You Don't Know Me

THIS STORY IS A SPIN-OFF OF “STARTING OVER”. SEVERAL PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME THAT THEY DIDN’T LIKE THE MARCUS CHARACTER AND DON’T CARE FOR A STORY ABOUT HIM. HOWEVER, I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS ONE FOR A WHILE, AND I’M GOING TO WRITE IT BECAUSE I DO BELIEVE IN PEOPLE’S ABILITY TO CHANGE AND IN THE POWER OF REDEMTION. THEREFORE, IF YOU DON’T WANT TO READ IT, I UNDERSTAND. BUT IF YOU DO READ IT, PLEASE ACCEPT IT FOR WHAT IT IS.

-----

Squinting into the sun, Marcus reached up to shade his deep blue eyes while he scanned the jovial crowd for his mother. Suddenly, he felt someone jump on him from behind, sending him tumbling to the ground, taking whoever was on him with him.

“We did it!” Marcus heard Brigitte’s voice coming from behind him.

“And you wanted to kill me to celebrate?” he grumbled as Brigitte climbed off him and they both stood up. Seeing the excited and completely unapologetic look in the redhead’s bright green eyes, though, made him start laughing as he pushed his chin-length dark hair from his face and wiped off his graduation gown.

“Marcus, Brigitte, there you two are,” Marcus’s mother finally found them somehow amongst the masses. Much younger than most of the parents there, she looked beautiful but emotional, her light hair swept up and her eyes, the same bright blue as Marcus’s, filled with tears. She first reached for Brigitte, pulling her into a hug, and then pulling back to look at her. “Congratulations, sweetheart,” she said. “Look at you… When I met you, you were just this little firecracker of a six-year-old. Now, you’re practically a grown woman!”

“Hardly,” Marcus said under his breath, but Brigitte heard him and slapped his arm hard. “Ouch!” he exclaimed.

“And you,” Marcus’s mother continued, cupping her son’s face in her hands. “I am so proud of you.” She pulled Marcus into a warm embrace. “You have done so well, my love,” she whispered in his ear, and she felt him squeeze her tightly.

“I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you,” he whispered back. “I wouldn’t have survived…”

Tears were streaming down Marcus’s mother’s cheeks as she pulled back and looked into his eyes. Obviously trying to pull herself back together, she wiped her face. “So what do you kids have planned for celebrating your graduation?” she asked.

“Oh, I think I’m just going to head home-” Marcus began, but Brigitte cut him off.

“You can’t!” she squealed. “Come on, Marcus. You have to hang out!”

“Brig, I don’t think it’s a good idea…”

“Ms. Logue, tell him,” Brigitte begged, turning her eyes to Marcus’s mother.

“Sweety, I do think you should celebrate,” his mother said gently, reaching for his arm. “You never go out. But this is your graduation. You deserve to have some fun.”

“I spent two years of my life having ‘some fun’,” Marcus replied wryly. “I had fun enough during that time for the entire graduating class.”

“Don’t be an ass,” Brigitte said in her usual no-nonsense way. “I’m not drinking or anything. You’ll be fine.”

Looking between his mother’s encouraging expression and Brigitte’s demanding one, Marcus raised his shoulders. “Fine, I give up!” he lifted his hands. “I’ll go out for a little while. But you can expect me home by midnight,” he added.

Giving his mother one last hug, Marcus and Brigitte started making rounds with the other graduates. They found Brigitte’s parents, who were embracing their friend, Troy. “There you guys are,” he was blushing. He seemed to be trying to hide behind the bleached-blond hair falling over his forehead, but his warm brown eyes gave away how happy he was to see his friends.

“Hey, Troy,” Marcus watched as Brigitte threw her arms around him. “Congrats!”

“You guys, too,” he smiled at them. The two boys then waited to the side while Brigitte’s parents hugged her, telling her how proud they were of her. They both patted Marcus on the arm, making him feel like a puppy that had finally been house-trained and waved at the graduates as they left. “So what’s the plan?” Troy asked, looking at his two best friends.

While Troy and Brigitte discussed their options for the evening, Marcus crossed his arms and smiled. After all he had been through – and put other people through – he was lucky to have such great people sticking by him. “I vote for the party at Shannon’s,” Brigitte announced.

