Love and broken hearts

A/N:

I started writing this story first in Finnish and then translated it in English, so especially the first chapters have more awkward English than the later.

4.24.08 I'm editing, and yes I've removed quite many chapters, why? Because I find this an easier way for myself to edit, should I end up changing some details etc. Anyway, I've been frustrated with the grammar and spelling errors that this story has, I am trying to fix them the best that I can, but I know there still remain some, I hope you'll be patient with me.
And all the chapters are still safe in my homepage for those who want to read them.


*First chapter betad! Thanks to Koira* :)(5.2.2008)

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Chapter 1.

I hate big super markets; I hate them!

I kept walking forward on the chilly corridors of the store, all the while looking around myself; hoping to see a white knitted shirt and brown, sexy, messed up hair…where the hell had he gotten to already?

A couple of older women were walking slowly ahead of me, side by side, pushing their shopping carts in front of them, so that no one could possibly move past them on the corridor. They were talking about some man named Matias, and his bad case of gout. The other one then told her friend about her bad hip and the fear of having a cancer; the doctors didn't do anything about it, thought that she was just overly paranoid; the nerve of them! She said.

‘My god; can you walk any slower!?’ I thought to myself. Though I might have screamed that one out loud because they turned their heads and looked at me in a disapproving manner. Well at least they let me pass them! I heard how they discussed the state of today's youth; always so selfish and rude. Well, if they didn’t always stand in our way, then just maybe we wouldn't have to be rude! Have they ever thought of that? If anyone here was selfish, then I think it was those grannies with hip problems and not I.

I continued my search. Why did these stores have to be so god damn big? Why, God, why??

Finally I found him. Jesse stood in the toy section and studied some teddy bear in his hand. I wondered if he hadn't gotten enough toys as children to play with, since he now seemed to be so interested in them.

“Did you find the cheese?” He asked, smiling once he saw me.

“Well yeah, I found your fucking cheese; here. But is it so god damn difficult for you to stay where I leave you? Do you know how annoying it is to search for you, when those fucking one foot in a grave people decide to have their little 'let’s compare whose life is the most fucked up' conversations?” I snapped and tossed the cheese that had caused so much trouble already into the cart.

Jesse looked at me rolling his eyes and sighed.

“I know that you do not like going to grocery stores, but please can you stop all that swearing. It sounds so childish,” Jesse scolded me. I looked at him and the teddy in his hands.

“Says the guy who's looking to buy a teddy for himself?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Your sister’s birthday is coming up,” he told me, looking at my face with a somewhat amused expression.
“Oh yeah...” I muttered. I had forgotten all about Sini's birthday to be honest and once again Jesse would save my neck. The teddy was placed among the rest of the stuff and we continued our shopping trip from hell.

I stayed behind Jesse, just so that I could look at the swing of his perfect ass as he walked in front of me.

Jesse turned to look at me; his deep blue eyes had the smile that had appeared on his lips. He was just so beautiful, there was no way getting past that. I wondered if I could find some secluded corner to take him to and…hm...the changing cabinets?

“I think we got everything already, except the drinks.” Jesse said then, interrupting my wildly running thoughts.

“Oh yes, the drinks then...” I muttered, sounding a bit absent minded and once again my eyes met with his butt. Damn I felt horny. Luckily it wasn't a horribly long trip to the cabin from here.

**^^**^^**

“There's a mighty fine forest over there,” I said after we had driven for about 20 minutes. Jesse chuckled and shook his head. Is he laughing at me?!

“There are forests everywhere. So what, dare I even ask, makes this one finer than the others we have driven by already?” he asked, looking at me with a curious expression.

“Well, uh, the shape of the trees, the way the light of the sun moves through them and... And there seems to be plenty of moss; so I bet the ground is really soft in some places.” I gave him a smile. “We could stop at the next resting area and go explore the nature for a bit; you know...” A man has always got to try. Jesse turned his head towards the window, but I could see that he's smiling. I seem to amuse him to no end!

“We're going to a cabin, Joni. I'm happy with the nature that we'll find there, so there's really no need to stop now.”

“So what you're saying is that you'll go to explore the nature with me once we reach the cabin?” I asked, my tone full of hope.

“Just drive the car, hon,” he said, smiling and I let out a deep, depressed sigh.

*

Finally we reached the cabin and from the look of the other cars the others had already arrived.

Jesse smiled when he saw his friend Kim, who smiled back at him in an insanely happy manner. He did try to hold himself down, but I saw how he burned with the urge to feel my boyfriend up. He waved at us and came to help us with our luggage and the groceries.

At first they hugged though, and I felt sick just looking at it. I can't understand how Jesse can even touch him, since Kim was so over weight. It was disgusting.

