No Secrets

05/16/01

She closed her dark brown eyes and tried to ignore the pain she was feeling at that moment. She tried not to think about all she was losing at this moment, as she proceeded in allowing him to use and violate her body to his heart\'s content.

And what was she getting out of this? His unreliable word that he\'d be hers. She bit her lip, willing herself to drift away into another time and place, another situation that didn\'t involve her bleeding and hurting so much and giving up her virginity to a guy she knew she didn\'t and possibly, would never love. It was all just an undying infatuation.

She lay still beneath him the entire time as he worked himself into a climax, and then came inside her. What was so remarkable about him, she wondered, breaking back into reality, just in time to see the expression of pure joy come onto his face as he came. All she wanted was to hold him and be close to him and do whatever it took to make him happy. She could only guess as to why she wanted so much for him to be happy, especially when, ninety-percent of the time, he did her so wrong. Maybe, she thought, she wanted him because she wanted to hurt herself and he was everything she wasn\'t supposed to want.

Minutes later she felt his dark, warm lips on hers and she responded to him hungrily, her hands reaching to feel his facial hairs, wanting him; needing him emotionally, but it seemed, all he wanted was to fulfill his physical needs and that only made her desire him even more.

Her hands traveled down his dirty red colored chest, needing to feel more of him. A deep desire awakened in her, and all she wanted was more and more of this boy, who claimed to be a man... more of this boy who could more or less, give a damn about how she felt and all that she was giving up to him. Her nails bore into his bare back, as he moved inside her while they kissed.

Her eyes closed, and she sunk into the ecstasy of being with him, even if he\'d never just be hers. All that mattered was for right then, in that moment, he was hers, and she clung to it, to him, wishing it never had to end. At the thought of all of it ending, she moved her body with his aggressively as their bodies rubbed against one another.

Finally, an hour later, he collapsed on top of her, breathing roughly, sweat covering his body and then rolled from on top of her, a smirk forming at his lips. She rested her head against his chest, and kissed it. It was over, she thought, knowing she couldn\'t have him no matter what. It pained her greatly, knowing she had to let him go for good, no matter how much it hurt her inside, no matter how deeply she cared about him; he was just another guy, and soon, he\'d be just another painful memory that she\'d hate to remember…

He sighed slightly, an arrogant, sexy smile coming to face as he looked at her and lifted himself up to briefly touch her face.

“You\'re sixteen,” he said laughing, “you can do what you want, or better yet, what I want. And what I want,” he said, his hands traveling between her legs, “is for you to stay with me until the sun comes up, and maybe, even afterwards.”

His dark eyes never left hers as he proceeded to slide his fingers inside her, awaiting her reaction. Her dark brown eyes were still innocent, even after all the things he did, and still was doing, to her. She couldn\'t deny him what he wanted, and he knew it. She became powerless when she was with him.

“I\'m just a girl,” she said to him, taking a hold of his wrist in attempt to still his manipulative hand. “You\'re nearly three years older than I am.”

“Yea? You can\'t stay a girl forever; you\'re going to have to grow up eventually,” he said to her as she continued to attempt in vain in trying to stop his roaming fingers.

“I know,” she said softly, and then stopped in her attempt to still his hand. She closed her eyes as his fingers moved in and out of her, and gripped the sheets, allowing herself to fall into ecstasy at his foreplay. Seconds later, he stopped and caressed her face, causing her to open her eyes and look into his.

“You know you love me,” he said, a smirk reappearing on his lips before he leaned down to roughly kiss her soft pink lips. She broke the kiss and pushed his hand away from her face.

“Don\'t mock me,” she said, averting her eyes.

“Don\'t leave me,” he said seriously, his smirk fading as he took her hand, and to her surprise, instead of pressing it to his dick, as he usually did, he pressed it to his chest, where she could feel his heart beating.

“You know I can\'t,” she whispered, “no matter how much you hurt me.”

At that, his smirk returned and he touched her face yet again. “You know I can\'t stop,” he said, thinking to his cheating ways.

“Neither can I,” she said softly, granting him his request for her to stay, running the risk of all the trouble she going to be in whenever it was that he\'d let her return home. But until then, she allowed herself to become intoxicated by all of him…