And He's A Cop (Poem)

I'm fatally torn inside.
I'm bleeding to death.
You only see my clean outside.
Can't you see my painfully drawn breath?

I'm silent in the car as we cheerfully drive home.
Your mouth is running again with false concern...
Your eyes...Oh God...your eyes are sharp black stones.
The fresh welts suddenly again burn.

The rock on my finger binds me to you.
Closer than I want to be.
Me in fetus position,not safe in mother's womb.
Vulnerable,in the open,my heart stripped bare...never free.

As you crush my hand...My soul,a little more,is crumbling.
You turn on the charm,from your eyes...
tears like a waterfall.
Your road is riddled with cracks of rage... and i'm stumbling.
One more explosion and I will shatter like a porcelain doll.

The thought of flirting with death flies across my mind...
No...I'm not that brave.
Let me go! You will never be that kind.
You are personally digging my grave.

Consummation every night with you.
You're Hell with falsely loving arms.
Dry painful friction and sword thrusts between my shaking legs.
Loud,muffled screams of pain,not pleasure... echo off the thin walls.

The harsh,glaring lights of the immaculate kitchen...
Reflect off of my face...my battered,desperate face.
"I love you",you say each time...I now recognize the deathly lie.
My strings in your fists...In your eyes,me running without grace.

Hope almost fizzled out in my now dull eyes.
Something started to grow inside me years ago...
A tiny seed in my soul.
Now a roiling,seething mass of hatred...covered in flies.
To escape your touch is my goal.

So...what will I do?
I've been cornered into your company...and you are a monster!
So...what will you think I would do to you?
You aren't worth killing...
Your soul is trash,your body...a slimy dumpster.

I finally escape your house...
All broken and bloody from the night before.
I drive carefully to a police station,that is not yours,far away and I stop.
I stumble and crawl into the authoritative place...
Shock and rage on all faces...I whisper...
"Help me...My husband is killing me...
And He's a cop."