A Side Look At Life

These are just some original blurbs that i wrote about various things... in my life or around my life... There are others, and i\'ll add them to this eventually. Yeah... should probably say that none of the people descripted this are actually meant to represent real people... so no ones allowed to take anything the worng way =P

Black Widow

I wandered, in my body, soul and mind. When we had our last fight I broke inside. He yelled, I yelled back and eventually he
hit me and then I hit back. I stared, and stared before tears filled my eyes and I tore my way to the door, somehow grabbing my purse on my way out. I threw open the front door and ran out into the rain. It was pelting down, more ice than rain actually but since it was already January this was freakishly warm weather. I ignored the rain, ignored the tears as they froze when they ran down my face, ignored the way my ankle and knee throbbed from where I’d twisted them earlier. When my anger, my pain, my fear that he’d follow me and my adrenaline finally ran out and I dropped to the pavement. It took all of my remaining strength to drag myself over to the doorway of an apartment building door a couple of feet from me. I cried myself out while constantly asking myself the question Why? Why did he do this to me? How did this happen? Then suddenly it struck me. It was probably something I had done and all I had to do was go back to our apartment and ask what was wrong and how we could fix it. I smiled happily too myself, sure that we could fix everything up and our relationship would be as good as new. I got up and headed back towards the apartment, humming happily. I was halfway there when I stopped my smile fading as I remembered that I couldn’t fix our relationship. Then I shrugged and started walking again, smiling an evil smile. “Oh well,” I thought, “too bad I killed him. I guess it’s time for a new relationship.” No wonder they call me a black widow.


A Lament to the Truth

Death. Dying. Eyes closing, breathe stilling, soul leaving. The final darkness closes in. You stay. Floating. Suspended in darkness, not wanting to go to the comforting light but wanting instead to go to the bright light behind. Trapped. Cut out of the tapestry of life. No longer woven. Forced to come to terms. Questions arise and circle round and round and round. Life’s gone. Are those behind me fine? I don’t mind dying, for a cause or for sacrificing my life for another. Suicide is and never was realistic. Duty restrains. Holds me back. Won’t let me go. Do no harm. The creed restrains, comes back three-fold. More questions surrounding me, fighting to get out, fighting to be heard. Did I do anything meaningful with my life? Did I hurt too many people in my trying to escape? My life is unaccomplished and death will now complete nothing, nothing finished. Two bright lights equally spaced now race towards me. Time for contemplation is over. The car strikes and darkness claims again – permanent, spiraling, stopping. Tears and pain. Stillness. Total Stillness. The Calm Before the Storm.


The Battle

The battle rages around me but I stand in the middle of it all, there, yet detached. I watch as things come from the other side. Things – demons, black spiked things that the mages had sent. And we were helpless to stop them. I watched in horror as they ripped apart our front lines. I watched them kill friends, people I had grown up with, people that I called family. What was I even doing here? I was an assassin. I had been trained since I was three. I was now 23, 5 years past the “assassin expiry date” so to speak. But there was a secret that I had kept hid from everyone. Even my husband. My eyes burned with unshed tears, but I hadn’t cried in 18 years so I wouldn’t start yet. He was… had been a mage and he’d been one of the first ones killed right in front of me. I blinked and time seemed to slow as the demons slashed their way to the second line and then on to the third. I made my decision. Around me I could hear spirits whispering that this would cost me my life, was that something I could really give up? And my answer was yes. I dropped my bloody sword on the ground, oblivious to the blood and gore that covered me already. Then I knelt down on the ground and called forth my magic. Magic that I had never shown to anyone before, even to myself. I called lightning, I called ice and most terrifyingly I called demons. Red to their black, flame to their shadow. I clung to myself long enough to make sure I had eliminated the demons before collapsing onto my back. I stared up a bright sunny sky that was entirely out of place in this day of terror. I sighed, smiled, knowing I was going to rejoin my husband, and let my soul go. As I rose from my body and drifted towards the sky I saw our side began to overtake the other, despite our losses. I smiled again and sent them my own prayer. I would meet them all in Hell anyways.


Crystallized


Isn’t is amazing the way something can be so incredibly beautiful and at the same time so incredibly deadly? Think of a snow storm. It will always start innocently enough, as a simple gathering of storm clouds. Then the clouds begin to darken and they become more and more ominous. Then suddenly the storm overhead breaks. Snowflakes begin to fall softly and slowly. First only a few fall but then more and more until millions of snowflakes fall from the sky in a dance of death. Then a wind appears and the snowflakes begin to hurl themselves at you, trying desperately to blind you before they hit the ground. Soon it becomes nearly impossible to see anything but white and the wind sends snowflakes down your shirt. The wind blows fiercer and you begin to go numb. When you finally lose all feeling, you fall, and the snowflakes gently cover you. Night falls, then fades. When the morning sun rises again all that can be seen is a sparkling blanket of white. Crystallized ice. You’d never suspect anything was under it. Beautiful and breathtaking. Though I’d say that you’d seen the deadly beauty firsthand. Enjoy your crystal grave.

The Basics


Lack of knowledge. Everyone is born knowing absolutely nothing except: live. As life progresses you learn more things. How to eat, who your parents are, who you are, how to talk, how to walk, etc. These are the basics of who we are. These are the basic things that every one of us knows. Then suddenly we get older again and then suddenly we’ve been enrolled in school. In school, where we will be for the next 14 to 18 or so years of our life we learn more. Here is where we learn everything that is necessary in our life. As we get older still, we get jobs, become parents and then grandparents. We never stop learning. But then as we sit our deathbed and contemplate what we’ve learned we realize that the basics that we learn are the beginning of our quest for knowledge. Then we dig deeper into this and realize the terrible secret of our existence. We’ve learned many things, all that we can personally learn, and yet we know absolutely nothing.