Insanity

My hazel eyes scanned the front yard before I left my car. I had been out late, I knew I had. But I had needed out of that dreadful room for so long. I don\'t know what I did to deserve to be there, but I had needed out. As I slipped towards the door, I scanned quickly and quietly for anyone else around. Seeing no one, I slunk to the door like a kitten, and pushed it open, wondering but thankful that it wasn\'t locked.

Closing the door behind me, I sighed softly and leaned against it. I\'d made it. I was only a mere meter or two from the door to my own room, and I was safe. He\'d never know that I was out. He was an awesome guy and all, but he had some weird paranoia that if I went out, I\'d be taken away from him. I eased my door open gently, then closed it behind me. He was a great guy and all, but vampires can be very territorial, even of their potential woman. He\'d been trying to seduce me for a while. I liked him, and I definitely think those canines are to die for, but I wasn\'t sure if he was perfect just yet.

The door shut with a soft thud behind the girl and she pressed herself tightly against it, as if trying to hide from invisible walls or beams. Peeking through the window, she looked for any of the scary people to come after her. They were no fun, they wanted to take everything away from her. They kept her locked in this room and she hated it. She had crept out for some fresh air.

I must\'ve been more tired than I thought as a sleepy daze hit me when I entered the room. Quickly pulling on my shirt over my head and wriggling my hips from the tight jeans, I set them aside and grabbed my nightgown, unaware of the eyes upon me from above.

Kalle shuffled to her bed after making sure the curtains were sealed tightly around the window. She reached the wall and slid down in the corner, hair wild and her arms bent tightly and protectively against her chest.

I shut the light out with a blink and snuggled down in the comforters to sleep the remainder of the night away.

When I woke, I found Shadow sitting on the end of my bed, the covers having been tossed off my shivering body during the night. I was startled, to say the least, but his charming smile calmed me instantly. He leaned in to hug me good morning and I could tell there was something wrong. I brushed my long strands of hair from my eyes and slid them behind my shoulder as my hazel eyes looked to his, questioning his silence.

His eyes accused me, bore into my mind, knowing and accusing me of what I\'d done the night before. I\'d only wanted some air, I pleaded this. I didn\'t want him angry. Sitting nervously back away from him, I tried to explain that he was smothering me--and we weren\'t even going out. I admit that he\'s handsome, but my nervous hands pulling at my nightgown show that I couldn\'t say such a thing to him. The fabric twisted between my fingers; twist and untwist, twist and untwist. I jumped slightly when his hands caught mine, and I moved backwards instinctively.

Kalle pushed herself further against the wall, her arms leaving her chest to almost claw and push at the wall in attempts to get further into the corner. A taller woman, presumably, crouched near the girl, arms folded across her legs.

\"Honey...honey it\'s alright. We\'re here. Are you ready to come home dear? Do you want to come home?\"

Kalle didn\'t make eye contact with anyone, instead she simply nodded, her thin legs pushing her tender body against the wall more as her arms retreated back to her chest, bent together.

There was another woman, sitting on the bed with a clipboard, her hair snugly pulled back into a bun as she jotted occasional notes down and returned her gaze through her skimpy frames to Kalle. She seemed to be impressed and urged the other woman to continue.

Shadow helped me to my feet as I shook my head, a bit dazed. I didn\'t know what was going on, why I felt disoriented lately, but he\'d been there to help me through it all. An illness he said. Nothing more. I took his word for it, and settled on the couch, him sitting in the chair across from me. I laid myself carefully down, and smiled at him. The way the night light hit his face was alluring. I wanted to hug him, as shy as that sounds. I was growing to like him, yes, much more than I thought I could. His lips moved, and I almost sensed this happening before I heard the words.

\"They\'re going to question you. You\'re going to have to make a choice.\"

Kalle curled into a ball on the couch, tightly in one corner, despite the white coated lady\'s suggestions for her to relax. The other lady with long, dark auburn hair, paced behind the couch nervously, watching the younger image of herself. The young girl\'s eyes were focused off in the distance, on something nonexistent.

\"Kalle? This is going to be hard, but if you want to go home, you have to try to focus alright?\"

The girl\'s head nodded slowly, the grease in her hair weighing it down so it swung heavily with her movements.

I rolled to face the back of the couch, eyes closed tightly as I fought the nagging voices in my head. I clutched, white-knuckled, to a pillow and held it against my stomach. I felt ill. Scenes flashed before me and I didn\'t know what to make of them. \"Yes, we\'re here to check her in--she\'s taking this imaginary friend thing too far. Yes sir, she practically lives with them.\" I clutched my head, and all I felt was a comforting gaze from across the room.

\"Kalle, if you want to come home, you have to put them out of your mind, alright? You want to come home right? You can do it hun...\"

The girl\'s arms tightened against her body, and the woman in the white coat, presumably the doctor, held her arm out to stop the girl\'s mother from going any nearer. \"She has to do this on her own.\"

I found myself standing in the kitchen doorway, looking upon the taller man. My eyes bore into Shadow\'s back and I was surprised that he didn\'t seem to notice I was there. That was fine by me. It made it easier for things to work, easier to carry things through. Less struggle. My eyes flicked to my hands which were clenched at my sides. My eyes flashed with realization as I felt something thin and sharp twined in the fingers of my left hand, and something hard and pointed palmed in my right.

I padded softly up behind him on the tile floor, quieter than I ever thought was possible. Taking a silent deep breath, I felt my right arm raise into my view. A stake. I knew what I was supposed to do, yet I didn\'t want to. I didn\'t detest Shadow in any way---why was I doing this?

