She'll Leave You With A Smile

Author Note: This is the precursor to \"Having Cake and Eating it Too.\"

I never told him what happened in my life after that night we said goodbye. I never saw him again, oh sure I got a few emails, but even those stopped after a few weeks. Now here I was right back where we met, fell in love, and eventually said goodbye. The memories flooding my mind were almost hauntingly painful.
I remember the night we said goodbye, I don’t think we actually said the word, but I know it was known I was leaving, and the probability of my returning here at that time was slim to none. He held me tight to his chest, kissed my forehead tenderly, as we sat on my sofa watching TV. Things between there and ending up in bed making love are just a blur, the making love was the one outstanding memory. I moved away to take a job as a US Marshall, Jackson stayed behind in Orlando to teach his class for the Navy. He was a true “Diggit”, someone who loved the Navy, I almost tend to think it means more to him than I or any woman in his life did.
Here I was, back in Orlando, almost two years to the day I left. My job required me moving here for the time being to help the Orlando Police solve a Rape/Murder case that was linked to some murders in my home state. Who better to send than someone who lived there? I’d already been here about three weeks before I decided to go out to the clubs. I was dancing in the club, a few drinks in me, dancing with some guy whose name I didn’t know, didn’t really care to know either, when I swore I saw Jackson walk in.
I still looked somewhat like he would remember me, long dark brown hair, green eyes, dark tanned skin, but about 50 pounds lighter- something about 130ish, at five and a half feet tall. He still looked just the same, tall, dark tanned skin, short black hair, green eyes, very muscular. I had to look twice to make sure it was him, my eyes did not deceive me.

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve had a woman in my bed, the last woman in my bed was Sara. That was almost two years ago now; I guess I’ve been too busy to go looking for a piece of ass. I miss Sara sometimes, but I know it was for the better that she left when she did. When I was in love with her, she was still married to Stephen, I was breaking all the rules to be with her, she meant that much to me. When Stephen threatened my career after Sara moved home, I knew then I had to let her go. My career meant too much to me to lose, as much as I loved her. Sara would never leave Stephen as much as I begged her to, I don’t know what she ever saw in him, hell, I don’t know what she ever saw in me for that matter.

It’s been raining all week here in Orlando, I thought it would be a good idea to hit a club called Mannequins, one that Sara and I went to a few times together back in the day. Rain makes me sleepy or depressed, figured I ought to do something constructive rather than destructive. I’ve been checking out this hot little dark haired woman on the dance floor, she looks fantastic from the back, and I’m curious as to if the front looks just as good. It doesn’t look like the guy she is dancing with is actually with her, so I’m safe there. I get a few beers in me with a shot or two and I get pretty brave, I’m almost ready to cut in on the guy and see what she looks like.

I knew it! It was Jackson, he’s leaning against the bar, knocking back a shot, most likely Jack Daniels. I see him start to head for the dance floor, and I get the sinking feeling that he is coming for me, I want to disappear into the crowd, but I know that won’t happen. I turn my back to him, still dancing with Mr. Nobody, and pray he’s not coming for me. My fears come true when I hear his unmistakable voice say, “Hey buddy, why don’t you go hit on some other chick?” Mr. Nobody’s hands come off my hips, and those familiar rugged hands come onto my hips, I can feel him grinding against my ass, feel him hard against me.

My God, her ass is amazing! It’s tight, firm, and round, the way I like ‘em. The guy that was dancing with her wasn’t hard to get rid of, my size alone made him go away. I can feel myself getting hard as I grind against her; she is very sexy, very hot. I wouldn’t mind bedding her tonight, if things go well. The smell of her perfume takes me back to memories of Sara; it’s the same kind she used to wear. I can’t forget that smell even if I tried; it makes me that much more hot just remembering. I lean down into her ear, I almost want to nip at it, but I know better to wait than ruin it right off, “Hey, I’m Jackson, what’s your name?” She turns around in my hands, looking at the floor, not looking at me. Her hands rest on my chest, I want to see her face. Her head comes up slowly, I can’t believe what I am seeing, I know those green eyes all too well, they haunt my dreams every night, Sara!

