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Just Because You Feel It, Doesn't Mean It's There
folder
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,018
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,018
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Just Because You Fell It, Doesn't Mean It's There
Well, I have no idea what brought this on, one of those things that just wrote itself... reviews are appreciated muchly.
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His lips curled into a sarcastic grin.
"˜What, you're not going to try and talk me out of it? Tell me I'm being foolish, I should think it over for abit longer? That you'll miss me?'
She blinked slowly, trying to squeeze away the tears that threatened to blind her.
"˜Why? It's not like I could stop you unless you wanted me to. You already know all those things for yourself, it's really up to you isn't it? Just like everything else. I've never been strong enough to stand up to you, that's the way you like it.'
"˜And you like it that way too don't you bitch. You like being bossed around, you like only ever having to do what you told.' The sneer spoiled his dark good looks.
"˜No, I've never liked it. YOU liked it and so I did it to please you. That's the reason I did anything, to please YOU. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. And I guess I can't make that happen anymore. I know you don't love me, I know I was no more then a servant and a whore in your eyes, but I thought that might be enough. As long as I made you happy, kept you satisfied, then maybe I could stay. As long as I was still with you then everything would be alright. I knew you were selfish, but I never knew it ran this deep.'
"˜Selfish? HA! You truly are addled in the head woman. This is the ultimate sacrifice. I'm doing this for my country, for millions of pathetic little people just like you.'
"˜That may be what it says in the brochure but I'm not buying.' Her eyes flashed as the anger she had held in check for so many years finally bubbled over, burning away the fear that had always gnawed in her chest.
"˜You're doing this for yourself, like everything else you do. You want the glory, the praise, the shiny bits of metal on cheap ribbon. You want the free goddamn funeral with the 21-gun salute and 76 fucking trombones. You want to become the great man your father said you'd never be, or at least pretend you are, so you can intimidate more people like me, so you can see something resembling respect in peoples eyes. But you never will, because no matter what you do, everything you touch will be twisted by the cold black stone you call a heart. No measure of ticker-tape parades and ceremonial awards can make up for not having a soul. But as I said, it's your choice.' She spat the words at him, her face contorted with disgust, at herself as well as him, that she had allowed him to treat her so badly for so long.
"˜So what are you waiting for? Off you go. Or was that the whole point of this little charade? You wanted me to cry and beg you to stay, wanted to know that I'd be here miserable if you went. There wouldn't be any point in going if I wanted you to, there's no fun in that after all. You don't just want the glory, you want it to hurt me. Well, you can't do that any more.'
He slapped her.
"˜I beg to differ. I leave in the morning, make sure everything is clean for when I get back.'
"˜No.' she pressed her cold fingers against the hot red ones imprinted on her cheek.
"˜Goodbye.'
@}~>~~ @}~>~~ @}~>~~
I hope you thought it as pretty as I did. Onward and upward
~Faerie
@}~>~~ @}~>~~ @}~>~~
His lips curled into a sarcastic grin.
"˜What, you're not going to try and talk me out of it? Tell me I'm being foolish, I should think it over for abit longer? That you'll miss me?'
She blinked slowly, trying to squeeze away the tears that threatened to blind her.
"˜Why? It's not like I could stop you unless you wanted me to. You already know all those things for yourself, it's really up to you isn't it? Just like everything else. I've never been strong enough to stand up to you, that's the way you like it.'
"˜And you like it that way too don't you bitch. You like being bossed around, you like only ever having to do what you told.' The sneer spoiled his dark good looks.
"˜No, I've never liked it. YOU liked it and so I did it to please you. That's the reason I did anything, to please YOU. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. And I guess I can't make that happen anymore. I know you don't love me, I know I was no more then a servant and a whore in your eyes, but I thought that might be enough. As long as I made you happy, kept you satisfied, then maybe I could stay. As long as I was still with you then everything would be alright. I knew you were selfish, but I never knew it ran this deep.'
"˜Selfish? HA! You truly are addled in the head woman. This is the ultimate sacrifice. I'm doing this for my country, for millions of pathetic little people just like you.'
"˜That may be what it says in the brochure but I'm not buying.' Her eyes flashed as the anger she had held in check for so many years finally bubbled over, burning away the fear that had always gnawed in her chest.
"˜You're doing this for yourself, like everything else you do. You want the glory, the praise, the shiny bits of metal on cheap ribbon. You want the free goddamn funeral with the 21-gun salute and 76 fucking trombones. You want to become the great man your father said you'd never be, or at least pretend you are, so you can intimidate more people like me, so you can see something resembling respect in peoples eyes. But you never will, because no matter what you do, everything you touch will be twisted by the cold black stone you call a heart. No measure of ticker-tape parades and ceremonial awards can make up for not having a soul. But as I said, it's your choice.' She spat the words at him, her face contorted with disgust, at herself as well as him, that she had allowed him to treat her so badly for so long.
"˜So what are you waiting for? Off you go. Or was that the whole point of this little charade? You wanted me to cry and beg you to stay, wanted to know that I'd be here miserable if you went. There wouldn't be any point in going if I wanted you to, there's no fun in that after all. You don't just want the glory, you want it to hurt me. Well, you can't do that any more.'
He slapped her.
"˜I beg to differ. I leave in the morning, make sure everything is clean for when I get back.'
"˜No.' she pressed her cold fingers against the hot red ones imprinted on her cheek.
"˜Goodbye.'
@}~>~~ @}~>~~ @}~>~~
I hope you thought it as pretty as I did. Onward and upward
~Faerie