Saving Me

Saving Me
By Shortone1286689

Saving Me is a copyright of the band Nickelback.
The characters of Squall, Seifer, Zell, Irvine, Quistis, Selphie, and Rinoa are all copyrighted by Squaresoft and belong to them as such. I claim no profit or personal gain through my use of these characters other than the enjoyment of writing a story and entertaining others. This story contains some dark themes, which may be offensive to some people. If you are easily offended, please do not read any further. Please enjoy the story and review.

~ Prison gates won’t open up for me
On these hands and knees I’m crawlin’
Oh, I reach for you ~

Seifer Almasy glanced across to the other side of the cafeteria again. He sighed and rose. He deposited his tray by the door and left the room. He walked through the hallways aimlessly until he caught a flash of that familiar bomber jacket. He followed down the hall to the dormitories and found himself staring straight at Squall Leonheart.

“What?” The younger boy glared up at him and clenched his hand around the hilt of his gunblade. Seifer gulped and wished once again that he hadn’t had his weapon suspended for fighting in the halls again.

“I- I… “ He closed his mouth and glared down at the smaller boy. He shoved his hands into his pockets roughly, turned on his heel and walked back the way he had come. Squall stared after him for a moment, confused. Then he shook his head and went into his room.

Seifer turned the corner and shook his head. He ran his hand through his short blonde hair and sighed. “Why did I think that would work…?” He shrugged and sat down on one of the nearby benches.‘Of course. Nothing’s changed. Well, except that now he has a reason to be such a frosty bastard. I didn’t have a choice there. Damn! Why won’t he just let me talk to him? But then… he’s never refused to listen… I’ve just been to stupid to think of anything to say!.’ “Stupid!” He shouted and smacked himself in the head. A nearby student turned and quirked an eyebrow. “What’re you lookin’ at?!” He snarled, rose and stormed off toward the Training Center.

As he walked down the hallway leading to the Training Center’s entrance, Seifer reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of leather gloves. He glanced around to make sure no one was around and then slid his hands into the gloves. ‘Chicken-wuss would shit a brick if he saw me wearing these things.’ He walked through the gate and cocked his head, listening for the tell-tale sounds of an approaching monster.

He walked farther into the next area and encountered a group of grats. He eliminated them swiftly and moved deeper into the gloom. He heard voices ahead of him and drew nearer. A glimpse of blonde hair and a boy-ish chuckle informed him of what he needed to know. He glanced down at his gloved hands and swiftly turned to leave.

Seifer walked down the hallway to his dormitory and nearly collided with the subject of his thoughts. He looked down at the glowering brunette.

“Well, fancy meeting you here.” He smirked as Squall brushed past him. As though of it’s own accord, Seifer’s hand snaked down and brushed the leather covering Squall’s rump and then withdrew. Squall’s step faltered and he turned to glare over his should at the older boy.

“Keep your hands to yourself, Almasy.” He spat the name out as one would a bitter drink. He then turned and stalked away. Seifer watched after him stunned. He lifted his hand and stared at the leather covered flesh. ‘Why the hell did I do that? I’m not complaining but…. I get the feeling that this is going to lead to something very bad…..’ He turned and walked into his dorm.


A knock on his door woke Seifer from his slumber. He rose and proceeded to the door. When the knock came again he called out, “I’m coming! Knock it off, will ya?” He swung the door open and the colored drained from his face. Before him stood a very pissed looking Headmaster Cid Kramer. Seifer gulped and tried to force a smile onto his face. “How can I help you headmaster?”

Cid glared up at the boy. “You can start by opening the door fully dressed. It’s against policy to be in Garden public without a shirt on. But then, policy never really mattered to you, did it Mr. Almasy? Are you going to let me in, or should I make your discharge from Garden public news?” Seifer stared at the older man and jumped back to let the older man through.

Seifer walked quickly to his dresser and pulled a T-shirt over his head. ‘Discharge from Garden!?! For what?’ His thoughts flashed back to earlier that afternoon, to his gloved hand on Squall. He gulped. ‘But that was only on offense! They can’t discharge me for one offense!’ He turned to face the older man and noticed the file he held under his arm. It was filled well past its capacity, with paper nearly falling out both sides.

“Now that you’re attired properly, I’ll explain the reasons for my visit. Seifer, you seem to have made it your personal mission to break every rule this Garden has. Over the years that you’ve been here, you have managed to surpass any disciplinary file that may have come before you. Teachers no longer try to get you to focus on your studies, as you seem to no longer have interest in their lessons. Students refuse to spar with you due to your disregard to our “First-blood” rule. The only student who would spar with you came forward this afternoon with a complaint that you sexually harassed him. I’ve been led to believe you are already aquatinted with Mr. Squall Leonheart.” Seifer nodded numbly. Cid opened the file he held and drew forth a document. “Apparently, while passing in the hallway, you reached out and touched Squall inappropriately. This is unacceptable for any number of reasons, among which is Garden’s fierce disapproval of same-sex interests and our strict policies against sexual-harassment.”

