My Goodbye

The Lost Goddess is giving me a little trouble. So, I'm putting this up for now. It's a short story I wrote for a class. Please R&R.
Thanks,
Sarain

Sorry for any grammer mistakes.
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My Goodbye

My name is Nick Weller.
Once upon a time I was a baseball player, until an injury finished my career before it even began. Then, I was a sports journalist for a newspaper, but the pain of trying to report what I would rather be playing ended that fairly quickly. So, for a few years I did odd jobs around the city, getting work wherever and whenever I could. Then, I met Sara.
I should actually say that I nearly ran her over. I was bike riding around the park, on my way to work. She had paused to unravel her dog’s leash from a pole. I was off in la-la land and failed to realize she way in the way until it was almost too late. Luckily, I swerved at the last instant. I crashed into the sidewalk and when I glanced up I was lost. Sara Elizabeth Dune had the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. I offered to buy her dinner in apology, and it took off from there.
Sara was fun, funny, caring. There are not enough words to describe her and how I felt. She constantly amazed me. With Sara around me life took a dramatic turn for the better. I got a job as a book editor, and life just seemed brighter. Just over a year after we met I managed to convince Sara Dune to become Sara Weller. She changed my life for the better, and I couldn’t have been happier.
I’ve explained all this in order to help you realize what it means when I say that my world has come crashing down around me. Last Thursday had been a very typical day and I was home cooking dinner, waiting for Sara. Dinner was nearly finished when the telephone began to ring. I listened for a few minutes, and, in that short time, my world began to crumble.
I don’t remember hanging up the phone, and I’m not sure how I made it safely to the hospital, but I did. She’ll be okay. She’ll be okay. The thought ran continuously through my head, along with the echo of the voice on the phone, there’s been an accident. Your wife…
The next several hours passed by and I was aware of nothing except the whiteness. Everywhere was white, the walls, the floor, the ceiling. So white it was nearly blinding. I was not aware of the passage of time, I didn’t notice when our family and friends arrived. There was just white.
Suddenly, after hours of blurry whiteness, I glanced up and for one instant, everything was clear. For one, single instant the blurriness lifted as I saw a doctor headed toward me. I saw his face, his eyes, I heard, “I’m sorry…” and the blurriness descended again.

The last several days have been nothing but that same blurriness, interspersed with brief moments of clarity. These moments last long enough for me to remember, then the veil descends and everything is lost. Until today. I woke up this morning and there was no veil, only clarity and a million jumbled thoughts. The first thought that appeared clearly was, Gone. She’s gone. A lancing pain shoots through my chest and tears well up in my eyes.
My wife. My best friend. My Sara.
Five years worth of memories have been racing nonstop through my head.
As I sit here writing this, the pain and sense of loss continues to grow. I am consumed.
Life is hard.
Life is work.
Life is bleak.
Life is empty.
Life with Sara is peaceful, joyful, fun.
She was so…alive. Sara loved life.
Everyday just seemed worth living.
My head realizes that dying is a part of living, part of life. But, my heart and soul scream in agony.
I wasn’t supposed to lose her yet! We were supposed to grow old together!
And now, we won’t.
Because some idiot, jackass drove drunk and ran a red light.
My beautiful, sweet Sara.
I cannot, and will not, live without her.

I have written this mainly for my family and friends. I know it will be difficult to lose us both like this. But, I hope you understand. Why I had to do this.
Please don’t blame yourselves. Please don’t feel guilty. Please don’t feel bad that you didn’t try and stop me, or see that this was coming. Just know that I am happy with this decision. I have no regrets.
Life is not worth living if she is not here to live it with me.
I will be with her again soon.
There is nothing I want more, than to end this pain and be reunited with her.
Sara, I am coming.
Goodbye.
Nickolas L. Weller