Oh God, he asked me my name; I had to turn around and show him my face. The look in his eyes is one of pure shock, of all places to find me, back here in Orlando. Jackson stands there with his hands on my hips, mouth gaping open, his face a look of disbelief. “Jack, I’m sorry.” is all I say to him before I tear out of his grip and take off running for the door. I should have never accepted this assignment, should have never came here. I run out of Mannequins, and onto the sidewalk, gulping the cool night air into my lungs. I need to get home, I need a shower. I raise my hand to hail a cab, and feel a hand grab mine.

Jesus, what the hell is she doing here? I thought she was gone forever and here she is. I don’t know what to think or to say, but I better get my ass moving, she just ran out the door. Her voice is just as I remember it being, but her body looks so much different than it used to, there’s a suppleness underneath the muscles, she wasn’t this thin when we were seeing each other, she’s been taking care of herself since leaving here. Stephen was a bad thing for her, if she is still with him, I don’t see how she has taken the time to make these changes. Christ! She almost ran out into traffic! I grab Sara’s wrist, pulling her hand down before the cab stops.
Her eyes burn like fire; I don’t think she is angry, I think it’s more pain than anything. My eyes plead with her, “Sara, wait, please talk to me.” Her bottom lip trembles as she takes a breath.

“Jackson, I shouldn’t be here with you. I shouldn’t be anywhere near here. Please let me go. I have to go home. Let me go.” I struggle against his grip, but it’s useless.
“I’m not letting you go til you talk to me, please Sara tell me what’s going on? I know you live more than two days drive from here, why are you here?” She struggles nst nst me, I tighten my grip a little more, I don’t want her getting away, but I don’t want to hurt her.
“Please Jack, I have to go home. Let me go. Please.” I know that pleading with him usually doesn’t work, but I’m hoping just this once that it will.
“If you want to go home Sara, you got to take me with you. I want some answers.” I know how bullheaded she can be sometimes, but I know that she won’t try and butt heads with me, if anything she’ll give in. She takes a deep breath, the tension in her wrist eases, and she hangs her head in defeat.
“Alright Jack, come on. I’ll tell you why I am here on the way.” I knew better than to fight with him, it’s always been easier that way. I hail another cab, we get in, and I tell the driver where to go. Jackson’s holding my hand, his fingers rubbing against my nails, I take a deep breath and start in. “I’m here working on a case with the Orlando PD. I’ve been here for three weeks so far, I don’t know how much longer I will be here still. I only came here because OPD wanted someone who lived here before, and I’m a pretty well known investigator. I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in the last two years, but my life’s been busy since I left here. You gotta believe me when I tell you that, I never forgot about you.”

I’d read about some of the busts she’d spearheaded over the years, hell, some of them made national news, at least the papers. It wasn’t like I was following her career, kind of hard to miss when it was on the front page. I can understand how busy she had been, but I still question why she was here in Orlando. Was it really for work, or was work just a cover? I knew she knew I would be here at least three years, convenient she comes back around in two. It’s an odd thing seeing her so feminine, nails, long hair, makeup, I want to touch her more and make sure that’s still my Sara underneath the woman before me, but I don’t want her coming unglued on me for being too pushy. I think I almost pushed the limit so far, br nor not chance it anymore. I can understand her not forgetting about me, she still haunts my dreams sometimes, what we had together was strong, real, and very deep. It’s been too hard to even try and let go all these years. I’d rather sleep with the ghost of her than ruin myself with someone else.
“Sara, I know you’re here because of your job, but you knew I would still be here. I don’t think it was just some coincidence that you were in Manny’s the same night I was. I’ve never let go of you, we never said goodbye that night. You know how much I hate that word, it’s so final.”