He sighed and removed his glasses to clean them. After a quick swipe with the edge of his shirt, the Headmaster replaced his glasses and looked up at Seifer. “I could spend the next six hours or so listing off the reasons for which you are being discharged but I don’t wish to waste your time or my own. If you agree to leave peaceably and are off campus premises by 12 o’clock tomorrow, it will be written into your discharge papers that you left of your own free will. If you choose to cause a disturbance, disciplinary action will be taken without our Garden system. Simply, you will be placed under arrest. I strongly urge you to avoid the latter choice.” He sighed again. “Seifer, I am truly upset by the necessity to relieve you of your position among us. Gunblade masters are a rare breed and we will miss your skills. To spare your fellow students to grief of seeing you leave, I suggest you leave tonight. I personally am sorry to lose you Seifer.” He bent to gather his paper work and prepared to leave. Seifer remained speechless as the older man showed himself out.
Seifer walked to the bed and sank down helplessly. He stared at the wall on the adjacent side of the room. ‘So, that’s it? Just like that? How can they do this? Isn’t there some kind of rule to prevent this? But then, would it really matter? I never really cared about rules anyway, so one more wouldn’t matter.’ He sighed and stood. He glanced around his room. There wasn’t really much to pack up. His eyes ran over the empty case that usually held Hyperion. ‘Better go find Quistis to get that back.’

He walked to the door of his room and opened it. A glint of metal caught his eye and he glanced down. There lay Hyperion, partially wrapped cloth. He glanced around and saw the familiar blonde turning the corner at the end of the hallway. She glanced back and caught his eye. A tear ran down her cheek and she walked out of his sight. Seifer sighed and bent down to retrieve the blade.

He walked back into the room and laid the blade in its case. He knelt beside his bed and reached underneath. He drew out a large black duffel bag and dropped it on his bed. With a heavy heart, he quickly emptied his dresser and closet into it. As he reached the back of his closet, he spied a photograph that he had pinned up back there countless ages ago. He reached out and plucked the image from the wall. He gazed down into the smiling face of his subject of desire. A small smile found it’s way onto his face as he remembered that day.

It had been summer, about two years ago. The old orphanage gang had decided to go to the beaches near Garden. By some fluke, Seifer had been invited to come along. At first he had thought it was a prank, but when he met up with them at the beach he was welcomed warmly by most. Zell glared at him and seemed on the edge of a fight the entire afternoon.

Selphie had suggested a game of volleyball. Everyone, with the exception of Squall, had agreed readily. The group had tried it’s best to persuade the dark haired boy to join them but to no avail. Finally Seifer called out, “C’mon Leonheart, join us. Unless you’re afraid that you’ll lose.” Squall’s stormy eyes had shot up to meet his emerald gaze and the younger boy rose. He walked over to join Seifer’s team, much to the blonde’s surprise.

The game began and progressed pretty evenly. Half-way through, Irvine and Quistis called the game to a time-out. Irvine motioned everyone in toward him and smirked. “What do you guys say we raise the stakes a little? How about… the losing team has to make lunch?” He glanced around as the others nodded their heads in agreement. Squall merely shrugged indifference and walked back to his position in the game.

The game drew on until finally the scores were at 18 to 19. The ball belonged to Zell’s team and he walked back to the serving line. The ball soon sailed over the net, just missing it. Seifer reached out and hit the ball back only to have Irvine dive into the air and spike it back toward him. The two volleyed the ball back and forth until Irvine missed it bringing the score to 19 to 19 and giving Seifer’s team possession of the ball.

Seifer walked back to the serving line and the ball flew through the air. Selphie bumped the ball back over, only to have Quistis return it to her side. Zell dove for the ball, hitting back over the net at an impossible-to-block angle. Squall dove and miraculously hit the ball back into the air. Seifer dove into the air and spiked the ball fiercely over the net. Irvine jumped for the ball but missed and watched as it innocently bounced off of the field and out of bounds into the water.
Zell and Irvine watched after the ball, looking near tears while Selphie walked over to begin lunch preparations. Quistis followed and pulled her Poloroid camera out of her bag. She turned back in time to click a photo of Squall smiling up at Seifer, who looked ready to bust. At the flash, both boys looked over. Seifer blushed and grinned sheepishly while Squall let his face slide back into its usual icy state.

