AFF Fiction Portal

Mocking the Suicide Note

By: anthrop
folder Angst › General
Rating: Adult +
Chapters: 1
Views: 680
Reviews: 0
Recommended: 0
Currently Reading: 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.

Mocking the Suicide Note

Mocking the Suicide Note

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Words don’t last forever
I don’t understand why I try
To preserve myself in this ether
When I’m only going to die.

All the lights have gone out
I’m all alone in this quiet room
I really want to scream and shout
To lift this cold unhappy gloom

This computer screen is blinding
The images have decided to blur
This damn music is beating
And I am caught upon a deadly lure

Thoughts of suicide walking lightly
In a mind too puzzled to breathe
I’m too stupid to think slightly
I just want to get up and leave

I’m always so wasted
But I can never sleep
My life feels so overrated
I’d love to float into the deep

The only words that can survive
Through the static of insomniatic insanity
“Why bother now, just expose the lie”
And I find myself struggling with reality

Thoughts of suicide
Brought about by overexposure
Of fictitious homicide
Locked away in unblinking enclosure

I understand this is stupid
I have so much to live for
But I can’t help but feel intrepid
By contemplating this steel-plated door

Yet I won’t bother finding the key
Too messy; too bothersome
I think I’ll just wait and see
While breathing an innocent little hum

Can I make it through just one more day?
Another moment of sullen resignation?
Stop being so emotionally fey
Stop thinking of “eternal termination”?

Just stop typing; you’re done
Stop this fucking mess
You’re not tricking anyone
Just turn it off and go get dressed

As if you’ve got to balls to try it anyway

So shut up

Pretend to sleep for now

And when the sun comes up

Pretend you never wrote this

And keep on smiling

Until tomorrow night

When this... starts all over again.


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Just working through a sudden angst beast that decided to invade my sleepy little brain at two a.m.

Ta.