“ I know you think I am y ory or something, but in the back of my mind I was kind of hoping beyond hope that you would be at Manny’s tonight. It wasn’t the first thought in my mind, it surely wasn’t the last either. The first priority on my mind was my job, seeing how I was tracking a suspect for my case in there. He’d left about twenty minutes before you walked in. I couldn’t forget us even if I tried Jackson, and it’s been tough these few years. “ I get quiet as the cab pulls up outside my townhouse, I pay the driver and get out, Jackson follows me, although I sense a bit of tension in him. I don’t know if it was such a good idea bringing him here.

I wonder if I am walking into a trap, I don’t know if she is still with Stephen. He would kill me on sight if he saw me, I hesitate at the door, but my instincts tell me to move onward. I have to trust her, she has never put me in a situation before, it was my own fault why I almost lost my career, I mouthed off to Stephen when I should have kept my damn mouth shut. I follow her inside, damn, the Marshall Service really put her up for this job. It’s a huge townhouse, fully furnished, and she isn’t the only one living there. There’s a blonde haired girl sitting on the sofa reading a book. She looks up when we walk in, giving me a quizzical look. I wonder who she is, I never recall Sara mentioning a person like this in her life before. The first thought in my mind is that Sara’s turned lesbian, since there is no Stephen in sight, but I don’t think Sara would do something like that, at least I hope not.

“Emile, meet the infamous Jackson.” I say to my long time friend and housemate, Emile. She and I met a long time ago when I was still married to Stephen, Emile is from England. She stuck by me through a lot of my troubles with Jackson and Stephen, eventually moving over here to help me out when I had only her and my sister, Reiley, to rely on. Her eyes get big and her mouth falls open somewhat, “You’re serious Sara? This is Jackson?” “Yep, in the flesh.” Emile gets off the couch, closing her finger in the book she was reading, and begins to look Jackson over. “He does look somewhat like you described him to me so long ago, just seems a lot bigger than you described him. Oh well, mate, I’ll leave you two alone, I have a lot to get done tomorrow. Goodnight.” “Goodnight Emile, I’ll take care of what’s left to do tonight.” Emile nods, heading up the stairs. I don’t think she was too impressed with Jackson being here, but she knows that my life is my life, and I do things my way, usually.

So, that was Emile, her friend from London. I’d heard some about her while Sara and I were seeing each other. Emile and Sara are very close friends, almost like sisters. I still wonder where Stephen is, I don’t want to ask, but I really want to know. Sara is taking off her shoes and socks, dropping them by the laundry room door. I toe off my boots by the door; I remember how picky she is about shoes on the carpet. “Sara, where’s Stephen?”

“I figured you would ask that. Stephen and I got divorced about two years ago, right after I left here pretty much. Things just couldn’t go on like they were trying to, it was a bad situation all around. And no, I didn’t get divorced because of you either. I did it for myself, I needed to be without a man in my life for a while. Two years has been long enough. You know how I hate being alone.”

I know all too well how Sara hates being alone. I remember once when she wrapped herself in a blanket one cold winter night, after we had spent the night making love, walked outside in the snow barefoot to beg me to stay the night with her. It amazed me how much she loved me, I didn’t deserve someone like her then, and I don’t now, if she would even take me back. I had a hard time showing her how much I loved her, sometimes I just didn’t know how to. I was her whole world, she meant that much to me too, but I was stupid for never telling her that.

I grab a beer out of the fridge, crash landing on the couch. It’s been a long workday and I get the feeling it will be an even longer night. I look at Jackson sitting on the floor in front of me, eyeing me like a hawk as I drink the beer. His eyes are dark, ominous, something that used to set me on fire back when we were together, and at this moment it was doing something totally the opposite, making me wonder what he was thinking. I wished I’d never married Stephen, wished Jackson and I had stayed together, wish I had left Stephen back when Jackson was begging me to, but life has a funny way of teaching you lessons sometimes. I hear a noise from upstairs that makes me get up. I set my beer on the coffee table and stumble up the stairs. I walk into her room; she is sitting straight up in bed, softly crying. She’s had another nightmare, they’ve been more recurrent since we came to Orlando, and that worries me. She means the world to me; I’d give my life to protect her, anything for her.

