Bleed For Me
folder
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
885
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
885
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Bleed For Me
Author\'s Note: Came up with this in math class... go figure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All I Ever Wanted
By xaphanea
Theme: Bleed For Me, Saliva
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuck she was beautiful. Mylene Cherale, the very embodiment of perfection. And she wasn\'t one of those blonde cheerleading sluts, either. That\'s what made her so different. She had dark brown hair, beautiful green eyes, and a figure to die for. She never wore anything overly revealing, because was was more of an introvert. She normally stuck to relaxed fit jeans and flowing shirts. She never did anything extra fancy with her hair, she just always left it down, loose to flow around her shoulders and down her back. But it was that laid back and carefree attitude that really drew me. She never once wore makeup, but it\'s not like she needed it anyway. She had cute, pouty lips that I had only seen smile once. And she always smelled faintly of violets, that teasing scent that tortured me every day. She was so fucking pretty.
I knew I never had a chance with her. Not that I was the bottom of the social chain, because I was fairly mid-level. I just knew that a girl of such perfection would never even bother herself with a half baked retard such as myself. And I never would have been able to talk to her anyway, I\'d be too busy looking over her serene beauty as she remotely paid attention to me. So I just sat back, in my homeroom class, studying the back of her perfect head as the teacher droned on and on and on. And when she stood up as the bell rang, and everyone bolted out the door, I watched her quaintly gather her things and slink from the room. Then I\'d smile, shake my head, and walk outside for a joint.
All I ever wanted
Was to be at your service
But now I\'m alone
Cause you were here and you\'re gone
And all I ever wanted
Was to feel I had a purpose
But now it\'s all gone
I never saw Mylene with many people at once. She seemed like the sort of person that would be above all the stereotypes, and it was as if she was. She had a few close friends, and never really traversed between the many groups of people. While I stood off outside the window smoking up with my junkie buddies, she sat sweetly at a table in the corner of the cafeteria chatting softly with some other girl. I always wished I could hear her conversations, just to know what she talked about. I wanted to know her inside ouer ler likes and dislikes, her hobbies, her classes, what she did on the weekends. A voice in the back of my head accused me of stalker mentality, but I shrugged it off because I never really stalked her. I just loved her.
She was so calm, so collected, so ready for the world. She looked like she always had far off dreams floating through that amazirainrain of hers, that brain that just kept pumping out answers to questions that I hadn\'t even heard. She was the ultimate independent person, she could fend for herself and didn\'t need anybody. But how I wanted to be there for her. How I wanted her to confide in me anything that she wanted. How I wanted to give her a hug whenever I saw her, run my fingers through her hair, kiss her forehead, lie in the grass at night and pick out our favourite stars. Shit like that guys don\'t talk about because they get ridiculed. But I didn\'t care. I loved her.
But if you could give me
Just one love
June lne life
Just one chance to believe in life
Just one love
Just one life
There are people you can look at and your entire life flashes before your eyes. You wonder what you\'ve been doing your entire life, and why you\'ve been missing out on such a wonderful thing as this person. Mylene sent this through me in electric chills that licked at my very soul every time I saw her. It revitalized me, kept me going, even as I sucked in the sweet smoke from each death joint my group offered me.
Every day Mylene was away, I simply didn\'t go to class. I headed out toke eke early, and skipped homeroom. If I had really wanted to get to know her, I could have picked up her homework and bring it to her house for her. But then there was the fact that I didn\'t know where she lived, and if I found out, I\'d probably scare her. So when she was sick, I was useless. It was pathetic, really, but I couldn\'t avoid it. She was the fuelmy fmy flame, that flame being my life. I couldn\'t function without her there to give me a metaphorical push in the right direction.
You bleed for me
And I didn\'t get to notice you
Now I\'m stuck out of line
Yea, You bleed for me
I didn\'t get to be with you
Now you\'re stuck in my mind
I will never forget the day that I blurted out my passion for Mylene to some guys at a party one night. A shitload of junkies from school had gathered with this new dealer to try out his stoce wae wanted business, so we went in to test his stuff. It was amazing, almost to the point where I could think it was laced, but not quite. If it was, we all would have beaten the shit out of him until daybreak. Nobody tries to hook us up with cocaine addiction.