While the others settled down to eat lunch, Seifer led Quistis back toward the car with some meaningless task. When he had her out of sight from the other he turned to her. “Alright, what do you want for that picture? I’ll give you anything within my abilities.” His face was a desperate parody of itself.

Quistis smirked and quirked an eyebrow at the boy standing before him. “If you want it that badly, you can have it. I don’t know why you’d want it though, it’s just you and Squall.” She smiled at him knowingly and handed the photo over to him. He smiled down at it and thanked her quietly.

A soft knocking on his door pulled Seifer back from his thoughts. He laid the photo on his bed and walked to the door. He opened it with a faint smile lingering on his lips. The smile fell as his eyes slid down to its cause. Squall stood looking up at the older boy with a frosty expression.
Seifer stared down at the younger boy. ‘What’s he doing here? Isn’t he the reason I’m getting thrown out? It’s not his style to gloat… so what does he want?’ Manners quickly reasserted themselves and Seifer stepped back to allow the younger boy to pass the room’s threshold. “Come in.”

The brunette nodded and stepped into the room. He had only been in Seifer’s room a handful of times in the years they’d been in garden together. The walls had always been bare but for some reason their bleak appearance made the room seem all the more desolate. His eyes roved over to the case that held his rival’s blade and he found relief in the blade’s familiarity. He turned back at the sound of Seifer clearing his throat.

“So, what do you want Leonheart?” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the closed door. A confused expression took hold of Squall’s features as he briefly had forgotten his reason for coming. Then he remembered.

“I didn’t tell him anything.” His voice held it’s usual cold monotone.

“Didn’t tell who anything?” Seifer lifted an eyebrow. It wasn’t like Squall to be enigmatic. His rival’s lack of straight-forwardness drew him to attention immediately.

“I didn’t tell the Headmaster what happened earlier. He wrote the report from what he saw from the cameras. I’m sorry.” He turned his head to the side and lowered his gaze.

Seifer scoffed at the news, drawing Squall’s attention back up to him. “You think I don’t know that?” His own words surprised him but the blonde continued. “You never filed a report before, so it seemed out of place that you would out of nowhere.”

Squall brought his eyes up to meet the older boy’s gaze. “What was out of place was your hand.” He felt a distinct satisfaction in the blush that painted Seifer’s cheekbones.

Seifer averted his gaze and caught a glimpse of the photograph sitting on his bed. He gasped quietly and made for his bed. Squall caught the audible change in the other boy’s breathing and turned to see what had drawn his attention. His eyes fell on the photograph before Seifer’s form blocked his view. Squall looked up to see Seifer’s face take on a new shade of red while the blonde refused to meet his gaze.

“Seifer, is that from the day at the beach?” The older boy nodded without looking up. “Quistis took it right after the volleyball game, right?” Again the older boy nodded, still blushing fiercely.
The brunette nodded knowingly and took a step forward. Seifer looked up to meet the younger boy’s intense gaze. The brunette extended his hand to the blonde. Seifer looked down at the gesture and clasped the younger boy’s hand firmly. Squall’s skin felt soft under Seifer’s battle-callused fingers. He gasped as the younger boy pulled him into a fierce embrace. He stared down in disbelief at the uncharacteristic gesture.

Squall quickly pulled away and turned around. A sound lingering on a sob escaped the brunette. He swiped quickly at his eyes and then turned to face the older boy. He opened his mouth to speak but no sound came and he closed his mouth again. He took a deep breath and tried again. “We-we’ll miss you Seifer… I’ll miss you…” Then he turned and left the room, closing the door firmly behind him.

Seifer moved the bag off of the bed and lay down, wrapping his arms around himself. He closed his eyes as the familiar burning of tears came to them. He opened them again when he felt he could prevent them. Then his eyes fell on the photograph. He reached out and brought it close to his face. He stared intently at the brunette figure in it and the brought to his lips. He pressed a brief kiss against the paper, closing his eyes.

Then Seifer did something that he hadn’t done for many years. He let the tears fall. Seifer Almasy lay curled in a fetal position on his bed a bawled like a child.

~ Well I’m terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can’t hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I’m callin’
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I’m fallin’ ~


Seifer stood where the bus had left him 2 hours before. He stared across the parking lot at the main street of Deling City. Cid had suggested that he move away from Balamb due to the wide knowledge of his reputation. ‘Gee, thanks a lot you old bastard.’ Seifer took a deep breath and released. He looked both ways and then crossed the parking lot.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. On it was written a short message in curling feminine script:
Seifer-
Look me up the next time you’re in Deling.
- Rinoa

It was followed by an address somewhere in the middle of the city. He glanced up at the street’s signs and referred to the tourists’ map posted on a nearby building. He located the cross-streets for Rinoa’s house and set out.