I’ve never seen Sara like this, she’s aged considerably since we were together. I don’t mean in looks, she looks amazing, but in her actions, in her personality, she’s not as playful as she used to be. She seems more serious these days, I’m sure it is something I could get used to over time I guess. I take a long drink out of her beer before I get up off the floor ailenilently creep up the stairs after her. I find my way in the dark, listening for any sound to indicate where Sara was. I found her in the bedroom right off the landing. My eyes adjust to the moonlight coming through the window; Sara is sitting on the bed with a little girl’s head in her lap, stroking her hair. I never heard Sara was pregnant, much less had a kid! Her brother, Mike, used to work with me, he never mentioned Sara being pregnant. I know he went home for emergency family leave, and I didn’t think it was anything to do with Sara, when he got back he requested orders to go home and he was gone. Maybe this was the reason, if Sara wasn’t with Stephen, she really didn’t have anyone else to help her. I get the feeling that the girl is mine; so I open my mouth and insert my foot clean up to the hip. “She’s mine isn’t she Sara?”

His voice startles me, in the dark. It’s the tone he gets when he is irritated, not when he’s pissed, just irritated. It frightens me, as silent tears fall down my cheeks. I feel ashamed that I never told him about her, no one outside my family knew she was his. I nod my head in the darkness. “Yes Jackson, she’s yours. There is no doubting that. I’m sorry I never told you.” I pick her up in my arms, carrying her down the stairs. I lay down on the sofa, with her lying on my chest; pull a light blanket over us. Jackson followed me down the stairs, sitting next to the sofa on the floor.

I don’t know what to say, I keep looking at the girl lying on Sara’s chest. The more I look at her the more I see myself in her, the same dark hair, long like her mama’s, the dark skin like me, even some of her facial features resemble mine. I want to touch her, but I don’t want to wake her. I want to see her eyes; I want to know if they are the mine. I never had the responsibility of being a father, even when I was married, the kid my ex wife had wasn’t mine. I want to know everything about my daughter, but I don’t want to push Sara. “What’s her name? When was she born? Please tell me everything about her Sara, please.” I can see the tears welling up in her eyes, I want to take her in my arms and hold her forever, but I know how much I hurt her so long ago, I have to let her come to me in her own good time.

I take a deep breath and hope the tears in my eyes don’t fall. “Her name is Lakhota Dawn McCaffery. She was born ten weeks premature on your birthday two years ago. She is the reason Stephen and I split, he knew she was yours, and he didn’t want to raise her. I had no one but Mike, Reiley and Emile to count on when she was born. I sat beside her incubator for nights and days on end, pleading, begging with God to not let her die. I couldn’t even touch the glass that surrounded her, it killed me that much. My family all knew she wasn’t Stephen’s when she was born, it was pretty obvious. But I pushed on through life, trying to be the best Mom I could be for her and keep my job as a Marshall too. I’m sorry I never told you, I didn’t want you flipping out and run screaming from me. She means everything to me, she’s the lasting reminder of the love we had, of you. She is so much like you sometimes, it frightens and hurts me all in the same moment.”

Lakhota stirs as I touch her small hand, my fingers tremble, as I see her eyes open. “Unca Mike?” Her voice almost puts me in tears, I can feel them welling in my eyes as I look into hers. Her eyes are mine, the same color. Sara and I have almost the same eye color, except mine are browner. Lakhota is definitely mine there is no denying tha wan want to hold her, never let her go. Sara strokes her hair, “No honey, Uncle Mike is in Wisconsin remember? This is Jackson, your daddy.” Hearing Sara call me Lakota’s Daddy makes my breath catch in my throat. Never has being called Daddy meant so much to me as it does now.