Anyway, we got completely and utterly fucked out of our minds, and sprawled ourselves across his living room. This guy RJ started babbling on about how good his girlfriend was in bed, and the rest of them all started putting in their two cents about chicks they\'d fucked. I myself had had my share of girls before I met Mylene, and the guys\' banter sounded similar to my own back then. But after her, I lost all will for other girls, and didn\'t even bother anymore. Their talk sounded so immature to my stoned ears, so I decided to put in my two cents. I didn\'t talk about how many girls I\'d fucked, but started talking about Mylene. I caused a complete uproar. They made fun of me until the high wore off. It angered me, but I was too useless to move and kick their asses. They said that she was nothing but a prude depressant, which I didn\'t understand at the time. They called her all kinds of obscenities, and I knew they were just saying it because she\'d never in hell have sex with any of them. I don\'t think any self respecting human could honestly call her ugly, so even if they did say it, I was convinced they didn\'t mean it.
In my irritation, I was the first one remotelber.ber. So I snagged RJ\'s keys, and stole his shitbox of a car to drive myself home with. I had every intention of returning it to him the next day, and it wasn\'t my fault that I got smashed into at an intersection. Not like I was paying attention to the colour the lights were anyway, I was too preoccupied. I ran, and the police later traced the license plate back to RJ, who took the heat for it. He knew that it would be a lot more hassle to try and explain that a group of us were fucked up and I stole his car whilewas was stoned off his ass than to just take the blame. His brother bailed him out, and even so, RJ had been in jail enough times that it was like a second home to him. He didn\'t mind too much, and I never stole any of his shit again.
All I ever wanted was to be what you needed
\'Cause something so strong
It could never be wrong
And all I can promise
Is to say what I\'m feeling
We\'ve made it so long
But if you could give me
I was still a little pissed about them all talking shit about Mylene, however. I also wanted to know why they called her a prude depressant. I had no idea what that could mean, obviously the prude part meant she didn\'t put out, but the depressant part didn\'t make any sense to me. She seemed like such a content person, with everything she could ever want. And she acted so carefree and lighthearted that she couldn\'t be depressed about anything. Ever.
A few weeks later, RJ came and told me that my \'unicorn\' had bought some drugs off of him. He called her that to tease me, but that didn\'t even faze me after he told me that Mylene was stocking up on hordes of heroin. She apparently told RJ that her original dealer moved away and she needed to find a new source. So he sold her a shitload of the stuff, and sent her packing. I was devastated. I left him there, laughing at me for seeing her so pure, and headed outside, pondering the situation. This girl whom I had worshipped for so long, thinking was was so innocent so pso perfect, was a heroin junkie. Even I didn\'t do drugs that heavy. Even RJ didn\'t do drugs that heavy, he just dealt them. I couldn\'t help thinking about what possibly could have been wrong with her. I sat on the grass and thought about her for hours, weighing the possibilities of why she would be buying so much of such a deadly substance. My beautiful infatuation, my first love, I had let it slip by me that there was something wrong with her. Something that drove her to drugs. I wanted to save her. I had to.
Just one love
Just one life
Just one chance to believe in life
Just one love
Just one life
I started noticing things about Mylene after that. The fact that she always wore long sleeves. The fact that she didn\'t walk slower than everybody else, she lumbered. The fact that even though her face was beautiful, she had light bags under her deep eyes. The fact that she never smiled. I felt useless and ashamed, that I couldn\'t protect her from the devils of our society. That I didn\'t see before what she was doing to herself. I wanted to find the bastard that gave her the first needle and wring his fucking neck.
It was the week she was gone for three days straight that I started to worry.
