The Bodark
folder
Paranormal/Supernatural › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
10
Views:
8,494
Reviews:
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Recommended:
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
Paranormal/Supernatural › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
10
Views:
8,494
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
Story and characters straight from the dredges of my mind..muwaahhaahaa!
Chapter Nine
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
This is a longer chapter..and I know there is a lot of technical emergency room action. Just bear with me..after this chapter Rachel kinda falls down the rabbit hole :P
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Chapter 9
My day was starting out rough. Yet another night of tossing and turning restlessly, until finally drifting off into a deep slumber sometime before dawn. I felt like crap as I rolled out of bed, every muscle in my body aching. 'Man I hope I'm not coming down with the flu...'
On top of that I was running late, having slept right through the first two alarms set on my digital clock. The schedule at the hospital had me going in at 9:00 am so I had to get a move on if I was going to make it on time.
Walking into the bathroom and looking in the mirror had me groaning in despair. My thick wavy hair looked like birds had nested in it sometime during the coarse of the night, no doubt a result of falling into bed with damp hair.
“My God.” I groused as I combed fingers through my rebellious hair, a futile attempt to tame it down. There was no helping it, the only thing that was going to fix this was another wash followed by a proper dry, which of course I didn't have time for.
'Time for damage control..' I thought as I searched my basket of hair clips and pins for what I would need to put my hair up in a quick ballerina style bun. Even my usual ponytail wasn't going to be enough today. After wrestling a bit with the wild tresses, I managed to wrangle them up and out of the way.
Once my hair had been dealt with, in no time at all I was out the door backpack in hand, dressed in my usual uniform of green scrubs and tennis shoes.
I was only two blocks away from the hospital when I spotted it...some call it Starbucks, I call it Nirvana.
Glancing at my watch I quickly determined that there may be just enough time to pop in and get a cup of coffee to go. Then I could be back on my merry way to work, but a much happier version of me.
Now standing in line at the counter, I was beginning to get a little antsy. The older gentlemen in front of me, had been standing there questioning the barista on the ingredients of almost every blended coffee they served. Had Baba not ingrained in me manners and respect for my elders, I would have probably said something rude by now.
Finally it was my turn, and I wasted no time ordering the usual, a grande white chocolate mocha frappuccino. 'yuuummm.'
Paying for the drink I hurried out the door, intent on making a dash of the next couple of blocks.
Turing a sharp left toward the direction of the hospital, I almost ran right smack into a couple of people who had been blocking the sidewalk just outside the coffee house. After assuring that the top of my frappuccino had held in place, I looked up to apologize.
“Oh..I'm sorry.” I mumbled.
It was a man and woman. The man was fairly tall, lean with a dark complexion. He was dressed casually in a pair of dark jeans and leather jacket. Clean shaven with a long angular face, his eyes were covered by a pair of dark sunglasses.
I couldn't help but notice the woman standing beside him was extremely attractive. Short and petite, she had a head full of dark shiny curls that tumbled down around her shoulders. Wearing a pair of tight designer jeans that were tucked into a pair brown high heel boots, she also wore a matching brown leather jacket. Large dark luminous eyes stood out, as she peered up at me.
The woman said, “Oh..that's ok. No harm done.”
Giving a small thankful smile for her understanding, I began to walk around them to be on my way.
A light touch to my arm brought me up short, and then the woman said, “Perhaps you could help us. We are just visiting the city, and are looking for an address.”
Hiking my backpack higher on my shoulder and adjusting the hot cup in my hand, I listened to her dilemma with sympathy.
“To be honest I'm not very familiar with the city myself, but what's the address?” I asked on the off chance I could help the couple.
Reaching into her jacket pockets then glancing at her partner, who still hadn't said a word, she widened her eyes and said, “Oh..you know what...I left the address in our van! It's actually written on a city map that we can't make heads or tales of, perhaps you could take look at it for us?” she implored.
Glancing down at my watch, I knew that I didn't have a moment to spare. As much as I wanted to help, understanding what being new to the city was like, I just couldn't do it.
