Love For Sale

~Cole’s POV~

I sat slumped in my office chair, with half of my student’s mid-terms still not graded. I hoped that I would be done by now, but what happened last night caused me to fall back. I was shocked about Kyle’s actions, which left me dismayed in the end. I could still feel his mouth on me after he left last night, and I ended up doing some things I haven’t done in a long time---like masturbate. I had taken a shower to clean myself up, but I couldn’t get rid of the feeling. Throughout my shower, I had pictured what Kyle did to me while I slept, and I found I had formed an erection. I groaned and stared at it for the longest time, and debated. This was the first time this had happened while Kyle was here, and now I was starting to worry. I worried because Kyle had made me feel good, too good, and I was afraid that things were going to get too out of control. In the end, I eased myself from the torment of a hard on, and I exited the shower. By the time I was done with cleaning myself up, it was five in the morning, and I decided to get dressed for school. I didn’t want to talk about what happened last night to Kyle yet, so I left him a note. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but I could not face him right now. Now I am stuck with the biggest dilemma since I debated about marrying Linda.

Sadly, I should have talked to Kyle when I got the chance. All day, the phone that sat on the corner of my desk tempted me, but I distracted myself with classes. But even my classes gave me a problem. I would prepare a piece of music to demonstrate to my music 101 class, but I could not play for shit. Usually playing the piano soothed my soul, but Kyle had got me so worked up I couldn’t concentrate. I kept on imagining Kyle in the darkness, kneeling beside me and sucking me off. I just couldn’t get him out of my mind. He had become like a drug to me, and I hated it. This made talking to Kyle just as hard, but I needed to. Leaning forward, I rested my head in my hands and I let out a frustrated groan. The more I tried to think about Kyle and everything else, everything else being what has happened these past few weeks, it made me hard. And every time I try to not think about it, I would just think about it more. Frustrated, and out of my mind, I crashed my head on my desk. I thought about not going home, but I thought that was childish of me, and I needed to face Kyle. He must have been worried just as much. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more complicated, my phone rang. I shouldn’t have picked it up, but it was a habit.

“Hello?” my voice was dry, so I cleared it and tried again. “Hello?”

“Cole, hi.” It was Daniel. I did not want to talk to him, but he and I were doing some legal business.

“Daniel, hello. What can I do for you?”

“Um…I have the papers you wanted to sign.”

“Really, that fast?” I was shocked how he could get adoption papers so fast, but then again he was one of the best lawyers in the city. “That…that’s great.” I choked on my words. I completely forgot that I asked Daniel to help me. I had grown so fond of Kyle, I wanted to adopt him. However, I had asked Daniel to get those papers long before Kyle and me “misbehaved”. “Could you stop by the house after work? I would like all three of us to talk before I sign the papers.”

“Fine with me. Are you okay? You sound sick.”

“Me? I’m fine. I and Kyle were up late last night, talking.”

“Okay. Can I ask you something though?” Daniel asked, his voice changed over the phone. “Are you sure you want to go through this, I mean…adopting Kyle?”

“Daniel.” I sighed. But thinking about last night and the adoption papers, I should have a hard talk with Kyle. I needed to talk to him about last night, and how he truly feels about me. I needed to decide as well what my feelings were for Kyle too, and what my future actions with him should be. “You know I want to go through with this, Kyle deserves more. He is a kid for God’s sake. He shouldn’t be in the position he is in.”

“Yeah. But he’s a prostitute. He should be in a home for juveniles.”

“I know how you feel about this, but it is my decision. However, more time would be nice to think about the adoption.”

“Thank you.” I heard a sigh over the phone, and I rolled my eyes. “I will see you tonight then.”

“Yeah,” I sighed as well and hung up the phone. Staring at the papers in front of me, I let out another sigh and scratched the back of my head. I looked at the small wall clock I had and saw it was almost five. I needed to get home before the traffic got heavy, and I packed up. Just before I headed out the door, I called the house to see how Kyle was doing, and to ask him to get dinner started.

“Cole, could we talk about last night?” he asked before I hung-up.

