My dark lover, a bizarre magician and stone killer

Pissin certainly had absolutely no intention of ever going back on
his oath to stay sober. However, that was before he slipped quietly
into the bustling resort town of Moboggin. There were several hot
springs in the area and that drew plenty of tourists. Pissin went in
alone to steal some fresh supplies. It was generally agreed that he
was the best thief in the little group although V certainly came in
a very close second. Still, Pissin had some wicked magic skills to
help him out of any jam so he got elected for the job.

As the young swordsman walked the streets it didn't seem that he'd
encounter much trouble lifting a purse or two in this crowded place.
The problem was more fundamental than that. Every other merchant was
selling liqour...wine, beer, whiskey, you name it. It didn't help
that everyone on the streets had breath reeking with alcohol. Still,
Pissin held his addiction in check. Then came the rain. A sudden
black cloud blew up and a hard downpour was obviously impending within
a few seconds. Pissin did not want to get wet so he ducked into the
first shelter he could reach. Unfortunately it was the best bar in
town. It took all his willpower to not order a drink immediately. On
the other hand he saw no problem in watching the dancing girls do their
thing for awhile, at least until the storm blew over.

The rain let up about three hours later and the dark clouds went on
their way. Pissin stumbled like a crazy man as he exited the bar.
The makeshift sidewalk consisting of muddy boards was slippery as hell.
It would have been a challenge to navigate for someone stone sober.
Pissin had no chance. He went flying headlong and crashed his face
into a hitching post. Valiantly the boy did his best to raise himself
but his head began spinning wildly. Then everything faded to black
and wet.

Pissin woke to find himself in a very dark place, a dark and strange
place. There was a little light but it seemed far away. "Where the
fuck am I?" Pissin asked, hardly expecting anyone to answer.

"You're in jail."

Pissin squinted in the direction of the voice. An eldery, quite
emaciated man sat on the bench directly opposite of the swordsman. He
didn't look at Pissin but stared dreamily at the moon through the one
tiny window high in the cell. "Who are you, and why am I here?" Pissin
asked.

"My name is Jeremiah and the guard brought us both here for the same
reasons...public drunkeness, vagrancy, and disordery conduct. I'm no
lawyer but I believe those were the charges. Of course I might have
been wrong, being a bit tipsy at the time. And what are you called my
friend, I assume you are a tourist?"

Pissin groaned as he struggled to sit up; how he could have slept on
this damnably hard bench was a mystery. "My name is Pissin...and I
guess I'm a tourist...sorta."

"Glad to meet you Mr. Pissin. You may as well go back to sleep. It
won't be morning for a few more hours and then we'll find out what
they're going to do with us. Nothing to do 'till then other than wait."

Pissin tried to get up and stretch but his knees failed him and he
collapsed onto the straw covered stones that served as the floor of
the cell. The skinny old man tried to help him get up but Pissin just
waved him off. "I think I'll just lay here for awhile until I can get
my shit together. Actually, its a helluva lot more comfortable than
that torture rack they got the stones to call a bench."

"Suit yourself youngster," the old man declared before returning his
gaze to the moon. He could have saved his breath because the dark clad
swordsman was already snoring.

Early the next morning Pissin was rudely awakened by a loud obnoxious
voice demanding that he get his worthless ass up and stand at the front
of the cell. One of the men looked to be a page of some sort and the
other was likely some lowly official. He wore cheap armor and a dirty
tunic with a fancy looking coat of arms sewn onto the front. "Listen
closely prisoners Jeremiah Nin and Stranger. On behalf of the most
honorable mayor of the city of Moboggin I will now read your sentences."

"Sentences?" Pissin interrupted sourly. "Don't we get to see a judge
or somethin' first?"

The page swung a club that crashed hard against the bars of the cell.
The noise nearly made Pissin's head explode. It would have gone only
a little worse had the crudgel struck him directly. "Shut the fuck
up you pathetic assholes!" the page shouted, sending another wave
of nausea through Pissin's aching body. "You will not speak unless a
question is addressed specifically towards your filthy selves."

Pissin held his tongue but behind his glasses his eyes were daggers.

The official cleared his throat and continued. "Jeremiah Nin and idiot
Stranger...the charges against you are public drunkeness and disordery
conduct. In addition Jeremiah Nin faces a charge of lewd conduct and
idiot Stranger faces an additional charge of breaking a perfectly good
hitching post. The sentences imposed for these offenses committed
against the good citizens of Moboggin are as follows."

The man cleared his throat again, "Jeremiah Nin, you are hereby sen-
tenced to three days in jail. This does not include meals...do you
have any money on you?"

The old man fumbled in all his pockets and discovered three or four
copper coins. He put his hand through the cell bars and dropped the
money into the greasy palm of the jail officer. "This isn't very much,
however I suppose it will buy you a small bowl of soup once a day until
you're to go free."

Jeremiah scratched his chin with dirty fingers. "How about one flagon
on cheap beer instead?"

"Done Jeremiah Nin...one flagon of beer it is."

"As for you Stranger...and what was your name by the way?"