Kim's cheeks went red as he looked at Jesse as they laughed about some joke of theirs even as they carried the stuff into the cabin.
I grabbed our bags and followed them inside. At the door I ran into Marko and he grinned at me. His green blue eyes sparkled and his blond hair framed his handsome face.
“Hi Joni.”

“Hi Marko,” I said, smiling at the slightly shorter guy. We looked at each other for a moment longer. Marko looked god damn gorgeous and I was still feeling as horny as ever. I remembered clearly how his lips had felt around my hardening member. I also remembered the contour of his well shaped body in a dimly lighted room. He held my gaze, smiling still, touching me furtively as he walked past me. I followed him with my eyes as he walked towards the dock. He turned around, smiled seductively and then continued on. He remembered too; our secret night.

’Maybe if Jesse decides to hold back sex from me again, I can perhaps convince Marko to some action?’ I couldn’t help but to smile at the thought. I certainly wouldn't mind having him again.

I found my boyfriend inside, in the kitchen where he was kneeling in front of the fridge, placing our groceries inside. Kim leaned against the counter, staring at his ass, which is such a sexy ass that even I couldn't blame that pervert from looking at it. I wanted Jesse, I wanted Marko. To put it simply; I wanted sex. Jesse or Marko; the two hottest guy at the cabin, either one of them worked quite well with me. Jesse just didn't have to know that. I didn't want to cheat on him again. I knew that if he were to know, then I would loose him and you didn't want to lose a guy like Jesse. So from now on I would only try and concentrate on getting into the pants of my own boyfriend.

Jesse stood up and I walked behind him, wrapping my arms around him I kissed his perfect neck. I didn't really bother to care about the fact that the perverted Kim was still watching.

“Honey, let’s go upstairs?” I whispered still placing gentle kisses on the side of his neck. He turned his face to look at me, kissed my lips, before pulling away from my embrace.
“But just this morning we...” He started, glanced at Kim and then, slightly insecurely back at me.
“...This is kind of a bad moment. We just got here. I'll think about it later, alright?” He said then and walked away. I sighed with frustration. Somebody please fuck with me now! Not Kim though...

Didn't Jesse realize how his constant rejection affected me? Kim looked a bit too pleased of Jesse's refusal, like he was proud of him or something. His eyes met with mine and I glared at him angrily. He blushed, stuttered something and left to go outside. Jesse had also disappeared into the living room, where I found him talking with Sami. I definitely needed a cold bath...


Later that night, we sat outside. We had all been drinking, some quite heavily, some less.

Jesse was talking with Kim and ignoring me! I guess he knew what I wanted and wasn't in the mood; how typical. It was frustrating to be the one in the relationship who wanted more sex than the other. Jesse had once told me that no one was as horny as I was. It was true that I wanted sex daily or better yet, two or tree times a day, but Jesse simply couldn't keep up with my appetite – a pity really. I think there's nothing strange in wanting sex so often; I'm a healthy young man at the age of 23, of course I want sex. I mean, who doesn't?!

My eyes wandered off to where Marko sat just as he looked back at me and smiled. I became mesmerized by his movements. How he licked his lips, how he looked at me, pure want in his eyes and finally he stood up. He walked towards me, stopped just as he was about to pass me.

“I'm going to the sauna. Meet me there in five minutes if you're interested,” I heard him whisper, even though he wasn’t looking in my direction. He continued walking. His boyfriend was too drunk to even notice his boy-toy’s sudden absence.

My palms sweating, my heart racing, racing with the desire…the need to go and follow him grew stronger which each passing second. Five minutes he had said to me. I needed to get laid and I couldn’t really think clearly. But remembering my earlier promise to myself I found myself lowering my hand down on Jesse’s thigh. One last try; a Finnish man is always persistent.

Jesse looked at me and I also gained the attention of his chubby friend.
“What is it now?” The question was asked in an almost bored tone.
“Honey, let’s go inside?” I carefully suggested
“Not now, I thought I told you this already?” He snapped coldly, turning his attention back to his whale of a friend.
“Well I ain't going to force you!” I felt angry and rejected and…well, even my persistence has its limits.

‘What the fuck was this? He’d rather talk with that ugly beast than have wonderful, mind blowing sex with his gorgeous boyfriend?!’ I thought as I made my way to the sauna building. ‘Well fine, that's just fine! Have it his way then. He could only blame himself for this! He practically threw me into the arms of another guy. Yes, Jesse is the one to be blamed. Not I, never I.’

I opened the door and slipped into the dim room where I found him already waiting. He had already lost his shirt and was now leaning against the wall, smiling with the promise of what I knew he could offer. He reached out to take my hand.