With a shake of my head, I said regretfully, “I'm really sorry, I'm running late for work as it is. You should take that map in Starbucks and ask someone, or better yet just ask one of the employees.”
A look I can only describe as frustration crossed the woman's face, but then was quickly covered by a polite smile.
“Of course, we understand.” She said smoothly.
Giving them an apologetic look I said, “Good luck!” Then quickly took off to work.
Had I turned back around, I would have noticed the couple staring intently after me as I hurried on my way.
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Another typical ER shift, busy but smooth. Though running a few minutes late coming in the door that morning, I quickly caught up and was able to relax into my work.
Scarfing down a bacon egg and cheese biscuit that one of the nurses kindly brought me from the hospital cafeteria, I was left still feeling unusually hungry. Normally one biscuit would be more than enough to fill me up, but today I was left feeling as if I could have ate at least two more with no problem. Putting a couple packs of nabs in my pocket, I found myself munching on those between patients.
There was a flu going around, and that left me dealing with several patients coming in with symptoms throughout the day. Other than that I treated a variety of different types of cases, everything ranging from a broken finger to a woman who came in with premature labor pains.
As the day wound down into evening, and my shift was coming to an end, we got a call from dispatch that an overdose was in route to the hospital.
Dr. Wheeler, the senior resident on shift was busy with a skull fracture and decided to give the case to me.
Within minutes of suiting up, the ambulance had arrived and I was completely focused on the task at hand.
“White female, fourteen years of age, discovered by her Mother passed out in her bedroom. Her Mom suspects drug use.”
As the paramedic called out the stats of our newest patient, I examined the young girl that lay on the gurney now being rushed toward a room. She was a pretty little thing I noted, blond with all the classic cheerleader looks. I bet normally she was a live wire, but right now she was as white as a sheet and unresponsive.
“Do we know what kind of drug?” I asked glancing up at the paramedic who's name escaped me at the moment.
Shaking his head in negative he replied, “Her Mom wasn't sure....said she had just got home from a friends house.”
Detecting a extremely low pulse, I knew instantly that this little girl was in serious trouble. If in fact this was a drug overdose, I was betting that it was caused by a depressant of some kind.
Unfortunately drugs such as oxycontin or other opiates were popular with the younger crowds, due both to their affordability and accessibility.
“Go ahead and get an IV set up with naloxone.” I said to Gene, the RN that was waiting for instructions as we swung through the door or room 4. I ordered the opiate blocking drug, hoping it would help immediately.
Thinking quickly, I rattled off instructions to another nurse, Payton, who stood beside me.
“We need a draw a tox screen, chem 7..but do a blood gas first.” Giving me a quick nod of acknowledgment, she set to work doing what I had requested.
I worked in sync with the rest of the team cutting away necessary clothing, and attaching all the appropriate equipment and leads.
After several tense minutes the arterial blood gas analysis came back, and the numbers were extremely low, which meant my patient wasn't getting enough oxygen.
No time to hesitate, I called out, “She's hypoxic! Someone get me a intubation kit with a 7.5 tube.”
Within moments, I had the girl's head pulled back and was attempting to insert a long flexible tube down the girls throat, past the larynx then vocal chords and into her trachea with the help of a laryngoscope.
Once I had achieved my objective I called out, “I'm in.”
An ambu bag, a small mask attached to a bag valve, was quickly handed to me. I deftly fit the end of the tube into the mask, then placed it firmly over the girls face. Now the bag had to be squeezed manually every five seconds to insure the young patient was delivered the oxygen she needed.
Hopefully we could stabilize her enough to breath on her own, but if we couldn't the tracheal tube could easily be hooked up to a breathing machine.
Exchanging positions with Gene so that she could man the ambu bag, I moved around to the girls other side to continue my examination.
Starting a chart, I had just begun to record the girls stats when a shrill alarm pierced the air.
Every head in the room whipped around to look at the ECG machine. My eyes instantly zeroed in on the display screen to the sinus rhythm line now riddled with dips and stutters.