My daughter bursts into tears, jumping off my chest and running up stairs, hollering for Emile. I look at Jackson, who looks like he is about ready to break down. “I’m sorry Jack, I never meant for her to meet you. I told her that her daddy was gone away and probably wouldn’t come back. I never told her that you didn’t know she existed. I figured Mike would have said something to someone at work and you would have caught wind of it. But then I remembered how pissed Mike was at you for being with me when I was with Stephen. Mike is the only male figure in her life, he treats her just like she‘s his, he knew you would never recognize her as yours, and he knew she needed someone as a father figure. Mike‘s been a great help over the years.” I get up, running my fingers through my hair, as I let out a deep breath. “If you want to go Jack I understand. It would probably be better if you did for now at least, I have to go take care of Lakhota.”

Sara is tired, and the night will only get longer as she tries to calm Lakhota. The poor kid looked scared as hell when she fully realized I wasn’t Mike. Hell, he and I look nothing alike, we’re about the same size, but that’s about it. I don’t want to leave; I want to be here with Sara and my daughter. I take Sara in my arms, for the first time in years, even now in this moment she feels just as she did then, the same tenderness, the same vulnerability as before. In my arms she never had to be tough, she never had to worry; I would take care of her. I just screwed up so bad when she left, I wish I’d done things right and kept in touch with her, but she never answered my emails. I want to kiss her and tell her everything will be alright, but she pushes away from me after just a few seconds.

“Yeah, you better go Jack. I don’t know if I can do this anymore, I don’t know if I can deal with us again. I don’t want things to end up the same way they did before. My life was tough these last few years, but I don’t want it anymore complicated with you in it.” I push him away from me, and turn to go up the stairs. “There’s a phonebook by the phone in the kitchen if you want to call a cab. I’ll see you around.” I reach in my pocket, pulling a $5a $50 and stuffing it into the front hip pocket of his jeans. ‘ It’s better this way.’ I keep telling myself as I head for the stairs.

She just fucking blew me off, like I just wasted the last 3 hours of my life for nothing! I don’t want to leave, I want to be here with her damn it! I grab her arm as she turns to walk away, spinning her around. I feel all the muscles in her arm tighten in defense, I don’t think she will hit me, but I know if she does it will hurt like hell. I never saw it coming as her other fist came around, clocking me right in the jaw. I hit the floor on my back; the shot caught me totally off guard. “Christ Sara! What the fucking hell?” I rub my jaw as a trickle of blood runs over my lip. She glares at me, I should have known better than to mess with her when she is worried, tired and somewhat angry. I pick myself up off her floor, heading for the door. Yeah she’s right, it is better that I leave. I pull my boots on, as I pull out my cell and call myself a cab. Might as well spend what’s left of the night sleeping and trying to stop my jaw from aching. I open the front door and step out into the night. Yeah this was a bad idea, as much as I love her.

Jesus! He should have known better than to grab me like that! He should have figured I would have fought back, and I hit him square in the jaw. He hit the floor like a ton of bricks, and his lip bled just a little. I feel so bad for hitting him, but damn, he should have expected it. I walk off up the stairs as I hear the front door slam shut. I know it’s over now, Jackson Holliday is gone for good. I find my daughter asleep in Emile’s lap, as I sit down next to them on the bed. “So I take it by the racket I heard that Jackson met her and you and him got in a scuffle?” “Yeah, she freaked when she realized it wasn’t Mike there and he tried to argue with me, so I popped him.” “Sara! You must be joking! You didn’t really hit him?” Emile’s eyes are wide, as she gapes at me. “Yeah, I clocked him right in the jaw. He should‘ve known better than try and grab my arm.” I pick Lakhota up, carrying her off to her bed, pulling the blanket up around her shoulders as I tuck her stuffed bear in with her. I kiss her forehead as she snuggles into the blankets, she is my world, no one will take her from me, no one.