After getting turned around twice and hitting a dead end, Seifer finally found himself on Rinoa’s doorstep. He rang the bell, expecting to see Rinoa open the door. When the door finally opened an unfamiliar old woman stood before him. She glared up at him from underneath wrinkles formed by a lifetime of servitude.

Seifer cleared his throat and inquired, “Does a girl named Rinoa live here?” He tried to peer around the woman who bristled at his attempt.

In a voice that more closely resembled a frog’s than a person’s, the old woman replied, “Ms. Rinoa is resting in her room and cannot be disturbed. If you’d like to leave a message, I’ll make sure she receives it when she wakes.” She glared up at Seifer, willing his to spontaneously combust before her so she could slam the door without risk of punishment.

“Are you sure she can’t come to the door? I really need to talk to her.” He smiled down at the woman, trying to win her over. It didn’t work.

“If I disturbed Ms. Rinoa every time some young punk like you came knocking, she’d never get any rest. Now, would you like to leave a name for her, or would you like to just leave?” She stood with her hands on her hips and a scowl firmly in place.

Seifer was taken aback by the woman’s manner. “Uh, okay. Could you tell her that Seifer Almasy came calling?”

“Siffer Assy, got it.” She turned to close the door.

“It’s Almasy, ma’am.”

“Listen kid, I don’t really care what your name is. Ms. Rinoa probably doesn’t either. If you want to know the truth, she probably doesn’t even remember where she met you, let alone who you are. I write every young man’s name down that stands on this doorstep just like you. Then she looks at them and then throws them away. So, now Mr. Seifer Almasy, I implore you to leave and just forget that you were ever drawn to this door.” Then she closed the door with a loud thump, the edge of it just brushing the tips of Seifer’s boots.

He stared at the wood grain in disbelief. The he sighed, walked down the street and around the corner. ‘Well, so much for that idea!’ He kicked a nearby trash can, denting in and spilling it’s contents onto the sidewalk. The door of the house in which he stood in front of flew open.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” A young man’s voice shouted at him as the body it belonged to made it’s way toward him.

“Fuck off! I’ve had a really shitty day!” Seifer turned to leave but felt a hand on his shoulder stopping him.

“It’s about to get a hell of a lot worse if you don’t clean that up!” The man whipped him around and landed a solid punch to Seifer’s jaw. Seifer staggered back, more from shock than the blow itself.

“Why you-“ He cut himself off and dove for the man. He tackled him to the ground and followed him down, swinging mercilessly at the man’s face. He was vaguely aware of someone trying to hold his hands back. He turned to lash out at whoever was holding him back and stopped himself within a hair’s breadth of slamming his fist into Rinoa’s face.

He shook himself and looked down at the body beneath him. The man’s face looked like ground meat and he had to fight a wave of nausea. He rose to his feet with Rinoa’s aide and had to look away from the man’s face. His eyes settled on Rinoa’s worried eyes.

“What the hell happened Seifer?! I just talked to Granny and she said I’d just missed you. I came out to find you and here you are, trying to kill a man! What’s gotten into you?”

Seifer stared at her, tears forming in his eyes. He fell forward, clutching her in an embrace and he sobbed into her shoulder. Rinoa gasped and then wrapped her arms around Seifer timidly. She swallowed back her revulsion when her eyes fell on his hands covered in blood.

“It’s okay Seifer… Let’s get you off the street.” She led him back to her house and closed the door behind him.


“Alright, now tell me what happened!” Rinoa stood over Seifer with her hands on her hips. “I put my butt on the line when I asked Daddy to help me clean up the mess you made of that guy. The least you can do is tell me what happened to make you do it.”

Seifer stared at the floor helplessly. He took a breath and rose his gaze to meet the petite girl’s fierce glare. “I-I don’t know… Just… everything piling up… and then… I kicked the trashcan and then he came out and grabbed my shoulder and yelled something else at me and…. I… I just lost it… I couldn’t do anything to stop…” He moved his hands in a gesture of helplessness.

Rinoa sighed. “So, what exactly has been piling up? I already heard from Selphie that Garden discharged you. I have yet to hear why, although I have a good idea.” Seifer averted his eyes to the floor and mumbled something. “What? Seifer, speak clearly. It’s not like you to mumble.”

“I said, Cid filed a false report.”

“What kind of false report? What’d it say?”

“It said… said… that I…” A blush crept onto his tanned cheeks and he moved his eyes everywhere in the room except Rinoa.

“Well?” Rinoa stared expectantly.

