Devil May Love

There was a small bit of dried up egg on the table. Gaibriel focused on it. Anything to keep from looking to his left. If his father caught him looking… Gaibriel went cold with fear and tried to rub away the goosebumps that had formed on his arms.

"Stop that fidgeting," his father barked quietly.

Gaibriel muttered an apology.

Jullien had gotten up. Gaibriel could just see him out of the corner of his eye. The blonde hair was attention catching and he couldn't help but pay attention to it. He discreetly watched as Jullien made his way to the bathroom. He wondered if Jullien had meant for him to follow… Jullien had been looking directly into his eyes and he had stayed that way until Gaibriel's fear forced him to look away. Jullien had obviously been calling to him.

He decided to follow. He didn't think his father would try anything in a public place, especially with so many people around that went to church with them. And if he walked in, Gaibriel could pretend to be asking for a paper towel or something.

Gaibriel cleared his throat quietly to get his father's attention. "May I be excused, please," he asked.

"For what?"

"I need to use the bathroom."

"Oh. Go on. And hurry up. We won't be waiting for you."

"Yes sir." Gaibriel was sliding out of the booth before he'd even finished his reply. He tried to make himself walk slowly. If his father caught on that anything was wrong… Gaibriel felt the cold grip him again and almost turned around. He wasn't sure exactly what it was that kept his feet moving towards the men's restroom, even as his mind yelled for him to turn around. He pushed the door open and stepped inside. There was no one there. Gaibriel squeezed his eyes shut, close to crying and not understanding why.

"Jullien?"

'God, was that me?' Gaibriel's eyes opened again. First his feet, now his mouth… He wondered what else he could loose control of in Jullien's presence.

"Gaibriel?" The stall at the back opened and Jullien emerged.

Gaibriel felt weak in the knees. His dream came to mind and he blushed fiercely. He looked away, unable to keep looking at Jullien.

Jullien moved quickly up to him and wrapped his arms around him in a quick hug. "I never thought I'd see you here," he said. "How are you?"

Gaibriel attempted a smile. "Same." He wanted to scream and run away. At the same time, he wanted to fling himself at Jullien for another hug. He kept as still as a statue instead. "Was that girl Judy?"

"Yeah. That your father and mother?"

"Yeah."

"Did he give you that bruise?"

Jullien's hand slid into his hair, touching the bruise Gaibriel had gotten from hitting the coffee table. He tried to nod, but couldn't. Jullien had pulled the hair away from his neck and was running his fingers lightly over the dark spot on his neck. He felt the tears well up and spill over his cheeks.

"Oh!" Jullien snatched his hand away. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!"

Gaibriel shook his head. "No… no, its not that."

Jullien nodded, looking sad. "I get it…" He ran his knuckles over Gaibriel's cheek, brushing the tears away. "I wish I could help you…" His voice sounded so pleading.

Gaibriel forced another smile. "You already have."

'Turn around, Gaibriel,' he told himself and was amazed when his body followed the order. 'Now go out the door.' He had placed his hand on the handle, when Jullien grabbed his wrist.

"Gaibriel…" Jullien seemed to falter, his words dying in his throat. His hand relaxed its grip on Gaibriel's thin wrist and fell away.

Gaibriel felt his resolve melt away inside him and he finally did fling himself into Jullien's arms. He was crying, almost sobbing and he didn't know why. It confused him. The whole thing confused him. It was Sunday afternoon. They were supposed to be going for lunch after church, like always. Jullien was not supposed to be here. None of this was supposed to happen.

And yet… He was standing there, letting Jullien support most of his weight, sobbing into Jullien's chest. He could hear Jullien whispering quietly to him that it was all right while brushing his hand over Gaibriel's head. So comforting… and at the same time, he felt like each second was ripping him apart. He looked up at Jullien, the beautiful man's face blurry past Gaibriel's tears. 'Kiss me,' he pleaded silently. 'Then disappear and never come back…' He dropped his head back on Jullien's chest.

---

Shit. Judy saw the father stand up and could hear him commenting about how long Gaibriel had been gone. She had to do something. She stood up as well, following him until they were about halfway to the bathroom. Taking a deep breath, she reached out and tapped him on the shoulder. "Sir?"

'Jullien, wrap it up in there,' she pleaded silently.

The man cast a disdainful look at her clothes. "Yes, young lady?"

"I, uh… I was wondering if you could tell me about… Well, its kind of embarrassing." She pretended to be shy, looking down and fidgeting a little. "About God." When she looked back up, he was smiling.

"Of course, young lady."

Good, she had him. Now if only Jullien would hurry the fuck up…

----

Jullien had wrapped his arms around Gaibriel's thin and shaking shoulders. "Shhh," he whispered, nuzzling the top of Gaibriel's head with his cheek. "It's okay, Gaibriel…"

Gaibriel had stopped crying, but his body was still trembling. He had to get control over himself. He pulled away slowly. Jullien's hand slid down his arm, then grasped his hand and squeezed before letting him go completely. "You've got to get back," Jullien stated. "You've got my number and you know where I live. If you cant remember how to get there, call me collect from a pay phone and I'll meet you in the park. Okay?"