“No,” Marcus replied clearly. “Not an option.”

“Oh, yeah,” Brigitte frowned. “You and she… after Catherine left… before you got clean…?”

“Thanks for pointing all of that out clearly, in case I had forgotten for a second,” Marcus said sarcastically. “And yes. That’s the reason.”

“I say we celebrate, just the three of us,” Troy, ever the one to try to smooth over uncomfortable situations. “I mean, it’s been us from the beginning, right?”

That was right. Brigitte, Troy and Marcus had lived on the same block since Marcus had moved there in second grade. Both were a year younger than him, but thanks to his ditching class so often in seventh grade, they had all ended up in the same class through junior high and high school. Smiling at his friends, Marcus felt a wash of memories. He remembered playing games after school and swimming in each other’s pools during summer. He smiled to himself at the memory of Brigitte getting her first period in seventh grade and informing the boys of this during lunch, to both of their horrors. But more than anything, he remembered both of them standing up to him during the whole Catherine incident, and then standing by him when he had given up drinking and drugs.

“What did we do that night we all snuck out in seventh grade?” Brigitte snapped Marcus out of his thoughts. “Do you remember?”

“We went to that greasy spoon diner and talked all night…” Marcus remembered fondly.

“So, what do you guys say?” When Brigitte had her mind set on something, there was no stopping her.

“Sounds perfect,” Troy grinned.

“Absolutely,” Marcus agreed, looking at his friends with admiration. They could have gone out partying all night. They had no reason to fear having a couple beers at a graduation bash. But they were choosing to hang out with him. “And thanks, guys,” he added with a small smile. “Really.”

“Don’t turn into a pussy on us now,” Brigitte laughed, throwing her arm around both boys’ shoulders. “This is how it started, and this is how it should end. The three of us.”

-----

“I just don’t understand,” Marcus’s mother was pacing the living room while he watched her patiently from his seat on the couch. “You’re going to the community college less than five miles from here. Why can’t you stay here with me?”

“You are the best mother anyone has ever had,” he began. It sounded like a cheesy kiss-up line, but Marcus’s voice was sincere. “But I’m nineteen now. And with everything that’s happened… Well, I guess I finally feel like I need to test myself.” Seeing that his mother didn’t understand him fully, he beckoned her to sit beside him. As she did, he looked into her face with gratitude. “You were here for me through all the hard times, and I’ve been able to stay clean for the past, what, year and a half, knowing that I didn’t want to disappoint you by coming home messed up. But I really think it’s time I test myself more. I need to know that I’m not coming home to anyone’s watchful eye, but that I can still stay clean.”

“It’s going to be expensive…” his mother’s voice was choked with emotion, but her words told Marcus that she was giving her support – however tentatively.

“No, I found a cheap studio apartment not far from here,” he said. “I’ll easily be able to pay for it with my salary from the skate shop.” Marcus had worked in a small surf and skate shop part-time for the past year. While it had filled his time, keeping him from getting in trouble, it had also allowed him to save some money for college and work in an environment that thrilled him.

“How far?” his mother asked grumpily.

“Three exits down the Long Island Expressway,” Marcus grinned, knowing he was now getting his mother’s approval.

“I want you here for dinner at least twice a week,” she told him sternly. “And I want to know how school and work are going. I want to know about your friends. I want to know about any girlfriends-”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that last one,” Marcus laughed. “You know I haven’t dated anyone in, like, forever.”

Looking at her son with some concern, Marcus’s mother cocked her head as she patted his knee. “You will eventually,” she reminded him gently. “Once you’ve let go of these demons from your past…”

Trying to control his discomfort, Marcus nodded. “I will eventually, yes,” he told her. “And when I do, I promise I will tell you all about her.”

Shaking her head, Marcus’s mother gave him an exasperated sigh. “You’re a real pain in the neck, you know that, right? And a wiseass, to top it off.”

“I know,” he grinned. “I’m my mother’s son.”

-----

“Thanks for helping me move in,” Marcus told Troy. “I really appreciate it.”