I stopped short. I was going to tell him over the phone, but this conversation was not meant to be discussed over the phone. “We can talk about it when I get home.” I replied, and quickly pushed the “End” button on my cell.

Getting in the car, I saw that the traffic wasn’t too bad getting on the bridge that led out of the city. But things got heavier just after I crossed the water. All traffic stopped fifteen minutes into the drive, and I was forced to turn my engine off. The radio was still playing, and I tuned it to the news. I hoped this wouldn’t have happened today, but it did, and I felt depressed. I had taken my meds today, but it seemed they were not working, so I popped a few more. I listened to five news stories before they got to the traffic report, and they reported car accident accorded on Highway Ninety. Apparently, a driver had lost control of his car in the far right lane had swerved into all the lanes to the left, breaking through the concrete divider. Both sides of the highway were shut down, turning the highway into a parking lot. I rested my head on the wheel and sighed. I felt so depressed and bad. I had told Kyle that I was going to talk to him about last night over dinner, but I knew he would be angry about standing him up, and would be asleep when I arrived. I turned down the radio when I heard my cell ring, and I saw it was Daniel.

“Hello.”

“Cole, where are you?” Daniel asked, not saying hi back.

“Sorry, Daniel, I hit a snag with traffic. I am afraid I can’t make it for dinner, you need to start without me.”

“I’m sorry you can’t make it, I will tell Kyle for you.”

“Thanks Daniel, I own you one.”

“You’re welcome Cole. Say, did you know that it’s Kyle’s birthday?” he asked.

I could see my face in the review mirror, and I saw it was ghostly white. I had no idea that today was Kyle’s birthday. I knew that he told me it was next month---which was this month-but today. I rested my elbow on the door handle, and sighed. This day was not going well for me. “No I did not.” I replied. I could feel the knot in the pit of my stomach start to grow, and I wished that this traffic jam would be gone.

“Okay.” I heard Daniel said. I was in a daze now, and I didn’t want to do anything except to get home. “I will leave soon, since you won’t be back until later. I will talk to you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” I blankly said, and hung up the phone.

It was another hour and a half before the accident was cleaned up, and traffic started moving again. I went ten miles over the speed limit once I started to really move, and I stopped at Safeway. I wanted to give Kyle a little something for a last minute gift, and I managed to get a small cake and a fifty dollar pre-paid gift card. I knew I should have given him something better, but I did not have enough time. By the time I turned into my driveway, it was ten. The knot in my stomach had doubled in size, and I wondered if Kyle was still up. I was surprised when I saw a taxi pull out of my drive, and I did a double-take. The knot tripled in size now, and I worried that was Kyle inside the cab. Turning off the engine, I saw that a light was still on inside, and the door was locked. When I opened it, I saw the first floor empty, and my heart fell. It was Kyle that was in the taxi cab, and I knew it was my fault. I dragged my feet into the dining room, and I saw that it was all decorated for Kyle’s birthday party. That made me even feel worse, and I saw a note lying on the table. I placed my case on an empty chair and picked it up.

“Dear, Cole.” it began, I could tell that it was not Kyle’s or Daniel’s writing, so I only guessed it was from Kyle’s friend, Chad. “I want you to know how angry I am with you, I had never seen Kyle so depressed in my life. I allowed you to take him away from me, and you broke his heart. I only wish I hadn’t let you, or let Kyle get his hopes up. I am happy that you want to adopt him, but please let him go. He does not need a father; he needs somebody to love him. I have left Kyle sleeping on the couch, please let him sleep, he has been though enough today. But when he wakes, I hope you do the right thing and let him go. Sincerely, Chad.”

I placed the note back on the dining room table, and placed the cake I got Kyle in the fridge. I made some coffee after that, and drank it black. I sat at the dining room table with a pad and paper and a pen. I flipped the pad open to a clean piece, and I sighed. On it, I drew a line down the middle and wrote, “Pros” and “Cons” on either side. I took a sip of my coffee, and stared into the darkness. I could see the outline of the couch Kyle was sleeping on, and I began writing. By the end, I had written a full page of what was good and bad. The biggest thing I was concerned about was Kyle selling himself. I knew he was trying to stop, but I knew he snuck out once in a while. However, the only good thing that seemed right was family. Yet I thought that was a big con for me. If I took Kyle in as a son, I felt like I was betraying my own family. And deep down in my gut, it didn’t feel right to miss ten years of life. I took another sip and carefully looked over the list. I rested my head in my hands, and I groaned. The memory of last night popped into my mind, and tried to think of something else.

