Shades of Immortality

Title: Shades of Immortality
Rating: R
Warnings: Loads of angst, violence.
Disclaimer: All characters are my own, however I do no own the song \'Krwlng\' by Linkin Park featured through-out the story.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He sat at the bottom floor of a once busy, hyperactive company building. Watching with his back against the cold, hard concrete wall, as papers and once important assignments flew unnoticed down the gray streets. He stared at the blood red haze of the setting sun, it's presence now crushed him. For but only a while ago it comforted him. Now it was a symbol of hatred, of loss, of all the blood shed, of an indescribable pain that filled his body until he was numb.

[Crawling in my skin"¦]

He didn't know how long he mindlessly stared at the vast never ending sky. Just the thought of it being "˜never ending' was enough to send his emotions running high. His eyes finally losing the hazy look about them, and darting about swiftly as he was struck in the heart by the sorrow he knew wouldn't hit him too lightly. He looked back at the sky, the redness that once radiated over the dead city was now gone. He stood up from where he sat, screaming "˜NO!' in his mind. Everyone and everything had long left him. He was so desperate for the presence of something, that he was begging the torturous sunset to stay.

[Crawling in my skin.
Without a sense of confidence"¦]

His eyes were wide and unmoving. His lips parted and dry, his breathing uneven.

[Consuming, confusing"¦]

His breathing sped up and he clumsily backed away from the last remaining light. Oblivious to where he was stumbling, until he found his back against the cracked wall of the building again.

[Crawling in my skin"¦]

He stared into the enveloping darkness, his eyes adjusting to it as he made out shapes in the abyss before him.

[Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take"¦]

His eyes darted to the opposite wall, there was a light illuminating from it.

[There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface"¦]

The wall suddenly opened, something was reaching through it, huge slabs of broken concrete crumbling before his eyes. His breathing hitched as he watched what looked to be a blurred dream, huge hands reached through the wall to create a bigger opening. Long, thick nails spouted from the giant hands, looking like they could easily slice him into pieces. Tears started making their way down his face. Yes, yes those claws could tear him apart, but he would only be reborn. He would only come back again to live in loneliness. Only come back again, to live forever. The shock faded as the creature emerged more and more through the opposing wall. He didn't care what it was, there was nothing in this world that could kill him. There never was. Being the only immortal to live on earth, he knew these days would come. The days of extinction for the human race, he dreaded more than the humans did themselves.

He looked at the full size of the creature that now stood only meters away from him. There was no reason to care what this monster did to him. No reason to fear it. No reason to hate or love it.

[Crawling in my skin
(crawling in my skin)
These wounds, they will not heal
(These wounds won't heal)
Fear is how I fall
(Fear is how I fall)
Confusing, confusing what is real"¦
(Confusing what is real"¦)]

He sat there, feeling pathetic and weak. All pride gone out the window. His eyes crept up the monster's form until they laid sight on its face. He blinked and looked down as it screeched at him. If he were a common human, he would have ran for his life. There was no need. He couldn't die by the death-grip of these planet destroying fiends. And what life did he have anyway? Constantly watching and waiting for his loved ones to pass away from the earth. It was sad to have to witness so many close friends die, but he envied them more then he mourned for their deaths. At the end of their lives, they went to the heavens. He didn't believe there was a safe haven or an evil one. Anywhere away from here, and away from his life, was considered a worshipped place.

[There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface,
Consuming, confusing.
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending.
Controlling, I can't seem"¦
To find myself again, my walls are closing in.
Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take.
I've felt this way before, so insecure.]

He lifted himself from his slouching position before the monster and walked out of the further crumbling building and looked to the sky. The moon was emerging from behind dark clouds. The small amount of light making it possible to see just in front of his face. He didn't stand long however, as he fell to his knees. Feeling the earth shake beneath him, as he had felt so many times before. The monster was stomping up towards him from behind. If he were as self-centered as some humans were, he would have turned around and shouted into the monster's face. Telling him to bring it on! Stating that he could not be killed. In the end he would be left standing. He would be left with the pride of a King. But there was no point. Who would he rule over? Who would worship him? Who would bring this thing humans called "˜food' to him on a plate? He never fully understood humans and their obsession with food. Mainly because he didn't need such a thing in order to survive. His thoughts were abruptly cut short as the approaching monster took a swipe at his body. He looked down to see the huge claws slash through his flesh. He felt no pain, but on the inside, his mind was screaming for someone to take his soul from his body, and grant him access to their kingdom.

[Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal.
Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real.]

His body felt heavy as he fell forward, his face slapping against the cracked ground. Rain started to patter down on his lifeless body as his soul slowly started healing. He opened his eyes slightly and let the tears start to fall again, mixing with the rain that was now pelting down.

[Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me.
Distracting, reacting"¦]

Suddenly his body rose from the ground on its own accord, floating some feet from where he lay. A green light broke through his body, tearing him apart even more. He screamed, not because it hurt, but because he didn't want this to happen anymore. Time after time he had felt this feeling. This horrible feeling of coming to life again. But for what purpose now? He looked down where he once lay. Wishing he were still there, wanting someone to knock him into the ground harshly until he decayed away like some disease-ridden road kill.

[Against my will I stand beside my own reflection,
It's haunting, how I can't seem"¦]

The invisible force surrounding him left him suddenly, leaving him to drop to the floor. The monster was still standing not far away, staring dumbly at him. A spark of hope lit inside, wondering if he could take the time to change this monster into some comforting companion. The monster backed away, seeming scared of him now, and his immortal power, thinking he was going to destroy him right then and there. The monster took off, crashing through the remainder of buildings and sped off into the atmosphere. The immortal stood there, feeling his insides crashing and burning. His last resort of finding company was gone. There was nothing left.