“That I had sexually harassed Squall! But I didn’t! Well… I might have… but he didn’t file the report, so it wouldn’t matter! But Cid was watching the cameras and… and he-he filed the report and said that it had been Squall. But Squall said he didn’t!” He looked up at Rinoa with tears brimming in his eyes.

Rinoa blushed at the news. “Well… um… So… Cid filed a report saying that you…um… harassed Squall, but you didn’t… or you did?” Here she looked at him questioningly. He turned his eyes away. “Did you?” He nodded his head almost imperceptibly. She blushed darker as an image came to mind. She shook her head and continued, “Squall didn’t file a report. But Cid wrote one out from what he saw on the cameras and filed it? Did he say anything else? Or was that it?"

“He said that he could spend hours listing off the reasons I was being discharged but the top reason was…” He looked up sharply, as the whole situation became clear to him. “Garden doesn’t like fags. That’s what it is!”

“What are you talking about Seifer?” Rinoa looked at him quizzically.

“ I mean, he said that he could spend hours listing off the reasons I was being discharged, but I didn’t. He summed it up to Garden not excepting gays. That file was at least three inches thick. He could have pulled out any one of a thousand reasons to discharge me, but he was waiting for this one. He waited until he had me cornered and then discharged me.”

“So, you’re saying that he targeted you? But how did he know you are gay? You aren’t exactly flamboyant.” She watched his face and then continued before he could answer. “Let me guess, that’s where Squall came in. What exactly did you do?” Seifer blushed fiercely and kept his mouth sealed. “Seifer? Seifer Almasy! Tell me what you did to him!”

Seifer focused his eyes on a random point about Rinoa’s head. “I just… grabbed him.”

“Where?” The question made him wince slightly.

“His ass.”

“Seifer!?!” She gasped, but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips.

“Hey! You would have done it too, given the chance! But… it’s the weirdest thing…” His unfocused for a moment.

“What?”

“When it happened… He just told me to keep my hands to myself… and that’s not all… after Cid left… and Quistis came by to drop of Hyperion…. He came to my room.”

“He did? How weird… Oh and that reminds me. Why didn’t you use Hyperion today? I didn’t know you were that good with your fists.” She gave him a satisfied smile.

“I’ve had her taken away from me so often, I decided to see what made Chicken-wuss so excited about hitting things instead of slicing ‘em. That and most folks wouldn’t survive Hyperion… Squall’s, the only one who really can…”His eyes went distant for a moment longer and then he continued,” But yeah, he came to my room. That’s when he told me that he hadn’t filed the report. And the weirdest thing of all was… well… he…”

“What? What’d he do?” Rinoa stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

“He reached out to shake my hand and then… He hugged me.”

“He what!?!” Rinoa shrieked and jumped out of her chair, staring at Seifer. “You’re lying! He wouldn’t hug you! That frosty bastard wouldn’t even hold hands with me, and I was his girlfriend!” She looked down at Seifer’s shocked features, as if he too was having trouble believing it. “He really did, didn’t he? Do you think it means….?” She let the question hang in the air unfinished.
Seifer looked up at her with a shadow of his usual smirk on his face. “I can dream…”
She smiled at him warmly and sat down again. “That you can, Seifer Almasy, that you can.”


Seifer lay on his back staring up at the white ceiling above him. He knew he owned Rinoa and her dad a major favor for putting him up in this apartment. He rolled over on his side and looked at the unpacked duffel bag. He sighed and rose to start unpacking it. Rinoa had lent him a few pieces of furniture that her family had put into storage. The one bedroom apartment contained a twin bed, a small dresser, and a card table for eating at with two chairs.

The second chair had been an after thought of her father’s, merely a want for symmetry but Seifer believed it had had something to do with Rinoa’s faith in wishful thinking. He smirked at the chair, picturing Squall sitting in it drinking his morning coffee. He sighed and turned away.

He picked up the bag, dropped it down on the bed and started to unload his belongings. It surprised him how quickly he was finished and he looked around for something to do.

He decided he’d go visit Rinoa and find out if she wanted to go out to dinner. Although Her family had gotten him the apartment, he was still financially independent, refusing to let her pay his rent or the security fee. He smirked at the memory of the enraged glare that over took her usually soft face. He chuckled softly and walked out the door.

He found himself standing on a corner near the main gateway and turned down the street. He made it a point to avoid Rinoa’s neighbor and came in through the back. He rapped firmly on the door and was surprised when Rinoa opened it.

“Oh, uh hey! I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner and a movie or something.” He smirked and shoved his hands into his pockets.

She grinned wickedly. “Why Seifer Almasy, are you asking me on a date?” She grinned up at him, her eyes dancing with her mischief.

Seifer scoffed, “Only if you promise to grow a dick and make your voice drop a few octaves.” He snickered at the glare she shot at him. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. So, you wanna go?”

