A Day's Gamble
folder
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
10
Views:
14,148
Reviews:
8
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
10
Views:
14,148
Reviews:
8
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Chapter 9
9.
Tubes, lights burning his eyes. My head switching back and forth. Pain searing across my chest. There’s a line of tension running through my center. I just wants to let go. Release and be free. Then, there’s the image of all that I will leave behind.
So many things left unfinished. My family alone makes me want to stay.
I’ve made a choice even if I’m cold and tired.
I made a choice.
There’s a reason I hated swimming. The reasons came down to control issues. Having waves wash over me, swatting me down against my will was too much for me. I was surrounded by them. My body fighting against the current, swimming strong and upward, but I couldn’t reach the surface. The higher I went, the harder it was to push against the surface, like plastic, there was a lid preventing me from escaping.
I had to get out. Escape. Return to the only place I belonged.
My fist pushed through the surface and I could breathe again.
There’s nothing, but white at every turn of my vision. Shining, sparkling white that gradually dulls and peeled at the edges. Other colors began to infuse my plane of vision; colors which formed shapes and objects I could recognize. The whiteness was retreating as I took more breaths. My lungs felt starved. Pain was present in each inhale, but it was worth it.
When the last spot of white faded with black dots trailing behind it, I turned my head and began to look around the room. I could tell it was a hospital. Something moved across my hand, and I looked down to find Nico’s tanned one stretched over mine.
“Baby.” I whispered. His head jerked up, and I could see all the pain and worry ease in his red eyes.
“My God, Edwin…”He leaned across my body and hugged me. His lips felt like balm to my dry lips.
My chest burned and my breath seemed to escape. “I’m so sorry, baby….This was supposed to be the last time.” I’m stuttering, gasping, the most horrendous sounds were coming out of my mouth. He clutched my hand tighter.
“Edwin--”Nico caressed my face. I could see the sheen of tears in his eyes. Again, it was me who put them there. Just another round of pain and bullshit. He starred at me like I should be a ghost. Ray-Ray and Dickey were dead. That was for sure. My two best friends since I was a little shorty were no longer here. That hurt. The idea of Nico grieving for me, killed.
I couldn’t fight the need to apologize. All day, I had been angry or sad. Now, I only wanted to be forgiven. “I’m so sorry.”My face was cold and wet, that’s when I realized I was crying. “I was…thinking….all day. I decided to stop…for you and the kids.” This was supposed to be the last time. I wanted Nicolo to know that.
He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. Tear poured freely from him chocolate eyes, now awash in a sea of pink. On the back of my fingers, I caught a few teardrops. “Was picking the babies up from Ms. Vee’s when I heard the shots….Something told me--” He swallowed thickly, trying to get himself calm. “—That it was you.”
Nico whispered, “Baby.” And dropped his head into the crook of my neck. I put my other hand on his shoulder.
My fingers dug into his shoulder—clutched him to keep him near. “I fucked up, baby. I really did.” Warm air blew across my face as he sshhed me. “ I love you so much.”
Those soft pink lips felt like water to the arid plains of my face and lips. Kissing him made me lightheaded and not in a good way. “I promise you. As soon as I’m out of here, we go…I been saving all that money, just waiting until we had enough. If you can forgive me, Nico. Then, we can go…take Lil’ Man and Princess and move out of here. We can leave the City, get a house…whatever you want. Please…just forgive me.”
The room was quiet except for the wheeze of the air being forced into my nose and the light beeping from the other patients’ rooms. There a second where I thought God had spared me just so he could kill me right now, have Nicolo reject me and subject me to a pain that was far greater than any gunshots. His tears began anew. My stomach sank, churning, and feeling a thousand pounds and tender. It hurt to breath. It hurt even more to wait.
He kissed my forehead lightly, allowing his lips to graze over the side of my face before he pulled away. Eye to eye, those distressed chocolate irises melted into a soft brown. “I can forgive you.”
I’m breathing again when I really shouldn’t be.
“If you ever do something like that when we’re over for good and you’ll be all alone to deal with your mess.”
