Losing His Religion

Title: Losing His Religion
Author: MakaiKitty
Rating: NC-17
Category: Original Fantasy
Warnings: Slash, M/M, vampire on priest sex, deflowering of a catholic priest, suicide
Distribution: My website, My LJ and any LJs I choose to post at, AFF.net, FicWad, and DeviantArt. All of my accounts are under the user name MakaiKitty. If you\'d like to use it just let me know.
Status: Complete

Losing His Religion

He sat quietly, watching the fire as it created shadows that danced across the walls of the small room in which he sat. His pale blue eyes were unfocused, his brow was furrowed, and his mind was trapped deep in thought as his hand traced absentmindedly at the now forgotten book laying in his lap. He knew that he was no longer alone, but he had no intentions of acknowledging his unwelcome visitor. The creature standing in his doorway already occupied most of his waking thoughts, as well as the darker realms of his dreams ... must he invade his sanctuary as well?

\"Connor.\" The voice was deep and rich, and it caressed his skin with an almost physical sensation. It was wicked, and decadent, and so very enticing. And nearly impossible to resist. \"Haven\'t you learned by now that you can not ignore me?\"

\"Leave me alone Dorian.\"

\"Oh, now you know that I won\'t do that.\" Dorian said with a snicker as he walked further into the room, flipping his long red hair over his shoulder with a flourish as he sat down uninvited across from the still unmoving Connor. \"Didn\'t you learn that lesson after your ridiculous little exorcism?\"

Connor gave a short, humorless bark of laughter before returning to his silent contemplation of the flames. Somewhere in the back of his mind, in some illogical, primal place buried deep in his subconscious, he hoped that if he stared long enough at the flickering orange tongues of fire that they might yield up to him the answers that he so desperately sought.

\"Aren\'t you happy to see me Connor?\" He ask with a quirk of his full, deep red lips. The tips of his fangs caught the light from the fire, glinting dangerously in the shadowy confines of the darkened room. He was used to their games by now, so he would play along if that was what the other man wanted. After all, the hunt was often as fun as the conquest.

\"No.\" Connor answered automatically.

\"You shouldn\'t lie to me, priest. It\'s against your vows.\"

\"Don\'t speak of my vows. You know nothing of them.\"

\"I know more than you think.\" The vampire said with a knowing glance. The first time that he had entered the priest\'s quarters the dark haired man had tried to shout scriptures at him, attempting to drive away the nefarious demon that had appeared before him. He had delighted in correcting a few of the misquotes that had come out of the holy man\'s mouth, laughing gleefully when the priest had finally collapsed to the ground after shouting himself hoarse. \"However ... I\'ll ignore your vows when you decide to do the same.\"

\"Dorian.\" The warning in his voice was weak at best, the fight having long since left him. The vampire had appeared to him every night for the past six months, offering sins and temptations that the priest tried desperately to refuse. It was becoming more and more difficult each time, and it had left him weary to the bone. He was tired. Tired of pushing the handsome vampire away ... and of denying what was truly in his heart.

\"Just give in and it\'ll all become so much easier, my sweet. I promise.\" He was beside the other man\'s chair in an instant, his movements all but invisible to the human eye, and he whispered his words into the raven haired man\'s ear as his warm breath caressed his skin. He had been trying for so long to make the priest his, and he felt that tonight he would finally be victorious. He only needed a little more persuasion.

Clear blue eyes looked up into glittering golden orbs that seemed lit from within by an inhuman passion. They held the promise of so many sinful pleasures, of a dark fruit that he had longed to taste for so long, and he felt his resolve crumbling in the wake of such intensity. He had fought his urges for so long, but he didn\'t have the willpower to do it any longer. He wasn\'t sure that he had the desire to do it either. He just wasn\'t that strong.

When the vampire\'s long, graceful fingers reached up to scrap teasingly along his jaw he let himself lean into the touch and his lips finally formed the words that he had longed to say, \"I concede.\"

\"What was that?\" The vampire ask, leaning in to whisper hotly against the priest\'s ear. He inhaled deeply, drinking in the spicy aroma of the other man as he let his long, tapered nails trail down the graceful column of his throat. He longed to taste that tempting stretch of flesh, but he wanted nothing less than complete surrender. And he would wait until the raven haired man gave him exactly that. \"I\'m afraid that I didn\'t quite catch that.\"

\"I said I concede!\" Connor said, his eyes snapping open to glare fiercely at the man standing above him. \"I give up. You win. Take me, if that\'s what you want.\"

\"I thought you\'d never ask.\" Dorian said as he finally claimed the priest\'s lips in a passionate embrace.