“Why do I keep thinking about last night?” I whispered. ‘Could it be that I actually like it?’ I though. ‘No that couldn’t be it. But…No.’ I stood up quickly and tried to get rid of Kyle’s actions from my mind. I ended up walking over to the light switch and turned on the dimmer. I let enough light in to let me see where I was going, and I walked over to the couch.

Kyle was fast asleep in the fetal position, the throw blanket draped around his torso. He looked so cute while he slept, and I could tell he was dreaming. He turned over onto his back, and I saw Chad had undressed him. He was wearing white briefs, and I moved the blanket over him so I wouldn’t see them. As I pulled the blanket over him, I leaned in and kissed his forehead. It was then I saw that Kyle had dried tears on his face. I caressed the dried streaks, and kissed him again. I sat on the edge of the couch, hoping that he would wake. As I looked at him, I couldn’t help but think. Think about the future, the past, even what was happening now. I thought about what happened last night as this night wore on, and a rush ran over me. I held my stomach and groaned, I knew this feeling. I had got it years before when I met my wife. It was love. I glanced down at Kyle, and I saw he had thrown off the blanket again. I looked at him and I thought hard about what I was feeling. I thought of all the times we spent together, and wondered if it was out of love or not. I did love being around Kyle, and he made me happy. He knew just the right things to say, and he acted mature for his age. Again, the more I thought, the more I found reason to love the minor. I wished now Kyle would wake up so I could talk to him about it, but he didn’t show signs of waking. I decided to take Kyle up to my room, so I carried him up. He was just a heavy sleeper as I was, and he curled himself into a ball again when I laid him down. I gave him a kiss goodnight on his cheeks, and I got undressed. I stripped down to my underwear, and slipped in next to him. I hesitated about spooning with Kyle, and decided not to. I ended up falling asleep with my back towards him, but not before I gave Kyle one more kiss goodnight.

When I woke the next day, I found Kyle was gone. At first I thought nothing of it, and got ready for the day. When I went downstairs after my shower, I saw the whole downstairs was empty. I called and look for Kyle, but there was no sign of him. The only signs of him being here was an open phone book, and the cordless phone was off its cradle. I looked at the open page and saw that it was left open to the taxi section, and I knew right away where Kyle was. I shook my head in disappointment, and put the book away. I thought about going after him to talk, but I thought he needed some time away from me, and I let him be for a day or so. I knew that he would miss the luxury of being here, and he would eventually come back home. I did not think about Kyle going back to the brothel that much as I headed back out to my office. I spent the entire day there, grading papers, and preparing for next week’s lectures. I completely forgot about this morning by the afternoon, and I returned home shortly after four. I was eager to arrive back home. I knew that Kyle was waiting for me to arrive, and I hoped he was in a hugging mood. Whenever I would arrive home, Kyle would sometimes hug me and ask me how my day was. When I pulled up into my driveway, I felt something was different. It was quieter than usual, and I knew something was wrong. Turning the key in the lock, I opened the door, and I was welcomed with darkness and emptiness. When I stepped into the entryway, it hit me again, and I fell into a mild depression. Kyle was gone, and I was left with an empty house again; just me, myself, and I.

