The day I died

The damn alarm. 6 fucking 30 a.m. again. The day was breaking, and I knew what I had to do. My backpack was packed, my fate sealed. The day began like some sick Norman Rockwell painting with birds chirping and the sun rays creeping through the blinds urging all the rosy cheeked little good boys and girls out of bed and on to school. All the football players and cheerleaders were getting thier healthy breakfasts of Wheaties and smoke up thier asses by thier small minded, conformist, right wing, bible thumping parents. Would these golden examples of useless, mindless sheep be ripe for slaughter today; I planned on it.
So maybe you saw me in the halls before. Maybe you were one of the ones who called me names or decided that since I was not the ideal rich kid, that you would put me in the dumpster and laugh. Maybe the holes in my shoes offended you or the way I would wear the same thing twice in one week. Pity, I could have liked you. Soon a handful of cold steel will make me your God. My drunk step dad, what a joke, he never even thought of locking his gun cabinet. Laughing, I rose from bed, for the first time eager for school.
After the mundane tasks of showering and dressing, I nervously took inventory of the cache in my backpack. Two baretta nine millimeters, four extra clips, two handmade pipebombs, and one vile of sodium cyanide for myself when the job was done. I had done my homework. I knew the risk involved, I knew it would be my lday.day.
The conversation last night was still ringing in my head. Why would Clara, the school slut take interest in me. Why should I care. She must have seen how they taunted me, harrassed me, and belittled me. She must have known that I had shoes thrown at me in gym class when they saw the holes my own shoes and had trash thrown at me durning lunch. She\'s no martyr, no saint, infact she\'s either setting me up for another one of thier stupid pranks they find so amusing or else, perhaps even more painful; she feels sorry for me. I\'ll show them, now everyone will feel sorry for them. Maybe she won\'t look so pretty with a bullet in her head.
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\"He\'s so deep and wonderful, I wonder why he always looks so sad.\"
\"Forget that freak, Clara.\" a squeaky voiced cheerleader said to me as we waited for bell.
I took a long drap off my cigarette, obviously disturbed by my friends comment. \"Come on Michelle just because his family isn\'t very well off doesn\'t mean hes a bad guy or some freak.\"
\"Oh Clara, come on, he wears a black trench coat and wears make up! I mean, look at him, he looks like hes gonna shoot up the school or something some day!\"
\"Maybe they deserve it.\" I said under my breath.
The bell rang.
\"Okay, I\'m going to class. You can wait for your freak if you want, but don\'t forget the pep rally at noon.
I was glad to see Michelle go. Maybe I could be alone. Maybe I would see James coming to school. He usually walked to school so I knew he would be late. I always waited for him in this spot. He\'ll come, I know it. A week ago I gave him my phone number, I wonder why he waited till last night to call. Perhaps I am meant to just admire him from a distance forever.
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Stupid Clara! Why is she spying on me. She doesnt suspect anything does she? Okay, game plan James. Enter the left fire exit, it never rings. I use it to sneak into the halls all the time when I\'m running late. Place one pipe bomb in the boys room directly to the left in a trash can. Have it set for noon during the pep rally. Go to the other bathroom upstairs and down the hall. Place the other bomb in the trash there. That one is going to be great, its right above the auditorium where they have the pep rallies. Go the rest of the day until noon, and then unload a spray of lead into the pep rally crowd when I hear the first bomb go off. Why is she stairing at me? Okay first step sneak past Clara to the door and into the hall..
\"James!\"
Turning slowly, I acknoledged the preppie homecoming queen wanna be.
\"What!\" I stopped to look her intensely in her eyes.
\"ummm, hi. remember me.\"
\"Should I ?\"
\"We had a class together last year...I just\"
\"Look I gotta go.\"
I walked briskly away, not caring what the next sentence would be from her.
Okay past the princess and now the door..and whew...no alarm. Not that I expected it, but today would definatly not be the day for it. Placing the first bomb in the bathroom, I started getting a queasy pit in my stomach. I knew what I was doing, but it felt good.
After the seemingly endless stairs and hallway, the second bomb was in place. Both were timed to go off at exactly noon. It was now 8 15 a.m., I had approximately four hours and forty five minutes to live.