The scarlet haired vampire greedily devoured his soon to be lover as if he were the sweetest of delicacies, refusing to relinquish his mouth\'s hold on him even as he pressed the other man back into his chair and straddled his thighs. He was delighted when their new contact earned him a moan form the man beneath him and he knew then that he had finally won. There would be no further resistance from the previously reluctant priest.

It was true too. Connor no longer had the will to fight, and he reveled in the taste and feel of the other man. He tried to push all thoughts of his vows, the sinful nature of his attraction to the other male, as well as the golden eyed demon\'s vampiric nature from his mind, concentrating instead on the pleasure he was now feeling. He knew that he would be damned for his actions, that he could never be forgiven for allowing such a thing to happen, but as the man in his lap thrust his tongue into and out of his mouth in a way that foreshadowed acts still to come he couldn\'t stop himself from bucking up into the warmth above him as he clutched helplessly at the vampire. Nothing else mattered but the overwhelming heat that was spreading throughout his body, making him light headed and drowning him in pleasures previously undreamt of.

Dorian finally pulled back from the kiss when he felt a new wetness against his lips, and he watched transfixed as a single droplet of Connor\'s dark crimson blood rolled down his lips to trace a pattern along the pale column of his neck. The vampire quickly followed the droplet with his tongue, groaning as he finally tasted the heretofore forbidden elixir of his lover\'s life-essence. He tasted even better than he had dreamt, and the blood-drinker hoped to taste more of him before their night together came to an end.

\"You\'re divinely delicious, my pale-eyed beauty. Did you know that?\" But he received no answer, the dark haired man beneath him still lost in his long denied pleasure. The unfocused look in the priest\'s eyes made Dorian grin wickedly, pleased with the responsiveness of his newest conquest. He had known that corrupting this dark beauty would be unbelievably fulfilling, but he hadn\'t expected him to be quite so yielding. It was a very pleasant surprise indeed.

\"Follow me.\" Dorian said, suddenly rising and walking towards the doorway opposite the one through which he had entered. He had decided that it was time to move on to even more pleasurable endeavors, and in order to do that he needed to get Connor out of the chair and into more comfortable positions. He had never exactly been a patient man, and six months was more than enough time to wait in his opinion. He wanted what was rightfully his. And he wanted it now.

\"Where are you going?\" Connor ask, his mind still slightly hazy and his breathing still labored. He had registered the loss of warmth, the lack of contact, but he still wasn\'t entirely focused. All that he knew was that he was alone again and he didn\'t want to be.

\"To your bedroom, of course.\"

\"Oh.\" Somewhere in his befuddled mind that statement made sense, so Connor stood up on legs that were only slightly shaky and followed the retreating figure through the doorway and into his small bedroom.

Connor had only just flipped on the light switch when he was roughly pushed up against the wall, his mouth claimed again in a demanding kiss that stole all of the breath from his lungs and left him a disheveled mess when the firey haired man finally pulled back. He marveled at the power of their kisses, wondering idly if he would be able to survive the more impassioned activities that they were leading up to. At the moment he could care less.

\"Undress.\"

\"What ...\" His mind still wasn\'t registering things properly, and the simple instructions suddenly seemed to be far too complicated for him to comply with. It was only when he was pushed in the direction of his bed that he began to comprehend, and his hands automatically reached down to untie the sash of his burgundy robe as he completed the short journey to the mattress. He paused momentarily as he came to the waistband of his pajama pants, but he had known long before they had entered the bedroom that there would be no going back and he closed his eyes as he let his final garment fall to the ground.

His eyes remained closed as he climbed onto the bed, but even through his closed lids he could feel the eyes of the inhuman demon following his every move. His cheeks burned fiercely from the intense scrutiny and even though his eyes were closed he still turned his face away as he lay down, his dark, feathery hair forming a curtain to hide him from those prying eyes. If it hadn\'t been for the overwhelming craving that suddenly burned in every fiber of his being he would have gotten up, pulled on his robes, and demanded that the vampire leave and cease to torment him with such humiliating perversions. However, he had neither the will nor the ability to do any such thing, and so he hid his face in the pillows and waited for the other man to make his move.

