Love's Silhouette
folder
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
Views:
789
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
Views:
789
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Love's Silhouette
Love’s Silhouette
By Desired Completion
Chapter 1: Seeking
Joshua is a deeply wounded man in desperate need of comfort and guidance. When he finally finds the things he craves in an old friend, a dangerous attraction forms that complicates everything.
A/n: Hi there everyone! I wrote a few chapters of Love’s Silhouette approximately two years ago, long before I had heard of AdultFanFiction. If an interest is shown, I will post more of my written chapters and possibly even consider adding more to the story. Thank you for reading! Also: (THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!) Please note that first person character perspectives will change frequently throughout the course of the story; I just thought I would clarify as to avoid any confusion.
*****
I stared at the ceiling. There were sixty three tiles, not one more and not one less. I would know. This was, after all, the fifth time I’d counted. Pulling my blanket over my head, I tried once more to fall asleep. I hated the way my memories haunted me. It was my most sought after desire to simply forget them. I can still remember, to this exact day, that raw pain that fills you when someone finds a way to destroy you from the inside out and break everything you hold to. I was shaking now, beginning to wonder how I’d gotten myself to into such a predicament. Small but powerful tremors passed through my body now. The ill-timed blend of pain and confusion was beginning to take its toll.
A soft knock bestowed itself upon my door. Of course it was him. Aiden. He was the person I feared seeing most yet at the same needed to see more than anyone. I tried to bring to a halt to my quivering, to hold it all inside, but as always he could see right through me. It was one of his many talents, and truly a mixed blessing for someone such as me. I could barely spot his hand protruding in the dark as it cautiously reached out to cradle my chin. His touch was gentle and soft, not at all what you would expect from a man who carried such a quiet yet distinguishable power. I closed my eyes, blocking the view before me. If I wasn’t forced to look at him, it would give me a far greater chance of being able to actually comprehend the situation clearly. “Are you okay, Joshua?” he asked me. I was afraid of answering, afraid I would give him reason to leave. “Joshua? Can you hear me?” I opened my eyes.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m just...tired, that’s all. I’ve been trying to sleep but I’ve got so much on my mind, you know? I c-can’t seem to…” He nodded, ignoring my obviously dishonest explanation. Removing his hand from my face and placing it upon my shoulde r, he inquired further.
“You’re shaking. You look afraid. Is it something you can tell me, or do you just want me to leave you alone?” he asked. I could feel my distress grow at the thought. Solitude was not a thing I craved at the moment.
“No!” …I winced. I had replied too quickly and too surely. I was so afraid of what he would think of me.
“Alright then,” his answer came, nearly inaudible but there all the same. He didn’t react as I had feared he would, but rather did the most unexpected, yet most desired thing he could do. A tiny grin spread across his face as he enfolded my frame within his arms. “You’re still shaking.” His compassion moved me. There was a good amount of distance between us, too much and too little at the same time. The barrier I’d been sure to build around myself was slowly dissolving, suppressed tears beginning to form in the corners of my eyes. I moved my head away from his shoulder, pressing it against his chest and out of his view. As much as I feared him questioning the obtrusive movement, I feared exposing my weakness to him more. My efforts to hide my tears were ineffective. His arms pulled tighter, gripping me to him. A hand began to trace small circles on my back. I returned his embrace and threw my arms around his petite waist. Irrepressible sobs I could no longer manage were heard throughout the room. “It’s okay…I’m here,” he whispered, comforting me. The thoughts that filled my mind were growing beyond what I could cope with. I was reliving a horror and trying to exist in a difficult present at the same time. His hands continued to move up and down my bare back as he rested his chin atop my head. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. If you’re ready, that is,” he whispered. I wanted to tell him-no-needed to tell him of the terrors that plagued my mind. I kept my gaze fixed downward, fearful of any eye contact with him. I was about confront my heaviest fear at the time head on.
“Aiden…I…two months ago…someone…he…oh God, it hurts.” I sobbed aloud once more as he held me, waiting with patience for me to go on. I made a few vain attempts to steady my breathing prior to going on. “Aiden, two months ago a man I met…he was just a stranger…” Silence lingered uncomfortably between us. Calmly, he continued to listen and wait. “I can’t remember what I…I c-can’t…it was at a bar, and I was kind of…really…he wanted to take me back to his home. I don’t remember what it was that made me comply. I…but when I got there, h-he…held me down and…Aiden please don’t make me finish,” I pleaded with him, although further explanation was hardly necessary. The amount of will it had required for me to speak that much was plenty. Aiden pulled me as close to him as he could.
