Why Bother?

“I know that you’re just trying to help,” Joanne said to her roommate as she hung up the phone. “But please stop trying to set me up on blind dates.”

“It’s not a blind date if you’ve already met him,” Laurie replied with a roll of her eyes. “You met Mike. You even said he was cute. And he was drooling all over himself when he met you.”

“Well, that’s a big turn on in a man,” Laurie told her dryly. “Seriously, though, stop. I’m fine, really. I will find my own dates, thanks.”

Kneeling on her bed and pulling a big frilly white pillow into her lap, Laurie looked at her roommate curiously. “No, seriously, Jo,” she said, her brow furrowing. “When’s the last time you got laid?”

“Oh, good lord,” Joanne replied huffily. “Not everyone goes to college for frat parties and orgies, for your information.” Leaning back in her own bed, Joanne picked up the book she had been reading before the phone had rung. “Laurie, I appreciate your concern, but just let it go. I’ll date when I’m ready.”

Knowing that Laurie was still staring at her questioningly, Joanne pretended to read her book. In truth, she was wondering why she had turned down the date with Mike. When she had met him a couple weeks earlier, he had seemed attractive, intelligent and witty. But when she heard the words, “So, would you like to get together for coffee or something?” Joanne had frozen.

The answer was obvious, though. Why bother? Joanne had already had the perfect relationship, and look how that had turned out. Why bother dating right now, when there were important things like school and the future to focus on? Working hard had given Joanne an opportunity for a very bright future. Much brighter, she thought wryly, than all the girls she knew who went gallivanting with whatever boy paid attention to them that week.

“I’ve been roommates with you for the last three semesters,” Laurie interrupted Joanne’s thoughts. “You’ve been on, like, four dates in that whole time. And all of those consisted of, like, dinner and a movie, and then back to the dorm.” She looked at Joanne with concern. “Really, Jo, don’t you think it’s time to move on from high school heartbreak and start seeing someone – anyone?”

“There’s no way you would understand,” Joanne replied through clenched teeth. “So just take a hint and drop it.”

“Fine,” Laurie replied, sinking back into her own bed and picking up her headphones. “I’m just trying to help. Sorry I made the mistake of thinking we were friends.”

Sighing deeply, Joanne looked at Laurie. “I’m sorry,” she told her. “That wasn’t fair of me. Look, I appreciate that you want me to be happy, but right now, being with a guy is the last thing that would do that.”

Giving Joanne a small smile, Laurie nodded her head. “Okay, apology accepted.” She pursed her lips. “I guess I just don’t get it. You’re probably one of the prettiest girls on this whole campus, but you won’t go out with anyone who asks you.” Her eyes got wide as she thought of something. “Wait, are you gay?”

It was Joanne’s turn to roll her eyes. “Geez, Laurie. No, I’m not.” She shook her head and chuckled a little. “Wouldn’t that make things easier, though?” she laughed.

Smiling at her roommate, Laurie nodded. “You’d have no problems then,” she told her. “Girls who make out with other girls are the ones who get the most attention at parties,” she laughed.

Joanne looked at Laurie, trying to figure her out. As different as they were, she actually did like her roommate; Laurie was funny and sarcastic. She also cared about other people’s happiness, while always being the first up to have a good time. Actually, in a lot of ways, Laurie reminded Joanne of Eve.

I am not thinking about this, Joanne told herself. She had spent half her senior year of high school, along with her entire freshman year of college dwelling on Eve. God, she missed her. But as her therapist had said, dwelling on Eve wasn’t going to bring her back.

“Just trust me,” Joanne asked Laurie softly. “When I’m ready to whore myself out, I promise to let you be my pimp.”

Laurie laughed out loud. “Okay, but I get fifteen percent,” she giggled.

Right then, Joanne felt very lucky to have Laurie as a roommate. There were plenty of people in school that she could have gotten stuck with – ditzy girls, girls that thought they were better than her, girls that tried to rule her life. But like Eve, Laurie seemed happy to accept her differences with Joanne and just go with it.

-----

The beginning of high school had been very difficult for Joanne. She’d gone to the same elementary school and junior high as half of the people there, and they all knew her as a brain – a dork that did too much homework and ruined the curve on tests. During her freshman year, she just accepted the reputation.

About three week after tenth grade had begun, Joanne was in the bathroom. It was her free period, and she was hiding in a stall, trying to avoid anyone who would tease her. Suddenly, she heard sobbing.

“Are you okay?” Joanne asked to a girl crying in the corner. As soon as she the girl raised her head, though, she regretted offering her sympathy. She realized that she was talking to Eve Reynolds.