He didn\'t have long to wait, and suddenly Connor felt a hot wetness rasp across his already sensitive nipple. His body felt like it was on fire, as if his nipple were inexplicably connected directly to his now throbbing cock, and his eyes flew open as his back arched and he let out a low, guttural moan of pleasure. He had never known his body would be so sensitive to such a simple touch, and he ached for more as his eyes locked onto the amused golden orbs of the vampire who was now perched above him.

\"Mm ... you blush like a virgin, but you moan like a whore.\" Dorian said as he teasingly ran his tongue across the peaked nub of flesh once again. \"I told you that you\'d enjoy yourself if only you would let me show you how. Now don\'t you regret having waited for so long?\"

He had no answer to give, and instead he uttered a series of whimpers and low, keening moans as Dorian began to explore every inch of his highly sensitized body, tweaking his nipples and suckling at every bit of available flesh that he came across. The skin under his talented tongue soon became tinged with sweat, the deliciously salty mixture of flavors intoxicating his senses, until Dorian looked up to see that Connor\'s eyes were once again screwed tightly shut and his head was thrown back in ecstasy. The previously chaste priest looked so utterly wanton as he yielded to his passions, and Dorian could feel his cock hardening in response to the decadent sight before him. If he wasn\'t careful he would cum just from watching the beautiful man writhing beneath him, and he most certainly did not want that to happen. He had great plans for his raven haired vicar.

Without Connor noticing it Dorian had reached over to his bedside table and removed the bottle of lotion that he kept there, and before he knew what was happening he felt a warm hand between his slightly parted thighs, followed by the feeling of something pushing insistently at his virginal opening. He let out a gasp of shocked surprise as Dorian\'s finger was forcefully inserted into him, and he bucked at the unfamiliar sensation of being invaded, trying unsuccessfully to dislodge the thrusting digit from within him.

His pale eyes stared accusingly up at the man above him, but this didn\'t discourage Dorian in the least and he continued to push his finger into the tight embrace of Connor\'s opening until he felt the man beneath him beginning to accept the intrusion. Without pause he added a second finger into the prone man and began to stretch out his tightness, preparing him for something much more substantial that was soon to come.

By the time he had inserted a third finger Connor had begun to moan and writhe once again, even cursing wickedly under his breath as his body was rocked in time to Dorian\'s thrusting. Dorian looked down at the man beneath him with a sadistic grin on his face as he gently curled his fingers, searching for something that would send the other man into new levels of enjoyment. He knew that he had found it when the other man\'s body practically bowed in half, a choked scream attempting to escape from his suddenly raw throat.

\"Admit it,\" Dorian said, leaning over the panting priest to whisper heatedly in his ear, \"... you love the feeling of a man\'s hot flesh inside of you.\"

Connor only whimpered in response as another wave of pleasure assaulted his already abused body. He wasn\'t sure that he could handle much more, especially with Dorian whispering such depraved words in his ears. He felt like he was about to break, to shatter into a million tiny pieces, and he wasn\'t sure that the vampire would be able to put those pieces back together again. He wasn\'t even sure that he would want him to.

\"You\'re ready for me.\" The vampire finally said, his silky voice stimulating his lover as much as any touch, before removing his fingers from the other man and standing up. He was enjoying playing with the repressed priest, but enough was enough. He didn\'t think that he could take much more, let alone the inexperienced man laying prone on the bed. He was ready to claim his prize.

As Dorian began to undress he watched the lithe form laying across the mattress, pleased with the toll that he had wrought on Connor\'s body. His obsidian hair was plastered to his skin, his heaving chest glistened with sweat, and his pale blue eyes were slightly unfocused and hazy from passion. It was the way that he had always imagined the holy man, and he was overjoyed to find that his imagination hardly did the man justice.

However, one thing that did not please him was the fact that Connor was currently rising to his knees, settling on all fours and attempting to give his vampiric lover his back.

\"Oh no, my pretty little lover ... not like that. Turn around and face me. I want you to see who it is that\'s fucking you.\"

Connor hesitated for a moment, uncertain as to rather he could comply with the other\'s request. He was certain that looking into those golden eyes would be his undoing, and he wasn\'t certain that he could survive such intensity. But he was equally certain that the vampire would settle for nothing less than complete obedience. To attempt to fight him would be futile. So he turned around, laying on his back once again, and found himself face to face with the now completely nude form of his lover.