Kalle slammed her head violently back against the couch, eyes clenched tightly shut. Low echoes of whimpers trailed from her clenched teeth. She was struggling, and the mother was weeping nearby. She had tried a few times to simply hold her daughter until she was alright, but had been stopped each time by the doctor. Healing, she had said, part of the process. The girl\'s hands clenched tightly to her nightgown and her hair, as if trying to rip them from herself, her head shaking back and forth numerous times.

\"C\'mon honey, we want to take you home. Come back to us...\"

Before I realized it, I knew why I had to do it. I wanted to go home. I had to get rid of my imagination to go home. My arm raised to his shoulder height, swinging back for leverage. I swallowed deeply, but apparently too deeply. Shadow spun around, not looking alarmed at all, as if he knew I was there, but if he knew, why didn\'t he dodge? My arm swung down with more force than I thought I had. Shocking myself, I didn\'t flinch when I speared him through the chest--and neither did he. The next step kicked in; the wire coiled in my left hand.

Kalle thrashed on the couch before slamming her head a few more times. \"No....Shadow, I\'m sorry! No...\" Her voice was weak and sounded as if it hadn\'t been used in years. Her hands betrayed her voice when they mimicked the action of pulling a wire around someone\'s neck and tightening it sharply, and struggling with that person. Her shriek suddenly filled the room and she tumbled onto the floor unconscious.

Her mother rushed to her side, but the doctor simply held up a hand. \"She\'s fine. Her mind cannot hurt her, you must realize this. Not severely. The world she has created has become so real to her, that she makes herself ill when she feels she needs to. Thus describing her \'allergy\' to sunlight in sympathy to this \'Shadow.\' She will sleep for a few hours and wake, confused but alright. We will try again then.\" Kalle was carried back into her chambers and locked in for her own safety.

Waking with a start, I found myself still on the floor of the kitchen, where Shadow had struck me down. My face burned, and my hand went up to sooth it. A cold cloth beat me to it, and I took it and held it in place. Turning, I saw Shadow, serious as always, crouched behind me with concern in his eyes. I knew he hadn\'t meant to hurt me. Hurt. Oh... I\'d stabbed him!

I opened my mouth to voice my concern, but he raised a hand, silencing me. \"Do not worry, it has healed already. You fought bravely, almost too well. This will be good.\"

I knew what he meant. I belonged here, and they were trying to take me away. I wouldn\'t be locked up anymore. It was them I had to get rid of. They that were holding me back. I hugged the taller man firmly, inhaling a strong scent of cinnamon.

Strong but soft fingers trailed along my neck softly, and I relaxed. It was him that wanted me, only him. No one else had loved me. They had locked me away. My cheek rested against his shoulder and I felt his lips caress my skin.

My lungs wrought out a gasp as a sudden sinking feeling overcame me. My delicate arms tightened around the stronger body holding me as my mind began to spin. My lungs seemed to be nonexistent in achieving air, and I swore I felt my heart stop. I blacked out.

Darkness woke me with a start as I sat up, my ears tuning into sounds I\'d never heard before. Mice in the walls, crickets in the basement. It was amazing. Turning, I bared my new canines to my sire, silently thanking him. I was alive, more than anything I\'d ever dreamed of. I had always though of myself as a Dark Creature, but never like this. This was real, not imaginary illnesses when the sun contacted you. Real. I only had one more thing to do.

Kalle stood from her bed slowly, looking around the room.

I smiled again at Shadow, who sat there patiently waiting for me to join him eternally.

She took long strides towards the wall, arms still curled about her chest in hesitance, but pride in knowing she was doing what was right.

The window was right in front of me. I was terrified. Was I going to kill myself for eternal life?

Trembling fingers reached out and touched the fabrics and garbage bags attached to the walls and window frames. Hesitance. Would it hurt?

Of course it would hurt. I was silly to think dying wouldn\'t. But I was already dead, wasn\'t I? My tongue flicked amusingly along my canines. I would enjoy this.

Kalle could feel the heat through the boundaries already, and she felt like she was going to be ill. She didn\'t stop though, despite hearing the nurse yelling through the door for her to stop. They knew she made herself ill with contact to the sunlight.

I hissed in soft pain as I curled my fingers around the curtains. It was hot--burning hot. Pulling my hand back, I saw the scalded flesh healing itself quickly. Taking a deep breath, I palmed large amounts of the curtain in each hand. I stepped closer, taking a hesitant look back at Shadow.

Doctors pounded on the door. Kalle smiled back at them, giving a slight wink. She clenched her jaw tightly shut as she tore the curtains and plastic down with unknown strength.

The sun beat down on me, and I felt a blissful happiness. I knew I was dying somewhere, but the heat and the happiness of being free was overwhelming. I stumbled back and sat down on the edge of the bed, watching my skin burn, peal and charr. Shadow would save me at the appropriate time. I knew this. I just had to get rid of my insane thoughts. I had to get rid of that room.

By the time the doctor\'s beat their way into the room, Kalle\'s mother not too far behind, all that was left was a young girl\'s body, laying in the sun on the bed, smiling. She had never smiled. This would be a peaceful sight for anyone else--she\'d gone happy right?

Pronounced dead, her mother wept in the room, holding her and wondering what would cause such a disease to take her daughter.

Shadow tossed the curtains closed from the side when the time was right, and I woke shortly after. I was free. Free to live my new life, learn the new experiences I\'d never had the chance to locked up in those rooms.

Two things bothered Kalle\'s mother that day. Kalle\'s skin had been burnt and charred lightly in discreet places--and there was an unusual blood red tattoo on her neck she\'d never seen before...