Not So little Red Riding Hood
folder
Original - Misc › Parody
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
5,579
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › Parody
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
5,579
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Not So little Red Riding Hood
NOT SO LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
By Lord Evil
Disclaimer:I do not own the characters of Little Red Riding Hood, The Big Bad Wolf, Grandma, or Red\'s Mom.
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a beautiful young maiden with lovely red hair and emerald green eyes. Her mother, who adored and doted on her, had made a little red, hooded cape for her and she wore it everywhere she went, earning the nickname, Little Red Riding Hood.
One day, her mother called Little Red Riding Hood to her. \"Your grandmother is feeling rather ill. Would you be a dear and bring her this basket of goodies so she might feel better?\" she told her daughter.
\"Of course, mother!\" Little Red Riding Hood said cheerfully. She loved her grandmother ever so much and would do anything to help her.
\"Remember to stay on the path and don\'t talk to strangers.\" her mother warned as she walked off into the woods.
A big bad wolf was scrounging around for something to eat when he heard Little Red Riding Hood merrily skipping along the pathway. He was immediately drawn to the pretty young redhead and began to drool in antipation. He was wary, however, of some woodsmen nearby. If they were to hear her cry out, they might come to her aid. No, he would have to try something more subtle. An evil plot was soon hatched and the wolf grinned evily at his own ingenuity.
Little Red Riding Hood had stopped to sniff a flower when a large wolf walking on two legs stepped out from behind some bushes.
\"Why, hello, my dear!\" he said in his most polite voice, \"And what\'s your name, litle girl?\"
\"Oh, you startled me, Mr. Wolf! M-my name is Little Red Riding Hood and I\'m on my way to visit my grandmother. She\'s been feeling every so ill and my mother made a basket of goodies to bring her.\" she replied. The wolf smiled, showing her his sharp teeth, as he looked her up and down.
\"Mmmm! Quite a scrumptious morsel if I do say so myself!\" thought the wolf. He paused for a moment and then spoke. \"Hmmm. Maybe I\'ll go visit her too. I\'ll go this way, through the woods, and you can go along the path. We\'ll see who gets there first.\" Before she could say anything, he was gone. Realizing she was alone once again, Little Red Riding Hood decided to go chase a few butterflies before heading over to her Grandmother\'s house.
Wasting no time, the wolf ran over to Little Red Riding Hood\'s grandmother\'s house. He pounded on the door until he heard a weak voice ask who it was. \"Open up, ya old bag!\" he said in his usual gruff voice before stopping himself. He coughed loudly and tried again with a softer voice. \"Uh, er, I mean...It\'s Little Red Riding Hood, grandma! Let me in!\"
\"Oh, just let me unlatch the door, child.\" said the old woman. As soon as he heard the door open, the wolf pounced on the poor woman. He was about to gobble her up when he decided she might not taste too good.
\"Ugh, you\'re far too gamey to eat!\" he growled. Instead, he bound and gagged her and locked her in the cellar. \"Don\'t worry, granny!\" he laughed evily \"I\'ll take good care of your precious Little Red Riding Hood!\" He quickly found some extra clothing and dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood\'s grandmother and hid himself under her covers.
Some time later, Little Red Riding Hood had finaly made it to her grandmother\'s house. She tapped lightly on the door. \"Yeah, what da ya want!?\" asked a loud gruff voice.
\"It\'s Little Red Riding Hood, grandmother! Please let me in!\" she asked sweetly.
\"Oh, uh, er, why come in, my dear child!\" the wolf answered in a softer voice. Little Red Riding Hood opend the door and walked in. She saw her grandmother sitting in bed. \"She must be awfuly sick!\" she thought to herself \"Her voice is so hoarse.\"
\"Is that a basket of goodies for me?\" the wolf asked.
\"Why yes it is, grandmother! How ever did you know?\" Little Red Riding Hood replied.
\"Call it a hunch.\" the wolf snickered \"You can just put that on the table for right now. Come over here and let me look at you.\" The young girl dutifully set the basket on the table and went over to the bed. The wolf looked at her closely, trying to avoid licking his lips.
\"My, you\'re blossoming into quite a beautiful young lady, aren\'t you? How old are you now, dear child?\"
\"But, grandmother! You know how old I am!\"
\"Shut up and answer the question!\" the wolf said gruffly.
\"Well, my birthday was two weeks ago, so I\'m around 18, I guess.\" Little Red Riding Hood replied.
\"Mmmm, nice and legal!\" the wolf thought to himself as his mouth began to water \"You must be so tired from your long walk...\" he said.
\"Not really, Grandma! I...\" she answered before she was cut off.
\"Don\'t argue with your grandmother! You\'re very tired and must lie down!\" the wolf said loudly.
\"Allright, Grandmother. But wherever shall I lie down?\"
\"You can get in bed with me. Now go take your boots off so you won\'t get my bed messy.\"
Little Red Riding Hood sat in a chair and pulled off her boots while the wolf glared at her.
\"Don\'t forget to take off your gloves too and your little red hood.\" the wolf reminded her.
\"Oh, allright Grandmother.\" she answered back
\"In fact, why don\'t you just take off all your clothes?\" the wolf added slyly.