Dorian\'s long, flame colored hair was now free, cascading down his body in luxuriant waves, his golden eyes glinted brilliantly in the dim light of the bedside lamp, and his pristine alabaster skin seemed to glow from within with an unnatural light. Looking at the unearthly beauty in front of him Connor was more certain than ever that Dorian was a demon sent from Hell to tempt and torment him for his immoral desires ... and at the moment he truly welcomed his fall from grace. Surely even God could not have conceived of such sinful perfection.

\"Much better.\" Dorian said, seeing the utter surrender in Connor\'s ice blue eyes, before claiming his lips in a deep, possessive kiss. It was now a certainty that he would finally be able to claim what was his without any further resistance. The months of tempting, teasing, and seducing would finally pay off. And as their nude bodies finally touched for the first time it all seemed worth it.

As their kiss lingered on Dorian forced his eyes to remain open despite the overwhelming urge to shut them, to give himself over to the moment and drown in the sensation of Connor writhing beneath him as their lips pressed together and their tongues slid urgently against oneanother. He had demanded that the other man look at him, and he in turn would not miss a moment of Connor\'s surrender.

When blue finally met gold they both knew that it was time to fully consummate their strange relationship. They had both waited long enough. Connor spread his legs wide as if in response to some unspoken command, and without any further delay Dorian plunged his cock deep into his lover\'s welcoming heat, fully sheathing himself with one forcefully thrust.

They both moaned long and low at the intensity of their new found connection. Dorian was in awe of the hot, tight grip that Connor\'s body held on his aching manhood, and in turn Connor was overwhelmed by the amazing feelings of suffering and fulfillment that the other man\'s presence in him was causing. Neither had ever known such all encompassing pleasure before in their lives, and both doubted that they ever would again. Despite all of the protests that Connor had put forth, saying that it would be wicked and wrong, it felt so incredibly right to the both of them in the end.

\"Oh God!\" Connor finally shouted, giving voice to his passions at last.

\"I\'m your god now.\" Dorian growled before leaning down to claim his lover\'s lips in another demanding kiss, pulling back and thrusting his cock into the man beneath him at the same time. He would show the priest who he truly belonged to. He would burn his mark into him, inside and out, and would have him screaming his ardor before he was done with him. He would accept nothing less.

Moans and heated words mingled in the air as their bodies collided over and over again, Dorian driving deeper with each thrust as he sought to bring his lover to the panicle of passion. For his part Connor had completely abandoned his previous reservations and he was clinging desperately to the slick body of the vampire who was invading him, claiming him, body, mind, and soul. The two men each bit and clawed at whatever flesh was available to them, desperate to taste, to touch, to feel just a little bit more of the other. They desperately sought their releases, determined to bring each other over the edge and into the dark abyss of completion.

Finally he had reached his limit and Connor could take no more. He came, screaming wordlessly, at the same time that he felt the man above him spilling his essence deep within him. The feeling of Dorian inside of him, marking him in a way that no other ever had, caused him to arch violently beneath the other man and he screamed again as he reached yet another zenith of intense pleasure. He felt like it could go on forever, the mixture of pleasure and pain nearly driving him to madness, and he both longed for it to stop and prayed that it never would.

At long last Dorian\'s body stilled and Connor was finally able to breath again. His lungs suddenly felt like they were on fire, and he greedily drank in the life giving oxygen, feeling rather than hearing his companion do the same thing beside him. For a long time the two men could only lay side by side, learning to breath again, their labored breathing the only sound in the room. Connor felt as if his body had been through Hell and back, to the very edge of the abyss and beyond ... but at the same time he had never felt more alive before in his life. Heaven and Hell all at once.

But now that it was over he was once again in Purgatory.

Waiting until his partner had fallen into a sort of half sleep, hovering somewhere between wakefulness and slumber, Connor slowly got up and walked on shaky legs into the small connected bathroom. His body felt sluggish and sore, but not in an entirely unpleasant way. He had to smile when he saw his disheveled appearance in the mirror, his hair clinging wetly to his face, his eyes shiny and bright, his skin still tinged with a rosy flush. He looked well and truly ravished, thoroughly debauched ... and he felt that he had never looked better. He hated to admit it, but the vampire may have been correct. He had needed this.