Blood rushing in my ears I shouted, “Dammit she's going V-fib, grab the crash cart!”
A flurry of commotion erupted in the room as everyone moved into autopilot, rushing around to gather what would be needed to save the girl.
“Give her a push of epinephrin .20!” I ordered decisively to one of the nurses.
Standing next to the gurney I positioned my hands in the middle of the girl's chest and announced to the room, “Starting chest compressions.”
Beginning the rhythmic motions that would artificially keep the patients blood flowing and hopefully reset her heart in a normal rhythm, I made eye contact with Gene as she continued to squeeze the ambu bag in tandem to my heart compressions.
This went on for several moments before I stopped and watched the monitor intently for a stable rhythm.
“Still in V-fib Rachel.” said the deeply accented voice of my fellow intern Kalash.
Having joined the room sometime during all the chaos, I was quite relieved to have his assistance. A doctor from India, Kalash was here in the US on a Intern abroad program. Besides always being easy going and friendly, he was in my opinion one of the best interns here in the ER.
“I'm going to try again, but be ready to use the paddles just in case.” I said to him as I began the chest compressions again.
After another three minutes passed with sweat trickling down my back and dotting my forehead, I again stopped to assess the heart monitor.
'Fuck'.. She was still in v-fib, a condition where the heart basically twitches, and I knew if I didn't get it corrected soon it would stop all together.
I had been hesitant up to this point to use the defibrillator, knowing that it could either shock the heart into rhythm or stop it all together, truly a catch 22. Once her heart stopped, the defibrillator would be useless.
Glancing down at the baby face of the young girl, understanding that we were running out of time, I made the call.
Sucking in a deep breath I said, “Ok..charge the paddles to 400..” I made eye contact with Kalash and he gave a small nod of agreement before reaching over to retrieve the paddles.
Paddles in hand he called out, “Charging 400..Clear!” Everyone near the gurney raised their hands up and away from the patient while Kalash administered the shock to her small chest.
Her body gave a small involuntary arch up before resting back onto the gurney. We all watched the heart monitor anxiously, hoping for the best.
Still showed V-Fib.
“Shit!” I cursed as Gene and I began CPR again.
My arms were beginning to sting from fatigue as I continued to exert myself over the girl.
“Kalash..charge to 600. Payton..push another 20 of epinephrin!”
Soon the sound of the battery wound up as it rapidly charged the paddles.
“OK..charging to 600...clear!” Kalash called out before placing the paddles into position.
Again we stepped back and watched as her small body arched up from the shock. Everyone in the room held their breath as we waited for the outcome.
This time there was a change.
The heart monitor beeped twice before stuttering to a flat line, triggering a long continuous beep.
“She's asystole!” I shouted as I dove toward the girl again and frantically began the chest compressions, fueled this time by desperation.
“After a couple more minutes, I yelled out in frustration, “Someone turn that fucking alarm off..now!”
Immediately the room was quiet again, with only the sound of my rapid breathing as I worked over the small chest under my hands, and the hiss of the ambu bag as it refilled with air every five seconds.
I lost all sense of time as I worked feverishly to restart the young heart, but was soon reminded as Payton called out, “6 minutes asystole doctor.”
Ignoring the nurse, I desperately continued the chest compression not yet ready to give up.
Several more moments passed before I felt a pair of hands resting on top of mine. I looked up into Kalash's face as he looked at me with a look of pure compassion.
He said, “It's been almost 9 minutes. She's gone.”
Breaking his gaze, I stared down at the young girl lying there so still. Suddenly the weight of crushing defeat descended upon my shoulders.
“Call it.” I said softly.
Payton called out, “Time of death..5:22 PM.”
The sentence hung in the air, heavy with finality. I truly hated those words...time of death...time of death....
Backing away from the gurney, I stripped off first the disposable smock that had covered the front of my scrubs then the pair of protective latex gloves. I absently threw them in the receptacle by the door.