My jaw aches like hell all the way back to my apartment on base, she got me pretty good. I toss the driver a $20 and tell him to keep the change, as I stumble out of the cab and up to my building. I’m starting to like this living alone thing, no one to clean up after but myself, but it gets a little lonesome sometimes. I pull my boots off at the door, falling onto the couch. I rub my jaw, as I feel the swelling getting worse, Geeze she hit me hard. I start unbuttoning my dress shirt, throwing it over the back of a chair as I head for the shower. Leaving a stream of clothes in my wake, I turn on the hot water, all I can think about is Lakota’s eyes, and how they haunt me. I never thought I would ever be Daddy to someone, and I wonder in the back of my mind if I will ever see my daughter again. Sara can be so stubborn sometimes, and I can be pretty pushy sometimes. I want to be part of Lakota’s life, but I don’t want Sara making it so I can’t be. I scrub my skin as I stand under the steaming water, my hands on the wall in front of me. My mind wanders back to the look in Sara’s eyes just before her fist connected with my jaw. She was afraid, a look I’d seen only one other time, the night I almost lost her. She nearly died right in my arms, and there was nothing I could do to help her. Sara doesn’t deal well with being afraid, she never did.
I turn off the water, and wrap a towel around my waist as I walk towards the freezer for a bag of ice. I grab an ice pack and put it up to my jaw. I wince at the cold on my wound, as I walk off to my bedroom. My bed’s been cold and lonesome for quite sometime now, like this night could have been any different. I shrug out of the towel, crawling into my bed; I lie on my side with the ice pack sandwiched between the pillow and me. What a night, and now I will have to deal with people asking me what happened tomorrow, yay. I close my eyes; the last thing I remember is seeing Lakhota looking at me before I fall asleep.
I jump awake as the alarm goes off, Christ! I’ve never had a dream that vivid before. I dreamed I walked into Sara’s house; found her with multiple gunshot wounds dead on the bedroom floor and my daughter hiding in the closet, scared senseless. I can’t shake the bad feeling it gives me; even as I put my uniform on to go to work. I wasn’t ever too hot on the idea of Sara being a Marshall, but I knew that I couldn’t stop her either, well, I could have, but I’m not getting into that. I study my new bruise in the mirror as I shave; it’s not as bad as I thought it would end up being. I don’t think I’ll ever see Sara again, as much as I would love to sort everything out right with her. But, I do want Lakhota in my life, she is my own flesh and blood, I have every right in the world to be in her life, as much as I piss Sara off. I rinse out the sink, brush my teeth and head for the front door. I take one last look around, I really need to clean this place when I get off work tonight, it’s looking pretty sorry.
The whole 10-minute drive across base, I’m thinking about Lakhota. I don’t want this ending up being a messy situation between me and Sara about her, I want to help in any way I can, but Sara is so stubborn sometimes about what she thinks is right. Sometimes I agree with her, other times I think she is dead wrong. Yeah, we could’ve butt heads pretty hard when we were together, but she usually gave into me back then. I’m really going to hate being at work today; it’s the last place I want to be.