Gaibriel nodded. "O-okay." He looked up. He and Jullien were still close. The dream had not done Jullien justice. The man was much more beautiful than that. The desire to kiss him was so strong. Gaibriel felt like he was being pulled towards the blonde man and found it hard to keep his balance. Somehow, he knew he wouldn't be able to leave until it happened.

'Do it," he ordered himself and instantly was up on his tiptoes, his lips meeting with Jullien's. The kiss was quick and he didn't give Jullien time to respond before he'd pulled away again and darted out the door. He wasn't shaking anymore… And he didn't feel quite as out of control.

Judy was standing in the walkway, talking to his father. Gaibriel was confused for a moment. It hadn't dawned on him until he'd passed them that Judy had probably stopped his father from walking in just as he… Gaibriel couldn't even bring himself to think about it now. Not here… not without Jullien.

---

Jullien waited a few moments after Gaibriel had dashed off. He couldn't leave right away. He knew that. And he wondered for a moment if he'd even be able to walk. Gaibriel had stunned him. Jullien was still just standing there, his index and middle finger resting softly on his lips. "He kissed me," he whispered, moving his hand away from his mouth. Things had been pretty predictable up until that point. Jullien didn't know what to think about it. But he did know that if he didn't get back, Judy was going to come looking for him.

Coming around the corner, he spotted Judy talking with Gaibriel's dad and smiled. 'That slick wench,' he thought. Returning to his table, Jullien caught a waitress and asked for some take out boxes. She brought them to him as Judy was returning from her talk. They transferred their food silently, left a tip, paid at the front counter and practically ran back to Jullien's car. Jullien got in the driver's side this time.

"He kissed me!"

"That man is such a dick!"

They spoke at the same time. Judy's mouth fell open and Jullien laughed.

"He did what?"

"You should have known that."

Judy held up her hand. "Okay, you first."

"No, you. My story is longer."

"Good point. He got up and said something about going to check on Gaibriel. So I caught him on the way and told him I wanted to know about God."

Jullien laughed. "You nut!"

"So he blabbed. When I saw you, I told him you were my brother and I had to run so we could get back home. So he gave me his card. He's a preacher, Jules! A child abuser is a preacher!"

Jullien shook his head. "Why am I not shocked?"

"Not important. He kissed you?!"

"Yeah, that I'm shocked about." Jullien told Judy everything that had happened. She listened quietly, hanging on to his every word. When he finished, she looked as confused as he felt.

"I wonder why he did that," she mused. "You know you're going to hear from him soon, right?"

Jullien nodded. "Yeah. And, you know what else is odd? I'm not apprehensive about it, like I was last night."

Judy's expression was unreadable. "Anyway, I wasn't lying to his dad. I really do need to get home. Amanda's got a birthday coming up and we need to go shopping for her."

"Do you still hate him?"

"Who, Amanda?"

"No, you dork! Gaibriel."

"I never said I hated him. Plus, after seeing him, how could you?"

Jullien smiled. "Good enough, I guess," he said, starting the car up. They chatted idly as he drove her home, most of it consisting of Judy telling him about some band or another as they came on the radio. When he stopped by her house, Judy beckoned to him.

"You have to come say hey to Ma. She's worried about you."

Jullien made a face. "Why?"

"Because you haven't been by in so long!" She rolled her eyes. "A little TLC is not going to kill you, Jules. Come on."

Jullien turned the car off, faking a dramatic sigh and got out. In all honesty, he adored Judy's mother. He even called her Ma. She was a sweet heart. And she was already coming out the front door as they walked up the driveway.

She almost always looked the same. She wore khaki pants, and dark blue sweater, and comfortable brown shoes. Her hair was the same auburn red color as Judy, but a little faded and she wore it in a bun at the back of her neck. She was smiling and holding her arms out. "Jullien, honey!"

"Hey, Ma," he said, hugging her tightly and picking her up off the ground a few inches. She laughed heartily and whapped his shoulder.

"Put me down, you big lug." Her smile never faltered. "Judy told me you weren't feeling good," she said once she was on the ground again. She'd taken his hand and was leading him into the house. She led them into the kitchen as Jullien explained what had happened over the past few weeks. She busied herself making them all lemonade and cookies while listening. Jullien was just finishing up as she brought the tray to the table. "He kissed you, huh? I'd say he's got a crush on somebody." She began passing out drinks and cookies.

"Well no joke, Ma," Judy said, stuffing a cookie in her mouth. "And that little cutie ain't the only one with a crush." She dodged the cookie piece Jullien tossed at her.

Ma looked at Jullien with a worried expression. "Are you sure it's safe to pursue him, Jullien? He's a little young."

"I do not have a crush, Ma. Judy's being silly."

"I see."

"I am not! You should see his dopey expression when he talks about Gaibriel."

Ma smiled and winked. "My eyes work well enough for me to see that much."

"Hey," Jullien protested. "What is this? Pick on the Gay Boy Day?"

"More like Point Out the Obvious Day."

Judy got a whole cookie tossed at her this time. She caught it and ate it. They sat, chatting and laughing for about an hour before Jullien decided he really did need to get home and clean his apartment. Getting hugs from all around, Jullien made his way home, feeling more cheerful than he'd felt in a long time.