A few minutes later had me signing off on the death certificate paperwork that Gene handed to me one by one, my eyes drawn back again and again to the hospital gurney stationed at the center of the room. The young girl still lie there, now alone, all the equipment still attached.
Gene said quietly, “Her family is in the waiting room.”
I felt dread creep up my spine, at the thought of what I now had to go do.
“Get her cleaned up..her parents will probably want to see her.” I said as the last signature was placed on the last paper.
Finally leaving the ER room 4, I walked over to nurses station and called the waiting room admitting area. A voice I didn't recognize picked up on the other end.
“This is Dr. Maslova in the ER, could you please have..” I looked down at the chart and double checked the name …. “...Wendy Riley's family moved into the family conference room. I'll be there in a moment to talk with them. Thank you”
I stared down at the chart in a daze. 'Wendy Riley...'
As a doctor, especially an ER doctor, losing patients was no new thing. Unfortunately patients came through the door all the time well beyond medical help. It's important to develop a thick skin, you either do that or you quit.
No matter how much time passes or how thick your skin is, losing the young ones is hard. One of the older doctors that I worked with back in med school had said that once.
He also told us that we never wanted to get to point that a child's death doesn't affect us and he was right, I never want to have skin that thick.
So with a heavy heart, I slowly moved in the direction of the waiting room.
“Rachel...” It was Kalash standing behind me, giving me another look of such compassion I wanted to cry.
“You did everything you could.”
Appreciating his support, I gave him a sad lopsided smile before replying, “Yet...it somehow just wasn't enough.”
With those words I exited through the swinging doors that lead to the ER waiting room.
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Having closed the door softly behind me, I could still hear the muffled sobs from the room within. Walking stiffly, holding myself together, I made a left which led me in the opposite direction of the ER, and toward the Exit/entrance doors that would lead outside.
It was dusk now, and some of the automatic outside hospital lights were just beginning to turn on. I followed the sidewalk toward a small sitting area complete with grass, hedges and a small gazebo, normally a favorite spot for visiting smokers. Swiftly looking around, I was relieved to see there was no one sitting there at the moment.
Taking a seat on one of the benches beside the gazebo, I scrubbed my face with both of my hands. The look that Wendy Riley's Mother had on her face when I broke the news to the family would haunt me for a long time to come.
As was my habit when I lost a patient, scenarios began to run through my head of what I could have done differently...better. Torturing myself with the possibility that I missed something, that I should have used a different medication, perhaps caught the V-fib quicker. 'Shouldn't have used the defibrillator....'
I felt my eyes began to fill with moisture as the sound of Mrs. Riley's pain filled voice echoed in my mind. “Oh God! No not my baby! NO!”...
I put my elbows on my knees and lowered my face into my hands, as I felt the tears leak down my face.
So completely immersed in my misery, I failed to hear anyone approach.
“Fancy meeting you here.” said a woman's voice in front of me.
Confused, I lifted my head out of my hands and squinted up at the person who spoke. The lights in the sitting area and around the gazebo still had not come on and I was having trouble making out details.
Rising to my feet, I stepped closer to the figure. As her features became clearer, something in the back of my mind ticked. She looked familiar...
Then she said, “I was wondering if you could help me with those directions now Rachel.”
With those words several things clicked at once. I suddenly realized that I was seeing the woman who had asked for directions on my way to work. 'How did she find me here?'.. Amidst the confusion of my thoughts, one rang out most clearly. 'Wait......I never told her my name'...
Clearing my throat I began, “How did yo......”
When suddenly from behind I was engulfed by one impossibly strong arm that wrapped itself around my shoulders. A split second later before I could react, I felt the sharp sting of a needle in the side of my neck.
I instantly felt my traitorous body react to the drug that had been plunged into my veins. First my mind became fuzzy as my sight began to dim, then I felt my legs give out from underneath me.
Large arms caught me before I collapsed to the ground.
The woman's voice, now distorted and slow sounding said, “Hurry before someone sees us....”
And that's when everything went black.
