Ennui

Seth returned to his apartment the next night. He still felt raw, afraid. While he wasn’t sure he could trust himself, he was sure of Li. Before he left Li’s, he allowed himself the luxury of a long, slow kiss. Li’s hands had roamed his back, held him close, eased his insecurities without pushing farther than he was ready to go.

After showering and dressing, he went onto the roof. He sat on the wall edging it, one foot on the wall, his arms around his leg, his chin on his knee, thinking.

“Are you happy, Petru?” a voice he hadn’t ever expected to hear again asked from the shadows.

Seth jumped. “Dinu?” he asked, the name strangled with surprise. “What…?”

“Jonas now,” he corrected.

“Then call me by my name now,” Seth challenged, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “What are you doing here?”

“Checking on you, Seth.” Jonas stepped out of the shadows. He towered over Seth without trying. He was dressed in a grey polo shirt and black slacks, his hair slicked back away from his face. He smiled, the expression laced with irony. “You were my responsibility for a long time, after all.”

“I’m not now,” Seth growled out. “I don’t need you checking on me, Jonas.” His mind insisted on bringing up Li. Li had known one of them, had fed one of them before. “Why now?” he demanded, his mind drawing conclusions he had no proof for.

“I was passing through town and decided to look you up,” Jonas replied evenly.

Seth reverted back to his first language to order, “Don’t lie to me, Constantin.”

Jonas pulled a face and bowed. He answered in the same language when he spoke. “I was in town. That is not a lie.” He smirked. “You are protecting something, aren’t you?” He took a step forward. “Or should I say someone?”

“Leave,” Seth ordered.

“Still hiding, are you?” Jonas asked, stepping closer to Seth. “Still trying to push people away from you?”

The door to the stair well opened and Li came out onto the roof. “Seth, I…” His voice trailed off as he saw the two men bristling at each other.

“Who are you?” Jonas demanded

“What?” Seth snapped at the same time.

Li looked between the two of them, his face a mixture of confusion and pain. “I’ll see you later,” he mumbled, turning back toward the stairs.

“Li, wait,” Seth called out, running across the roof to him. “Please,” he whispered as he touched Li’s arm.

Li looked over Seth’s head to Jonas. “What’s going on?”

Seth looked uncomfortable as he answered, “This is my old tutor. I told you about him.”

Jonas shook his head once, his lips a thin line. He took a step forward then smiled. “Li, is it?” He held out his hand, “Pleasure, I’m Jonas.”

“Why are you here?” Li asked, not moving to take Jonas’s hand.

“I was in town and wanted to see how Seth was doing.” Jonas’s smile faltered.

Li wrapped his arm around Seth’s waist. “He’s fine.” He glared at Jonas, pulling Seth closer to his body.

“Li?” Seth asked softly.

With obvious effort, Li turned to Seth. “He was the one I told you about, too.”

Seth’s body stilled against Li’s. His expression grew closed, anger beginning to fill his eyes.

“I won’t lie to you,” Li said. “And, I won’t give you up.”

“It would have been easier had you denied knowing me, Li,” Jonas said, a touch of laughter in his voice.

“I won't lie,” Li repeated, turning a glare on Jonas. “Why are you here?”

Jonas smirked. “I've answered that.”

“Why were you in town, then?” Li demanded, his arm still possessively holding Seth to him. Though they'd been lovers, something about Jonas frightened him this time. He wasn't sure what it was, but he wasn't going to give up what he had with Seth.

“To reclaim what is mine,” Jonas said lightly.

Li tightened his arm around Seth even more. “There's nothing of yours here.”

“Oh?” he chuckled. “Seth, have you claimed him?”

Seth turned so his back was against Li's body, but he didn't move away from the other man. “Not yet,” he admitted, feeling uncomfortable with it.

“Then, he is still mine.” Jonas smiled and took a step forward.

Li stepped back, pulling Seth with him. “I am not yours,” he said, though something inside him shook with fear that Jonas did have some kind of claim on him.

“No. You cannot have him. He will be mine,” Seth said, wrapping his hands around Li's arm.

Jonas closed the distance between them. “'Will be' isn't good enough, Seth, you know that.” He put his hand on Li's arm.

“Let go of me,” Li growled out. He knew that he wasn't strong enough to pull away from Jonas if Jonas was intent on holding on to him.

“Don't you miss what we had, Li?” Jonas asked, his voice soothing, as if he were talking to a child.

“At first I did,” Li admitted. “But not now. Now, I want what Seth and I are working on, not someone who will leave me again when he gets bored.”

Jonas reached for Li's cheek and Li flinched away from him. He frowned, turning to Seth. “You said you hadn't claimed him?”

Seth grimaced. “He is stubborn.”

Jonas's frown deepened. “He wasn't,” he said.