\"But if I do that, I\'ll be naked, Grandmother!\" Little Red Riding Hood said with embarrasment.
\"Yessss!!! Mwa, ha, ha, ha, uhm, er, I mean, so?\" said the wolf, growing impatient.
\"Allright, but promise to turn around and not look.\" she reluctantly agreed. The wolf pretended to cover his eyes but secretly peeked through his fingers.
Little Red Riding Hood started to take off her clothes, unaware that the wolf was staring at her. He found himself growing hungrier as he saw her soft , round curves. Her milky white skin contrasted nicely with her bright red hair. He tried to stop himself from smacking his lips as she got fully undressed. He turned around as she slipped into bed next to him. As soon as she covered herself up with the blanket, he noticed her staring at him with a confused look on her face.
\"Grandmother, what big eyes you have!\" she said curiously.
\"All the better to see you with, my dear!\" the wolf replied.
\"Grandmother, what big ears you have!\"
\"All the better to hear you with, my dear!\"
\"Grandmother, what big teeth you have!\"
\"All the better to EAT you with!\" the wolf said with a feral growl. He flung the covers aside and grabbed the young girl before she could get away. She screamed when she realized that this was not her grandmother at all, but that naughty wolf she met earlier. She felt his powerful paws hold her still as he opened his mouth as wide as he could, displaying his sharp teeth. Before he could gobble her up, the door was smashed to pieces and several of the King\'s knights had burst in, swords drawn!
\"In the name of the King, you are hearby under arrest for seducing a minor!\" shouted the lead knight.
\"What?!\" cried the wolf \"S-she told me she was 18!\"
\"Not you, her!\"
\"What the hell are you talking about? She is 18 isn\'t she?\"
\"Yes, but you\'re not!\"
\"What?!\" the wolf snarled. \"Dammit, I have some Identification around here somewhere! I\'ll settle this right now!\" he muttered as he rummaged around and finally handed a plastic ID card to the knight. After looking at it for a moment, he signaled for the other knights to arrest Red Riding Hood.
\"Sir, according to this you\'re only 15 years old.\"
\"B-but that\'s in human years, I\'m really around 25 in wolf years.\"
\"I\'m sorry, but the law is quite clear on this. Miss, I\'m afriad we have to take you in.\"
\"It\'s a fair cop, but society\'s to blame.\" she said as she was lead outside.
\"Dammit! I was so close!\" growled the wolf.
\"Sir, I will have to speak with your parents...\"
\"Oh, shut up!\" siad the wolf as he got up and started eating the basket of goodies.
\"Hey, any doughnuts in there?\" asked the knight.
THE END?
By Lord Evil
Disclaimer:I do not own the characters of Little Red Riding Hood, The Big Bad Wolf, Grandma, or Red\'s Mom.
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a beautiful young maiden with lovely red hair and emerald green eyes. Her mother, who adored and doted on her, had made a little red, hooded cape for her and she wore it everywhere she went, earning the nickname, Little Red Riding Hood.
One day, her mother called Little Red Riding Hood to her. \"Your grandmother is feeling rather ill. Would you be a dear and bring her this basket of goodies so she might feel better?\" she told her daughter.
\"Of course, mother!\" Little Red Riding Hood said cheerfully. She loved her grandmother ever so much and would do anything to help her.
\"Remember to stay on the path and don\'t talk to strangers.\" her mother warned as she walked off into the woods.
A big bad wolf was scrounging around for something to eat when he heard Little Red Riding Hood merrily skipping along the pathway. He was immediately drawn to the pretty young redhead and began to drool in antipation. He was wary, however, of some woodsmen nearby. If they were to hear her cry out, they might come to her aid. No, he would have to try something more subtle. An evil plot was soon hatched and the wolf grinned evily at his own ingenuity.
Little Red Riding Hood had stopped to sniff a flower when a large wolf walking on two legs stepped out from behind some bushes.
\"Why, hello, my dear!\" he said in his most polite voice, \"And what\'s your name, litle girl?\"
\"Oh, you startled me, Mr. Wolf! M-my name is Little Red Riding Hood and I\'m on my way to visit my grandmother. She\'s been feeling every so ill and my mother made a basket of goodies to bring her.\" she replied. The wolf smiled, showing her his sharp teeth, as he looked her up and down.
\"Mmmm! Quite a scrumptious morsel if I do say so myself!\" thought the wolf. He paused for a moment and then spoke. \"Hmmm. Maybe I\'ll go visit her too. I\'ll go this way, through the woods, and you can go along the path. We\'ll see who gets there first.\" Before she could say anything, he was gone. Realizing she was alone once again, Little Red Riding Hood decided to go chase a few butterflies before heading over to her Grandmother\'s house.
Wasting no time, the wolf ran over to Little Red Riding Hood\'s grandmother\'s house. He pounded on the door until he heard a weak voice ask who it was. \"Open up, ya old bag!\" he said in his usual gruff voice before stopping himself. He coughed loudly and tried again with a softer voice. \"Uh, er, I mean...It\'s Little Red Riding Hood, grandma! Let me in!\"
\"Oh, just let me unlatch the door, child.\" said the old woman. As soon as he heard the door open, the wolf pounced on the poor woman. He was about to gobble her up when he decided she might not taste too good.
