I'm With You

Title: I'm With You
Author: Silverfang
Rating: R for teen-angst...not sure what else, really...

Summary: Song-fic based on the song "˜I'm With You' by Avril Lavigne. Obviously somewhat sad, heartbreak implied, and waiting for...someone.

Dedicated to Josh. I'm always with you, wherever you are, and I'll wait as long as it takes. I've waited so long already, and a little while longer won't matter much.

Disclaimer: Avril Lavigne\'s song. I can also crack crystal with this one.

A/N: Well, could someone review please and tell me if they think this is good, because I'm thinking about giving this to Josh, and I don't want it to suck. Please, opinions?

~I'm With You~

-I\'m standing on the bridge
I\'m waiting in the dark
I thought that you\'d be here by now-

I've been alone for so long. My family hates me. I'm a loner at school. The "weird kid." The one who stays in the corner and doesn't talk to anyone. The one who never wants to participate. The one who sits alone at lunch, and sits on the benches at recess and won't play. Usually it's by choice. I scare people away because...well, I don't know why. It's not that I want to be alone. I'm lonely, here on my bench, or in my corner. But I do it anyway.

-There\'s nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I\'m listening, but there\'s no sound-

I want a friend. Someone I can count on to whatever end. I want...what could only be called a lover, too, even if I am young. A boyfriend, then. When all the other girls started dating, I...never did. No one ever had a crush on me. No one ever caught my eye but once, and that would have been the hugest mistake I'd ever make, if I'd gone for him. He was a liar and a horror to what I consider my heart.

-Isn\'t anyone trying to find me?
Won\'t somebody come take me home
It\'s a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life-

Doesn't anyone want me? Doesn't anyone care? Does anyone understand how much this hurts, to be lonely, dying inside to love someone, but knowing, knowing that if anyone ever caught my heart; managed to get under my shields and through my tough hide, that the love I would give would be worthless? Garbage to anyone I gave it to.

-Won\'t you, take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don\'t know who you are but I, I\'m with you
I\'m with you-

I didn't know there could be anyone for me to love, who would actually not only accept that love, but love me back. Isn't that funny? I never really knew that. I never thought it was possible. I thought I'd just devote myself meaninglessly to someone who didn't know or care that I existed.

-I\'m looking for a place
I\'m searching for a face
Is anybody here I know-

I looked a long time before I gave up. The kids in my class were...monsters. Love was a game. A game to play for awhile, then throw away. They never even considered the fact that it might never come back, or might never have come at all for some people.

Like the girl in the corner. The one everyone hated.

-Cause nothing\'s going right and
Everythings a mess
And no one likes to be alone-

I thought I liked being alone. I always said I did, and I guess I started to believe it, and it didn't matter that it was a lie anymore. I mean, of course, to get away from people and deal with myself, yes. But not all the time. I hate to see people laughing when I'm sad. I have a self-destructive side, and it adores those moments when I see something I can never have.

-Isn\'t anyone trying to find me?
Won\'t somebody come take me home
It\'s a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life-

I wasn't sure that I cared anymore. Loneliness was...a habit. I couldn't break it, nor did I truly want to, because if I accepted that it wasn't something I desired, than, even deep down, I would crack again. And I've cracked so many times before. I didn't know if I could handle another one.

-Won\'t you, take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don\'t know who you are but I, I\'m with you
I\'m with you-

But now, I can handle the loneliness, because there's a cure.

You, sweetheart.

Loneliness might be a horrible thing, but when I get deep down in my little wells and pits of despair, I know it will break eventually, because I can't help but smile when I see you. I can't help feeling happy, or forgetting my worries, at least temporarily.

-Oh, why is everything so confusing
Maybe I\'m just out of my mind-

It's confusing sometimes, talking to you. At first, I thought you were just a crush; someone I would get over, and, as always, out of reach. But when I tried to give up on you, I realized I couldn't.

-Yeah Yeah Yeah-

I couldn't.

-Yeah Yeah-

I can't.

-Yeah Yeah-

I don't want to.

-Yeah Yeah-

I won't.

-Yeah
It\'s a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life-

Now all I have to figure out is what to do with what we have. I know what I want, and I know to go slow. You don't have to tell me that. Pushing whatever relationship we'll have on you will only make the hurt you have now worse, and I'm going to give you all the time and help you need to heal. I know how betrayed trust feels, and how love hurts.

You have all the time you need and want.

-Won\'t you, take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don\'t know who you are but I, I\'m with you
I\'m with you-

We're going to go places, you and me. Don't worry. This is going to be different. Being starved of love does weird things to people, but it did something good for me, I think. Which means that it will help you.

-Take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don\'t know who you are but I, I\'m with you-

I know who you are now. I've been waiting forever for you to come, and now you're here, and it's perfect, even if we're not in a full-blown relationship. I think we are, in a way, but not physical. Emotional, which might be worse for you, but as I said. I'm not going to push, and I refuse to hurt you.

-I\'m with you-

I found you now, and it'll be okay sooner than you think.

-Take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don\'t know who you are but I, I\'m with you-

I know who you are now.

-I\'m with you-

I want to help you heal, and make all your dreams come true.

-I\'m with you-

And I'm always with you, to whatever end. Not even Death itself could take me.

~All my love, Meaghan a.k.a. Silverfang