It was the beginning of August, and although Troy should have been spending his time packing his own belongings for his move to his college in Boston later that month, he had insisted on helping Marcus. Looking around the empty room, Marcus couldn’t help but grin. It was small, there was no doubt about that. But it was going to be the perfect place to start his new life. He could feel it in his bones.

“Do you have anything to drink?” Troy asked, wiping the sweaty strips of light hair from his forehead.

“I put a couple sodas in the fridge,” Marcus pointed at the small kitchenette. “Help yourself.”

Sitting down on the bare mattress, Marcus smiled as his friend grabbed a couple sodas, handing him one. “So you’re really doing it?” Troy asked with admiration. “You’re going to try to do it on your own?”

“You didn’t get that when you were helping me lug this heavy-ass bed up two flights of stairs?” Marcus joked, taking a long sip of his drink. He quickly became embarrassed of the moment, though. “Anyway,” he shrugged self-deprecatingly. “I’m moving like three miles from my Mommy. You’re the one going all the way to Boston.”

“Don’t remind me,” Troy grumbled. “It seemed like a good idea last spring, but now…”

“But now you’ve realized how far you’ll be from Brigitte?” Marcus asked gently.

“Shut up,” Troy blushed, taking a big gulp from his soda to try to avoid the conversation.

At that exact moment, Brigitte burst through the door. “Sorry I’m late,” she grinned, breathless. “Did I miss much?”

“Just the heavy lifting and carrying and… well, basically the moving part of my moving-in process,” Marcus teased. “Other than that, no.”

“Good,” Brigitte grinned, flopping behind them on the bed. “As long as that’s all.”

Marcus watched his friends as Brigitte began talking endlessly about fighting with the university financial aid office about the scholarship she was getting. Brigitte was going to Syracuse University, which, while still closer than Boston, was still almost five hours away. And every overly-energetic word that fell from her mouth was eagerly received by Troy. Marcus couldn’t help grin. Since he had known these two, Troy had had a crush on Brigitte, but he had never said anything, and she had never assumed anything.

“Anyway,” Brigitte was concluding her story with an exasperated sigh. “After talking to the head of financial aid for over an hour, the guy promised me that my scholarship would all be taken care of before I got there if I promised to never contact him again.” Her face showed no awareness of insult about this, and that made Marcus crack up.

“What?” Brigitte asked with annoyance. “I just did what I had to do to make sure my scholarship was ready and waiting when I arrive in Syracuse. What’s so funny about that?”

“Nothing,” Marcus grinned. “I’m just going to miss you guys.”

-----

Marcus was surprised when he received an invitation the following week to orientation. He had assumed a community college wouldn’t partake in such formalities and rituals. Staring at the bold “Where will your future take you?” printed on the postcard, he figured out he was wrong. “Maybe I’ll go,” he told himself with a grin.

Pulling off his own t-shirt and slipping into the “uniform” t-shirt of his job, he looked around his apartment. In the last week, he had managed to unpack everything and get it all just like he wanted. Since he had gotten clean, Marcus had developed a nasty streak of needing to have everything “just so”. Brigitte teased him incessantly about it, but he knew it was just his way to have some control in his life. He smiled at the room around him – the neatly made bed, the framed posters on the wall – and grabbed his keys and wallet from the nightstand. He had to be at work in twenty minutes, and he didn’t want to be late. Taking one last look around the comfy home he had made for himself, Marcus grinned as he shut the door behind him.

-----

Troy was leaving the following week. He wanted to get settled into his dorm before the rush of actual schoolwork hit him hard. He went out with Marcus and Brigitte for dinner the night before he was leaving, and afterwards, they came back to Marcus’s apartment. It was nearly two in the morning, but everyone was still wide-awake, mostly because they knew that the moment they went to sleep everything would change.

Still, Brigitte denied this. “So we’re going to be living in different places, but that’s all that’s changing. We’ll still be friends, like we are now.” She grinned from her spot on the bed while she looked at the two boys sitting on the floor. Marcus had insisted that Brigitte and Troy get some beer for the occasion, and despite their protests, he eventually convinced them with the statement “Hey, if I can’t not drink around my friends, who can I not drink around?”

“I have to pee,” Marcus said as he stood up. Troy was just returning from the kitchen with two more beers and a soda for Marcus. He sat down on the bed beside Brigitte, and Marcus could tell he was getting tipsy.