“I… I’m… I’m okay,” Eve sobbed. She was sitting on the floor of the girls’ room – not something very many students did by choice – and she was choking back her sobs.

“Are you sure?” Joanne asked nervously. “Can I get you something? Water? Soda?”

“You don’t have a cigarette, do you?” Eve asked, looking up with red-rimmed eyes.

Shaking her head and wishing she did, Joanne had to admit that she didn’t. “No,” she said tentatively. “But I know that there’s a machine at Safeway…” She didn’t know why she said it, but the words had already tumbled out of her mouth. “It’s only a couple blocks away…” Joanne no longer had control over what she was saying.

“Will you come with me?” Eve asked, her voice soft. She was obviously in a bad state. Being one of the most popular girls in school, there was very little reason for her to ask one of the biggest losers in the class to hang out.

“Sure,” Joanne answered quickly, surprising herself. She helped Eve stand up, and then followed her as she snuck them off school grounds.

Eve and Joanne didn’t speak as they walked the few blocks to the grocery store. Joanne stood by nervously as Eve fed money into the cigarette machine; she was afraid that a security guard would walk up at any moment, but no one did.

Outside, Eve offered Joanne a cigarette, which she accepted tentatively. She lit it with a lighter Eve handed her, and started coughing as soon as the smoke entered her body.

Laughing, Eve looked at her. “Never smoked before?” she asked. But, surprisingly to Joanne, her question didn’t seem like a judgment.

“No, I’m sorry,” Joanne said quietly.

“Why are you sorry?” Eve asked, taking a deep drag of her own cigarette. “You don’t have to smoke to be my friend.”

Looking at the girl standing in front of her, Joanne was taken aback. Had Eve just referred to her as a friend? It couldn’t be. From the first day she had started in their high school halfway through freshman year, Eve had been one of the most sought after girls in their class. With her long blond hair and big blue eyes, she resembled a real-life Barbie doll. There was no way she’d want to be friends with Joanne.

“You know, everyone that goes to that school is a wanna-be,” Eve said, almost answering Joanne’s question. “Do you want to know why I was crying?” she asked honestly.

“Not if you don’t want to tell me,” Joanne answered, scared of losing the few moments she was sharing with the coolest girl in school. “I mean, if you want to tell me…”

“I went on a date with Craig Sherman last night,” Joanne said coolly, ignoring the nervousness in Joanne’s voice. “And it was going well… and we were outside the movie theater after the movie was over, making out, you know.” Joanne nodded as if she knew what Eve was talking about. “And we were having fun… and he tried reaching for my pants, and I stopped that immediately…” Her eyes were filling with tears, making Joanne feel very sorry for her.

“And I actually had to, like, push him away. And he was all pissed, but I thought, ‘What the hell, so this prick doesn’t ask me out again.” Blush was filling Eve’s cheeks by now, making Joanne feel badly for her. “And so this morning, I come to school, and apparently he told everybody that I… that I blew him last night.”

Joanne felt terribly for Eve, seeing how distressed she was, but suddenly Eve’s shoulders straightened. “So I walked up to him during homeroom and told him off.” She started crying again suddenly. “I didn’t…. I didn’t care what other… what other guys thought…” she sobbed, resting her head on Joanne’s shoulder. “It’s just… Tiffany and Dina… they… they believed him.” Joanne finally wrapped her arms around Eve uncertainly. “They told me it was fine to blow him, but not to lie about it.” Eve looked Joanne in the eye. “I didn’t blow him. I swear.”

“I believe you,” Joanne told her, embarrassed by her own words. “I mean, I don’t know you… or Craig… but you just don’t seem like somebody who would lie about something like that.”

“Thanks,” Eve said, sniffling. “Listen, can you come to my house now? My mom’s out ‘antiquing’ all day,” she continued sarcastically. “I’d love to just have someone to hang out with.”

“Yeah,” Joanne replied, before the words even reached her brain. “I’d like that.” Joanne had never skipped a class, let alone half a day of school. But Eve’s invitation was just too tempting to turn down.

------

Joanne didn’t get caught for skipping that day, although she wouldn’t have cared if she did. It would have been worth it. Eve’s house was huge, and her wardrobe was even larger. Eve begged Joanne to share a bottle of wine that she had hidden under her bed, and by the time they were done with it, Joanne was ready to do whatever Eve asked.

“You know,” Eve said, looking in the mirror in her bedroom as she pulled Joanne’s hair up. “You are really beautiful.”

“Shut up,” Joanne said, blushing. She had never drank that much alcohol before. “I’m smart,” she told Eve, trying to sound confident. “I don’t care if I’m not pretty.”

Smirking, Eve shook her head. “But you are pretty,” she stated plainly. “Probably the prettiest girl in the school, besides me, of course.”