She smirked, “What if I say ‘no’?”

“Then I’ll go out myself and checkout the local clubs.” He shrugged.

“Please, you’d get lost halfway there. Plus, I thought you and Squall had something going on. I thought he was the jealous type.” She grinned at his embarrassed blush. “Well, why don’t you give him a call. He knows his way around Deling pretty well. Just be careful and use protection.”

“Rinoa! Geez, have a little tact! And… I can’t call Squall…”

“Why not?” She stared at him, knowing he was pinned.

“Well… I just…. I dunno… He won’t come.” He glared back at her, as though trying to close the argument with that.

“I bet he will. Here’s his number.” Here she reached into her pocket and handed him the slip of paper she found there. She grinned at his dumbfounded stare.

He shook his head and glared at her. “You had this planned, didn’t you?”

She smiled innocently. “I might have, but what does it matter? Oh, by the way, that’s his cell number so you don’t have to go through Garden.”

“Uh huh…” Seifer had already glanced down at the number and noticed that. His heart jumped at the thought of having a direct link to Squall.

“Oh, and you might be getting a call on your cell later, so keep it turned on.” She grinned up at him and then turned to close the door.

Seifer stood staring at the number and then numbly turned to leave. He walked down the street and turned the corner. When he was out of sight of Rinoa’s house he flipped out his cell phone and turned it on. He was about to dial the number when it suddenly appeared on his caller ID. He jumped and let out a yelp. As his ring tone was drawing to a close, he pressed a button and brought the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” His voice squeaked slightly and he cleared his throat and tried again. “Hello? This is Seifer-”

“I know who this is.”

The familiar voice that cut him off made his heart skip a beat. “Um, Squall?”

“Yeah… Rinoa just called and said I should give you a call.”

“Oh…” Seifer silently thanked Rinoa while at the same time, damning her for putting him in this position.

“Well, what do you want? She said it was important.” The younger boy’s voice sounded impatient. Seifer’s brows furrowed.

“It’s not really that important. I was just looking for someone to join me tonight.” Instantly he kicked himself for his phrasing. “What I meant was-“

“Sure. Where?”

Seifer was struck dumb. Squall’s distant ‘Hello?’ drew his attention back to the real world. “Really? Um, great! Uh, where? How ‘bout…” He rattled off his apartment address as it was the only one he could remember and then, after a quick good-bye, hung up. ‘Did that really just happen?’

Seifer glanced around, waiting for the world to dissolve around him and to find himself lying in his bed. When it didn’t after a few moments of intense scrutiny, Seifer leapt into the air letting out a cry of triumph. A few people near him on the sidewalk crossed the street and continued on their ways, passing him with weary glances.

Seifer didn’t care what they thought. ‘Squall’s coming to my house!’ He felt like a giddy little girl at the thought and shook himself. He stood up straight and ran a hand nonchalantly through his short hair and made his way toward his apartment building.

~ Heaven’s gates won’t open for me
With these broken wings I’m fallin’
And all I see is you
These city walls ain’t got no love for me
I’m on the edge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I’m callin’
And all I need from you
Hurry I’m fallin’ ~


Seifer lay on his bed with tears brimming on his eyes in his emerald eyes. ‘He didn’t come.’ He glanced at the clock. The bright green digital numbers told him it was after 1 o’clock in the morning. He heaved a sighed and let the tears fall. ‘He… he said he’d come.’ His heart ached at the letdown. He reached out and picked up the photograph. The smiles of himself and his desire mocked him. He willed a Fire spell into his hand and watched as the photograph slowly curled and charred at the edges and then drifted to the floor as ash.

Seifer rose from his bed and looked into the kitchen where he had prepared an elegant dinner for two. His face burned with shame and embarrassment for his faith in wishful thinking. He walked over and unceremoniously dumped the meal, dishes and all, into the garbage can. He walked back into his room and dug his bag out from under his bed. He pulled out a notebook of lined paper and began to write a letter.

Dear Squall,
I’ve had something to tell you for a while now… but I guess it doesn’t matter any more. By the time you read this, it won’t really matter what I feel. As I sit here writing this, memories of us together come to mind. The day at the beach in Balamb is one of the few happy ones…
The other is of the day that I gave you your scar and you mine. I can still feel the hot metal of your blade against my skin, though the wound is long healed. They say that old wounds can remain painful for years but mine never hurt in the first place.