“Classy,” Brigitte joked. Smirking at her, Marcus went into the bathroom. After finishing and washing his hands, he opened the door and was about to head out when he saw Troy lean over and kiss Brigitte.

“What the hell was that?” Brigitte quickly pulled away, and Marcus even more quickly closed the bathroom door again, although he couldn’t help but here what was going on in the other room.

“I leave tomorrow,” Troy said softly. “And I’ve had a crush for you forever. I just wanted to know what it felt like to kiss you.”

“Really?” Brigitte asked incredulously, although there was a hint of curiosity to her voice. “No strings attached? Just a kiss?”

“Just a kiss,” Troy echoed her words.

Suddenly, there was silence in the apartment, and Marcus felt bad for eavesdropping. He waited a minute, and then turned on the sink again. Turning it back off, he started loudly moving around the bathroom before finally opening the door. When he walked out, Brigitte and Troy were sitting on opposite ends of the bed, both blushing deeply.

“So, I guess I’m the lucky one,” Marcus told them, trying to soften their embarrassment as the sat on the floor. “I get to do road trips to both of you.”

The other two eased as Marcus spoke, and an hour later, Brigitte had passed out on the bed. Marcus handed Troy an extra blanket and watched as he tenderly placed it around her sleeping form.

“So how was it?” Marcus asked Troy with a grin. When he saw a nervous look cross Troy’s face, he continued. “The kiss. How was it, after all these years of build up?”

Blushing deeply, Troy took the pillow and blanket Marcus handed him and settled on the floor. “It was pretty awesome,” he grinned happily.

“I’m glad,” Marcus said as he put his own pillow on the floor, pulling a blanket over him. “It took balls to do that.”

“Thanks,” Troy grinned. “I just knew I had to.”

“I’m going to miss you, man,” Marcus told Troy a moment later.

“I’ll miss you, too.”

-----

Orientation was taking place in the early afternoon, which was fine for Marcus, since his shift at the skate shop didn’t start until five that day. He parked his beaten-up Honda in a visitor’s spot of the community college and climbed out of his car, looking around. Not far from him, in a secluded part of the parking lot, he saw a small crowd of guys and girls on skateboards.

“Marcus!” One of the guys called out. Curiously, Marcus watched as the guy jogged over to his car. “Dude, it is you.”

“Tony, it’s great to see you,” he grinned. Tony LaPerra and Marcus were the same age, but Tony had graduated from their high school the year before. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m taking a summer class,” Tony pointed at one of the many identical gray square buildings. “Just finished up. How ‘bout you?”

“I’m starting in Fall,” Marcus told him. “I’m here for some orientations/registration crap.”

“That’s cool,” Tony grinned, looking over towards the group of people. “You got some time?”

“I think so,” Marcus said.

“Got a board with you?” Tony asked.

Chuckling, Marcus nodded. “Always.” Reaching into the backseat of his car, he pulled out his favorite skateboard, which was well worn. Closing and locking the door behind him, he smiled at Tony.

“Then let me introduce you to some people,” Tony led him over to the group.

Marcus appreciated that Tony was going through an effort to be friendly, although he was a little apprehensive. All his skater friends tended to be big potheads, or at least heavy drinkers. Willing himself not to think about that, Marcus decided that it would be nice to have some people to say hello to when school finally started, and to skate with. He didn’t have to expect close friendships with these people. He had Troy and Brigitte for that.

-----

Pulling her red Beetle into a parking space, Michelle looked at the school and grumbled. She had gotten roped into doing this orientation for freshman by one of her professors. She always felt like she was getting roped into one thing or another. Glancing in the rearview mirror, she made sure her long dark-blonde hair was still neat in its ponytail. Reaching over, she grabbed the folders of information she would have to disburse and got out of the car, hitting a button on her key chain to lock the doors.

Laughter and loud voices were coming from a corner of the lot, and Michelle glanced over. She rolled her eyes when she saw a group of students skateboarding and taking part in general horseplay. When she had started college, Michelle had hoped she had gotten past the times of high school popularity, but she was wrong. This group was the perfect example – a bunch of overly-attractive slackers in trendy clothes.