“I’m so sorry Joshua…I’m sorry for the pain you’ve felt, I’m sorry you have to carry it with you.” I couldn’t finish. I couldn’t look him in the eyes either. There is no time I can recall in my life where I was as ashamed as I was at that moment. I felt pathetic. Here I was, a grown man, reduced to tears and collapsed in the arms of another man. My lack of strength and vulnerability had torn me down. His hand reached out to cup my face once more. Against my will, he lifted my weary, tear-stained eyes to face his. I was both surprised and frightened by the gesture. With his other hand he began working at my tears, wiping each one from my face. I secretly despised myself for loving his touch, but accepted it thankfully nonetheless. He was capable of bringing me comfort beyond any other person I knew. “Joshua…” I felt a slight shiver pass through my body at the sound of his voice, speaking my name aloud. He released me from the reassuring embrace before allowing me to lean back until I rested flat atop the bed. Brief moments passed as he gazed at me uncertainly, almost as if searching for something. As he laid down next to me, I resented every inch that separated my body from his. “If it’s alright with you, I think I’ll sleep here with you. Would you be alright with that?” he asked. I nodded, and then for the first time all day, smiled.
*****
When I awoke, his body was still next to mine. I watched him sleep, the man who I cared so deeply for. I was beginning to recall the events from the previous night. My mind was overwhelmed, but it didn’t matter at the moment. Joshua was there. He gave me a sense of stability and serenity that overrode my doubts and confusion. Our entire relationship underwent immense changes following that night that I held him.
I reached for his hand and took it in mine. I loved the way his skin felt. It was dark and beautiful; I wished I had skin like that. Even as the pale moonlight shone on us, you could see how light my own was in contrast. The room was still relatively dark, but the approaching dawn gave everything a considerably lighter shade. My heart began to pound rapidly for fear he would awake. Lord knew the last thing he needed was another factor in his life to take change. I felt as though he relied on me as a constant in his life. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea for me to sleep with him. Maybe it was just too tempting. I, filled with tenderness and ache at the same time, continued to watch him sleeping. I saw myself in him, in the way he flinched in his sleep, trying to forget despite how useless his attempts were. I wondered, was it the wounded places deep inside people that sought one another out? Was that what formed the deep connection that lie between us? He moved. I jumped. My hand quickly moved back upon my lap where it had been, where it belonged. Certain guilt filled me. All I had done was hold his hand, but I wanted more.
*****
To be continued…
By Desired Completion
Chapter 1: Seeking
Joshua is a deeply wounded man in desperate need of comfort and guidance. When he finally finds the things he craves in an old friend, a dangerous attraction forms that complicates everything.
A/n: Hi there everyone! I wrote a few chapters of Love’s Silhouette approximately two years ago, long before I had heard of AdultFanFiction. If an interest is shown, I will post more of my written chapters and possibly even consider adding more to the story. Thank you for reading! Also: (THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!) Please note that first person character perspectives will change frequently throughout the course of the story; I just thought I would clarify as to avoid any confusion.
*****
I stared at the ceiling. There were sixty three tiles, not one more and not one less. I would know. This was, after all, the fifth time I’d counted. Pulling my blanket over my head, I tried once more to fall asleep. I hated the way my memories haunted me. It was my most sought after desire to simply forget them. I can still remember, to this exact day, that raw pain that fills you when someone finds a way to destroy you from the inside out and break everything you hold to. I was shaking now, beginning to wonder how I’d gotten myself to into such a predicament. Small but powerful tremors passed through my body now. The ill-timed blend of pain and confusion was beginning to take its toll.
A soft knock bestowed itself upon my door. Of course it was him. Aiden. He was the person I feared seeing most yet at the same needed to see more than anyone. I tried to bring to a halt to my quivering, to hold it all inside, but as always he could see right through me. It was one of his many talents, and truly a mixed blessing for someone such as me. I could barely spot his hand protruding in the dark as it cautiously reached out to cradle my chin. His touch was gentle and soft, not at all what you would expect from a man who carried such a quiet yet distinguishable power. I closed my eyes, blocking the view before me. If I wasn’t forced to look at him, it would give me a far greater chance of being able to actually comprehend the situation clearly. “Are you okay, Joshua?” he asked me. I was afraid of answering, afraid I would give him reason to leave. “Joshua? Can you hear me?” I opened my eyes.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m just...tired, that’s all. I’ve been trying to sleep but I’ve got so much on my mind, you know? I c-can’t seem to…” He nodded, ignoring my obviously dishonest explanation. Removing his hand from my face and placing it upon my shoulde r, he inquired further.
