Always

I wanted to thank all my reviewers. Now for all my seasoned reviewers you probably figure with an up in my story there has to be a down and well you're right. this ch would be the downer. I was aiming for angsty and I think I came off juvenile. I'm really sorry for any mistakes here because it's unbeta'd. And I hope I caught all the breath and breathe in this ch. :) Oh warning! mild violence.

I came to myself after what were surely long, long moments. Tim had maneuvered us under the sheets and I lay wrapped up in his arms. I did wonder briefly what Caleb would do, if he’d come looking for me. I don’t really think I cared. If this was what college parties were like I was definitely looking forward to Victor’s shindig. I awoke to complete darkness in a strange room. At first I was confused searching for the familiar.

"It’s alright baby, go back to sleep. I got you Hannah." Came a gravelly voice from next to me. That’s when it hit me what happened. I fell back bonelessly into the bed staring straight up one hand lazily scratching my chest. That had to be the most awesome time I have ever had during sex. It was so mind blowing I didn’t know how to describe the experience. I carefully reached down between my legs to gently massage my balls. A dreamy smile played on my lips. I could still feel them slapping against his taut abs as he filled me. Now I know what the whole obsession with sex is about cause if it felt this good, I could definitely see myself getting more. Curiosity got the better of me and I reached further to finger myself. It was the first time I ever touched myself like that. I was all sticky and there was a flaky substance around the area. I guess that answered the question of if he used a condom or not. Bringing my mind back to my bed companion, I realized what he had said. He called me Hannah. I frowned a bit as I tried to imagine who she could be to him. I mean I wasn’t jealous, I was not so naive as to believe that one good fuck warranted a relationship or anything. He must have been thinking of her the whole time. Probably like Derek thinks of others as I let him fuck me. I found myself descending into depressing thoughts and nipped it in the bud by getting up. As quietly as possible, I slid across the bed, wincing the whole way. Just leaning down to put on my pants was an ordeal that I don’t think will soon be repeated. I stuffed my underwear in my pocket and put on my shirt as I exited the room. I had to find Caleb fast. I stumbled along the dark hallway trying to feel my way. The whole house was eerily silent until I knocked a picture off the wall. I froze. My eyes widened as the light at the end of the hallway came on and a dark silhouette stood framed in the doorway. The figure approached and I didn’t recognize him until he was practically on top of me. It was Him. Derek. My breath caught in my thought even as my heart rapped a deafening tattoo in the silence.

"Sean?" He stared at me with a faint frown. I stared at him, his bare chest starkly highlighted by the light. I knew I needed to be over this but the sight of him so close was not helping. His soft locks partly obscured one eye and his boxers left little to the imagination.

"What are you doing here?" I mumbled lowering my eyes. If I just don’t look at him maybe—

"I live here. What are you doing here?" My head shot up at that to meet his piercing green eyes.

"I...I..was invited for a party." I stuttered backing up as he drew closer.

"The party was over hours ago. What are you still doing here?" He leaned in close loudly sniffing me. His lips turned down in a frown. I was getting scared. I felt myself trembling as I was very aware of how alone I was with him.

"I...I...was looking for my brother."

"I don’t believe you. You fucking smell like sex. What the fuck were you doing?"He gritted through clenched teeth. He didn’t yell. He didn’t shout or scream. He just got real soft and deadly. I’d never seen him like this. He raised one hand to my neck his thumb menacingly stroking my throat. "Tell me now." I gulped. Silence is probably the best tact now. "Were you fucking around?" He enunciated each word slowly as his hand slowly squeezed. I nodded quickly beginning to feel light headed. He let go abruptly sending his fist into the wall by my head. "You fucking whore! I knew it. All that shit about Justynee, you just wanted to fuck around." He was talking so low and fast I could feel the spittle hit my face. His hands were bunched in fists itching for action. Even as the thought entered my mind, he punched me in the gut. It was the worst feeling ever, half nausea half pain. I doubled over wordlessly. He shoved me upright with his other hand and back handed me. I couldn’t breathe through the pain exploding through my body. I quivered in shame as I felt tears run down my cheeks. I am so weak cowering before him like this.

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry." I blubbered through swollen lips. I didn’t know what I was sorry for but I knew I wanted this to end. He reached for my face and I flinched nearly knocking myself out on the wall.

