Crying on the Inside
folder
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
688
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
688
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Crying on the Inside
A/N: Ok guys, here’s the other side of the story. Hope you guys all enjoy it. Please read and review.
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Katie sat on her bed, waiting nervously for the knock that might never come. Why would it? She hadn’t seen Stephen in a year. Why would he suddenly drop everything to rush over here?
Because he always does, she thought to herself. He always comes whenever I ask him to. For some reason, that thought brought Katie great comfort.
At that moment, she heard the knock. Smiling slightly, she told him to come in, though she made no move to greet him. She heard his footsteps as he crossed her living room to the picture window. She silently moved to the door of her bedroom and pushed it open just a crack. He was staring out of the window, obviously lost in thought. Katie let her mind drift back to her senior year of high school.
The first time she had seen him, she hadn’t really given him a second thought. He was just another immature freshman. She had more important things to worry about. She tried her best to ignore him that year, though that was difficult with him following her like a little lost puppy. But she didn’t have time to deal with freshman admirers. Not that she could have dated him even if she had wanted to. Her mother would never allow it, much less her insane stepfather. She was his, after all, and no other man’s. The thought made Katie shudder even now, years later. She still couldn’t believe that her mother had been so blind all those years. How could you not notice that your husband is both sexually and physically abusing your only child? Katie almost cried just thinking about it, but she willed the tears away. It was not the time for self-pity.
Katie thought back to her graduation. She had been so happy, mostly because it meant she would soon be moving out of the house. She had jumped at the chance to live on campus, even though her college was close to home. Unfortunately, that summer, her stepfather decided to grace her with enough attention to last for the entire time she’d be gone. Katie was wary of going out of the house, in case someone saw the bruises and started asking questions. She knew that she would never be able to tell anyone what was going on. She had tried in the past, to no avail. That was most likely because her stepfather was a cop and the other cops always took his side. So Katie sat in front of her computer every day for hours on end. Her computer was her only connection to the outside world. That’s when Stephen contacted her online. She had never really talked to him much before but she jumped at the chance to talk to anyone who didn’t want to hurt her.
Katie quickly found out just how much Stephen cared for her, and found solace in his soothing, gentle, affectionate words. The pain she felt began to ease after talking with him for awhile, so she decided to start meeting him in person. She was truly happy when she was with him. She was glad for once that her college was close to home, since she would be able to come home to see him on weekends and holidays.
Katie was very nervous about their first time. Her stepfather always tried to be overly affectionate during sex and Katie was afraid of the same thing happening to her. She didn’t want to hear “I love you” from Stephen. She didn’t want to be reminded of the man who could beat her one minute and kiss her senseless the next. So she decided to change it up a bit. She tested Stephen’s loyalty with those handcuffs, it was true, but she also gave him an excuse to leave her and move on with his life. She showed him just how twisted and messed up she really was and gave him an excuse to just walk away. Maybe, deep down, she even wanted him to walk away.
But he didn’t. He accepted every kinky thing she threw at him and even seemed to enjoy it. She thought about asking him why he went along with everything, but she could predict his answer.
As long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter. I care about you and I’m not going to leave you because of this.
She could just picture the look on his face when he would say that. It made her happy to think that he felt that way about her, but it frightened her, too. Katie was afraid of people getting too close to her. And since Stephen wouldn’t back off, she had to do it herself. She became increasingly distant, only contacting him every few months. For some reason, she couldn’t seem to let go completely. She tried everything she could to try and shake him from her, but a part of her always broke down and sent him another invitation. She had thought that she had finally gotten over him this time, but she had hesitated at the last minute and sent him her final note. She was moving out of state for her first real job, but she couldn’t leave without seeing him one last time. So now he was back here in her living room after a year, though it seemed like only yesterday that he was last here.
Shaking herself out of her reverie, Katie quietly opened the door the rest of the way and padded across the living room to greet her guest. She was determined to just enjoy this night as much as possible. She even had a special surprise set up in the bedroom. She smirked to herself at the thought of how Stephen would react to the video camera. Oh yes, she thought. This will be a night to remember.
And indeed it was. As she lay there next to him in the early hours of the morning, she sighed contentedly. He had not disappointed her. He was still as eager as ever to please her, putting her needs and desires before his own. She was a bit repentant, as she always was after one of these little sessions, but she pushed that thought away. She got up, showered, changed, and started to leave the apartment, but she caught sight of the video camera. She pulled the tape out of the camera, scribbled a note, and attached it to the tape. She left it on the counter where he would be sure to notice it. Then she left the apartment.
She had a few hours before the movers were scheduled to show up to collect her furniture and she wanted to give Stephen time to vacate the apartment before she returned. She didn’t want to face him one more time. She decided to stop by her favorite little coffee shop for some breakfast.
Katie sat at a little round table near one of the shop’s large windows. She gazed out of the window thoughtfully before she locked eyes with her own reflection. She studied herself in the window for a moment. She didn’t look much different now than she had when she and Stephen had first met. She was older, that much was obvious. But she still had the same expressionless face. She supposed it came of always having to hide her true feelings behind a mask of ease and happiness. She was still hiding her true feelings. She hadn’t lived at home for years now and her step father hadn’t been able to touch her since she moved out. But she still had pain to hide. Katie might still laugh and smile like she used to. But she was still crying on the inside, too.