The more I think about it, the worse I feel about hitting Jackson last night. I overreacted, and I need to apologize for it. I find Lakhota in her room, lying in bed, staring at her bear. I have to leave for work soon, but I always check on her before I go. I sit down on the bed, “Honey, what’s wrong?” She looks at me, then at the bear, ”Was that Daddy yesterday?” I feel like the world’s biggest asshole as I take her in my arms, holding her against me. “Yes, Baby, that was your Daddy last night. I’m sorry I never told you.” “Why you not with him? Why not a family?” I almost want to break down in tears, but I know she won’t understand. “It’s a long story, I’ll tell you when you’re a lot older. Maybe someday we could be a family with him, but not right now ok?” She nods, falling back against the pillows. “You be good for Emile ok? I won’t be home till late.” I kiss her as I get up to go. She snuggles back into the blankets to get a few more hours sleep.
I grab a bag lying next to my bed before I go downstairs. Emile is already having her morning cup of tea as I head for the door. “Hey mate, if you need me tonight for any reason call my cell ok?” I tell her as I put on my duty boots. “Are you going to be gone all night? You only take a bag to work with you if you plan to be gone.” “Um, yeah I’m going to be gone all night, at least most of it. We’re still watching the same guy, I hope we crack down on him soon. I want out of this town.” Emile nods as she continues to read the paper and drink tea. I grab my keys and head out the door, today is going to be a very busy day, I can feel it already.

God, it’s been a helluva day at work, my Chief asked me why I had a shiner on my jaw, and it seemed like everyone was staring at me every chance they got. I pull my keys out of my pocket awalkwalk towards my truck, all I want is to go home, get out of my uniform, take a hot shower and relax on the couch. I sit in my truck for a few minutes just soaking in the day, before I head for home. I wish I could make things better between Sara and I. But as long as she is pissed at me, I might as well forget it. It’s the nagging thought on my mind as I drive home from work. I get out of the truck outside my building, and slowly walk up to my front door.
I walk in the door, and can’t believe what I see, my apartment is clean, and I know when I left this morning it was looking pretty sorry. I walk through the house, seeing everything spotlessly cleaned. I walk towards the bathroom, stripping out of my uniform, leaving clothes behind me. That shower never felt so good, although I wonder how the hell my house cleaned it’s self while I was gone, unless one of my buddies was playing a joke on me.
I wrap a towel around me, as I walk out the bathroom aead ead for my bed. I stare in total disbelief when I see what’s in my bed!
Her brown hair waterfalls over my pillows, and her shoulders are bare underneath the blanket. Sara’s back is to me, her breathing slow and even, she’s asleep. I wonder how the hell she got in here, much less why. I was kind of an asshole last night, and I thought I would never see her again. Why did she take time out of her life to come here and clean my house? I shrug out of my towel; slowly and carefully crawl in bed next to her. Moving the blanket, I catch more than an eyeful of her, Sara never slept in clothes when we were together and it’s good to know that some things never change. I run my fingers over her bare thigh, she stirs gently, she’s been asleep quite awhile. I continue up her body, fingertips graze her nipples, her eyes slowly open.

It’s not hard to get into places you want to be, even if you really aren’t supposed to be there. I called a friend of mine who works on base in security, he picked me up at the office after work, dropped me off at Jackson’s building and I “let” myself into Jackson’s apartment. The place was in pretty sad shape, he hadn’t cleaned in awhile. Jack’s usually pretty organized and tidy, so I thought I would give him a hand and clean for him. I cleaned worse than I clean my own house, everything got cleaned. I even washed and ironed his uniforms. It took me a couple of hours to get everything cleaned. By the time I was done, I decided to take a little nap, so I dressed down and crawled into Jack’s bed. I figured I would be gone before he got home, but as I can see him lying in front of me, I guess I didn’t make it. I smile a sleepy smile at him, “Hey Jack.” I felt pretty good lying there wrapped up in his bed, warm, soft, relaxing. I reach out and caress his face with my fingertips; he smiles at me, “Hey sleepy head.” I cup his jaw in my hand, the side I hit last night, very tenderly, as I pull him towards me. I can’t shake the desire to kiss him, nor ignore the tight feeling between my legs. My lips brush his, as he nips on my bottom lip. My fingers run up and down his back, as he positions himself over me. His tongue teases my own, as I moan into his mouth. Jackson’s hands glide over every inch of my body, as if he never forgot what set my blood boiling. My body shivers underneath him, he growls into the side of my neck, “Aw baby, I’ve missed you so much all these years, my bed has been so cold without you.” His fingers trace my nipples, I feel my body arch up into him, it’s been way too long to go untouched.