"Joe Smith," Pissin growled.

"Very well Mr Smith, you have been sentenced to 120 days of hard labor
in one of the nearby mines. Your transportation will arrive within
an hour or two. Good day to you both." Both men wheeled about and
marched immediately down a long corridor and soon disappeared from
sight. All the while Pissin was shouting indignantly that his sentence
was a complete outrage. Jeremiah slumped back down on his bench and
waited patiently while his cellmate spent his rage. "Its no use my
young friend, they're long gone."

Pissin stomped about the cell pondering what horrible spell he could
conjur that would turn half the town into a pile of ash. Suddenly he
realised that some strange medallion was hanging about his neck. He
tried to pull it off to examine the object closer but it was much to
small. Oddly, the thing appeared to have no clasp that might loosen it
either. "What the fuck it this damn piece of shit...who put it around
my neck and why won't it come off...damn it!"

"Oh, that's really nothing," Jeremiah yawned. "Its only a talisman
that prevents you from using magic to escape. A couple of years back
they arrested some wizard and he leveled a large section of the jail
before turning three of the jailers into baboons. I suppose its a pre-
caution thats necessary considering all the wizardry being practiced
nowadays."

"Well that really sucks," Pissin mumbled.

Jeremiah raised an eybrow and stopped looking out the window, instead
he focused on his fellow prisoner. "Are you a wizard?"

"Oh no," the young swordsman quickly stammered. "I just hate any kind
of jewelry...that stuff's for homos."

"Well, its a good thing you're not. The penalty for witchcraft in
these parts is a quick burning at the stake. Nasty way to go that,
but memorable."

Pissin shrugged, maybe he should be thankful he was still alive when
all the circumstances were considered. Still, he had to get the fuck
out of Moboggin because Rita would kill him if he delayed much longer.
The girl was probably already thinking he'd gotten himself wasted, and
she'd be right.

"This is some fucked up shit," Pissin groaned. "What I don't under-
stand is why did I get such a long ass sentence and you got only three
freakin' days. Could somebody please explain that one to me?"

"Well, a shrivled up old drunk like me wouldn't last two days in the
mines...I'm sorry to say that you're headed for hell my poor friend.
They know I'm no good for work anymore. On the other hand you're good
and strong and plenty young. You see, they can't find anyone stupid
enough to want to work the mines, especially when they're so many
dumbass tourists around here to fleece. So, they use forced labor
to dig their precious ore out of the ground for them. You're lucky
that nobody picked a fight with you last night. Had you been in a
brawl they would have given you a year down there. And that could be
a death sentence...no matter how young and tough you are. I did a
year in the mines myself once, that has a lot to do with the sorry
shape that I find myself in today. They stole my health and manhood
down there in those hellish pits. A curse on them all I say!"

Jeremiah finished his little speech and turned back towards the window.
Pissin sat down and considered his options. Mostly he considered the
fact that he had none. "If I ever do get out of here Rita is gonna
strangle me to death with her own two hands...shit."


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A very visibly frustrated Rita finally threw up hands up, "well, its
obvious he isn't coming back."

"Something must have happened to him," Dupagi offered meekly.

"Duh," Rita replied.

V lay nearby in the shade with his eyes closed and his hands clasped
behind his head. "Oh, he's most likely just sleeping off a drunk.
I'd wager he'll show up soon with some idiotic excuse for acting like
an irresponsible wino."

Rita had a bad feeling. V was most likely right, or at least partially
right. That jerk Pissin might have gotten wasted last night. This
thought hurt her a lot more that she'd ever let on. He had seemed so
sincere about sobering up. Maybe she just expected more from the boy
that he was able to deliver. Rita began to feel angry at herself.
"Same dumb old Rita," she thought to herself. "Taken in by a good
looking, but otherwise worthless man." The girl looked up into the
top of a tall oak and wondered if things would ever change. Perhaps
the better question she wanted to ask was whether SHE could change.

"I think we should go down there and look for him," Dupagi said. "I
mean sure we're fugitives and all that, but there is a lot of people
coming and going down there...and they're sure making a lot of noise
too. I don't see the harm in us going for a little look see?"

V's attention had been piqued as well. "I know I could use a good
strong drink, and an hour's roll with a comely wench would serve right
nicely to soothe some of the stiffness all this riding has given me."

Rita shoot the handsome V a wicked look. "If we go down there its to
look for your brother...not to look for some slut that'll suck your
dick for free. I'm assuming you have no money...right?"

V ignored the pretty girl's indignation. "It's not all my fault you
know, being around you beautiful women tends to bring out the beast in
me...I'm only human after all."

Dupagi winked at the boy, "poor V."

V continued, "don't worry about money. I have certain skills. I think
we could all use a nice hot meal...maybe even a nice soft bed for the
night? What say you Rita?"

"I say let's do it...but we're going down there to find Pissin, or at
least find out what happened to him. As for your "beast", I'd prefer
you keep it in your pants. Any "beasts" running amok down there will
likely only get us in deeper shit than we're already in."

"His idea about the soft bed wasn't such a terrible one," Dupagi
whined as she stood up and massaged her tender little backside.