Looking at them, Michelle recognized a girl who had been in an English class with her the previous year, who had missed about half of the classes and had looked stoned whenever she bothered to show up. She was surprised when her eye was caught by the most mellow looking guy in the group. He was fairly thin and toned, with black hair falling in his face that contrasted sharply with his bright blue eyes. He was on a skateboard, doing a trick that involved making the board flip under his feet and then landing on it again. Once he had completed it, a couple of the others hooted and clapped, and he gave them a big grin.

Shaking her head, Michelle looked away and began heading inside the school. The cocky grin on that guy’s face had been enough to tell her that he was as self-satisfied and arrogant as the rest of the group.

After finding her professor and helping set up the room for orientation, Michelle took a seat and looked over the brochure in her hand while she waited. She was just going to have to pass out some handouts and answer some questions. She doubted many students would show up anyway. Most people who attended the college didn’t take academics very seriously.

Only about a half-dozen people showed up, which didn’t surprise Michelle. What did surprise her was that one of those people was the guy she had noticed in the parking lot. His face, which was undeniably gorgeous, was flushed, he had a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead and he was short of breath.

As the professor stood up and welcomed the students, Michelle looked down at her paperwork, but kept glancing up to see how everyone was responding. Most of the people looked bored, but the skater-guy seemed to be listening closely and with interest. When the professor motioned towards Michelle, she stood up.

“Hello, everyone,” she said in a stiff tone. “I’m Michelle Campbell, and I’m a sophomore here. I have some information for you, and after it’s passed out, I’d be happy to answer any questions you may have.” Handing out the paperwork, Michelle waited in silence to see if anyone wanted to ask her anything.

“How many classes can you miss without failing?” one boy asked.

“Do students have parties here, like at real schools?” a girl asked.

“If I decide to withdraw on, like, the first day, can I get the money my parents paid, or does it go to them?” another girl asked.

Taking a deep breath to try to release some of the tension building in her shoulders, Michelle answered all the questions with short terse responses. Finally, the guy she had noticed earlier raised his hand, and Michelle felt annoyance build up in her. “This is an informal discussion,” she said coldly. “You don’t need to raise your hand.”

“Okay,” the guy said slowly, raising his eyebrows at her with confusion. “Um, I was just going to ask about counseling. I mean, if we aren’t sure what we want to study, are there counselors that can help us?”

Taken aback by the normal intelligent question, Michelle quickly pulled herself together. “Yes, in the same building as the registrar’s office, there are a few counselors who can help you with academic planning.”

“Thanks,” the guy replied with a grin. “That’s all I was wondering.”

Michelle couldn’t help but give him a little smile back.

-----

“Excuse me,” Michelle heard someone say as she was about to get back into her car. She spun around, and her face became hard as she saw who it was.

“Can I help you?” she asked coolly.

“Yeah, hi, I’m Marcus,” the guy from orientation gave her a big smile. “I just wanted to introduce myself.”

“Why?” Michelle’s brows furrowed together and her voice sounded suspicious.

Unsure how to answer the question, Marcus was silent for a moment. “Um, no reason really. I just wanted to thank you for answering my question.”

Looking at Marcus, Michelle didn’t know how to respond. He seemed to be sincere and friendly, but no one at this college was really like that. Any guy that went to this school that looked like this guy was a conceited idiot. “It was what Professor O’Hara asked me to do. I wasn’t doing you a personal favor.”

Shaking his head, Marcus looked a little annoyed. “Fine,” he said, seeming to be trying to keep his volume in check as he stepped back and put up his hands. “I was just trying to be friendly. Sorry if it came off wrong.” At that, he turned away and walked across the parking lot towards visitor parking.

Biting her lip, Michelle felt a little lump in her stomach. Marcus had actually seemed insulted by what she had said, meaning he probably was just trying to be friendly. “He’ll be fine,” Michelle thought to herself, pushing away any feelings of guilt. “He’ll go back to his beautiful friends and his cool skateboard, and he won’t even think twice about the bitchy nerd from orientation.” Convincing herself of this a little, Michelle climbed into the car and headed home, trying to not think again about this Marcus person.