Addiction

It's only a update because the former version spoiled a little bit the upcoming novel. :)

At first some words to this one-shot. It's part of a novel I am working on since a long time. That's why this one-shot has a plot, really! My plans are to post the novel in english, but english is not my motherlanguage, so I need time.
Why do I post this now? Well, I need to know if I have enough talent to post my novel openly. I hesitated a long time but I think I can't hide behind my fears any longer.
Please tell me what you are thinking! It's really important for me. And if you can't review because you are not signed in, so please tell me your thoughts per mail.


Addiction

Although a sharp blade on my throat threatened my life, I didn’t make any attempt to free me from the assaulter. The room was shadowed in darkness; nevertheless, I sensed his identity, felt the familiar breath, and smelled the familiar lust. What ever the reason for his presence might be, I was determined to suffer it willingly. Too many nights I had waited for him, had waited for this, for his vengeance and for this pain to end. Ever since the last time I had seen his hauntingly beautiful eyes, ablaze with pure hatred, no more sleep would embrace me for oblivion. My mind was flooded with tormenting pictures every night, left me soaked in cold sweat and anguish, and I couldn’t stand it any longer.

Now he had come. I had known he would, because his last gaze had told me so. However, I didn’t know, if another sunrise would come for me as well. He was angry, though perfectly controlled. Until now, the only threatening thing he did was to press a cold, frightening blade to my throat and to let me feel his smouldering anger. Strong thighs were clenching my hips hard and unforgivable. I swallowed the growing despair. I knew there was no chance to seek mercy and even if anybody could hear me, I wouldn’t scream for help. I believed to deserve this!

His lean body shifted down, pressed itself full-length on me, but the blade wasn’t even quivering. He was a predator! Once again, his skills left me impressed and something else was crawling up my skin, too. Instantly I prayed he wouldn’t notice. It was so humiliating to become aroused in such a situation. But I was cursed. A smirk revealed he was aware of my unavoidable attraction to him. Supported on one elbow, he pulled away the bed sheet with a swift motion. No longer was my nude body shielded from the sheer masculinity he harboured, he always dominated me with. When the rough clothing rubbed over the sensitive skin, a deep groan shattered the silence. His suede-clad cock ground mischievously against mine, and my body arched inevitable in his embrace. I could vividly feel he was as hard as I was. From his body emerged such a heat in which I wanted to burn willingly. By long, every thought of shame was erased. I didn’t care that I became vulnerable to his mocking glare. But in spite of his own excitement, the blade never harmed me, no blood trickled down my neck. Every time I snapped my hips against the tempting groin, my back lifted from the bed or I tossed my head on the pillow, the dagger followed every movement.

However, he hadn’t come to love me, but to punish me, and yet he had to speak. When he did, I shuddered at his voice so adamant, so unforgivable and so merciless.

“Spread your legs, traitor!”

Maddening desire poured down on me and raced through every single vein. Our breath sounded heavy in the silence, was soaked equally with passion and hatred. We hated each other as passionately as we loved each other.

“Please, not like this!” I begged with voice strained from desire and despair to avoid this. Nevertheless how guilty I was in his eyes, once we had vowed never to soil our love by using it like a weapon. It was obvious to me that he was driven by fury, though passion was not violence. I didn’t want him brutal, but rather impassioned. And despite the circumstances, I knew he wanted the same, or else he would have bound my hands to immobilize my body. Without to seek permission I let my fingers travel over his sensuous form. They kneaded strong thighs, caressed a firm bottom and stroked over the well toned back. Moaning I enjoyed the tremors, which coursed through my whole being when I felt the sinewy muscles in his lithe body – a hunting beast. Always he has been the stronger one of us, maybe not physically but with his willpower, and to that dominance I had yielded eagerly, nearly every time. My hands grabbed the thick, braided rope of midnight hair on his back and tore it apart till the long, silky, and from me so loved strands infolded us completely. With utter satisfaction, my fingers sank into the silky sea. Neglecting the sharp weapon, I raised my lips to his non-responding mouth, bit that delicate skin und licked around its shape. Slowly the luscious being became soft and pliable under my kiss, until my persistent tongue could delve into the hot, wet cavern eventually, to stroke against the sleek muscle. It seemed to me like eternities that we followed the duel, but finally he fisted my golden tresses, pulled back my head harshly and glared at me with searing eyes.

„Open that mouth of yours!” he demanded hot-tempered and panted hard all over my face, betraying his faltering control. The dagger blade was pressed against my larynx, unnecessary so, because I parted my lips without hesitation and dipped my head further back. I knew so well, in which position he wanted me to be and what he would give to me. For a split second, his mouth hovered over mine and the next moment I felt his saliva trickle deep into my throat. Shamelessly I moaned with pleasure and would it have been possible my already painfully swollen cock would have become even harder. I felt it twitching when faced with such an assault of unrestrained lust.

“Swallow it!”

Of course, I obeyed that order, too, and immediately groaned in protest as a sharp pain was delivered to my neck. The blade had left its mark inevitably. I trusted it was only a warning of his, nothing life threatening. With a devious smile, he whispered near my lips, “And now, open my trousers and spread these thighs of yours!”

I started to protest but was hushed by the dagger pressing firmer against my throat.

“You can beg and plead how much you want to, but in the end you have no choice – just as little as they had had!”
Truly, this silenced me. Inwardly I was torn from his hate and my guilt. Only the entities were aware of how much I craved his understanding and forgiveness, but I knew he never would listen to me. Ashamed I closed my eyes, trying to hide the hot tears, which threatened to flow. I never could give into them, didn’t dare to let him see! Weakness was something he never was able to excuse. I entangled my hands from the cooling hair and untied his trousers with unsteady fingers. Hot pressed his flesh against my skin and I didn’t hesitate to stroke the silky hardness. Shivers were running through his body and for a short moment, his head dropped near mine on the pillow. His pants came jerkily and unmastered. I was pleased that I could affect him like that with a single touch. I swallowed my own pride and parted my legs wide for him, savoured the even more intimate contact. With my left hand, I stroked the demanding cock faster and harder, and the fingers of my right, instinctively to wet them, I brought to my lips. Instantly his head shot up with an unexpected wildness.