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A/N Thanks again to everyone that takes the time to read! I really do appreciate the reviews and ratings guys..it makes writing every chapter so much easier. I love to hear what you think about my story, so please share your thoughts with me :)
Dani
This is a longer chapter..and I know there is a lot of technical emergency room action. Just bear with me..after this chapter Rachel kinda falls down the rabbit hole :P
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Chapter 9
My day was starting out rough. Yet another night of tossing and turning restlessly, until finally drifting off into a deep slumber sometime before dawn. I felt like crap as I rolled out of bed, every muscle in my body aching. 'Man I hope I'm not coming down with the flu...'
On top of that I was running late, having slept right through the first two alarms set on my digital clock. The schedule at the hospital had me going in at 9:00 am so I had to get a move on if I was going to make it on time.
Walking into the bathroom and looking in the mirror had me groaning in despair. My thick wavy hair looked like birds had nested in it sometime during the coarse of the night, no doubt a result of falling into bed with damp hair.
“My God.” I groused as I combed fingers through my rebellious hair, a futile attempt to tame it down. There was no helping it, the only thing that was going to fix this was another wash followed by a proper dry, which of course I didn't have time for.
'Time for damage control..' I thought as I searched my basket of hair clips and pins for what I would need to put my hair up in a quick ballerina style bun. Even my usual ponytail wasn't going to be enough today. After wrestling a bit with the wild tresses, I managed to wrangle them up and out of the way.
Once my hair had been dealt with, in no time at all I was out the door backpack in hand, dressed in my usual uniform of green scrubs and tennis shoes.
I was only two blocks away from the hospital when I spotted it...some call it Starbucks, I call it Nirvana.
Glancing at my watch I quickly determined that there may be just enough time to pop in and get a cup of coffee to go. Then I could be back on my merry way to work, but a much happier version of me.
Now standing in line at the counter, I was beginning to get a little antsy. The older gentlemen in front of me, had been standing there questioning the barista on the ingredients of almost every blended coffee they served. Had Baba not ingrained in me manners and respect for my elders, I would have probably said something rude by now.
Finally it was my turn, and I wasted no time ordering the usual, a grande white chocolate mocha frappuccino. 'yuuummm.'
Paying for the drink I hurried out the door, intent on making a dash of the next couple of blocks.
Turing a sharp left toward the direction of the hospital, I almost ran right smack into a couple of people who had been blocking the sidewalk just outside the coffee house. After assuring that the top of my frappuccino had held in place, I looked up to apologize.
“Oh..I'm sorry.” I mumbled.
It was a man and woman. The man was fairly tall, lean with a dark complexion. He was dressed casually in a pair of dark jeans and leather jacket. Clean shaven with a long angular face, his eyes were covered by a pair of dark sunglasses.
I couldn't help but notice the woman standing beside him was extremely attractive. Short and petite, she had a head full of dark shiny curls that tumbled down around her shoulders. Wearing a pair of tight designer jeans that were tucked into a pair brown high heel boots, she also wore a matching brown leather jacket. Large dark luminous eyes stood out, as she peered up at me.
The woman said, “Oh..that's ok. No harm done.”
Giving a small thankful smile for her understanding, I began to walk around them to be on my way.
A light touch to my arm brought me up short, and then the woman said, “Perhaps you could help us. We are just visiting the city, and are looking for an address.”
Hiking my backpack higher on my shoulder and adjusting the hot cup in my hand, I listened to her dilemma with sympathy.
“To be honest I'm not very familiar with the city myself, but what's the address?” I asked on the off chance I could help the couple.
Reaching into her jacket pockets then glancing at her partner, who still hadn't said a word, she widened her eyes and said, “Oh..you know what...I left the address in our van! It's actually written on a city map that we can't make heads or tales of, perhaps you could take look at it for us?” she implored.
Glancing down at my watch, I knew that I didn't have a moment to spare. As much as I wanted to help, understanding what being new to the city was like, I just couldn't do it.
With a shake of my head, I said regretfully, “I'm really sorry, I'm running late for work as it is. You should take that map in Starbucks and ask someone, or better yet just ask one of the employees.”