V couldn't help but take one more jab, "we really only need one, a big
one that we could all share."

Rita glared at the boy with murder flashing in her bright green eyes.

"I meant to say we could take turns, you know, sleep in shifts," V
quickly added...faking a put out look. Despite herself Rita gave him
a slight smile. Then she quickly looked away. She had about decided
to ditch V altogether, but she couldn't quite do that little thing.
She busied herself with gathering a few things to take along to Mo-
boggin. Rita hoped like hell her decisons weren't being clouded by
the simple fact that V...was so damned nice looking. "Ah shit," she
mumbled to herself in frustration. She was enduring way to damned
much frustration lately. If only Pissin were here. Somehow it would
all make sense again...maybe.

Rita put her toughest face on for her companions are they prepared to
enter town. "We are not going to do any drinking or stealing until we
find out what happened to Pissin. And then we'll be on our way. I
did not come here looking for trouble. Obviously Pissin already found
it, which doesn't exactly surprise me." Dupagi and V gave each other
a look as soon as Rita turned her back. V rolled his eyes and the girl
giggled, though not loud enough for Rita to hear. However Rita did
hear and scowled. "Ok, dumbasses, let's roll."

"The first thing we're gonna do is look in all the bars. And that just
might take a while. So, I guess we're gonna have to split up to get it
done. And keep in mind I said look in the bars, not sample their
products."

With those instructions given, the three friends rented a stable with
the very last of their money. No way they could afford to leave the
animals tethered out in the street. Moboggin wasn't huge but it wasn't
exactly small either. It didn't help that the place was crowded with
people partying, shopping, or simply milling about stupidly. This was
probably not going to be very simple.

"Typical tourist trap," Rita muttered to herself. After two solid
hours of walking about and peeping into bars, she remained clueless
about Pissin. Despite the throbbing in her feet she wasn't about to
give up. Her giving up easily days were long behind her. On the other
hand, her confidence in finding her friend was not exactly growing.
Quite the contrary, Rita already mused about the consequences of moving
on without him. It would be a damned dangerous trek for only her and
Dupagi. And V? Well, she was far from sure if he could even be trust-
ed. And he was being chased by a murderous vampire fiend for cryin'
out loud! Rita fought back he urge to tear up. If only she could find
Pissin. For the very first time the girl realised how much she truly
needed him. And it wasn't all about the protection he provided. Far
from it.

Eventually Rita did give up; she went to the stables to wait for the
others and hopefully some good news. However, deep inside she wasn't
feeling optimistic. V was the first to show up. He looked as exhaust-
ed as Rita. His normally jaunty demeanor had been replaced by a very
worried look. "I don't like this," he said.

"No luck huh? Me neither, nobody ever heard of Pissin apparently."

"It's not just that," V continued. "I've always had a special gift
about Pissin. I can always sense where he is. Sometimes the ability
comes and goes a bit but its always accurate when I got it. Before we
came to town I wasn't really that worried. I just knew that he was
down here somewhere, most likely passed out behind some bar. However,
now that we're here I feel oddly different...like he's here but at the
same time isn't here. I don't really get it to tell the truth. I
do know that I'm tired and damned thirsty though...shit."

"Maybe, he isn't right here in town but nearby?" Rita offered.

"Could be, I'm just not sure...its like something is interfering with
that magical connection the two of us have. I still feel it but its
really vague now, like a ghost of what it was...you know?"

"Sorry, I can't relate that well to magic...never been my thing, sorry.
" Rita replied with a helpless shrug. Both of them fell silent and
remained that way for a long time. They had their heads down and didn't
really notice Dupagi until the girl was right on top of them. She
looked sweaty but excited. Her face was beaming.

"So there you are, finally," Rita said.

"Have you guys found Pissin? I'm guessing no." Dupagi asked.

Rita and V solemnly shook their heads.

"Well I haven't found him either and to tell you the honest truth, I've
looked in onlh a couple of places. Still I have great news." Dupagi's
tone was earnest and excited. She held out her hand. To the shock of
her friends there were three pieces of silver in her palm.

"Look guys! Its real. We're gonna be able to eat, drink, pay for
the care of our horses, and sleep in real beds tonight. And there's
more where I got this."

Rita was naturally pessimistic. "Ok Dupagi, how did you get that?
I'm actually afraid to ask but I got to."

Dupagi grinned mischievously with her hands on her hips. "I got a job,
the second bar I went into a nice man hired me on the spot. And I
didn't even have to apply.

"What kind of job pays three large pieces of good silver for a few
hours work?" Rita asked, suspicion all over her face.

V broke out of his funk and laughed. "I think I know where this is
going but let's hear it from the source."

"I landed a job as a stripper," Dupagi announced proudly. "And if you
come to work with me Rita, we'll soon have plenty of money to live on
and take with us when we leave. And in the meantime we can use our
spare time to find out what happened to Pissin, or maybe he'll just
show up while we're at work. Just imagine the look on his face when
he walks in and finds out we've got good honest jobs!"

"Shit," Rita said.