now by the time I reached grade 10 I was still the every present loser that was picked on. The one who dressed all in black, was completely different and “un-cool” from the other people and the one who didn’t give a shit what everyone else thought of her. Now midway into grade 10, my life was continuing as normal until one day in English (my favorite course and the only one I attended regularly) a guy with dark hair and gold eyes, dressed in black and chains walks into the class. We were then told that he was a new student who had just moved here. Before this moment all that crap I had heard about love at first sight, was just that, crap. It had been something that the romantics made up so that they could have the perfect relationship. Or rather it had been until I looked into his eyes. Our eyes locked and we just smiled at each other. When he was given leave to sit down, everyone just assumed he would sit beside me, since we were the only two alike in the class. So he came and sat down and told me his name was Damien. We stayed as just friends for 1 month, 2 weeks and 6 days and yes I have actually counted. One December 13 he came over to study for a mid-term exam with me and a blizzard hit, trapping us in and trapping my grandmother in a hotel. So we made some food, studied a bit and watched a few movies. Then all of a sudden we were making out and then BAM! Suddenly we’re on the couch having sex. It was the most unexpected and totally best moment of my life. From then on we were inseparable, whether at school, at home or anywhere else. We were more than most couples our age. We were more like one person, for without the other I don’t either of us would have survived for long.

Spotlight goes out and screen goes black.


Scene 2:

The spotlight comes on illuminating the opposite side of the stage that Amara had been standing on. Now there is a young man with dark hair and gold eyes, dressed entirely in red standing on stage. He walks forward a few steps and then stops. He sits down, gets up and walks towards the back of the stage where the white background is. Then he turns again to face the audience.

Damien: Now when I first came into Amara’s life, let me say that unstable and in a frail state of mind are the nicest things I can think of saying about her. Of course I knew nothing about her on the day that I first entered her English class (also my favorite class). All I knew then was that she was a Goth/punk like me and when our eyes met across the room, well let’s say that I was struck with cupid’s arrow or something like that. So I went and sat beside her and we started talking during class and then in lunch after that. Seems that we had an amazing amount of things in common. After this, we became exceedingly close friends and people were always surprised if we weren’t together – we even got sick on the same days. I think it was a big help for Amara, now that she had a best friend, someone she could actually trust and someone who was in the same “loner” circle as she was. Now, even I’m not sure why she did this, but about two weeks into our friendship we started to tell each other about our lives. Most of it was stuff like, what our parents did, where we had grown up, etc. but then she went and told me everything, from her dad’s walkout to her mom’s death, to her old boyfriend and the rape. At this point all I felt was sorrow, sorrow that she had had to suffer like this, because deep down I knew she wasn’t a bad person. She didn’t talk to me for a few days after her confession. I think she was waiting for either me to come to terms with it or for me to tell someone else and break her trust like everyone else had in her life. Breaking her trust, however, was the last thing on my mind. I was just so worried about what was going on in her mind that eventually I just went up to her and asked if she was alright, since we hadn’t spoken in a few days. Somehow, it was the right thing to say because she burst out laughing and kept laughing until she collapsed into my arms. I think it was at this point that I started to realize that I wanted more than just a friendship with her and I think she felt that way too, based on the way she suddenly straightened. But also based on everything she had told me the other day, I was gonna keep things in the friendship realm until I was sure she was comfortable. Now, we might as well fast-forward to the day of the blizzard. We were both in the same math class and we were both terrible at it, so we decided to study together to see if we could puzzle any of it out. When I left for her house that day, the clouds were hanging on the horizon in a fairly ominous way, but I figured that all we’d get was a bit of snow. Wrong as usual. The little snow I was expecting soon turned into a lot of snow which turned into even more and effectively trapped us inside the house. Not that I wanted to go anywhere in a record snowstorm with a record temperature of – 54 with a wind-chill. I was happy right where I was. So since we were stuck there, we figured we might as well study some more, until it became pretty clear that the snow wasn’t going to let up and therefore we wouldn’t have an exam the next day, and by then we were lounging on the couch watching a movie. I don’t even remember what it was. I do know that I kept glancing at her out of the corner of my eye and I kept seeing her do the same. Then all of a sudden we were kissing. I don’t know if I moved first or if she did. And then….. well it wasn’t my first time and it TECHNICALLY wasn’t hers, it just seemed then as if we ceased being two people and became one. From then on we had no secrets and we were even more inseparable. I had my own apartment, funded by my parents but now paid by me, and that was generally where we ended up. I’m really not even sure when her grandmother stopped expecting her home and she just came and lived with me. Now we might as well flash forward to the most important part. Now, this happened only a few days ago…

The spotlight on the other side of the stage comes back on, illuminating Amara, now dressed in all black. She walks forward so that she is only a few feet from Damien and then faces the audience.

Amara: A few days ago Damien and I got into our first technical and worst ever fight. I ended up storming out and returning to my grandmother’s house. She was sympathetic, to a point, but the only thing she really said was that I should watch out that I didn’t become like my mother. Well, I’d been home about 20 minutes and already I was forgetting what we had even fought about.

Damien: At this time, all I knew was that I had upset Amara and that I needed to make everything right again.

They both look at each other and smile before returning their attention to the audience.

Amara: He showed up at the door and we both started babbling apologies that didn’t make any sense. We started laughing and everything was alright again. To celebrate we went out to a really fancy restaurant and I ordered some sort of lobster dish. When we got home however, I threw it all back up again. This happened with pretty much anything I ate, so we went to the doctor to see if I’d gotten food poisoning. Well it wasn’t food poisoning, but something else entirely.

Damien: Let’s just say that it was probably the last thing we ever expected to hear, but something that we should have expected.

Amara: I didn’t have food poisoning, and the reason I was throwing up was something much simpler than that. I was pregnant. I was 18 and ½, just out of high school and pregnant. I think it was now that my grandmother’s advice came back to haunt me. I was starting to turn out like mother, but would I end up like her?

Damien: My immediate answer was no. I wouldn’t leave her for anything short of death and there was no way I would let her end up in the same state of mind that her mother had been in.

Amara walks over to the scattered items on the ground and picks up a couple. They are various magazines depicting weddings and baby magazines.

Amara: So now we have a baby on the way, though it’s still several months off. We decided that we might as well make ourselves a complete family and get married. He proposed and I accepted and here we are. My daughter should be born in 6 months and we should live happily ever after.
T
he lights go out on stage, leaving the stage in complete darkness. Suddenly there is a small whisper of wind followed by several moments of silence before Amara’s voice drifts out once more.

Amara: After all, the Fates are generally kind to those who deserve it most and they deal out what everyone deserves... whether you try to run from it or not...

~The End~