A look I can only describe as frustration crossed the woman's face, but then was quickly covered by a polite smile.
“Of course, we understand.” She said smoothly.
Giving them an apologetic look I said, “Good luck!” Then quickly took off to work.
Had I turned back around, I would have noticed the couple staring intently after me as I hurried on my way.
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Another typical ER shift, busy but smooth. Though running a few minutes late coming in the door that morning, I quickly caught up and was able to relax into my work.
Scarfing down a bacon egg and cheese biscuit that one of the nurses kindly brought me from the hospital cafeteria, I was left still feeling unusually hungry. Normally one biscuit would be more than enough to fill me up, but today I was left feeling as if I could have ate at least two more with no problem. Putting a couple packs of nabs in my pocket, I found myself munching on those between patients.
There was a flu going around, and that left me dealing with several patients coming in with symptoms throughout the day. Other than that I treated a variety of different types of cases, everything ranging from a broken finger to a woman who came in with premature labor pains.
As the day wound down into evening, and my shift was coming to an end, we got a call from dispatch that an overdose was in route to the hospital.
Dr. Wheeler, the senior resident on shift was busy with a skull fracture and decided to give the case to me.
Within minutes of suiting up, the ambulance had arrived and I was completely focused on the task at hand.
“White female, fourteen years of age, discovered by her Mother passed out in her bedroom. Her Mom suspects drug use.”
As the paramedic called out the stats of our newest patient, I examined the young girl that lay on the gurney now being rushed toward a room. She was a pretty little thing I noted, blond with all the classic cheerleader looks. I bet normally she was a live wire, but right now she was as white as a sheet and unresponsive.
“Do we know what kind of drug?” I asked glancing up at the paramedic who's name escaped me at the moment.
Shaking his head in negative he replied, “Her Mom wasn't sure....said she had just got home from a friends house.”
Detecting a extremely low pulse, I knew instantly that this little girl was in serious trouble. If in fact this was a drug overdose, I was betting that it was caused by a depressant of some kind.
Unfortunately drugs such as oxycontin or other opiates were popular with the younger crowds, due both to their affordability and accessibility.
“Go ahead and get an IV set up with naloxone.” I said to Gene, the RN that was waiting for instructions as we swung through the door or room 4. I ordered the opiate blocking drug, hoping it would help immediately.
Thinking quickly, I rattled off instructions to another nurse, Payton, who stood beside me.
“We need a draw a tox screen, chem 7..but do a blood gas first.” Giving me a quick nod of acknowledgment, she set to work doing what I had requested.
I worked in sync with the rest of the team cutting away necessary clothing, and attaching all the appropriate equipment and leads.
After several tense minutes the arterial blood gas analysis came back, and the numbers were extremely low, which meant my patient wasn't getting enough oxygen.
No time to hesitate, I called out, “She's hypoxic! Someone get me a intubation kit with a 7.5 tube.”
Within moments, I had the girl's head pulled back and was attempting to insert a long flexible tube down the girls throat, past the larynx then vocal chords and into her trachea with the help of a laryngoscope.
Once I had achieved my objective I called out, “I'm in.”
An ambu bag, a small mask attached to a bag valve, was quickly handed to me. I deftly fit the end of the tube into the mask, then placed it firmly over the girls face. Now the bag had to be squeezed manually every five seconds to insure the young patient was delivered the oxygen she needed.
Hopefully we could stabilize her enough to breath on her own, but if we couldn't the tracheal tube could easily be hooked up to a breathing machine.
Exchanging positions with Gene so that she could man the ambu bag, I moved around to the girls other side to continue my examination.
Starting a chart, I had just begun to record the girls stats when a shrill alarm pierced the air.
Every head in the room whipped around to look at the ECG machine. My eyes instantly zeroed in on the display screen to the sinus rhythm line now riddled with dips and stutters.
Blood rushing in my ears I shouted, “Dammit she's going V-fib, grab the crash cart!”