\"Ugh, you\'re far too gamey to eat!\" he growled. Instead, he bound and gagged her and locked her in the cellar. \"Don\'t worry, granny!\" he laughed evily \"I\'ll take good care of your precious Little Red Riding Hood!\" He quickly found some extra clothing and dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood\'s grandmother and hid himself under her covers.
Some time later, Little Red Riding Hood had finaly made it to her grandmother\'s house. She tapped lightly on the door. \"Yeah, what da ya want!?\" asked a loud gruff voice.
\"It\'s Little Red Riding Hood, grandmother! Please let me in!\" she asked sweetly.
\"Oh, uh, er, why come in, my dear child!\" the wolf answered in a softer voice. Little Red Riding Hood opend the door and walked in. She saw her grandmother sitting in bed. \"She must be awfuly sick!\" she thought to herself \"Her voice is so hoarse.\"
\"Is that a basket of goodies for me?\" the wolf asked.
\"Why yes it is, grandmother! How ever did you know?\" Little Red Riding Hood replied.
\"Call it a hunch.\" the wolf snickered \"You can just put that on the table for right now. Come over here and let me look at you.\" The young girl dutifully set the basket on the table and went over to the bed. The wolf looked at her closely, trying to avoid licking his lips.
\"My, you\'re blossoming into quite a beautiful young lady, aren\'t you? How old are you now, dear child?\"
\"But, grandmother! You know how old I am!\"
\"Shut up and answer the question!\" the wolf said gruffly.
\"Well, my birthday was two weeks ago, so I\'m around 18, I guess.\" Little Red Riding Hood replied.
\"Mmmm, nice and legal!\" the wolf thought to himself as his mouth began to water \"You must be so tired from your long walk...\" he said.
\"Not really, Grandma! I...\" she answered before she was cut off.
\"Don\'t argue with your grandmother! You\'re very tired and must lie down!\" the wolf said loudly.
\"Allright, Grandmother. But wherever shall I lie down?\"
\"You can get in bed with me. Now go take your boots off so you won\'t get my bed messy.\"
Little Red Riding Hood sat in a chair and pulled off her boots while the wolf glared at her.
\"Don\'t forget to take off your gloves too and your little red hood.\" the wolf reminded her.
\"Oh, allright Grandmother.\" she answered back
\"In fact, why don\'t you just take off all your clothes?\" the wolf added slyly.
\"But if I do that, I\'ll be naked, Grandmother!\" Little Red Riding Hood said with embarrasment.
\"Yessss!!! Mwa, ha, ha, ha, uhm, er, I mean, so?\" said the wolf, growing impatient.
\"Allright, but promise to turn around and not look.\" she reluctantly agreed. The wolf pretended to cover his eyes but secretly peeked through his fingers.
Little Red Riding Hood started to take off her clothes, unaware that the wolf was staring at her. He found himself growing hungrier as he saw her soft , round curves. Her milky white skin contrasted nicely with her bright red hair. He tried to stop himself from smacking his lips as she got fully undressed. He turned around as she slipped into bed next to him. As soon as she covered herself up with the blanket, he noticed her staring at him with a confused look on her face.
\"Grandmother, what big eyes you have!\" she said curiously.
\"All the better to see you with, my dear!\" the wolf replied.
\"Grandmother, what big ears you have!\"
\"All the better to hear you with, my dear!\"
\"Grandmother, what big teeth you have!\"
\"All the better to EAT you with!\" the wolf said with a feral growl. He flung the covers aside and grabbed the young girl before she could get away. She screamed when she realized that this was not her grandmother at all, but that naughty wolf she met earlier. She felt his powerful paws hold her still as he opened his mouth as wide as he could, displaying his sharp teeth. Before he could gobble her up, the door was smashed to pieces and several of the King\'s knights had burst in, swords drawn!
\"In the name of the King, you are hearby under arrest for seducing a minor!\" shouted the lead knight.
\"What?!\" cried the wolf \"S-she told me she was 18!\"
\"Not you, her!\"
\"What the hell are you talking about? She is 18 isn\'t she?\"
\"Yes, but you\'re not!\"
\"What?!\" the wolf snarled. \"Dammit, I have some Identification around here somewhere! I\'ll settle this right now!\" he muttered as he rummaged around and finally handed a plastic ID card to the knight. After looking at it for a moment, he signaled for the other knights to arrest Red Riding Hood.
\"Sir, according to this you\'re only 15 years old.\"
\"B-but that\'s in human years, I\'m really around 25 in wolf years.\"
\"I\'m sorry, but the law is quite clear on this. Miss, I\'m afriad we have to take you in.\"
\"It\'s a fair cop, but society\'s to blame.\" she said as she was lead outside.
\"Dammit! I was so close!\" growled the wolf.
\"Sir, I will have to speak with your parents...\"
\"Oh, shut up!\" siad the wolf as he got up and started eating the basket of goodies.
\"Hey, any doughnuts in there?\" asked the knight.
THE END?