“I'll remind you that you left me five years ago,” Li pointed out. “I dealt with it, moved on. I don't know what kind of claim you think you have on me, but whatever it is, it expired when you left.”

“And him?” Jonas demanded, pointing at Seth.

“I am very happy with what we're developing. And just what that is and how far we've gone is none of your fucking business, to put it politely.” He tightened his hold on Seth though he could feel his arms shaking as he did.

“You can leave, Jonas,” Seth added, his voice cold.

Anger contorted Jonas's features. “He's mine.”

“No, I'm not!” Li yelled back. The shaking spread through out his body and he tried to channel his rising panic into anger.

“You have to listen to him,” Seth added, his voice mocking.

Jonas turned his glare on Seth. “And, are you going to claim him?”

“I'm his,” Li said before Seth could answer.

“Are you, now?” Jonas demanded, his voice growing cold. “So, he's fucked you, then?”

“That's none of your business,” Li retorted, backing away with his arms around Seth.

Jonas continued advancing on them. “Are you so sure of that?” He pressed until Li was forced to stop by the wall behind his knees. “What makes you so sure? You were mine.”

Li shook his head. “You said it was only ever a relationship of convenience. You never loved me. I don't belong to you. Not then, not now.”

Jonas smirked. “Then, why are you afraid? Why won't you stand your ground?”

Seth stepped away from Li's embrace. He placed both hands on Jonas's chest and pushed the man back. “You will not be told again. Leave.”

Jonas grabbed Seth's head in his palm, glaring down at him. “And will you make me, child?”

Li gripped Jonas's wrist. “Let him go.” He fought his desire to run and tried to minimize his trebling. Jonas was taller than him, much taller than Seth, and outweighed him. He remembered helping Jonas lift weights and knew the man could bench press almost twice what Li weighed.

“And you're going to make me?” Jonas growled.

Li squeezed Jonas's wrist, his fingers digging around for the tendon, pressing on it as hard as he could. “I will ask you once more to leave us alone.”

“And when that fails, little boy?” Jonas seemed to loom over Li even more than he had just seconds before.

Li drew himself up to his full height, lifting his chin. “If you insist on being an ass, then I'll have to hand it to you, won't I?”

Jonas laughed suddenly. “Like you could.” He spread his fingers, releasing Seth's head. “You're that serious?” he asked, still laughing

Li threw Jonas's hand away from him. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“What are you doing Jonas?” Seth demanded.

Jonas backed up, his hands going into his pockets. “Testing you two, of course.” He laughed. “I'll be going, then.” He started to turn toward the stairwell.

Seth grabbed his arm and pulled him around, his other fist slamming into Jonas's stomach.

Jonas bent over, glaring at Seth. “What?” he gasped, his voice breathless.

“You're a bastard,” Seth growled.

Jonas grinned and answered in their mother tongue. “Probably, but he really loves you, Petru. And, I think you love him, too.”

Seth took a step back, his expression shocked. He turned around quickly when he felt arms go around him. Li held him, his eyes focused on Jonas.

“Leave,” Li ordered, not understanding Jonas's comments.

Jonas laughed, turning to the stairwell again. “I'll be sure to call ahead next time.” The door slammed behind him, closing on his laughter.

Li sank to sit on the wall, his entire body trembling violently. He let go of Seth to wrap his arms around himself. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier,” he said, his voice catching in his throat.

Seth wrapped his arms around Li, holding Li's head to his stomach. He let his fingers stroke Li's hair, finding it coarser than he expected. His mind was still reeling from what Jonas had told him and he didn't verbally respond to Li's apology. He just held him and combed his hair.

As Seth held him, Li relaxed, his shaking easing until it stopped. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Seth lifted Li's chin and kissed him tenderly. “Thank you,” he whispered and kissed Li again, longer and deeper. He let his fingers trace Li's neck, following the pulsing line of his veins, the ridged firmness of his windpipe, the lines of the muscles. He felt all of these working to get closer to him. He was very aware of Li's hands fisting in his shirt, could feel the new tremors as Li fought not to pull him closer.

He wanted to continue, to invite Li to his room, to fully know this man who loved him, but he was still afraid. He wanted to feed again, as well. Instead, he broke their kiss and whispered, “Li.” He held the other’s face between both his hands. “Li,” he whispered again.

“Anything you need,” Li offered, his eyes closed.

Seth opened his mouth to ask Li to tell him how he felt and closed it again. He wasn’t ready to hear it. “Hold me,” he whispered.

Li stood up and wrapped his arms around Seth. When Seth’s head came to rest on his shoulder, he laid his cheek against it. “I am forgiven?” he whispered.

“Yes,” Seth sighed. He allowed himself to relax. Oddly, he didn’t feel trapped being held so closely. He squeezed his arms around Li’s waist. “Yes.”

Li sighed. “Good.”