A flurry of commotion erupted in the room as everyone moved into autopilot, rushing around to gather what would be needed to save the girl.
“Give her a push of epinephrin .20!” I ordered decisively to one of the nurses.
Standing next to the gurney I positioned my hands in the middle of the girl's chest and announced to the room, “Starting chest compressions.”
Beginning the rhythmic motions that would artificially keep the patients blood flowing and hopefully reset her heart in a normal rhythm, I made eye contact with Gene as she continued to squeeze the ambu bag in tandem to my heart compressions.
This went on for several moments before I stopped and watched the monitor intently for a stable rhythm.
“Still in V-fib Rachel.” said the deeply accented voice of my fellow intern Kalash.
Having joined the room sometime during all the chaos, I was quite relieved to have his assistance. A doctor from India, Kalash was here in the US on a Intern abroad program. Besides always being easy going and friendly, he was in my opinion one of the best interns here in the ER.
“I'm going to try again, but be ready to use the paddles just in case.” I said to him as I began the chest compressions again.
After another three minutes passed with sweat trickling down my back and dotting my forehead, I again stopped to assess the heart monitor.
'Fuck'.. She was still in v-fib, a condition where the heart basically twitches, and I knew if I didn't get it corrected soon it would stop all together.
I had been hesitant up to this point to use the defibrillator, knowing that it could either shock the heart into rhythm or stop it all together, truly a catch 22. Once her heart stopped, the defibrillator would be useless.
Glancing down at the baby face of the young girl, understanding that we were running out of time, I made the call.
Sucking in a deep breath I said, “Ok..charge the paddles to 400..” I made eye contact with Kalash and he gave a small nod of agreement before reaching over to retrieve the paddles.
Paddles in hand he called out, “Charging 400..Clear!” Everyone near the gurney raised their hands up and away from the patient while Kalash administered the shock to her small chest.
Her body gave a small involuntary arch up before resting back onto the gurney. We all watched the heart monitor anxiously, hoping for the best.
Still showed V-Fib.
“Shit!” I cursed as Gene and I began CPR again.
My arms were beginning to sting from fatigue as I continued to exert myself over the girl.
“Kalash..charge to 600. Payton..push another 20 of epinephrin!”
Soon the sound of the battery wound up as it rapidly charged the paddles.
“OK..charging to 600...clear!” Kalash called out before placing the paddles into position.
Again we stepped back and watched as her small body arched up from the shock. Everyone in the room held their breath as we waited for the outcome.
This time there was a change.
The heart monitor beeped twice before stuttering to a flat line, triggering a long continuous beep.
“She's asystole!” I shouted as I dove toward the girl again and frantically began the chest compressions, fueled this time by desperation.
“After a couple more minutes, I yelled out in frustration, “Someone turn that fucking alarm off..now!”
Immediately the room was quiet again, with only the sound of my rapid breathing as I worked over the small chest under my hands, and the hiss of the ambu bag as it refilled with air every five seconds.
I lost all sense of time as I worked feverishly to restart the young heart, but was soon reminded as Payton called out, “6 minutes asystole doctor.”
Ignoring the nurse, I desperately continued the chest compression not yet ready to give up.
Several more moments passed before I felt a pair of hands resting on top of mine. I looked up into Kalash's face as he looked at me with a look of pure compassion.
He said, “It's been almost 9 minutes. She's gone.”
Breaking his gaze, I stared down at the young girl lying there so still. Suddenly the weight of crushing defeat descended upon my shoulders.
“Call it.” I said softly.
Payton called out, “Time of death..5:22 PM.”
The sentence hung in the air, heavy with finality. I truly hated those words...time of death...time of death....
Backing away from the gurney, I stripped off first the disposable smock that had covered the front of my scrubs then the pair of protective latex gloves. I absently threw them in the receptacle by the door.
A few minutes later had me signing off on the death certificate paperwork that Gene handed to me one by one, my eyes drawn back again and again to the hospital gurney stationed at the center of the room. The young girl still lie there, now alone, all the equipment still attached.
