.Shrinking/Shrunken Purity Test

By: keithcompany

folder Original - Misc › Humour

Rating: Adult +

Chapters: 1

Views: 2,331

Reviews: 1

Recommended: 0

Currently Reading: 0

Category: Original - Misc › Humour

Rating: Adult +

Chapters: 1

Views: 2,331

Reviews: 1

Recommended: 0

Currently Reading: 0

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.

Shrinking/Shrunken Purity Test

Disclaimer: This work, at least on this page, is my own. The characters are my own. Do not repost this story beyond the limits of the Fair Use standards of Copyright Law (quotes, examples, "Hey, you gotta read this" excerpts, the usual). the author is not making any kind of profit from this fanfic.
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Above, by the chapter title, is a link that allows any reader to add their own chapter. Suggestions and additions are invited and welcome.
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Are you turned on by the idea of a larger lover?
…an extremely larger lover?

…outrageous disparity between scales of lovers?

An invitation to play catch makes you hope there is:

…a ball
…a really soft mitt
…a parachute

Do chihuahuas scare you?
Can you tell when people are fabricating growth/shrinking experiences?
Do delivery men confuse your house with your mailbox?
Does the ‘Chipmunk Song’ sound normal to you?
Does the vacuum cleaner exacerbate your feelings of nameless dread?
Does the garbage disposal highlight rather specific dreads?
Does your personal living space meet the requirements of a ‘clean room?’
Does your copy of the Kama Sutra have an appendix for adjusting positions due to differences in scale?
Does you significant other keep spelunking books with your sex manuals?

Has your significant other ever mistaken you for another person?
…for another species?
…for lint?

Have the illuminatus attempted to recruit you to spy on their rivals?

Have you and your partner ever discussed the use of a control word?
... have you and your partner ever chosen a control word?
... have you ever used that control word?
... have you ever carried a bullhorn for the express purpose of ensuring your partner heard the control word?

Have you ever used the phrases:

…What have you done to me?
…When will it wear off?
…You’ll never get away with this?
Was maniacal laughter included in the reply?
…was it the entire reply?

Has your status as a human ever been questioned in court?
...by the Supreme Court?
...by the CDC?

Have you ever practiced safe sex inside a condom?

Toothpicks are for

...personal hygiene
...self defense
...firewood
...constructing shelter

When you walk down the street, do:

…people gather
…children point and call out names from nursery rhymes?

Which of the following details are important for having a satisfying evening with your significant other:

…batteries for the shrink ray
…ramp access up to the bedroom
…ramp access up to the bed
…Physics Department of MIT on speed dial

Which of the following turns you on:

…leather restraints
…shoestring restraints
…rubber band restraints
…those little wire doohickeys that hold action figures down
…magnifying glasses
…microscopes
…tweezers
…Q-tips
â–¡When you play footsie with someone, is a referee necessary?

HAVE YOU EVER:

been having a conversation and been accused of using helium?
used a gel capsule on your Halloween (or other masquerade) costume?
…AS your costume?
been invited to endorse the Science Fiction Museum?
…been invited to be an exhibit in the SFM?
...been approached by the SciFi channel for a ‘reality’ series?
been marked, scratched or bitten by a lover?
...because they couldn’t hear you?
...as a means of blazing your location/exit route?
been nicknamed for a behavior pattern of yours ('Sleepy')?
been nicknamed for something you can fit into (“Breadbox”)?
been on Oprah?
...and they had to redesign the set to get you on screen?
had sex in the back seat of a car?
... in the front seat?
... under the seat?
... in the ashtray?
communicated with your partner by semaphore when you were in the same room?
declined drugs because the dosage was too difficult to calculate?
flirted?
...did they notice?
gone skinny dipping?
...in something served as part of a meal or other refreshment?
...and not been seen?
gotten intimate on a rooftop?
...of a doghouse?
...of a dollhouse?
had anything pierced?
...did they need a magnifying glass?
had sex with your partner and they didn’t know?
ordered chemicals or particle accelerators under a false name?
been picked up in a bar?
...by your clothes?
...by a limb?
received a sex toy?
...that was crafted from a dental tool?
...that was crafted from lint?
shoplifted?
...BEEN shoplifted?
slam danced?
...and no one noticed?
taken a physics or biology class mainly to control your size?
...or the size of another?
...did it work?
worn clothing that was revealing, but only because of the angle people now down look at you?

Total the number of positive answers you have given to the questions above. If you can type the total on the keyboard of your computer, you are not shrunken, however tiny you may be.
If your significant other is jumping up and down next to the keyboard, and shouting ‘What does it say? What does it say?’ then they are, indeed, shrunken. SM or SW as they say on the boards.

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