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9 am

I have got to find James, he looked even more disturbed than normal. I hope he didn\'t decide to cut first period again. Poor guy, he doesn\'t have many friends. He needs me. I waited outside of James\' first period class until he finally exited the classroom, eyes downcast as always.
\"James! whats up? Are you okay?\'
James stopped aburptly and turned to me in his typical solemn way.
\"Whats it to you?\"
James started to walk away again. I caught up to him immediately.
\"James, I think there gonna be doing locker and backpack searches next period, sucks huh..I guess I better get my cigarettes out of my locker huh?\"
I chuckled in what I thought was my best flirtatious way, hoping I was telling him that I wasn\'t some goody two shoes.
\"WHAT!? ..they can\'t do that, not today!\"
\"Whats wrong James?\"
\" Uh nothing. I mean I have a sack in my backpack and I just bought it. I don\'t want to have to flush it.\"
\"Hey, I have an idea then. Why don\'t we ditch. My house is just a few blocks away and my folks aren\'t home.
\"Good idea..lets get out of here\"

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9 30 am

We arrived at Clara\'s place. It was just as I expected; clean, not a bottle of boose in the place. There were dead animal heads everywhere on the walls staring me down and I wondered what it must have felt like to be the one that shot them. The bible was open on the coffee table and there were delicate obviously handmade doilies all over the place.

\"It looks like Martha Stewart lives here\" I said dryly.
\"Yeah thats the way my parents are, we can go to my room and talk if you like, let me take your backpack\" She grabbed my back pack and lead me byt he hand to her room.
\"Careful with that backpack!\" I said as she sat it down next to her drafting table. \"Hey you\'re into art. Cool.\"
\"Yeah I like oils and watercolors but my real passion is charcoals. All of these on the walls are mine.\"
I quickly scanned the walls. They were really good. They were dark with a hint of redemtion to them. An obvious theme to all of her work was lonliness.
\"They\'re really good. Wow.\"
\"I\'ve been into art since, well, as long as I can remember. What are you into?\"
\"Nothing much really, I write sometimes\"
\"Thats right we had english together last year..what was the poem that you wrote that was so good that the teacher made you read it in class..The Day that Killed the Moon, right?\"
\"Yeah, that was embarrasing.\"
She sat down in a very casual Clara-like way on her queen sized bed.\"
\"You can sit too, James...next to me\"


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10 am

I had him right where I wanted him. I felt like I was the spider and he was the waiting fly. I leaned over and made the first move, kissing him softly on his lips. I ran my fingers through his long dark hair and placed my hand on his thigh.

\"James, i\'ve been waiting for this for a long time.\"
James tensed up quicly and withdrew from my kisses.
\"Why, are you setting me up or something?\"
I grabbed James\' hand and leaned close to him. \"No. of course not. I like you. I like you, I really do. In fact I memorized your poem that day. You are so deep and smart.\"
James let out a short chuckle. \"No one has ever called me that before.\"
I leaned in for another, longer, more passionate kiss while caressing his ever growing bulge in his pants. I withdrew briefly. \"James, really, believe me, I\'m not a slut or anything, I just always liked you. I guess you could say I\'ve loved you from the first time I saw you.\" James kissed me back passionately and began running his hands through my hair.
\"i\'ve always felt the same, but I was afraid you were like them..you know..\"
\'Like what, some stuck up snobby slut. No just because I\'m on the cheerleading team doesn\'t mean I\'m not just like you.\"
I could sense that he felt a lot of confort in that, and he finally relaxed to the point that I wanted him to. I began kissing him again and I placed his hand on my left breast. He began kneading my breasts and feeling my thighs while kissing me wildly on my neck. I quickly took off my sweater and stripped his shirt off of him. Soon we were naked and rolling around on my bed making out and exploring each others bodies with our hands, mouths and tounges.


