Life

Warning – Mature content, bad language, death.

The story has not been BETAed.

This story and character are original. Some of the sentences may have come from famous sayings and the idea of the orphanage came from different animes I have seen.
POV for now...
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Life

….Who am I? Why do I exist?..... Does it really matter if I live or die?..... Thinking is not helping at the moment …. Depressing …. Without any meaning . ….. life is confusing ….. and the beginning of everything …

…………My first memories are from my early childhood…. I grew up in an orphanage, I was thrown out of there and grew up on the streets, by the time I was ten years old I have already tasted my fair share of violence. Orphanages are not the best place for a child to live….living on the streets is even worse….but what does not kill you will make you strong……. Blessed are the people who have known the kindness of a mother, the discipline of a father, concern of a brother, disagreements with a sister …. For I have not known any of them ….

I have come to know power, fear, terror, desire but have never known kindness, compassion, and love….. for me these feelings are foreign ….
…..Hmmm….Let me think …. The first time I got my hands bloody was when I was nine years old …. I wanted revenge and revenge is what I got ….. what they say eye for eye, tooth for tooth……

…..Flings, one night stands I had plenty……. Relationships …. I know not what the word mean ….. do I what one? … too late for that now …..
….. Even though I never knew a normal life …. I am grateful for the one I have ….. even though my life was hard ….. I am pathetic …. Ha ha ha …. I am getting soft …….. regardless, of all the blood on my hands and the life I have, I never took a life of a person who did not deserve it…..innocence…..there are no true innocent people….

Am I going to Paradise or Hell? …… What is the meaning of my life? ….. So many questions ……not enough answers ….. who is going to answer my questions ……maybe….I will have to wait and see for myself….…….feels like hours have passed since I came in to the room ….how long has it been….I don’t know…..
The pain is too much….the feel of pain make me aware that I am still alive……not…for long…I have the feeling……

…..Finally I am able to open my eyes and look around me …..how did I get here?....and where is here?.....the pain….too much…I look around me and see the bleak walls….paint is falling off the walls….there is holes on the walls….the floor boards are broken….and very uncomfortable to lay on….I look around and know that this is where everything will end…..they say you can take the kid of the streets but can never the streets out of the kid…..
I do not ask for forgiveness for I shall be given none…..I used many excuses during the years to justify my actions……no more…..

……………so this is how everything ends….in a dirty God forsaken room…..in middle of nowhere…..the pain is overwhelming now…..my eyesight gets blurry…..my vision grayish…..coughing blood….hole in my stomach…..ha ha ha…I will just close my eyes for a second….I need to rest …..just…for….seco…nd……..I….will….se…e…you….in…he..e..ll……..hhh


--------------------------------------------The end?-----------------------------------------------------
Or is it the beginning…………



A/N: Hi everyone, this is my first fiction. I have no idea what I am doing hehehe
No, it is not that. I had an idea for the fiction for so long and never got a chance to actually put it in writing. I am sorry for the spelling mistakes and the grammar, English is my second language. This is more like the ending of the fiction and maybe if I get some more free time I will be able to write down the whole story. For now this story will be one shot. Reviews are welcome