“You’re shaking. You look afraid. Is it something you can tell me, or do you just want me to leave you alone?” he asked. I could feel my distress grow at the thought. Solitude was not a thing I craved at the moment.
“No!” …I winced. I had replied too quickly and too surely. I was so afraid of what he would think of me.
“Alright then,” his answer came, nearly inaudible but there all the same. He didn’t react as I had feared he would, but rather did the most unexpected, yet most desired thing he could do. A tiny grin spread across his face as he enfolded my frame within his arms. “You’re still shaking.” His compassion moved me. There was a good amount of distance between us, too much and too little at the same time. The barrier I’d been sure to build around myself was slowly dissolving, suppressed tears beginning to form in the corners of my eyes. I moved my head away from his shoulder, pressing it against his chest and out of his view. As much as I feared him questioning the obtrusive movement, I feared exposing my weakness to him more. My efforts to hide my tears were ineffective. His arms pulled tighter, gripping me to him. A hand began to trace small circles on my back. I returned his embrace and threw my arms around his petite waist. Irrepressible sobs I could no longer manage were heard throughout the room. “It’s okay…I’m here,” he whispered, comforting me. The thoughts that filled my mind were growing beyond what I could cope with. I was reliving a horror and trying to exist in a difficult present at the same time. His hands continued to move up and down my bare back as he rested his chin atop my head. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. If you’re ready, that is,” he whispered. I wanted to tell him-no-needed to tell him of the terrors that plagued my mind. I kept my gaze fixed downward, fearful of any eye contact with him. I was about confront my heaviest fear at the time head on.
“Aiden…I…two months ago…someone…he…oh God, it hurts.” I sobbed aloud once more as he held me, waiting with patience for me to go on. I made a few vain attempts to steady my breathing prior to going on. “Aiden, two months ago a man I met…he was just a stranger…” Silence lingered uncomfortably between us. Calmly, he continued to listen and wait. “I can’t remember what I…I c-can’t…it was at a bar, and I was kind of…really…he wanted to take me back to his home. I don’t remember what it was that made me comply. I…but when I got there, h-he…held me down and…Aiden please don’t make me finish,” I pleaded with him, although further explanation was hardly necessary. The amount of will it had required for me to speak that much was plenty. Aiden pulled me as close to him as he could.
“I’m so sorry Joshua…I’m sorry for the pain you’ve felt, I’m sorry you have to carry it with you.” I couldn’t finish. I couldn’t look him in the eyes either. There is no time I can recall in my life where I was as ashamed as I was at that moment. I felt pathetic. Here I was, a grown man, reduced to tears and collapsed in the arms of another man. My lack of strength and vulnerability had torn me down. His hand reached out to cup my face once more. Against my will, he lifted my weary, tear-stained eyes to face his. I was both surprised and frightened by the gesture. With his other hand he began working at my tears, wiping each one from my face. I secretly despised myself for loving his touch, but accepted it thankfully nonetheless. He was capable of bringing me comfort beyond any other person I knew. “Joshua…” I felt a slight shiver pass through my body at the sound of his voice, speaking my name aloud. He released me from the reassuring embrace before allowing me to lean back until I rested flat atop the bed. Brief moments passed as he gazed at me uncertainly, almost as if searching for something. As he laid down next to me, I resented every inch that separated my body from his. “If it’s alright with you, I think I’ll sleep here with you. Would you be alright with that?” he asked. I nodded, and then for the first time all day, smiled.
*****
When I awoke, his body was still next to mine. I watched him sleep, the man who I cared so deeply for. I was beginning to recall the events from the previous night. My mind was overwhelmed, but it didn’t matter at the moment. Joshua was there. He gave me a sense of stability and serenity that overrode my doubts and confusion. Our entire relationship underwent immense changes following that night that I held him.
I reached for his hand and took it in mine. I loved the way his skin felt. It was dark and beautiful; I wished I had skin like that. Even as the pale moonlight shone on us, you could see how light my own was in contrast. The room was still relatively dark, but the approaching dawn gave everything a considerably lighter shade. My heart began to pound rapidly for fear he would awake. Lord knew the last thing he needed was another factor in his life to take change. I felt as though he relied on me as a constant in his life. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea for me to sleep with him. Maybe it was just too tempting. I, filled with tenderness and ache at the same time, continued to watch him sleeping. I saw myself in him, in the way he flinched in his sleep, trying to forget despite how useless his attempts were. I wondered, was it the wounded places deep inside people that sought one another out? Was that what formed the deep connection that lie between us? He moved. I jumped. My hand quickly moved back upon my lap where it had been, where it belonged. Certain guilt filled me. All I had done was hold his hand, but I wanted more.
*****
To be continued…