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10 15 am


She tasted great, her musty pussy was a delight in my mouth. She was clean shaven besides a cute tuft of hair right above her hood. Even though this was my first time doing anything like this, I didn\'t want to let on thatas aas a virgin to her. The motions all came very naturally to me though, Perhaps because I daydreamed about this with her all last year in english class. Her breasts were full and had a creamy white color. Her skin was soft and and beautiful. I touched every inch of it with extacy.
I couldn\'t take it anymore, my cock was about to explode. I needed to be inside of her.
She leaned back as if reading my mind, opening her legs wide and fingering herself. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head with pleasure. I pinned her arms behind her and entered into her forcefully. She locked her legs firmly around me.
\"Yes, James..fuck me.\" She panted.
I was beyond words, groaning and sweating in a rythmic cycle.
\" I love you Clara\" I said in a growl.
What the fuck did I just say. I was embarassed. Granted not to embarassed to stop. Maybe she didn\'t notice.
\"I love you too James\" she screamed.
Was this what I had been waiting for all my life, thus far? Could this be why I was put here on this earth? She was so beautiful. I couldn\'t stand it, I was about to cum.
\"You\'re so beautiful..so perfect, I\'m about to cum.\"I said barely coherently.
\"Yes cum inside me!\" she demanded. I exploded with a force greater than I had ever felt in my life and collapsed lifelessly on top of her chest, my dick still inside of her. I gently kissed her forehead and passed out.


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11 30 am

We were a sweaty mess on top of each other when James and I finally woke up. He began to get frantic.
\"i\'ve got to get back to school before the pep rally.\"
\"Thats not like you, whats so important about the pep rally today. I\'m supposed to be in it,but I\'ll miss it to be here with you.\"
\"Just trust me, we have to get back.\"
We showered together quickly and dressed again. I held his hand all the way back to the school. Why was he so nervous and upset?


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11 55

We finally made it back. Shit no time to get the pipe bombs out of the trash cans. Fuck! What have I done! I tried not to give away my nervousness to Clwho who was sweetly following me to the auditorium. Shit, stupid dogs sniffing backpacks to get into the auditorium. SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!

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NOON ...HAPPY ENDING

Noon, right on time for the pep really, and I was in my uniform and everything. I guess James was just looking out for me and wanted me to be here on time. Oh crap, James forgot his backpack at my house. Oh well another excuse to get him over after school.
I gave James a quick kiss and off to the stage to do the stupid cheerleader thing again. At least James knows now that theres more to me than just cheerleading, like art and love and romance. I really think I\'m falling in love with him.


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They were duds..the bombs didn\'t go off. I guess I didn\'t fuse them right..but my backpack..its...gone? I must have left it at Clara\'s. Whew. After a quick kiss from my new girlfriend, I took a seat and was ready to watch her and her cheerleader friends exibit thier school spirit, and I didn\'t mind it at all.

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NOON ...NOT SO HAPPY ENDING

Noon, right on....

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!

An explosion rocked me to the ground. I fell face first but I was okay.
\"James ..I\'m okay\"
By time I could look back up for James, two guards with dogs were forcefully trying to search James\' backpack.
\"I can explain everything..let me show you ..its okay....\" James began to reason with them. \"I have a gun in here but ..I wasn\'t going to do anything with it. Not anymore.\"
James unzipped and reached inside his backpack and pulled out a 9 mm and pointed it at the ground.
\"James!!! NO!!! Put it down!!!\" I tried to scream but a panic was starting to form around the scene. Students and teachers were starting to duck under chairs and scream. Many of them started to run. The Guards stepped back and looked desparate.
\"PUT DOWN THE GUN!\"
\"JAMES LISTEN TO THEM!
I tried to plead with him while still lying on the ground but he couldn\'t hear me\"
\"SIR WE WARNED YOU\"
One of the guards drew his gun and opened fire on James. Two shots to the chest and one to the neck.
\"JAMES!\"
I got up quickly to run to him. but was pushed back by the guards.
\"Let me in I\'m his girlfriend\"
They reluctantly stepped aside and I saw him, gasping for air and trying to cover his gaping wounds with his hands. I got down on my knees over him and started to sob uncontrollably. \"James why?? WHY?\"

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\"I\'m sorry Clara, I love ..you\" I couldn\'t speak anymore, my throat was spewing blood. My chest was burning from the bullets as I lay there dying in a pool of mn bln blood.