The next few days were like going through a heavy daze. Every time I would arrive home, I would get my hopes up; hoping that today was the day Kyle would come home. But every time I would get my hopes up, they were crushed when I came home to find Kyle was still not back. I thought that waiting for Kyle to come back was a good thing, but I found out I was wrong. I had slumped back into the cycle I was in before I met Kyle: come home, have dinner, read, and then go to sleep. All of this I did alone. My depression had deepened as well, and my doctor had put me on a stronger anti-depressant. It wasn’t till a week after Kyle had left that I stopped moping and hoping, and I did something about it. I had a class to teach that evening, but after class, I headed to the brothel. I had missed Kyle for too long now, and I needed him back. I needed to talk to him about what had happened that night, and I needed to talk to him about our feelings for each other. I was nervous about going to Kyle’s “home”, and by the time I arrived my hands were sweaty. I wiped them dry with a napkin I had in the glove compartment, and I got out. I stared at the house, and I saw that it was a bit quiet for a brothel. Mostly when I passed by it, I would see men coming and going, but there wasn’t anyone around tonight.

The house itself was an old Victorian home from the eighteen hundreds, and I saw that it had a fresh coat of white paint. The windows were somewhat dirty, but I saw that the building was well taken care of. I gulped when I saw a few windows were open, and some of the prostitutes were working. I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath in. I was scared out of my mind, but I walked up to the house, and into the lobby.

“Good evening, sir.” A young man greeted me when I walked in. He looked about ten years younger than me, and he wore clothes that were too tight on him. He was leaning over the high desk, and he had a nasty smug look on his face. “My name is Kris, what can I do for you?”

“Um….” I stepped up to his desk, and I placed my hands on the wood that separated us. I could feel my hands getting sweaty again, and I tried not to let my true feelings show. “I…came for some fun tonight.” I told him.

“First time?”

“How can you tell?”

“I’ve been in this business for ten years now,” Kris shrugged. “I know when it’s a guy’s first time. So, why don’t you press that button right there and we can have the boys come down.”

“Actually, I have somebody in mind already.” I told him, lowering my hands so that I could dry them on my pants.

“So, this isn’t your first time.”

“No, it is. It’s just I’ve picked this boy off the street before.”

“Ah. Who is he, I will ring him down for you.” Kris picked up the phone that was beside him while he talked, and he got ready dial the room number.

“His name is Kyle.” I told him. I hoped that Kris would dial the number, and that he would come down from his room. But Kris sighed and put the phone down. “What’s wrong?” I asked, hoping that there wasn’t anything wrong.

“Sorry, sir. But Kyle is with another client right now.” Kris told me.

“Oh.” I was disappointed. Another lost hope, and my heart sank. “Do you know when he is going to be done?” It was a stupid question to ask, but I had never done anything like this before.

Kris laughed, “Sorry. Kyle, had called down and said the client has paid for the rest of the day. But if you are still interested in a good time, there are plenty other boys that are waiting for some fun.”

I heard a door bell ring after he spoke, and I heard the sound of footsteps running. In a short time, the men who worked at the home were right in front of me. I was surprised to see so many lined up, and that most of them were not much older than Kyle. The youngest, besides Kyle, looked to be seventeen.

“Choose your posion.” I heard Kris say, and I stared down the line. I hoped to see a familiar face as I was looking at the boys. I finally spotted the familiar face at the end of the line, and I pointed to him. “Thank you for your business sir. You made a good choice. You may leave now.” He told the callers, and everyone except for the one I chose left. “Have fun,” he told me, and he left the room as well.

“Hello, Chad.” I sighed awkwardly.

“Cole.” from the tone of his voice, I could tell that he was still angry with me. “What are you doing here?”

“Like I told your manager, to have a good time.”

Chad rolled his eyes, and motioned for me to follow him. I followed without a word, and headed up the flight of stairs. As I headed up the stairs, I could hear the moans and groans coming from the rooms as I passed. Once in a while, I would even hear an orgasm or two in the halls. Chad stopped climbing the stairs by the third floor, and I followed him down the hall. Walking past the rooms, I did not hear that much noise from the other side of the doors. For the most part this hall was quieter than the rest. I could only hear a pair of moans escalating from one room. I stopped when I saw the room was next to Chad’s, and I remembered what Kyle had said. Kyle’s room was right next to Chad’s, and that was where to sounds were coming from. I pressed my ear to the oak door, and I could hear everything. I heard Kyle’s voice mostly, and it sounded like he was enjoying himself.