However, despite the fact that he felt refreshed and alive, despite the fact that his body practically vibrated with the pleasant feeling of afterglow, and despite the fact that he felt more vibrant and free than he could ever remember feeling before, it didn\'t change the facts of what he had just done. He had truly meant every last one of the protests that he had given to the vampire over the past several months, and the fact that he had enjoyed his defilement didn\'t change any of that. He knew it in his heart that what he had done was wrong. That he was now well and truly damned. And he knew exactly what he had to do to rectify the situation. He was only glad that he had gotten to experience such fulfillment just once, even if it was the pivotal moment in his fall from grace. At least he had known just once what it felt like to be needed, to be wanted, and maybe even to be loved. Perhaps in the end that made it all worth it.

Picking up a straight razor from the edge of the sink Connor didn\'t hesitate as he drew the blade across his jugular, easily parting the skin and releasing a spray of hot crimson blood. He had thought about doing this so many times, had placed the razor to his throat only to faultier at the last moment, but now that his dark dance with the vampire had at last come to an end he finally felt free to commit his final sin. His damnation would now be complete.

\"God has forsaken me.\" He whispered, dropping the razor as his strength began to ebb.

\"He may have abandoned you, but I never will.\"

\"Dorian.\" He felt himself falling towards the ground, but he was stopped by the vampire that had suddenly appeared behind him. He could see his long, firey hair mixing with the sticky crimson of his blood in the mirror as he was embraced from behind by the taller man and in his rapidly dimming mind it seemed like the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen.

He willingly leaned back into the strong arms of the golden eyed being behind him, welcoming the gentle support that he was offered. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was grateful that the would not meet his end alone, and the man behind him suddenly seemed more angel than demon to him. If he had still had the strength he would have laughed at the image of Dorian as a holy demon, offering both salvation and damnation in the form of his lustful depravities. A beautiful devil come to welcome the sinner on his way to the everlasting fires of Hell.

He had allowed his eyes to slip shut, his lips forming a blissful smile as he thought of the wicked paradox that held him enthralled, when he suddenly felt a strange sensation pulling at the gaping wound he had inflicted upon himself. He slit open his eyes, watching in the mirror as a greedy mouth suckled hungrily at the bloody mess of his throat, eagerly drinking in his essence. He couldn\'t suppress the moan that formed unbidden from deep within him as he felt his life slowly being drained away by the other man, and he watched with an almost hypnotic fascination as Dorian fed from him, pale blue eyes locking onto impassioned golden ones in the reflective surface of the mirror.

Connor was so captivated by the sensations of the vampire drinking down his life\'s blood, the sight of flaming hair against his pale skin, and the powerful hold of Dorian\'s glittering eyes that he failed to notice as the other man picked up the discarded razor and drew it across his own flesh. He didn\'t realize anything had happened until the found the erotic vision in front of him blocked by the bloody wrist of the demon that held him.

For a long while his mind couldn\'t register what was happening, and he stared dumbly at the appendage being presented to him. It wasn\'t until the bloody mess was pressed against his mouth, his lips parting automatically to take in the mixture of the salty flesh and the strangely sweet elixir pouring forth from it, that he understood what the vampire meant to do.

\"No Dorian. Stop.\" He said, futilely attempting to push the stronger man away from him. This wasn\'t how he had planned on ending things. This wasn\'t a part of his plan. He couldn\'t accept what was being offered him. He couldn\'t.

Dorian ignored his pleas and pushed his wrist up to Connor\'s mouth once again, still suckling at the gradually slowing flow of blood streaming out of the suicidal man\'s neck. He had worked too long and too hard to let the other man go now. He would not be denied what was rightfully his.

\"I\'ll never forgive you.\" Connor said weakly, moaning desperately as he was forced to take the tainted flesh into his mouth once again. He wanted to push him away, to make him stop this foolishness, but his hands wouldn\'t move to dislodge the other man. His body was betraying him ... as was his heart. Even as his mind screamed for him to stop, reminding him that he was meant to die for his sins not to live forever to commit even more of them, he felt his resolve leave him. It somehow felt so right, and he began to drink greedily despite his reservations.

\"That may well be,\" the vampire said hotly, \"but I\'ll never let you go.\"

Those words were somehow comforting to Connor as his world went black. Comforting both because he knew that they were not the last he would ever hear ... and because he knew them to be true. Perhaps his god had forsaken him, but he knew now with utter certainty that there was someone who never would.

THE END