Gene said quietly, “Her family is in the waiting room.”
I felt dread creep up my spine, at the thought of what I now had to go do.
“Get her cleaned up..her parents will probably want to see her.” I said as the last signature was placed on the last paper.
Finally leaving the ER room 4, I walked over to nurses station and called the waiting room admitting area. A voice I didn't recognize picked up on the other end.
“This is Dr. Maslova in the ER, could you please have..” I looked down at the chart and double checked the name …. “...Wendy Riley's family moved into the family conference room. I'll be there in a moment to talk with them. Thank you”
I stared down at the chart in a daze. 'Wendy Riley...'
As a doctor, especially an ER doctor, losing patients was no new thing. Unfortunately patients came through the door all the time well beyond medical help. It's important to develop a thick skin, you either do that or you quit.
No matter how much time passes or how thick your skin is, losing the young ones is hard. One of the older doctors that I worked with back in med school had said that once.
He also told us that we never wanted to get to point that a child's death doesn't affect us and he was right, I never want to have skin that thick.
So with a heavy heart, I slowly moved in the direction of the waiting room.
“Rachel...” It was Kalash standing behind me, giving me another look of such compassion I wanted to cry.
“You did everything you could.”
Appreciating his support, I gave him a sad lopsided smile before replying, “Yet...it somehow just wasn't enough.”
With those words I exited through the swinging doors that lead to the ER waiting room.
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Having closed the door softly behind me, I could still hear the muffled sobs from the room within. Walking stiffly, holding myself together, I made a left which led me in the opposite direction of the ER, and toward the Exit/entrance doors that would lead outside.
It was dusk now, and some of the automatic outside hospital lights were just beginning to turn on. I followed the sidewalk toward a small sitting area complete with grass, hedges and a small gazebo, normally a favorite spot for visiting smokers. Swiftly looking around, I was relieved to see there was no one sitting there at the moment.
Taking a seat on one of the benches beside the gazebo, I scrubbed my face with both of my hands. The look that Wendy Riley's Mother had on her face when I broke the news to the family would haunt me for a long time to come.
As was my habit when I lost a patient, scenarios began to run through my head of what I could have done differently...better. Torturing myself with the possibility that I missed something, that I should have used a different medication, perhaps caught the V-fib quicker. 'Shouldn't have used the defibrillator....'
I felt my eyes began to fill with moisture as the sound of Mrs. Riley's pain filled voice echoed in my mind. “Oh God! No not my baby! NO!”...
I put my elbows on my knees and lowered my face into my hands, as I felt the tears leak down my face.
So completely immersed in my misery, I failed to hear anyone approach.
“Fancy meeting you here.” said a woman's voice in front of me.
Confused, I lifted my head out of my hands and squinted up at the person who spoke. The lights in the sitting area and around the gazebo still had not come on and I was having trouble making out details.
Rising to my feet, I stepped closer to the figure. As her features became clearer, something in the back of my mind ticked. She looked familiar...
Then she said, “I was wondering if you could help me with those directions now Rachel.”
With those words several things clicked at once. I suddenly realized that I was seeing the woman who had asked for directions on my way to work. 'How did she find me here?'.. Amidst the confusion of my thoughts, one rang out most clearly. 'Wait......I never told her my name'...
Clearing my throat I began, “How did yo......”
When suddenly from behind I was engulfed by one impossibly strong arm that wrapped itself around my shoulders. A split second later before I could react, I felt the sharp sting of a needle in the side of my neck.
I instantly felt my traitorous body react to the drug that had been plunged into my veins. First my mind became fuzzy as my sight began to dim, then I felt my legs give out from underneath me.
Large arms caught me before I collapsed to the ground.
The woman's voice, now distorted and slow sounding said, “Hurry before someone sees us....”
And that's when everything went black.
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A/N Thanks again to everyone that takes the time to read! I really do appreciate the reviews and ratings guys..it makes writing every chapter so much easier. I love to hear what you think about my story, so please share your thoughts with me :)
Dani