I want to believe that you know why it didn’t hurt, but I know you don’t remember. That day, in the Training Center, you said something to me that never left me. You whispered it as your sword cut into me, daring me to hear your words. ‘I love you’. In that whisper soft admittance, you let free everything that I had kept trapped inside. I don’t know if you meant those words, or if you even remember then now. And really, I don’t care anymore. That you said them was enough.
Later, I learned that those words meant little to you. You shunned me, as though we had never known each other as friends. With those words you promised something to me. I called out to you when I needed you. You answered my call with one of your own, making false promises to come to me.
I wonder now why you didn’t come to see me. I can only guess at the reasons. But, your refusal has finally opened my eyes. That day on the battlefield, when we dueled, I lost our fight. You may have fallen first, but in the end, you have turned out to be the last one standing in the big picture.

- Seifer

He folded the paper and slipped it into an envelope. He dug around in his bag and pulled out a book of stamps. He sealed the enveloped and addressed it to Balamb Garden. He set the letter on his table and the turned away.

Seifer took a quick shower and dressed in his old Garden uniform and slid Hyperion into the sheath at his hip. He checked his reflection in the mirror and left the room. He made his way to the stairway and started the long climb up to the roof. The building only had seventeen floor, a relatively small building compared to most, but it was plenty tall enough for his purpose.

As Seifer reached the roof access, his hand froze over the doorknob. He shook his head and overcame the brief hesitation. He opened the door and walked out into the early morning darkness. He walked forward to the roof’s ledge and stepped up onto the ledge.

He stared down to the street below himself. He could just imagine what it would look like when he landed. People screaming in terror, calling for authorities. Or maybe they wouldn’t do anything, just go on with their days as usual, stepping around his corpse.

He could picture Squall walking down the street and seeing his body. The brunette would probably stop, stare for a moment and then mutter his characteristic ‘Whatever’ and continue walking.

Tears trailed down Seifer’s tanned cheeks and he let them fall to the street below him. He closed his eyes and drew forth his favorite mental picture of the brunette. He could see the stormy eyes narrowed, swirling catalysts of rage. His jaw was clenched to suppress pained sounds from escaping. A single red slash flamed across his face before the telltale red rivulets followed. He was, in a word, beautiful. His face was a perfect blend of pain and anger and it suited him best.

His hands clenched tightly on the hilt of his sword, one whose had left many wounds on Seifer in past battles. Seifer hadn’t been able to resist taunting the younger boy and beckoned him forward. Squall crouched, coiling his body tight to spring. He dove, leaving a trail of sparks behind his sword before he lifted it high enough to leave a corresponding slash across the blonde’s face. Seifer couldn’t be mad at him, even then.

Squall had tackled him when he made contact and landed on top of the older boy. Squall had closed his eyes as they fell to the ground but opened them again to stare into Seifer’s. While their eyes were locked, a single drop of Squall’s blood landed on Seifer’s lips, staining them a deep shade of red. Squall’s eyes moved down to his lips and he closed the distance between them. Seifer could taste the metallic flavor of blood mixed with the kiss and relished the action more because of it.

Seifer opened his eyes and looked back down at the street below him again. ‘We made love that day. It was after that he said it…’

He pictured Squall lying naked beneath him as he had been that day. The brunette’s eyes had been a smooth gray, like the sky after a storm. He stared up at Seifer and then opened his mouth to speak. “I love you Seifer… I always have…”

Seifer opened his eyes and ran his finger down his scar. Tears ran down his cheeks and he closed his eyes again. He drew in a deep breath and fell forward.

~ Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
I’ll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth saving me ~


Squall woke up screaming. “Don’t leave me Seifer!!!” Tears were coursing down his face. He quickly brushed them away with the sleeve of his jacket. He had fallen asleep in his clothes after an early morning training session. He glanced down at his hand and saw that it was trembling.

He jumped when his cell phone started ringing. He swallowed, took a deep breath and answered.
“Hello?”

“Hey Squall, its Rinoa.”

”Oh, hey. What do you want?”

“Well, a nice day to you too, jerk!”

“Sorry, what’s going on? You woke me up?”

“Kinda early for bed, isn’t it?”

“Whatever. What do you want?”

“Well, you heard that Seifer got kicked outta Garden, right?”

Squall frowned at the reference to Seifer so soon after his nightmare and he was quiet for a moment.

“Squall? Hello? Are you still there?” Rinoa called into the phone.

“Huh? Yeah, I heard. What about it?”

“Well, he’s staying here in Deling City. He’s new to the area and I was wondering if you could show him around town, since you know it pretty well.”

“Why can’t you do it?” He could feel that something was amiss, but he couldn’t place it.

“I have plans… Plus, he really needs to talk to you. It’s important.”

“Fine, what’s his number? I’ll give him a call.”

“No! You need to see him.”