“It’s not polite to listen into other people’s sessions.” Chad snapped.

“Sorry.” I stepped away from Kyle’s door, and Chad ushered me into his room.

Once I was in, Chad slammed the door behind him and stomped over to me. “Now, tell me, what the fuck are you really doing here?” he spat. “You’re not here for a GOOD TIME, so there is only one reason why you’re here.”

“You are right.” I confessed, sitting on the edge of Chad’s bed. “I’m here to take Kyle back.”

“Because a brothel is no place for a kid right?”

“There’s that. But I need to talk to him about what happened, and a few other things.”

“What other things?” Chad asked, getting curious.

“Well, Kyle did something to me, and I feel…not like myself.”

“He blew you right?”

“How did you know?” I looked up at him with a weird look on my face.

“Kyle told me,” he sighed, and he flopped down next to me. “I have to say, it’s not your entire fault that things got so messy. It’s mostly Kyle’s.”

“I’m thinking that he’s done this before.”

“Thousands of times. He is such a kid. He thinks that every guy he blows will fall in love with him. But he is only setting himself up for a hard fall.”

“Maybe that’s why Kyle left me,” I realized. “He didn’t want to smash into the ground.”

“Yeah….wait, what’s with the ‘left me’ crap? Don’t tell me that you fell for him too.”

“I don’t know.” I cried, panicking. That’s what I need to talk about with him. I am so confused about my own feelings.”

“Well, did you like what Kyle did to you?” Chad asked, propping up on his elbow.

“I don’t know. I guess when you look at it from a point of view…”

I heard Chad laugh. “Guess it has been a while since you had a mouth wrapped around your cock.”

“Yes it has, and the last person to do so was my wife.”

“Don’t think of it too much though. Kyle’s blowjobs are amazing, but it’s all just a fantasy for both Kyle and the guy he blows.” I gave Chad a confused look, and tried to understand what he was talking about. When Chad realized that I didn’t quit understand what he meant, he elaborated more on the subject. “Kyle’s blowjobs are like a blessing and curse. They are great for the first few months, but once you had enough, you want to move on. It breaks Kyle’s heart every time.”

“That’s sad. I feel so sorry for him.”

“Do, you really feel sad for Kyle?”

“I do, but…”

“See, you’re confused. Kyle does that as well; makes the men all confuse. It’s like a bug. My suggestion is that you just forget about Kyle.”

“I can’t. I can’t get him out of mind. I want to talk to him.” I let out a sigh and leaned forward, hiding my face in my hands. We didn’t say much after that, and I thought about jest leaving. Since Chad and I were quiet, I could hear Kyle working in the next room. To tell you the truth, I didn’t want to hear it, I hated the sound. I fought back the urge to walk out for good, or to march in his room and demand to talk to him. I closed my eyes and tried to drown out the moans and groans. That only made things worse, and I thought that the sound increased. “Is this how it is here?” I asked Chad, hoping that our new conversation would drown out Kyle’s “fun”.

“Mostly, no. Before Kyle met you he would go out and find his clients. However, since he has been back, he has been at it twenty-four seven. I don’t know how he has been doing it. Most of the guys here don’t even bother going down when the door bell sounds.”

“How many guys has he…”

“What fucked? I don’t know, maybe fifty or so.”

“He must be trying to forget me.” I breathed. I guessed Chad had heard me, because he nodded, and got off his bad. I watched as he went over to a small refrigerator in the corner, and pulled out a drink.

“What anything?” he asked, offering a drink from his mini fridge.

“A beer would be nice.”

Chad grabbed a can of Coors Light from the door shelf, and then he went over to his dresser drawer. “Here you go,” he smirked, handing me the can and something else.

“What’s this for?” I asked, seeing he handed me a condom with the can of beer.

“You will need it, if you’re going to go through with your emotions and actions. Besides, Kyle doesn’t use protection.”

“You are not going to chew me out?”

Chad shook his head. “No.” he popped open his own drink, and took a sip. “I have been around this kind of work to know when somebody is in love---even when they are confused about what they really want.”

“So you think I’m in love?” I chuckled.