I went on a rampage, trying everything I could to control myself. But I just couldn\'t take it any longer. I frantically searched the phone book, finding her address. I had to make sure she was okay, that she was alive. I went to her house that night, the darkness as my cover, and sat down on her front lawn, too queasy to knock on her front door. I couldn\'t simply just ask for her, because I didn\'t know what to say to her. And I couldn\'t just rightly ask her parents if she was still alive. I couldn\'t tell them that I was worried their daughter had overdosed on heroin because my junkie buddy dealt it to her. In the back of my head, that little voice was telling me that I was overreacting. That she had probably just come down with the flu and would be back in school Monday. But it wasn\'t that simple. I was used to dismissing that voice, and I did it once again. My mind was exploding with anxiety as I lit up a joint, the moonlight streaming down on me. I sat there all night, until the sun was just rising over the houses in the neighborhood. Mylene\'s father came out to get the morning paper and his brow furrowed.
\"Hey! What are you doing?!\" He yelled, and I jumped up, startled. I had been perfectly calm seeing him exit the house, but he yanked me out of my stasis when he yelled.
I ran faster than I ever had. I ran all the way across town to my run down house, that piece of shit shack that my mother wasted away in. I locked myself in my room, and chain smoked four joints as I worried about Mylene.
You bleed for me
And I didn\'t get to notice you
Now I\'m stuck out of line
Yeah, you bleed for me
I didn\'t get to be with you
Now you\'re stuck in my mind
For days I was sweating profusely and worrying about Myl I w I was at the verge of insanity, hanging at the edge of oblivion. It was sick and pathetic, if anyone were to analyze my thoughts. But I couldn't help it. I was in love with her.
On a gloomy Tuesday, Mylene hobbled into homeroom. It took all of my willpower not to leap to my feet and pull her into my arms. It took all of my strength not to hold her and never let her go. But I stayed in my seat, watching her slowly make her way to her own. She looked like shit. I mean, she was still beautiful in every possible way, but she looked beat. There were deep bags beneath her wide emerald eyes, her hair was limp and disheveled, and she walked as though it needed great effort. My heart reached out to her as she eased herself into her chair. I suddenly felt a burst of courage, and moved to the desk right behind her nonchalantly. I gingerly reached out, tapping her shoulder, and it took her a few agonizing moments to turn herself all the way around.
"Hey." My voice was soft, and I was surprised that it even worked at all. "Where have you been? I noticed you were away for a long time." As idiotic as I felt, I ignored it. I was talking to Mylene, and it caused adrenaline to thrust my heart around in my ribcage.
Then her whole face lit up in a bright smile. My jaw almost dropped open, but I contained my surprise as she blinked lazily. Her eyes were bloodshot, and I wondered if it was tiredness, withdrawal, or if she was just stoned.
"Really?" She spoke slowly, sweet voice echoing in my head. "That's so nice." She sounded almost sad, as if she hadn't expected anyone to miss her. She paused, and we stared at each other for a moment. I felt like crying. "I just didn't feel well." It seemed as if each word were intensely thought out and perfectly spaced. I could tell she was lying, but didn't say anything about it. The moment was to pristine.
"Do you want to borrow my notes?" In the days that she gonegone I had been taking down all the notes to try and keep my mind from worrying about her.
"No, thanks." Her smile faded to a small grin, and she blinked again, slower this time. "I won't need them." It was a queer thing to say, and I furrowed my brow. I almost vomited in shock when she reached out, resting her frail hand gently on my forearm. "Thanks though, you're really sweet." And with that, my urn trn turned around, and the teacher stalked into the room.
"You your seats!" arkearked, and I regretfully edged off of the chair, traveling to the back of the room. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, and I smiled faintly when she rested her head on her desk. Maybe she was just tired, recuperating from her sickness.
SMACK!
The teacher suddenly slammed his ruler down on Mylene's desk, causing everyone to start. I wanted to punch his fucking face in for it, too. Concern kicked in when Mylene didn't even flinch, and I clenched my jaw. "Wake up, Miss Cherale!" The teacher hollered, but still she didn't move. I found myself standing, and before I could control myself, I was trying to pull her to a standing. Her head flopped back over my elbow, and she was completely limp. The teacher lifted the thin girl's arm, shoving the sleeve up to check her pulse. The entire inside of her arm was bruised and punctured. She had needle treadmarks all down her fair and beautiful skin. I nearly dropped her, and tears came to my eyes as my heart began to break. The teacher applied his fingers to her wrist, grimly pausing as I syed yed her bluing features.
Snap.
Creak.