Eve’s confidence was intimidating but contagious at the same time. “No, I’m just… really smart.”

Not looking at Joanne, Eve had begun brushing her hair. She picked up a scissor, and looked at Joanne’s eyes in the mirror. “Do you trust me?” she asked, smiling.

“Well…” Joanne started, but it was too late. Eve had already cut a chunk out of her hair. She gasped, seeing it drop to the floor.

“I promise,” Eve said, looking at Joanne’s expression. “You’re going to look amazing.”

Surprised at her resolve, Joanne just nodded, watching Eve trim her hair. After she had cut what she wanted, Eve started styling Joanne’s hair with water and gel. By the end, what had started out as long, lazy brown locks turned out to be shoulder-bouncing auburn curls. “Now, let’s put you in something sexy,” Eve smiled.

“No,” Joanne protested drunkenly. “Really, I like my hair, but I don’t know what you’re trying to do.” Her intoxication took the best of her. “I’m sorry if you’re friends suck, but I can’t be a replacement, no matter what you do.”

Spinning the chair Joanne sat in quickly, Eve dropped to her knees in front of her. “Don’t be a bitch,” Eve told her, with no animosity in her voice. “You were just so nice to me today when you didn’t have to be, and I want to do the same thing for you.”

“Well,” Joanne said with a smile. “I’m not into, like, black satin pants and low-cut tank tops…”

“Were you planning on putting on a remake of Grease?” Eve smirked, making Joanne smile. “No, let’s just look in my closet and see what fits your style.”

In the end, after much argumentation, Eve and Joanne agreed on an outfit. It consisted of a simple pair of black pinstriped pants and a white t-shirt that was form fitting. “You have great boobs,” Eve told her. “I wish I had any.”

“Shut up,” Joanne answered her, surprising herself. “I mean, I had a great time today, but I’m not expecting a haircut and the right clothes to make me the Homecoming Queen.”

“Well, good,” Eve said, rising and grabbing her blush brush. “Because I’m going to be Homecoming Queen. I have to wait until next year, when we’re juniors… but I will be.” Joanne laughed at Eve’s confidence.

“No, really,” Eve continued, looking non-plussed. “And you truly are beautiful, so stop denying it.” She swept some blush on Joanne’s cheeks and then put down the brush to pick up the mascara. “Do you know who my brother is?” she asked suddenly as she applied the makeup.

“I’ve seen him around school,” Joanne replied nervously.

Smiling, Eve shook her head. “So you’ve never met him, then?” she asked, exchanging the mascara for lip-gloss.

“Well, um, gorgeous members of the soccer team don’t usually pay attention to math geeks.”

“He’ll be home in a few minutes. He’ll be our first experiment, seeing what people think of the new you.”

Pushing away the lip gloss and blushing deeply, Joanne stood up. “No, Eve, there’s no way… I couldn’t… I can’t talk to your brother,” Joanne sputtered, heat rising in her cheeks. Jake Reynolds had been the talk of the school since he had started there – almost as much as Eve. He was tall and lean, dark and beautiful. Never somebody who would notice Joanne even if she bumped into him.

“Don’t be silly,” Eve smiled happily at Joanne. “You can and you will talk to him. I will introduce you two when he gets home.”

Not knowing how to stop the hurricane that was Eve, Joanne just took her hand and followed her into the kitchen. Without speaking, Eve started making sandwiches. She handed Joanne the bread and mayonnaise, and she pulled out some ham and swiss.

“Hey, Eve,” Jake said, walking into the kitchen with a gym bag over his shoulder. “Mom’s going to fry you when she realizes you cut gym.”

Smiling at her brother, Eve nodded. “Thanks for the heads-up. Oh, have you met my friend… Joey?” Joanne threw a dirty look at Eve, but Jake didn’t notice.

“Hey,” Jake smiled at her. “Nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” Joanne choked out. Feeling Eve elbow her in the gut, she turned to Jake with as strong a smile as she could muster. “We’re making some sandwiches. Would you like one?”

“Actually, I’m starving,” Jake smiled at her. “I’d love one.”

At once, Joanne felt Eve’s self-satisfied glance and Jake’s look of interest. Silently, she made his sandwich. “Here you go,” she finally squeaked out.

“Thanks,” Jake said. “Hey, do you go to our school?”

“Yeah,” Joanne admitted nervously. “I’m a sophomore. Joa… Joey Anderson.” She glanced over at Eve, who was smiling brightly as she bit into a sandwich.

“Well, Joa- Joey, thanks for the sandwich,” Jake said with a sincere smile. “And I’ll keep an eye out for you.” Quickly, he moved into the living room.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Eve dropped her sandwich. “That was so perfect! Tiffany and Dina throw themselves at Jake every time they are over here, and he never even glances their way. But he was totally checking you out.”