She smells so wonderful; her body is so soft, warm and inviting. As I touch her, I realize it’s like we never said goodbye, her touch still sends sparks through me, her body still surrenders to me the same as it used to. I run my tongue over her nipples, Sara gasps, as I feel muscles tighten under my fingers. She wasn’t kidding when she said it’d been a few years since any man touched her, I had to be one of the last, if not the last. I want her with everything in me, feelings pent up over two years. I slip my fingers between her folds, finding her slick with want, as her body violently shivers underneath me. The pads of my fingers trace circles on her clit, I look up to see Sara’s lower lip tremble as her eyes glow like burning emeralds. I kiss every inch of flesh between her breasts down to her most sensitive flesh. My fingers are trapped inside her, as her body moves to match the movements of my fingers. I can smell her right there in front of me, what the hell, I’m going for it! My tongue flicks over her clit while my fingers caress her sensitive flesh into submission. Sara screams my name as her soul washes over my fingers, onto my lips; her body goes slack as she writhes in the ecstasy that I have given her. I know now that I was the last to touch her like this, only I could bring out this reaction from her.

I couldn’t help screaming Jackson’s name as I came hard and fast. It had been years since I last slept with anyone; Jackson being the last the night Lakhota was conceived. I never found anyone else I wanted like I wanted Jackson. Every time I found someone that I thought I wanted, I would go home, see my daughter, and find myself longing for her father. Now, I was here in his bed, at the mercy of his touch, there was no place I would rather be. My fingers tremble as I touch his face; Jackson kisses my palm as he smiles. “Did you like that baby?” I nod and smile wickedly, “Yes, it was amazing. But now I owe you as much pleasure as you gave me if not more.” I push him onto his back, as I nip on his ears, a deep growl escapes his lips as his body goes rigid. I kiss his jaw, his neck, his hazel eyes closed halfway, glassing over with lust. My fingers lovingly caress him, as he expels a soft breath. My tongue softly teases the head of his cock, while my hand grasps him just tight enough to please. I work him faster as his breathing becomes erratic, I want this, I want to please him as much as he pleased me. I stop what I’m doing to him, giving him only enough time to take a breath before I position myself above him, slowly lowering myself, wrapping him into my still slick, hot, molten being.
Jackson sucks a breath between clenched teeth, “ Mmmhhh…Baby, you still feel as good as I remember you being.” He says as I grind against him. Jackson’s hands rest on my hips and I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of him inside me once more. His hips move in time with mine, the muscles in my back tighten, I feel my orgasm coming. Jackson thrusts harder into me, my head swims with the tides rushing within me, my fingers dig into his chest, I throw my head back as a shudder wracks my body. “Oh God Sara!” Jackson spills himself into me, his body spasms with the force of pent up desire. I collapse onto his chest; he wraps his arms around me, kissing my forehead tenderly. “Wastedaka Ni Ye” is the last thing I remember him saying to me before I fell asleep.
I wake up hours later, my body still on the high from making love to her. I reach my hand over, finding only a empty blanket, Sara is gone. I get up out of the bed, pulling on a pair of jeans as I stumble into the hallway. I don’t hear or see her anywhere, but she cooked dinner for me, leaving it wrapped up on the counter. I smile at the gesture, as I heat it in the microwave. There is a note from her on the kitchen table, “Jackson, I’m sorry I had to go. My cell rang while you were sleeping, my team was in position to make the bust, I had to be there. I’ll be going back to Wisconsin with your daughter tomorrow, here is the number and directions to get to my home from your family’s place in North Dakota. Thank you for tonight, you made me feel amazing. Love, Sara.” I carefully fold the note, putting it in my clipboard for work. I will go to Wisconsin to see her and my daughter, I have to make things right. I smile as I hear the microwave go off, tonight has been one of the best nights of my life.