"She's dead."
Shatter.
Just one love in my life
END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All I Ever Wanted
By xaphanea
Theme: Bleed For Me, Saliva
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuck she was beautiful. Mylene Cherale, the very embodiment of perfection. And she wasn\'t one of those blonde cheerleading sluts, either. That\'s what made her so different. She had dark brown hair, beautiful green eyes, and a figure to die for. She never wore anything overly revealing, because was was more of an introvert. She normally stuck to relaxed fit jeans and flowing shirts. She never did anything extra fancy with her hair, she just always left it down, loose to flow around her shoulders and down her back. But it was that laid back and carefree attitude that really drew me. She never once wore makeup, but it\'s not like she needed it anyway. She had cute, pouty lips that I had only seen smile once. And she always smelled faintly of violets, that teasing scent that tortured me every day. She was so fucking pretty.
I knew I never had a chance with her. Not that I was the bottom of the social chain, because I was fairly mid-level. I just knew that a girl of such perfection would never even bother herself with a half baked retard such as myself. And I never would have been able to talk to her anyway, I\'d be too busy looking over her serene beauty as she remotely paid attention to me. So I just sat back, in my homeroom class, studying the back of her perfect head as the teacher droned on and on and on. And when she stood up as the bell rang, and everyone bolted out the door, I watched her quaintly gather her things and slink from the room. Then I\'d smile, shake my head, and walk outside for a joint.
All I ever wanted
Was to be at your service
But now I\'m alone
Cause you were here and you\'re gone
And all I ever wanted
Was to feel I had a purpose
But now it\'s all gone
I never saw Mylene with many people at once. She seemed like the sort of person that would be above all the stereotypes, and it was as if she was. She had a few close friends, and never really traversed between the many groups of people. While I stood off outside the window smoking up with my junkie buddies, she sat sweetly at a table in the corner of the cafeteria chatting softly with some other girl. I always wished I could hear her conversations, just to know what she talked about. I wanted to know her inside ouer ler likes and dislikes, her hobbies, her classes, what she did on the weekends. A voice in the back of my head accused me of stalker mentality, but I shrugged it off because I never really stalked her. I just loved her.
She was so calm, so collected, so ready for the world. She looked like she always had far off dreams floating through that amazirainrain of hers, that brain that just kept pumping out answers to questions that I hadn\'t even heard. She was the ultimate independent person, she could fend for herself and didn\'t need anybody. But how I wanted to be there for her. How I wanted her to confide in me anything that she wanted. How I wanted to give her a hug whenever I saw her, run my fingers through her hair, kiss her forehead, lie in the grass at night and pick out our favourite stars. Shit like that guys don\'t talk about because they get ridiculed. But I didn\'t care. I loved her.
But if you could give me
Just one love
June lne life
Just one chance to believe in life
Just one love
Just one life
There are people you can look at and your entire life flashes before your eyes. You wonder what you\'ve been doing your entire life, and why you\'ve been missing out on such a wonderful thing as this person. Mylene sent this through me in electric chills that licked at my very soul every time I saw her. It revitalized me, kept me going, even as I sucked in the sweet smoke from each death joint my group offered me.
Every day Mylene was away, I simply didn\'t go to class. I headed out toke eke early, and skipped homeroom. If I had really wanted to get to know her, I could have picked up her homework and bring it to her house for her. But then there was the fact that I didn\'t know where she lived, and if I found out, I\'d probably scare her. So when she was sick, I was useless. It was pathetic, really, but I couldn\'t avoid it. She was the fuelmy fmy flame, that flame being my life. I couldn\'t function without her there to give me a metaphorical push in the right direction.
You bleed for me
And I didn\'t get to notice you
Now I\'m stuck out of line
Yea, You bleed for me
I didn\'t get to be with you
Now you\'re stuck in my mind
I will never forget the day that I blurted out my passion for Mylene to some guys at a party one night. A shitload of junkies from school had gathered with this new dealer to try out his stoce wae wanted business, so we went in to test his stuff. It was amazing, almost to the point where I could think it was laced, but not quite. If it was, we all would have beaten the shit out of him until daybreak. Nobody tries to hook us up with cocaine addiction.