“Yeah, I do. But the truth is…ARE YOU really in love?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“That,” he grunted, sitting back down on his bed, “Is for you to find out on your own. And here is your chance.” he snickered.

I held my breath as I heard Kyle let out a loud moan that echoed through the entire hall. I looked at the alarm clock on Chad’s dresser, and I saw that it was almost ten. Two more hours till midnight, then Kyle’s client would leave. The urge of wanting to go into his room rushed through me again, and I stood up. I walked over to Chad’s bathroom door, but stopped short. I felt Chad’s eyes burn in the back of my head, and I felt hot. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest, and I turned away. I was weak; I couldn’t bring myself to see him. Not in the state he was in anyway. I heard Kyle and his client talk for a few minutes, I couldn’t make out the words though but I only guessed. Chad just sat on his bed and listened as well. The conversation that we were listening in on went smoothly at first, but in a few seconds Kyle’s client was yelling. I could make out what he was saying now, and it sounded like he found out his partner’s real age. He was screaming how he was going to go jail for statutory rape. The client went on and on, saying that he would not pay for Kyle’s services, and I heard the door slam closed. There was silence after that, but I could still here shuffles coming from Kyle’s room.

“Chad!” Kyle’s voice broke the silence after a while, and I turned back around. Kyle was in the bathroom, and I could hear the shower water running. “I’m going to take a shower, care to join me?”

I turned to Chad to see what he was going to do, and I saw he was not moving. “You’re not going to join him?” I asked.

“No. But, why don’t you join him?” Chad replied. “This is your chance to patch things up with him.” He smiled and took another sip before he answered. “Sure Kyle, I’ll be in a sec!”

I stared down at the young man before me, and he gave me a wink. I took a deep breath in and downed the rest of my beer. I threw the empty can away after I was done, and took one more deep breath. It was now or never, and I slowly walked into the bathroom. Kyle was already in the shower when I walked in, and I shut the door so we can have privacy. I took a quick gaze around the small room, and I saw that there was a small pile of clothes lying on the floor. The glass was getting all steamed up, and the only thing that I could see was the fuzzy outline of myself. I turned and faced the shower. The curtain was drawn closed, but it was see through, and I was able to see Kyle’s body. I began to sweat from the steam that filled the room, and I wiped my brow. However, I don’t believe that it was from the steam alone that was making me hot. Kyle had a fine body, and his profile was just right. He was standing with all his weight on one foot, and he had his eyes closed all the time. I watched as he grabbed the soap that was sitting on the edge of the tub, and he lathered himself up with it. I licked my lips and tilted my head to the side. It was starting to get hotter, and the shower was looked tempting with every passing second. I was about to call out to Kyle, when he spotted me through the curtain.

“COLE!” he cried, covering himself up, and backing up against the shower wall. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he cried even louder, and froze when I draw back the curtain.

“Kyle, hi. Sorry to walk in but…”

“GET OUT!” he yelled. He walked out of the shower without turning off the water.

“Kyle, wait,” I cried, and turned off the water before I chased him into his room. “Kyle, please wait. I want to talk to you.”

“No! Get out. I don’t want to talk.”

“Kyle, stop!” I yelled, raising my voice so I could get Kyle’s attention. I grabbed his wrist, and he spun around. His eyes were narrow, and he gave me a disgusted look.

“Get away from me Cole, and get out.” he spat through his teeth.

“No. not until we talk.”

“Talk? About what?”

“About the night you blew me, and how you ran out.”

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Kyle, I know how mad you are at me, but I want to apologize.”

“Why should you? So I could forgive you and then we can move onto the next subject---discussing how you want to adopt me?”

“You know about that?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Kyle had calmed down a bit, and sat down on his bed. “Chad found the adoption papers in Daniel’s briefcase. Is that true, do you really want me as your son?”

“Well…yes.”

“Why?” he asked sternly.

I thought about Kyle’s question. Why did I want to adopt him? That was an easy question to answer, but I did not want to say it. “Because I….” I couldn’t bring myself either to tell Kyle my new reason either. I was at a loss for words, and I really wanted to confess.

