The Dead.

In the darkness I sit,

crying tears that I can’t feel,

caused by pains of fragmented memory...

no longer able to remember why they hurt me.

They say my eyes are like glass - cold and empty.

But to me everyone’s eyes looks that way.

They say I feel nothing... they’re wrong.

Il thl the pain.

The lamentations of my loved ones have become like a lullaby.

The loneliness is soothing;

The darkness consuming.

I smile and laugh

I tell my friends what they need to hear to make it through another day in they’re own lives,

Lies. My words save them, and condemn me.

I am the dead who breaths and bleeds.

Suicide is like a diluted fantasy;

Death holds no salvation for me.

In the end I am alone.

Pieces of forgot dreams,

and the smiles of those whom have betrayed me...

They haunt me in my sleep.

I’ve lost everyone and everything I once loved

and I have damaged what remains beyond repair.

I can not get back the past,

nor can I forget it.

The present is numbing

and the future is nonexistent.

I have no dreams;

I have no wishes;

no hopes;

no trust;

Temporary distractions are all I have left.

No one knows the truth about me,

and when they learn it they all end up hating me.

No one understands anything.

They lie to me and use me...

and I let them; knowing full well they are doing so. because they are my so called ‘friends’ and I love them.

Heartless bitch. That is my most common ‘nick name,’

I suppose in a way it suits me.

Perhaps some day I’ll finally be rid of all those stupid emotions that only make me cry,

and it will no longer be a lie.

Someone once said it was better to havved ved and lost then never to have loved at all...

what bullshit.

I’ve had love, as well as ‘true happiness’ as they say

in my opinion the pain of longing for those things and not knowing what they were, was

nothing compared to the pain of having them ripped away.

Yet for some reason I want to see tomorrow,

even though I have nothing to live for.