["¦to find myself again, my walls are closing in.
Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take.
I've felt this way before, so insecure!]

He snapped. His usual peaceful, but angst filled personality vanished as a violent one appeared in his mind's eye. The dead earth almost reawakening as he screamed. He ran down the lonely streets, jaw clenched tightly, tears burning in his eyes. He stopped suddenly to rip a pipe sticking out from the ground. He ran as fast his feet would take him as he sped towards a church that he used to attend. Hearing all the wonderful things that the heavens had to offer. He soon found himself standing in front of the only remaining part of the once humble sanctuary. The tears burned even hotter as his grip tightened on the steel pipe clenched in his fists. He ran towards the cross sticking from the burnt earth. He yelled as he struck it, steel meeting steel, the vibration of it wracking his arms. He ruthlessly continued to swing away at it. Portraying his frustration and sorrow as he hit the cross so hard, that the pipe flew from his hand at the force. He stopped to look at what he had done, dropping to his knees once again and holding the cross firmly to his drenched clothes. His insides were being torn again as the pain grew even more. Still gripping the cross he looked to the dark skies and screamed to the heavens "WHY WILL YOU NOT TAKE ME?!!?!" Thoughts reeling in his mind. Thinking of all the times he had departed and reappeared. Of all the people that came and vanished from his life. Of all the times he fell in love. Of his parents that took care of him when whoever it was put him on this earth, those thousands of years ago. Of all the pain he saw the earth endure. And now of the loneliness he would forever feel.

[Without a sense of confidence
(confidence)
Without a sense of confidence
(confidence)
Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take.
Without a sense of confidence
(confidence)
Without a sense of confidence
(confidence)
Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take.]

Unaware of what was going on around him as his thoughts consumed him. He was now rising from the earth, he opened his eyes finally to see he was 40 feet from the ground and still rising. He wondered, had his plea been answered? The speed increased as shock and fascination took hold of him, causing him to drop the cross he once held so tightly. He was now exiting the earth's atmosphere and was speeding past stars. Hope once again rose in his chest. Was he being taken to the heavens? Or was he being taken to his home planet? He didn't care where he was going, he had a feeling he wouldn't be feeling lonely for much longer.

[To find myself again, my walls are closing in.
Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take.
I've felt this way before, so insecure.]

He saw a planet approaching. He felt his speed increasing as he entered its atmosphere. He saw greenery. His breath caught in his throat as he smiled slightly at the lush trees. It had been so long, too long since he had laid eyes on such a beautiful sight. He was approaching the surface quickly, the once again invisible force vanished just as he was to hit the ground. He landed on bent knees as he looked around his surroundings. He breathed in the clean air, free of pollution and destruction. He now stood, feeling light-headed. The hill he landed on seemed to roll on forever, but as he looked closer down at the greenery, he noticed miniature dots sticking from the ground. Could they be beings of his race? He couldn't wait any longer to find out as he ran so fast down the hill to the trees, that he nearly tumbled down. He stopped to see that they weren't of his race. They weren't even of any form of life. They were"¦stone. Pieces of stone sticking from the ground, they reminded him of the tombstones that were on earth. He looked around and found one in which the writing on it had not faded. He was looking for one word, and he found it "˜Died'. He kept a bit of faith inside him, as maybe immortals could kill other immortals. Perhaps that was the answer! He saw the road leading out of the graveyard and followed it for ages, until it came out into a street. He walked along it cautiously until he smelt death. The smell of"¦.food. "˜No"¦' his mind rang. He now ran until he saw a restaurant. People inside happily stuffing their faces. He looked at them, they looked like humans, even though he himself looked like one also. The hope faded away quickly as he continued to stare at them devouring their food. Immortals didn't need to eat. Maybe his race had changed over time, and that the newer generation of Immortals needed food. There was only one way to find out if they were human or not. He walked into the restaurant and straight into the kitchen. The chefs and waiters watching as he just seemed to make himself at home. But he was looking for something, he found it as he looked about the kitchen. He picked the knife up and proceeded to walk out into the eating area. A chef tried to stop him, and he did stop. Only to turn around and to slash the knife through the chef's body, several times. His eyes moved down to see blood. False hope raised in him to think that maybe this planet was made up on humans and immortals. He left the human to bleed as he moved out among the tables of people. He ran in between them, slashing and cutting everyone in sight. Blood painting the walls. He stood back and saw what he had done. They were all humans. Anger overtook him as he threw the knife at the opposite wall, blood dripping from it. He grabbed his head and screamed. He had lived through all those lives on earth, watched the planet be destroyed, watched his friends and lovers die, only to be put on an exact same planet! Where everything that took place before, would happen again! He curled himself into a ball as he sank to the floor. Police officers busted through the doors some time later, stood him up, handcuffed him, and walked him out of the restaurant as ambulances with medics arrived, rushing past him to take care of the injured and dying.

He stared out the window of the police car, watching people be carried out into ambulances. Some of them already dead. Reflecting on what he just did.

[Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal.
Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real.
Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal.
Fear is how I fall, confusing"¦confusing what is real.]

He thought back to only a while ago, where he sat looking at the setting sun. Now wishing he was back there. Alone. Rather than be here and be tortured by the sight of living humans. Knowing that they would all die one day. And he would be alone, left with his immortal suffering.