“Because what? Because you love me?” he laughed.

“Yes I do love you.” I snapped. “I love you so much that I want to adopt you so we can live together.”

“You fucking liar.” Kyle spat back, getting off the bed. “You don’t LOVE me.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, standing up so I was making proper eye contact. “Of course I love you.”

“No. not the way that I want you to.” Kyle shook his head lightly, and he began to cry. “You love me like a son, not as a lover.” he began sobbing as he talked, and it was starting to get harder to hear what he was saying.

“Now, that is not true either.” I protested. I stepped closer to him, and I caressed his check. I thought he was going to swat my hand away, but he didn’t and he continued to cry.

“Yes it is. Why wouldn’t you sign those adoption papers? You want to be a father again, make sure I go to school, grow up right, and make me get off the streets….”

Kyle’s whining and crying had become too much, and I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I decided right then and there to shut him up the best way possible. I pulled his head up, and I placed my lips over his. Kyle shut up immediately, and it was then I discovered my true feelings. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the kiss. I ran my tongue across Kyle’s mouth, hoping that he would open. He did, and I flooded his mouth. He moaned as I rolled my tongue over his, and began tossing it around in his mouth. Kyle was starting to enjoy the kiss, and after a while he ran a hand through my hair. I did the same, and pulled him closer, hoping to deepen the kiss just a bit more. He wrapped his arms around me and moaned louder. I smiled and managed to hook my hands inside the towel he was wearing. Kyle groaned when I tried to tear the towel away from him, and he pulled away.

“Cole, don’t.” Kyle pleaded. He pushed me away, but I didn’t want to stop. I pulled him closer, and I began moving my kisses down over his neck. “AH---COLE!” I bit down on his neck and sucked, something that I haven’t done since Linda and I were dating. “Cole, stop!” Kyle had finally got my attention, and pushed me hard enough off him. “I’m sorry, Cole. But I do not want to be your adoptive son, nor your lover.”

“Why?” I questioned him, getting back up and caressing his cheek again. “Don’t you feel the same way?”

“I do,” Kyle said softly. “But I would be living a lie, you would be living a lie.”

“No I wouldn’t. Kyle, I love you.”

Kyle began sobbing again, and I cradled him in my arms. He pushed away once I embraced him, and shook his head. “You don’t get it. You don’t love me; you love the arousal you get from me.”

“Kyle, you don’t understand. I am not like your clients, I really love you.” That made Kyle sob even more. “And I know you love me too, please come home.”

“You still want me to stay with you?” Kyle was shocked that I would still want him back home, but it was the truth, even if he did not have the same feelings as I did.

“Yes. I want you back.”

Kyle’s sobs died down, and I wiped away the tears that rolled down his face. Kyle smiled up at me, and I hoped he was going to say he yes, and I smiled back at him. I placed a kiss over his forehead and he sniffled. He wrapped his arms around me for comfort, and I held him tight. “Wolf.” I heard him say.

“What?” I scuffed. I pulled him out so I could see his face. His face was smudged with tears, but he had stopped crying.

“My last name. When we first met, you ask me my last name. It’s Wolf.”

I laughed lightly, and I pulled him back into my arms. “So does that mean you will come back with me?”

“I need to think about everything, about what happened tonight.” Kyle hesitated with his response.

“I understand,” I sighed, “It’s a lot to take in. But when you finally decide, my door will be open to you.” I gave Kyle a kiss goodbye, and I said goodbye to him.

Kyle waved goodbye as I left, and I headed back downstairs. When I reached the lobby, Kris was sitting behind his desk, reading a dirty magazine. He put it down when he saw me emerge from the staircase, and he stood with a smile.

“Everything to your liking sir?” he asked, his smile growing into a grin.

“You might say that.” I replied, and I thanked him for the brothel’s services.

Driving back home, I felt an emptiness inside me, and already I was missing Kyle again. It was about twelve when I arrived back home, and I felt the house was a lot emptier then the past week without Kyle. I went straight to bed when I got home, and fell asleep, thinking that this pillow I was clenching was Kyle.