Anyway, we got completely and utterly fucked out of our minds, and sprawled ourselves across his living room. This guy RJ started babbling on about how good his girlfriend was in bed, and the rest of them all started putting in their two cents about chicks they\'d fucked. I myself had had my share of girls before I met Mylene, and the guys\' banter sounded similar to my own back then. But after her, I lost all will for other girls, and didn\'t even bother anymore. Their talk sounded so immature to my stoned ears, so I decided to put in my two cents. I didn\'t talk about how many girls I\'d fucked, but started talking about Mylene. I caused a complete uproar. They made fun of me until the high wore off. It angered me, but I was too useless to move and kick their asses. They said that she was nothing but a prude depressant, which I didn\'t understand at the time. They called her all kinds of obscenities, and I knew they were just saying it because she\'d never in hell have sex with any of them. I don\'t think any self respecting human could honestly call her ugly, so even if they did say it, I was convinced they didn\'t mean it.
In my irritation, I was the first one remotelber.ber. So I snagged RJ\'s keys, and stole his shitbox of a car to drive myself home with. I had every intention of returning it to him the next day, and it wasn\'t my fault that I got smashed into at an intersection. Not like I was paying attention to the colour the lights were anyway, I was too preoccupied. I ran, and the police later traced the license plate back to RJ, who took the heat for it. He knew that it would be a lot more hassle to try and explain that a group of us were fucked up and I stole his car whilewas was stoned off his ass than to just take the blame. His brother bailed him out, and even so, RJ had been in jail enough times that it was like a second home to him. He didn\'t mind too much, and I never stole any of his shit again.
All I ever wanted was to be what you needed
\'Cause something so strong
It could never be wrong
And all I can promise
Is to say what I\'m feeling
We\'ve made it so long
But if you could give me
I was still a little pissed about them all talking shit about Mylene, however. I also wanted to know why they called her a prude depressant. I had no idea what that could mean, obviously the prude part meant she didn\'t put out, but the depressant part didn\'t make any sense to me. She seemed like such a content person, with everything she could ever want. And she acted so carefree and lighthearted that she couldn\'t be depressed about anything. Ever.
A few weeks later, RJ came and told me that my \'unicorn\' had bought some drugs off of him. He called her that to tease me, but that didn\'t even faze me after he told me that Mylene was stocking up on hordes of heroin. She apparently told RJ that her original dealer moved away and she needed to find a new source. So he sold her a shitload of the stuff, and sent her packing. I was devastated. I left him there, laughing at me for seeing her so pure, and headed outside, pondering the situation. This girl whom I had worshipped for so long, thinking was was so innocent so pso perfect, was a heroin junkie. Even I didn\'t do drugs that heavy. Even RJ didn\'t do drugs that heavy, he just dealt them. I couldn\'t help thinking about what possibly could have been wrong with her. I sat on the grass and thought about her for hours, weighing the possibilities of why she would be buying so much of such a deadly substance. My beautiful infatuation, my first love, I had let it slip by me that there was something wrong with her. Something that drove her to drugs. I wanted to save her. I had to.
Just one love
Just one life
Just one chance to believe in life
Just one love
Just one life
I started noticing things about Mylene after that. The fact that she always wore long sleeves. The fact that she didn\'t walk slower than everybody else, she lumbered. The fact that even though her face was beautiful, she had light bags under her deep eyes. The fact that she never smiled. I felt useless and ashamed, that I couldn\'t protect her from the devils of our society. That I didn\'t see before what she was doing to herself. I wanted to find the bastard that gave her the first needle and wring his fucking neck.
It was the week she was gone for three days straight that I started to worry.
I went on a rampage, trying everything I could to control myself. But I just couldn\'t take it any longer. I frantically searched the phone book, finding her address. I had to make sure she was okay, that she was alive. I went to her house that night, the darkness as my cover, and sat down on her front lawn, too queasy to knock on her front door. I couldn\'t simply just ask for her, because I didn\'t know what to say to her. And I couldn\'t just rightly ask her parents if she was still alive. I couldn\'t tell them that I was worried their daughter had overdosed on heroin because my junkie buddy dealt it to her. In the back of my head, that little voice was telling me that I was overreacting. That she had probably just come down with the flu and would be back in school Monday. But it wasn\'t that simple. I was used to dismissing that voice, and I did it once again. My mind was exploding with anxiety as I lit up a joint, the moonlight streaming down on me. I sat there all night, until the sun was just rising over the houses in the neighborhood. Mylene\'s father came out to get the morning paper and his brow furrowed.