"You are sorry. How many?" At first I couldn’t think what he was asking me for the pain throbbing in my head. "I said how fucking many?!" His fist tightened in my shirt. I frantically clawed at his hands trying to break free.

"Just one. Please let me go." He leaned in and licked a tear from my cheek.

"Don’t cry. You know I don’t want to hurt you, but you make me so mad some times. I wanted to give you time. Then I find you here whoring yourself for anyone with a dick. You screwed up." He reached for my chin and turned my head to face him. He gripped my hair in his fist and tugged it hard, forcing my head to tilt back. He kissed me, his mouth coming down over mine hard and furious, his tongue plunging within and ravaging me. Fucking my mouth with his tongue, he drove it deep inside the recesses of my mouth as if it were a cock.

His free hand clenched my ass, pulling me against his erection. I gasped into his mouth, shocked at the moans that spilled from my lips. I didn’t want this. I tore my mouth away from his, pushed hard against his chest and leaned back, wiping the back of my hand across my lips. I didn’t know if he was going to fuck me there in the hallway or continue to pummel me. "Please, Derek, don’t hurt me. Why? Why are you doing this?" I sobbed.

"Shut up." Slap! "If I find your little sniveling lover, I will kill him. I will make your life a living hell. Do you understand me?" He growled losing all patience with me. I don’t understand how he can make my life any more of a living hell than he already has. I nodded slowly. "I expect to see you on Monday, same place." With that he left me there shaking in the dark hallway. Once the light went out I collapsed to the floor in a sobbing mess. I couldn’t stop the shaking. It hurt to move, it fucking hurt to breath and I couldn’t stop shaking. All I wanted right then was to find Caleb. I wanted to get out of this house. I don’t know how long I sat there in the dark before I heard Caleb’s voice.

"Sean? Sean, is that you?"

"Caleb?" I whimpered, hugging my arms to myself.

"God! Sean what happened? What’s wrong, baby?" Caleb rushed to my side concern evident in his wide blue eyes. They always turned more blue than green when he was troubled. It pained me to have put that look there again. "Talk to me Sean. Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere." I whined clutching at his shirt. I tried to bury my face in his chest. "Please, get me out of here." I hiccupped trying in vain to quell the painful shivers.

"Alright. Calm down, we’re going home." He soothed assaying a reassuring smile. He tucked me into his side and bundled me out to the car. We didn’t meet any of the other party goers on our way out. On the drive home, Caleb kept throwing me worried glances. I had stopped crying and just sat staring out the window. Nothing particular was on my mind. I kind of just blanked out. We didn’t speak until we got to our room. The rest of the house was sleeping. I sat on my bed at a loss as to how I should proceed. My vacant stare drawing Caleb to my side. I leaned into him just breathing his scent. I could pick up the faint whiff of perfume. It must have belonged to the boob girl.

"Sean did one of the guys hurt you?" He whispered against my hair. One hand was rubbing soothing circles on my arm.

"No. It was nothing. I just got scared when I couldn’t find you is all." I lied. I couldn’t tell him. He wouldn’t understand. He always stood up for himself no one would be able to push him around the way Derek did me. He will be gone soon and I will be alone again.

"Aww, Sean! You don’t ever have to be scared of not finding me. I will always find you. We stick together bro. I won’t let anyone or anything ever hurt you if I can help it." He murmured in my ear. His warm breath tickled me bringing a ghost of a smile to my pale lips.

"When do you leave?"

"Sometime after lunch tomorrow. I haven’t really decided, why?" He drew back to try and see my face. I ducked hugging him close. I didn’t want him to see.

"I just wanted to know how much time we had left. Can I sleep with you tonight?" I whispered. Caleb paused before disengaging himself. He stripped down to his boxers all the while watching me watch him. He climbed into his bed and patted the space next to him. I didn’t need to be asked twice. I shot into place fully clothed. I didn’t want to take off my clothes for fear he would smell the filth on me like Derek had. I curled up into a ball allowing Caleb to hug me close.

"Good night, Sean." He kissed me on my head.

"Good night, Caleb." I leaned up and kissed his collar bone. We fell asleep like that wrapped around each other.