I squeezed his hand and said, “I know.”
TBC
Tubes, lights burning his eyes. My head switching back and forth. Pain searing across my chest. There’s a line of tension running through my center. I just wants to let go. Release and be free. Then, there’s the image of all that I will leave behind.
So many things left unfinished. My family alone makes me want to stay.
I’ve made a choice even if I’m cold and tired.
I made a choice.
There’s a reason I hated swimming. The reasons came down to control issues. Having waves wash over me, swatting me down against my will was too much for me. I was surrounded by them. My body fighting against the current, swimming strong and upward, but I couldn’t reach the surface. The higher I went, the harder it was to push against the surface, like plastic, there was a lid preventing me from escaping.
I had to get out. Escape. Return to the only place I belonged.
My fist pushed through the surface and I could breathe again.
There’s nothing, but white at every turn of my vision. Shining, sparkling white that gradually dulls and peeled at the edges. Other colors began to infuse my plane of vision; colors which formed shapes and objects I could recognize. The whiteness was retreating as I took more breaths. My lungs felt starved. Pain was present in each inhale, but it was worth it.
When the last spot of white faded with black dots trailing behind it, I turned my head and began to look around the room. I could tell it was a hospital. Something moved across my hand, and I looked down to find Nico’s tanned one stretched over mine.
“Baby.” I whispered. His head jerked up, and I could see all the pain and worry ease in his red eyes.
“My God, Edwin…”He leaned across my body and hugged me. His lips felt like balm to my dry lips.
My chest burned and my breath seemed to escape. “I’m so sorry, baby….This was supposed to be the last time.” I’m stuttering, gasping, the most horrendous sounds were coming out of my mouth. He clutched my hand tighter.
“Edwin--”Nico caressed my face. I could see the sheen of tears in his eyes. Again, it was me who put them there. Just another round of pain and bullshit. He starred at me like I should be a ghost. Ray-Ray and Dickey were dead. That was for sure. My two best friends since I was a little shorty were no longer here. That hurt. The idea of Nico grieving for me, killed.
I couldn’t fight the need to apologize. All day, I had been angry or sad. Now, I only wanted to be forgiven. “I’m so sorry.”My face was cold and wet, that’s when I realized I was crying. “I was…thinking….all day. I decided to stop…for you and the kids.” This was supposed to be the last time. I wanted Nicolo to know that.
He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. Tear poured freely from him chocolate eyes, now awash in a sea of pink. On the back of my fingers, I caught a few teardrops. “Was picking the babies up from Ms. Vee’s when I heard the shots….Something told me--” He swallowed thickly, trying to get himself calm. “—That it was you.”
Nico whispered, “Baby.” And dropped his head into the crook of my neck. I put my other hand on his shoulder.
My fingers dug into his shoulder—clutched him to keep him near. “I fucked up, baby. I really did.” Warm air blew across my face as he sshhed me. “ I love you so much.”
Those soft pink lips felt like water to the arid plains of my face and lips. Kissing him made me lightheaded and not in a good way. “I promise you. As soon as I’m out of here, we go…I been saving all that money, just waiting until we had enough. If you can forgive me, Nico. Then, we can go…take Lil’ Man and Princess and move out of here. We can leave the City, get a house…whatever you want. Please…just forgive me.”
The room was quiet except for the wheeze of the air being forced into my nose and the light beeping from the other patients’ rooms. There a second where I thought God had spared me just so he could kill me right now, have Nicolo reject me and subject me to a pain that was far greater than any gunshots. His tears began anew. My stomach sank, churning, and feeling a thousand pounds and tender. It hurt to breath. It hurt even more to wait.
He kissed my forehead lightly, allowing his lips to graze over the side of my face before he pulled away. Eye to eye, those distressed chocolate irises melted into a soft brown. “I can forgive you.”
I’m breathing again when I really shouldn’t be.
“If you ever do something like that when we’re over for good and you’ll be all alone to deal with your mess.”
I squeezed his hand and said, “I know.”
TBC