\"Hey! What are you doing?!\" He yelled, and I jumped up, startled. I had been perfectly calm seeing him exit the house, but he yanked me out of my stasis when he yelled.
I ran faster than I ever had. I ran all the way across town to my run down house, that piece of shit shack that my mother wasted away in. I locked myself in my room, and chain smoked four joints as I worried about Mylene.
You bleed for me
And I didn\'t get to notice you
Now I\'m stuck out of line
Yeah, you bleed for me
I didn\'t get to be with you
Now you\'re stuck in my mind
For days I was sweating profusely and worrying about Myl I w I was at the verge of insanity, hanging at the edge of oblivion. It was sick and pathetic, if anyone were to analyze my thoughts. But I couldn't help it. I was in love with her.
On a gloomy Tuesday, Mylene hobbled into homeroom. It took all of my willpower not to leap to my feet and pull her into my arms. It took all of my strength not to hold her and never let her go. But I stayed in my seat, watching her slowly make her way to her own. She looked like shit. I mean, she was still beautiful in every possible way, but she looked beat. There were deep bags beneath her wide emerald eyes, her hair was limp and disheveled, and she walked as though it needed great effort. My heart reached out to her as she eased herself into her chair. I suddenly felt a burst of courage, and moved to the desk right behind her nonchalantly. I gingerly reached out, tapping her shoulder, and it took her a few agonizing moments to turn herself all the way around.
"Hey." My voice was soft, and I was surprised that it even worked at all. "Where have you been? I noticed you were away for a long time." As idiotic as I felt, I ignored it. I was talking to Mylene, and it caused adrenaline to thrust my heart around in my ribcage.
Then her whole face lit up in a bright smile. My jaw almost dropped open, but I contained my surprise as she blinked lazily. Her eyes were bloodshot, and I wondered if it was tiredness, withdrawal, or if she was just stoned.
"Really?" She spoke slowly, sweet voice echoing in my head. "That's so nice." She sounded almost sad, as if she hadn't expected anyone to miss her. She paused, and we stared at each other for a moment. I felt like crying. "I just didn't feel well." It seemed as if each word were intensely thought out and perfectly spaced. I could tell she was lying, but didn't say anything about it. The moment was to pristine.
"Do you want to borrow my notes?" In the days that she gonegone I had been taking down all the notes to try and keep my mind from worrying about her.
"No, thanks." Her smile faded to a small grin, and she blinked again, slower this time. "I won't need them." It was a queer thing to say, and I furrowed my brow. I almost vomited in shock when she reached out, resting her frail hand gently on my forearm. "Thanks though, you're really sweet." And with that, my urn trn turned around, and the teacher stalked into the room.
"You your seats!" arkearked, and I regretfully edged off of the chair, traveling to the back of the room. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, and I smiled faintly when she rested her head on her desk. Maybe she was just tired, recuperating from her sickness.
SMACK!
The teacher suddenly slammed his ruler down on Mylene's desk, causing everyone to start. I wanted to punch his fucking face in for it, too. Concern kicked in when Mylene didn't even flinch, and I clenched my jaw. "Wake up, Miss Cherale!" The teacher hollered, but still she didn't move. I found myself standing, and before I could control myself, I was trying to pull her to a standing. Her head flopped back over my elbow, and she was completely limp. The teacher lifted the thin girl's arm, shoving the sleeve up to check her pulse. The entire inside of her arm was bruised and punctured. She had needle treadmarks all down her fair and beautiful skin. I nearly dropped her, and tears came to my eyes as my heart began to break. The teacher applied his fingers to her wrist, grimly pausing as I syed yed her bluing features.
Snap.
Creak.
"She's dead."
Shatter.
Just one love in my life
END