“I knew you'd come,” He whispered and I allowed him to pull me closer. My lips met his in a slow kiss that would only be the start to something much more. I breathed in his lovely scent, caressing his cheeks with my lips.

I felt his hands behind my back, sneaking their way under my shirt, urging me closer.
“Take this off….” He huskily whispered pulling my shirt up and I allowed him to remove it. It was carelessly tossed somewhere onto the cold concrete floor.

Our kisses turned needier, hungrier for more, and all sense of reality flew out the window, all thoughts of tomorrow. His eyes darkened from lust, to the point where they were almost dark green.
“What about Pete?” I panted, my erection already throbbing and as soon as the question had made itself known from my lips, I found myself regretting it. He did not need a reminder of his boyfriend, or man-friend more like it.

“What about Jesse?” he asked, grinning slightly, opening his red and swollen lips and licking them.

“Jesse who?” I asked, losing myself into the kiss once more. Hands seemed to be everywhere, moaning, breathing, clothes undressed, sounds of intense kissing. I tugged his jeans down and he kicked them all the way off. I practically tore his boxers off, but he didn't seem to care.

“Oh gods, Joni, take me, take me now...” he moaned and it was surely all that I could take, I turned him around, his face meeting with the wall. I spat on my hand, brought it between his buttocks and forced my finger inside him. I felt him going tense and waited before I could feel him relaxing again. “I want you inside me...” he whispered looking at me from over his shoulder.

He didn't have to ask me twice! I looked around, realizing I’d need something to work as a lube; liquid soap, it would have to do. I took some on my palm, rubbing it on myself and on him.
“This might hurt,” I whispered to his ear, before I penetrated him having to use some strength. He yelped and I quickly brought my hand to cover his mouth so that the others wouldn't hear us. Soon enough, Marko started to relax again. He started mimicking my movements, pushing his butt more firmly against me, taking my cock even deeper inside of himself.

“What a horny little slut you are…Does it feel good? I bet it does… I bet you’ve been dreaming about this for so long; dreamed of having my cock buried deep inside your tight ass… Dreamed that I’d fuck you so hard, just like this…” I thrust in and out, faster and faster, listening to his quiet moans of pleasure that brought me even closer to my peak.

I brought my hand down on his cock, stroking it as I kept fucking him. It was hard to stay quiet at a moment like this but I didn’t want anyone to surprise us.

“Oh gods, I'm coming soon,” he finally whispered and I felt his inner muscles contracting around my swollen organ. I heard him panting, at that moment I shot my own seed inside him.

Still resting against him, my forehead against his sweaty shoulder. Trying to catch our own breath.
“That was wonderful...” He whispered.
“Yes, it was...” I admitted. And suddenly the door opened; almost giving me a heart attack. I pulled out of him and tried to pull my pants back up. I looked at the doorway and saw Kim standing there with a shocked expression on his face.

“Joni? Marko? You're cheating on Jesse?” He stuttered and looked at us, his face twisting from disgust. Marko looked as shocked as I was, or maybe even more. He tried desperately to cover himself up. Suddenly I felt calmer as I zipped my pants up and approached Kim, who instantly backed away.

“Oh Kim, you saw nothing here, nothing that would concern you,” I spoke calmly, all the while looking at him.
“Don't even think about telling Pete about this!” Marko hissed from behind me as he was putting his clothes back on.
“They need to know. Jesse needs to know and Pete,” he said, his bottom lip trembling pitifully and his muddy brown eyes looking at me with as much defiance as he could manage to find within him
“No, they do not. Tell them and you'll only break their hearts. Is that what you want? To break Jesse's heart? To see him cry?” I asked.

“No, you cheated on him. It is you who will break his heart! You do not deserve Jesse and you...” He looked at Marko. “You do not deserve Pete.” His round face was filled with anger. ‘Oh, but this was just too easy,’ I thought. I knew guys like him and I knew what strings to pull.

“Well go on; tell them then. But do you really think that they would believe you? They would see you for who you are; a desperate fat guy, who in his jealousy tries to make up stupid stories. I know you like him, I know how you watch him, and I know all the disgusting fantasies you have of Jesse. He is an impossible dream to you; he would never think of you that way. In fact; he would get sick from the mere thought of your hands on him. Trust me, Kim,” I smiled with satisfaction as I saw him starting to cry before he rushed out.

I turned to look at Marko.
“Do you think that he'll tell them?” He asked with worry.
“No, he won't have the guts to tell them,” I assured him with a smile, before picking my shirt up from the floor and put it on. Jesse loved me; he wouldn't believe Kim, no matter how good friends they were. ‘I can be more convincing,’ I thought, and prayed to God that I would be right. I really didn't want to lose him; I loved him, Jesse, I did. I just needed more sex than he could give me.