“Don’t!”

“But I’m not …!” My voice was strangled from shame, I couldn’t speak further more.

“… prepared, stretched?” he finished my words, and it was that undisguised taunt, which startled me from my submissive behaviour, aroused my own anger. He hadn’t come as a lover! Why should I yield to this? Maybe I wasn’t free from guilt, but it was not my fault how they had had to die. Probably the rising defiance had appeared in my eyes, because the dagger licked at my throat sharper, bolder, more harmful and one of the elegant black brows rose in an arrogant, sneering manner. I stemmed my hands against his shoulders, ready to push him off me.

“Don’t let it come to this!” he warned me and the hard grip at the back of my head tightened painfully.

“I prefer the death from a blade to this desecration!”

“They couldn’t choose the way of their death. Don’t you think they would have preferred the death on a battlefield as well?”

In my mind, I was raging against his unfairness and I showed him through my eyes. I was looking for a tad good will, but all I saw was the deep hurt of betrayal and again I admitted my guilt. After a short reliving of the past events, I breathed deeply and surrendered to him completely, surrendered to the oncoming ordeal. I forced one hand down his body, right up to the other rigid weapon, he was skilled to wield even more precise than the one at my neck. Desperately I used the precum to lube his cock minimally, before I guided it to my overly tensed opening. I knew I should relax, I knew I should give in, I knew I should open my legs wider, I knew I should slow my breath, I knew that all, but I wasn’t able to. We had done it like that countless times; we always had preferred this to tender caresses, but at that very moment, I simply felt awkward, almost virginal. At the first sign of lifting his hips, I clawed my fingers instinctively into the bare skin at his waist. Then he rammed in me with unrestrained vehemence, not full-length, but enough to stretch me unbearably, enough to tear the skin, enough to make me bleed. Pain ripped through me with unknown force, bashed its claws into my abdomen and travelled like searing fire up my spine. All I could do was screaming into his mouth. Months had elapsed since last I had felt him in me and my body cried in anguish against such a ruthless invasion. When I counted on him to do it hasty, loveless or even cruel, so I was wrong. He was determined to let me feel every inch of his large, relentless cock, urged it slowly deeper while he was drinking eagerly my whimpers and paralyzed me with a single fiery look. When I closed my eyes, his grip in my hair would force me to open them again. I knew that he savoured what he was able to read on my face and in my eyes – blending pain as well as my absolute devotedness. Finally, finally he ceased his movements; let me get used to the pain; dipped my head back to caress me with the cold blade. I thought at that moment, never before he was so deep in me, likewise in my body, my mind and my soul.

After the pain had died down to a dull throbbing, I sensed other things also. My fingers were soaked with his blood; my thighs were dampened with my blood. Involuntary my hands wandered to the insides, gathered there the tribute of our reunion only to moisten his lips with it. He didn’t hesitate to suck my fingers into his mouth and I mirrored this strange ritual with the other hand for myself. With a following deep kiss, our blood mingled anew.

“Please,” I whispered breathlessly and with a helpless arching, I begged him to show me how much I belonged to him. Equally, I cursed and relished his long, deep and steady thrusts, with which he conducted my lust. I hated losing control while he was using my desire with cool calculation. The pain was not more than a mere echo of fire, because he didn’t withheld me pleasure. Repeatedly he brushed forcefully the hidden gland within me, and my senses burst in tiny, needle-sharp crystals all over my inner skin. Moaning I arched my body into the embrace and desperately tugged on his clothes. I needed him bare like I was, wanted to taste his lust and feel his burning heat on my skin. I didn’t care that I shredded his tunic, and he didn’t fend me off. After what seemed endless moments he quickened the agonizing delicious rhythm. His breath sounded harsh and pressed, as if he loathed the whole act, but in me was raging the evidence of his desire.

Finally, he surrendered to his own desperate needs by removing the dagger from my neck and trashing it deep into the mattress. My nails were scratching all over his body; I wouldn’t be the only one marked from that fiery encounter, and he cherished my utter lack of self control, asked for it, all the same I provoked his fury and submitted wholeheartedly to his domination. Slowly he pulled himself to the knees, by doing so our glistening and heated skin glided sensuously against each other. Strong arms pressed my sweaty thighs to my chest and I clutched at them to raising my legs even higher, open up vulnerably to his gaze. With hungry eyes, he was watching his own cock driving harder, wilder and deeper into my opening and then, with a triumphal snarl, he was throwing back that arrogant head, so that his hair tumbled around his frame like an emerald-coloured night. As always, his stunning appearance caught my breath and dreadful regret about our break-off flared up inside of me. However, there was no chance to dwell on painful thoughts when he grabbed my twitching cock with one hand while the other clung to my hip. It was a sensual shock to feel his cool fingers stroking hard my heated flesh. Simultaneous with his deep thrusts he forced me to a breathtaking orgasm. To feel his hot seed flooding me and strangely soothing my wounds pushed me to utter completion. Every single muscle clenched when faced with such blinding lust roaring through my body. I knew I screamed but I didn’t hear me. In my mind, nothing else existed but the ecstasy, shredding me to myriads of stars, and his presence, which never would release me from my self-imposed prison.

There and then, forgotten was his hatred and pushed away my guilt, we were what we had been at all times and always would be - soulmates, who were bound to each other in ardent hate as well as in deep devotion.