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Katie sat on her bed, waiting nervously for the knock that might never come. Why would it? She hadn’t seen Stephen in a year. Why would he suddenly drop everything to rush over here?
Because he always does, she thought to herself. He always comes whenever I ask him to. For some reason, that thought brought Katie great comfort.
At that moment, she heard the knock. Smiling slightly, she told him to come in, though she made no move to greet him. She heard his footsteps as he crossed her living room to the picture window. She silently moved to the door of her bedroom and pushed it open just a crack. He was staring out of the window, obviously lost in thought. Katie let her mind drift back to her senior year of high school.
The first time she had seen him, she hadn’t really given him a second thought. He was just another immature freshman. She had more important things to worry about. She tried her best to ignore him that year, though that was difficult with him following her like a little lost puppy. But she didn’t have time to deal with freshman admirers. Not that she could have dated him even if she had wanted to. Her mother would never allow it, much less her insane stepfather. She was his, after all, and no other man’s. The thought made Katie shudder even now, years later. She still couldn’t believe that her mother had been so blind all those years. How could you not notice that your husband is both sexually and physically abusing your only child? Katie almost cried just thinking about it, but she willed the tears away. It was not the time for self-pity.
Katie thought back to her graduation. She had been so happy, mostly because it meant she would soon be moving out of the house. She had jumped at the chance to live on campus, even though her college was close to home. Unfortunately, that summer, her stepfather decided to grace her with enough attention to last for the entire time she’d be gone. Katie was wary of going out of the house, in case someone saw the bruises and started asking questions. She knew that she would never be able to tell anyone what was going on. She had tried in the past, to no avail. That was most likely because her stepfather was a cop and the other cops always took his side. So Katie sat in front of her computer every day for hours on end. Her computer was her only connection to the outside world. That’s when Stephen contacted her online. She had never really talked to him much before but she jumped at the chance to talk to anyone who didn’t want to hurt her.
Katie quickly found out just how much Stephen cared for her, and found solace in his soothing, gentle, affectionate words. The pain she felt began to ease after talking with him for awhile, so she decided to start meeting him in person. She was truly happy when she was with him. She was glad for once that her college was close to home, since she would be able to come home to see him on weekends and holidays.
Katie was very nervous about their first time. Her stepfather always tried to be overly affectionate during sex and Katie was afraid of the same thing happening to her. She didn’t want to hear “I love you” from Stephen. She didn’t want to be reminded of the man who could beat her one minute and kiss her senseless the next. So she decided to change it up a bit. She tested Stephen’s loyalty with those handcuffs, it was true, but she also gave him an excuse to leave her and move on with his life. She showed him just how twisted and messed up she really was and gave him an excuse to just walk away. Maybe, deep down, she even wanted him to walk away.
But he didn’t. He accepted every kinky thing she threw at him and even seemed to enjoy it. She thought about asking him why he went along with everything, but she could predict his answer.
As long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter. I care about you and I’m not going to leave you because of this.
She could just picture the look on his face when he would say that. It made her happy to think that he felt that way about her, but it frightened her, too. Katie was afraid of people getting too close to her. And since Stephen wouldn’t back off, she had to do it herself. She became increasingly distant, only contacting him every few months. For some reason, she couldn’t seem to let go completely. She tried everything she could to try and shake him from her, but a part of her always broke down and sent him another invitation. She had thought that she had finally gotten over him this time, but she had hesitated at the last minute and sent him her final note. She was moving out of state for her first real job, but she couldn’t leave without seeing him one last time. So now he was back here in her living room after a year, though it seemed like only yesterday that he was last here.
Shaking herself out of her reverie, Katie quietly opened the door the rest of the way and padded across the living room to greet her guest. She was determined to just enjoy this night as much as possible. She even had a special surprise set up in the bedroom. She smirked to herself at the thought of how Stephen would react to the video camera. Oh yes, she thought. This will be a night to remember.
And indeed it was. As she lay there next to him in the early hours of the morning, she sighed contentedly. He had not disappointed her. He was still as eager as ever to please her, putting her needs and desires before his own. She was a bit repentant, as she always was after one of these little sessions, but she pushed that thought away. She got up, showered, changed, and started to leave the apartment, but she caught sight of the video camera. She pulled the tape out of the camera, scribbled a note, and attached it to the tape. She left it on the counter where he would be sure to notice it. Then she left the apartment.
She had a few hours before the movers were scheduled to show up to collect her furniture and she wanted to give Stephen time to vacate the apartment before she returned. She didn’t want to face him one more time. She decided to stop by her favorite little coffee shop for some breakfast.
Katie sat at a little round table near one of the shop’s large windows. She gazed out of the window thoughtfully before she locked eyes with her own reflection. She studied herself in the window for a moment. She didn’t look much different now than she had when she and Stephen had first met. She was older, that much was obvious. But she still had the same expressionless face. She supposed it came of always having to hide her true feelings behind a mask of ease and happiness. She was still hiding her true feelings. She hadn’t lived at home for years now and her step father hadn’t been able to touch her since she moved out. But she still had pain to hide. Katie might still laugh and smile like she used to. But she was still crying on the inside, too.