To The Other Side And Back

Quick Disclaimer: Characters are from my own weirdly twisted imagination, any relation to any fictional or nonfictional people/characters is purely coincidental and while I\'m at it, any relation to real life experiences is also purely coincidental. Proceed at your own discretion. This story was originally produced on May 26th 2005 and has been semi-carefully revised... Thank you.


What is really left to say after it has all been said. No more words can be forced to say what you really don\'t mean anyways. What kind of world do we live in where our feelings don\'t mean a thing to anyone? Let me tell you a story.

\"I don\'t know the answer Meg. I really don\'t know.\" I said as I looked up through the wet hair that fell in my face.
\"I know that! You never know…\" She yelled at me.

It\'s not like words do anything for the soul anymore. Why talk about what you really mean when you can just avoid the truth and say something to hurt them, hurt them severely and make them wish they were dead, even though it\'s all for show and you don\'t mean all that you say.

\"Meg, I can\'t take this. Not anymore. I see right through your lies. You can\'t be in my life anymore. I\'m leaving this relationship, if you can call it that.\" I looked her in the eyes as I spoke every word. I saw her tears form and then she tried to hide it.
\"You warned me… you warned me that you\'d break my heart. I just never took you seriously.\" She wiped the tear that was rolling down her cheek. \"I do take you seriously now …\"

I turned my back to her, and continued my walk. We were in the middle of the road, a residential neighborhood at almost two in the morning. It was Friday so there really wasn\'t anyone sleeping, any children would be camping with their folks. It had just rained, so she took my deep breathing as a sign of regret, of anything.

\"Can\'t this just be a fight! Can\'t we just kiss and make up and forget?\" She yelled, and her voice broke. This wasn\'t going to be easy.
\"No.\" I spoke harshly not even turning around. Her footsteps sloshed through the puddles and her hands rested on my shoulders.
\"Please, there\'s no shame… no harm… please.\" I shut my eyes. She wasn\'t going to get away with it again. I shrugged her hands away.
\"Look,\" I spun around. \"This isn\'t easy, but we don\'t work! You try to damn hard to fit in with all the wrong people, but those wrong people are really the right people and you just aren\'t trying hard enough! I\'m not going to stand by and love a person who doesn\'t even know who they are yet! I know you Meg, I loved you. Not anymore. You\'ve changed.\" I was harsh, just harsh enough to change her but too harsh for her to forgive me.
\"Is there more?\" Sarcasm. Only there was more.
\"How can you even look at me anymore? I must disgust you for not conforming with your standards, your high goals. How can you even allow me in your presence, standing before you without your drink or your car keys. I am trash to you now…\" I caught the glimpse in her eyes, I had found the truth. \"You never once respected me did you.\" I stepped back. \"Not once, I respected you enough to lose my self and come back again. I saved you from that world, I saved you from your life. And what did I get in return, nothing, no respect and no love.\" I covered my eyes because she didn\'t dispute me.

I ran my hands through my hair and cried. I walked away, I heard the train in the distance, I heard the plane circling hoping to land, then I heard her voice.
\"You don\'t understand.\"
\"Don\'t I…\" I choked out.
There was a rattle on the ground, so I turned around. She had dropped her purse, and was in the process of removing her $2000 jacket from her body. It too joined the purse on the ground, she pulled her expensive shoes off and slammed them on the ground too. I had broken the princess and shown her what life was.
\"I don\'t need glamour! I don\'t need prestige! I don\'t need money! I just need you!\" She fell to her knees and scream-cried. I\'d never seen her this way, and there was no way she was faking it.

The rain started again, I was off to the side of the street but she was in the middle. She had her head buried in her arms, I was the only one who saw the swerving lights heading down the hill.
\"Come here. I\'ll hold you.\" I reached out to her, I opened the door I couldn\'t pull her through. She whimpered not moving. I\'d done to much to her tonight. \"Please. Get up, the car, get up.\" She looked up at me, her mascara left lines under her eyes. She didn\'t know what I was asking until she turned her head. She saw the car.

You know that feeling when everything seems to disappear for a moment? You zone out and seem to lose all sense of personality and being. This was what was happening now, it was like a cheesy movie slow-mo action scene.

She cried out, \"Help me!\" I really had two choices, save her and save me, or save her and let me die. I started running because for some reason we had moved that far apart, she had stood up not moving from her spot, it was as though she was locked in place and I was the key to set her free. The car must had slowed because by the time I tackled her out of the way she should have been hit already. The car never saw us, the never slowed down, it turned the corner and I never saw it again.

I was on top of her, she was looking up at me. It was all very sexual. Rain beating down on us, our hearts racing. I had saved her from her life, and then I had saved her from death. Kissing her would have made all the sense. I looked deep into her eyes, read her soul. She was too damaged, at least that\'s what I saw. My forearms had been resting beside her head, so I pulled my self to my knees, so I was now straddling her. I was only in that position for a moment or two, her hand reached up, grabbed me by the back of my neck and pulled me down for the most sensual and awkward kiss we had ever shared. I rolled over and closed my eyes. She had already gotten to her feet and held her hand out to me. Instinctively I didn\'t even reach out to take it but then thought twice and took her hand.

\"I\'m really sorry…\" I said as sincere as I could.
\"No, you aren\'t. But thank you.\" She wrapped her arm around my waist. I bent down and picked up her purse.
\"You can\'t quit cold turkey, but I can wait.\" I smiled. We walked back to my house, which was right in front of us.