Smiling, Joanne couldn’t help but feel good. “Thanks, Eve,” she smiled. “This has been the best, like, half-day of my life.”

“And this is just the start,” Eve promised, picking her sandwich back up and taking a big bite.

------

Eve was true to her word. After the gossip about her and Craig had subsided, Dina and Tiffany had come crawling back. “We never thought that you went down on him.” Tiffany promised at lunch one day. “I mean, you know that, right?”

Looking Tiffany straight in the eyes, Eve shook her head sympathetically. Joanne was sure that after the few weeks of amazing fun they had shared, this was it. “Tiffany,” Eve said with a smile. “I don’t care if you think I blew him or not. You’re just mad that you didn’t get to his cock first.”

Joanne nearly choked on her salad, hearing Eve’s response. “Fine, then,” Dina finally responded. “If you’re happy hanging out with the Geek Squad here, we don’t care.”

“Oh, don’t be a bitch,” Eve said. “Just because Jo is prettier than you…” Eve looked over meaningfully at Joanne, making her smile.

“Yeah, go blow whoever you want,” Joanne added, surprising even herself. “We won’t judge you.”

As Dina and Tiffany walked away with amazement, Eve leaned over with a smile, taking Joanne’s hand. “Joey,” she said. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“I didn’t,” Joanne smiled. “Not until I met you.”

------

Joanne and Eve were inseparable after that. One afternoon, after watching a couple hours of bad television, Eve looked at her watch. “Listen, um… do you mind making us something to eat?” Eve smiled knowingly. “I’m just going to change.”

Nodding with confusion, Joanne rose. She headed into the kitchen and began pulling out sandwich fixings. “Hey, Joey,” she heard over her shoulder. “Can I get one of those?”

Jake was standing in front of Joanne, with his gym bag over his shoulder. Seeing him like this had become a regular routine, as had fixing him a sandwich and chatting for a few minutes in the afternoons. “Sure,” she said, pulling two more pieces of bread out of the bag.

“Where’s Eve?” Jake asked, looking around.

“She went to change,” Joanne said, putting a butter knife into the mayonnaise jar and spreading it on the bread. “She’ll just be a minute.”

“Could you actually stop for a second and come here?” Jake asked kindly, causing Joanne to nod as she put down the knife and walked to the other side of the breakfast island.

Joanne looked up at Jake, her heart pounding in her chest. “Yeah?” she asked as calmly as she could.

“Well,” Jake said, dropping his bag on the ground and blushing slightly. “I actually asked Eve to not be in here with you when I got home today.” He gently reached out for Joanne’s hand, which she gave him nervously, and she followed him into the living room. Seeing him sit on the couch, Joanne did the same thing.

“See,” Jake blushed a little more. “The thing is, I wanted to get you alone… to ask you if you’d like to go out sometime.”

Suddenly, a squeal came from behind them. Eve was standing in the dining area, a big grin on her face. “Sorry,” she smiled. “This is just awesome.”

“Get lost,” the red in Jake’s cheeks intensified. “At least give her time to say yes before you yelp like a dog.” Taking Joanne’s hands into his, Jake smiled. “So, are you going to break my sister’s heart, or is it a yes?”

Joanne couldn’t believe what was going on around her. Dumbly, she nodded. As Jake’s eyes lit up, she finally shook off the surprise and began to smile. She couldn’t believe it. Jake Reynolds had asked her on a date.

“Great,” Jake smiled widely. “How’s Friday?”

“Friday?” Joanne repeated, her voice caught in her throat. “Friday’s perfect,” she finally forced out.

“Okay,” Jake grinned, suddenly leaning over to kiss her cheek. “So, I’ll get your address from Eve. Then Friday, say, seven?”

Joanne just nodded, and Jake smiled. He stood and walked out of the room and into the kitchen to finish making his sandwich. Immediately Eve rushed in. “I knew it!” she shrieked. “I knew he liked you!”

With her eyes filling with tears, Joanne threw her arms around Eve. “Thank you so much,” she gushed. “Without you… without you…”

“Without me, you guys wouldn’t have met,” Eve said simply, pulling away from her. “But I’ve known a lot of girls… and I’ve never seen him like this before,” she finished, grinning widely at her friend. “He babbles about you when you’re not around, you know. ‘Where’s Joey?’, ‘Hey, is Joey coming over today?’, ‘You should invite Joey to come with us’. It’s just a hair away from being gross.”

“Still, thank you, Eve,” Joanne replied, throwing her arms back around her best friend. “My life has gotten so much better since I met you.”

“I know. I rock.”