You Can Never Tell

This is a story about my boyfriend and I before we started a relationship and before we broke up. You\'ll understand why we broke up.

-----------------------------

I have been spending a lot of time chatting with this guy, in the cafeteria in the morning, when I come to school. I really don\'t like talking to him. I\'m not much of a social person myself so I don\'t want to be bothered. It seemed he took interest in me because I usually sit alone. It\'s not that I don\'t have any friends. I\'m waiting for them because I come too darn early!

It\'s been a year since I\'ve been properly acquainted with this guy. I hate him a lot. I\'m a violent person at heart so I would always push him away. One day I was hanging with one of my friends out in the halls. We sat at one of the ledge and he came up to me asking, \"Hey, do you want to hang out this weekend?\"

I didn\'t want to, but my friend encouraged me saying he was cute. I gave in and said okay. So we hung out those few times going around the city and eating. When Mid-Winter Break came, he asked me to go over to his house. I didn\'t really mind since it didn\'t seem like anything could happen.

I told my mom I was going to a friend\'s house and she thought it was going to be one of the girl friends, but I clarified saying \'it\'s some guy\'s house.\' She complained, but she couldn\'t refuse since I already promised I would go.

The next day, I woke up early to get to the train station. It was going to be a long ride there. 2 hours to be exact... After the train, came the ferry. Then, I saw him outside and we took a bus all the way to his house. I went in and was mortified by the heep of trash everywhere, but then shook it away since it\'s not my home so I shouldn\'t care.

After some time of talking and deciding what to do, he spoke and said, \"Let\'s go to my room.\" I complied since I was bored anyway. I went up the stairs, following him into his room. I sat on the bed and the first thing I do in anybody\'s house is grab a stuff animal. There were two and I hugged them on my body feeling the softness on my chest.

He stared at me and looking amused. I gave him a questioning eye. Then the unthinkable happens. He grabbed me and was touching me. \"Let go of me!\" I screamed.

All he did was make these horrible perverted responses like, \"I know you like it.\" \"You\'re getting hot all over.\" and the such. I was so pissed that he would use me like this. I pushed him aside and he sneakily came back at me and was touching under my clothes.

He was about to reach into my pants when I shrieked, \"NO!!\"

He try to be sympathetic by saying, \"Don\'t worry. I won\'t go that far.. unless you want me to..\" I was disgusted. I felt like I was going to cry. I turned and buried my face into the bed. \"Are you alright?\" he asked.

I immediately set my traumatic emotions aside. Turning back around and looking at him with a cheerful smile I said, \"Yea.\" The day went normally and I left to go home.

That was when our relationship started. I wanted him to take responsibility for hurting me. Time went by and every time I went over to his house I would allow him to touch me. Sometimes he would even be so shameless as to touch me in public. We were like a normal couple to everyone outside, holding hands, eating together, kissing, and so on.

I think I must be weird because I hated kissing him. His mouth , more like his tongue, tasted nasty and I felt like I would gag. The only times we would kiss would be if he dranked coffee to drown it out. So StarBucks became a common place we would go.

So many months pass and I would tell him about the things he does wrong. In truth, he was such a pain in the ass. He was literally a jerk to socieety. He made fun of random strangers. I hated that perverted side of him. It was neither romantic or arousing at all. All I could think of was \'what childishness.\' For a person who was six months older than me, he was incredibly immature. The only reason I clung to him was because I wanted him to take responsibility and I also wanted him to becaome a better person.

He never did change..

Of course my parents learned of him and spoke with his mom. We even had one of those gatherings to introduce the family. My dad seemed to like him. I hate my family by the way.

In the summer, his mom and mine made plans so that we would all go to Japan on tour while we stayed at to Hong Kong. By that time he had already graduated from high school and I still had a year to go. It was also at that vacation that I decided to break up with him. Since I won\'t be seeing him as much, I didn\'t want to cling to him anymore.

He sort of got the idea when I never talked or looked at him during the trip. It might seem like he liked me for my personality when he pointed out some of the things I do. When it comes down to it, he only liked me because I was cute and I did cute things like those little anime characters. He was already surprised by my mature body under my tomboy-ish attire.

Probably the biggest factor to why he liked me was my violent and independent approach to everything. I assumed he was a masochist because I once told him how I liked watching \'InuYasha\' and my favorite characters were InuYasha and Sesshoumaru. I thought it was reasonable. He thought I was crazy. He, instead, liked Kikyou because she was forcing herself upon InuYasha and trying to take his life away to accompany her to the realm of the dead...

I won\'t say that I never admired his attentiveness and kindness toward me, but he didn\'t seem to be loving me for the right reasons. I feel glad that I broke up with him every time I think about the first time I went to his house. That trauma will never leave me. The emotions I felt that day will always be so clear to me, when I think back on it, like it just happened.

After breaking up and relieving myself of the burden I carried, having to be with the guy, I felt glad that I could resume to hanging out with my friends like we used to. So far I\'ve only seen him around twice when I hang with my friends. We just ignore each other. The biggest complaint I have is that he never stops trying to IM me. I took him off my list so that whenever he IM\'s, I could press Ignore and I won\'t be IMed again until the nexted time I sign on. I think this is good advice for everyone who has trouble with people always IMing them and you don\'t want to ever speak to them again.

Another complaint would be how he comments in my weblogs with those horrible perverted words of his like, \"You could come to my house and we\'ll snuggle together.\" Uckkkkk.. I could feel my stomach turn just \'hearing\' those words on my comment box. I\'m thankful that I could get away, it only it was further away..

----------------------------

Besides my ex-boyfriend, I also have another friend that IM\'s me constantly. I don\'t want to tell him he annoys the shit out of me, but that\'s how I feel. He tries to talk to me in such meaningless conversations. I don\'t mind when he asks, \"What are you doing?\" Everybody asks that, but when he says stuff like this, \"I heard you were going over to so and so\'s house.\" or \"So, what did you do at so and so\'s house?\" Uuuggghhhhh..... I hate people prying into my business. I wouldn\'t care as much if it was someone else asking me these things, but when it\'s an annoying guy it becomes all the more aggravating.

I also have suspicions he likes me. I could tell when people like me. I\'m actually glad that the other people that like me aren\'t as annoying. It also seems to be a common thing that all the ones that like me have interest in anime. Everyone always tells me how I look like I was pulled out of an anime.

----------------------------

There\'s also this other guy that is interested in me, but he seems to think of me as a small child. He always pets my head. Seriously, can a person be more annoying?! Like my English teacher said, \"When some one says you\'re pretty then it\'s a compliment, but when someone says you\'re cute it\'s like they\'re telling you that you are like my dog. A dog is cute. It\'s like why don\'t you just shove crap in my face!\" I had a good laugh.

He\'s also more perverted and immature than any person in my life. He tries to fit in the crowd too hard. He makes horrible comments that are so shameless. I swear he is never getting laid at the way he talks. No respect to women. We are technically the same age. He\'s always saying how I look so much younger than I am and how if I did it with him, I would be the one who\'s the pedophile since he\'s younger than me by a few months and he\'s just 17 at the moment. God, that comment makes me fume!

I hate perverts so much now. They can be so annoying and rude. If I was allowed to kill without punishment, I would snap their head back and be done with it.

----------------------------

I hope you like reading about my life. Please review or rate or whatever.