“O-kay… I still need his number to find out where to meet him.”
Rinoa giggled. “Oh yeah, I forgot.” She rattled off the number while he wrote it down. Then he hung up, cutting off any more of her babbling.

‘Why does Seifer need to talk to me? Why can’t he just go to a bar or something to find someone to talk to?’ The mere thought of Seifer taking confidence in someone else was enough to have Squall dialing the number on the tail of his thoughts.

The phone on the other line rang only once before a familiar voice answered. “Hello?” There was a pause. “Hello? This is Seifer-

“I know who this is.” He hadn’t meant to be so sharp and winced at his own tone.

“Um, Squall?” The blonde’s voice sounded hesitant. Squall was instantly alert.

“Yeah… Rinoa just called and said I should give you a call.”

“Oh…” ‘Just ‘Oh.’?’ Squall shrugged.

“Well, what do you want? She said it was important.” ‘I really should stop asking that. People seem to take it the wrong way.’

“It’s not really that important. I was just looking for someone to join me tonight.” His voice faltered and he continued “What I meant was-“

“Sure. Where?” Squall cut in, and kicked himself for sounding so eager. As he mentally cursed himself, he noticed that the line had gone quiet on the other end. “Hello? Seifer? Hello?”
The other boy’s voice squeaked slightly. “Really? Um, great!”

“So, where do you want to meet?”

“Uh, where? How ‘bout…” Here he rattled off his apartment and Squall wrote it down quickly.

“Fine, I’ll meet you there at 8.” Then he hung up. ‘Did that really just happen?’ He shook his head and sighed. He rose and picked up his gun blade. He had planned to spend the entire day training but had pause for a nap. He shouldered his weapon and left for the Training Center.
Hours passed and Squall lost track of time. By a chance glance at the clock on the wall, he saw that it was already almost 12 o’clock. ‘Shit!’ He slid his gun blade into it’s sheath and sprinted toward his dormitory.

He barreled into his room and grabbed his cell phone. He searched frantically for the number he had written down but couldn’t find it. He dropped to his hands and knees and searched under his bed. He found the elusive slip beneath a sock and quickly dialed the number. The line on the other end rang out. Squall hung up and tossed Lion Heart onto his bed.

He sprinted for the front gates and pelted across the front courtyard. He dove into the Ragnarock and sprinted into the control room. The engines roared to life and he soared across the sky. He checked the navigation system and set an auto-pilot course for Deling.

When he was within 5 miles of Deling he prepared the ship for landing. He landed the ship in the main bus yard and was assaulted by a barrage of complaints by the drivers. He flashed his SeeD card and continued sprinting down the main street. He could see Rinoa’s house ahead and pulled out his cell phone. He sent a message to her and as he reached her door, she emerged.

“Squall! What’s the matter? Do you have any idea what time it is?” She caught his pace and they continued running toward Seifer’s apartment.

“Something’s wrong with Seifer!”

“What? What are you talking about? I saw him just this afternoon, Squall! He was fine!” She was gasping for breath when they finally started to slow in front of Seifer’s building.

“No! There’s something wrong here.” He tugged at the door but found it locked. “Damn it!” He kicked the door, cracking the glass. He kicked it again and it shattered. He dove through the broken door and pelted up the stairs.

He reached the tenth floor and slid to a stop in front of Seifer’s door. He checked his cell phone for the time. 1:10am. ‘Shit!’ He pounded on the door, shaking it on its hinges. Rinoa pulled up beside him just as one of Seifer’s neighbors whipped their door open.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?!” The older man glared at the two young people.

“Fuck you Gramps!” He hunched his shoulder down and slammed into the door. His second attempt sent the door flying open. “Seifer?! Seifer!” He ran into the room and was instantly aware that the apartment was empty. ’ His eyes landed on a small white envelope addressed to him. He walked over to the table and opened the envelope. His eyes scanned the letters contents and he felt his eyes start to burn with unshed tears.

His head snapped up when he heard a beeping sound coming from the bedroom. He set the letter down and walked through the door. Lying on the bed was Seifer’s trench coat. Squall’s blood froze at the sight. Slowly, he reached for the coat and reached into the pocket to retrieve the cause of the beeping sound.


Seifer could feel the wind whipping around him. He moved his fingers in his glove and felt the ashes of the burned photo rub softly against his fingers. A small smile came onto his face and he closed his eyes again. ‘Squall…’

~ Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth saving me
Hurry, I’m fallin’ ~


Squall looked down at the small device in his hand. The digital screen flashed bright blue: 1 Missed Call. He didn’t hear the screams come from the street or Rinoa screaming Seifer’s name from the window. He just stared at the small blue screen. A single tear slid down his face and the phone dropped from his hand. ‘Seifer…
~ Hurry I’m fallin’ ~