Right Turn

((*L* I can't help but do a little dance. It's awesome to have so many people along for the ride here! I wrote this story for the sole purpose of getting the ending I wanted in a story somewhat like it. I was disappointed that the guy I liked wasn't who I thought he should have been. And it's neat that this is keeping folks intrigued.

Yue: *nodnod* Tell me about it. Someone needs to slap Ben upside dee head. Wanna do it? *s*
Anon: ooo... that's definitely one idea. And I love how you re-named them! :)
Penguin: Never fear! In the end all will make sense! I realize that I've spent a lot of time on Kyler. I hadn't meant to, but he refused to sit down and shut up (between he and Claire, I am surprised Ben gets ANY air time in this pic-cha
Isakuu: Ooo.. you liked that sweaty Ky visual too? Me too! Made me swoon. Hee hee.
Mahie: I think Claire would approve. She's like my favorite C in the world, Sisyphus the Beetle whose best line is "We beetles are eevveerrryywheeere. We see everythinnng! We knoow allllll!" Heh. Claire the Beetle isn't a very good name though for her. Still, she'd approve of being all knowing. Or at least all knowing in this fic!
Kikvws: What's with all the SLEEPING thing? I thought this was supposed to have SMUT in it? ^____^ Oh wouldn't that be just delicious though? We might have to arrange that, so that even if they don't end up together, we could do like a second ending where they just get it on (I think sparks would fly with those two - they can't help but rub one another the wrong (right?) way!
Ashlee: Awwee! *pet pet* Don't worry! You didn't manage to be that scary. :) And I am sorry you're confused! (Said with a straight face, as if she actually meant it, yesss) I promise it'll all turn out okay in the end (well - depending on who you're rooting for by then). And in case that happens to NOT be Kyler, I'll let him guard your bubble so it don't pop. :)
Lily: Meanie head authors! Don't they just drive you bonkers!!!! Glad you're enjoying!

And now, time for more ... ))

Right Turn

With Claire picked up by her mom and Kyler not speaking to him, Ben waited with the rest of the bussed students in front of the school. Most of his friends had a work period last of the day while he was still doing all of the academics and when he'd asked the one person he knew might say yes, her car was already overfull. It was SOL for him.

Rubbing his hand over his upper arm, he stared at the other people standing in the amoebae shaped line. Most of them were lower classmen but there was one or two seniors, either in trouble and on restrictions from their cars or like him, unlucky enough to be forced to go this route today.

"Ben?" hearing his name, Ben turned to where farther down the sidewalk Jack was walking toward him, guitar case slung over his slender shoulder. Damn, but the boy sure looked as if he had stepped out of Ben's dearest fantasy. Dressed in his usual hip low jeans and his shirt almost too tight to be legal so that his chest slid under the cotton as if it were the undertow in a placid river, he was already too fucking sexy to be real. Add to that though the rather uncool black duster and the engineer boots (which managed to be pulled off nicely on Jack where they would have looked stupid on Ben) and he was a walking wet dream.

Ben thought he was pretty successful in seeming intelligent when he lifted a brow and took a step back from the crowd. Inside, his heart pattered hard against his chest.

"Hey," Jack breathed as he caught up and his smile blinded Ben's brain, he could only hope that he'd answered in kind.

"I was heading..." Jack jerked his thumb over his shoulder toward the parking lot, looked that way, and then grinned and glanced back at Ben as if he were encouraging a certain understanding. "Umm, I was heading to my car when I saw you. Kinda hard to miss you, you know." He shrugged. "You want to ride instead of take the bus?"

Ben blinked back his sudden mute affliction and nodded, choking out (much to his relief - afraid he might never have spoken again) a bland and unenthusiastic, "Sure." Then, afraid he came off as too cold, Ben added, "I'd love to actually. That is, if you're going my way?"

Jack gave a casual flick of his fingers, "Don't matter. I like to drive. Maybe we could pick up something to eat on the way though. I'm starved."

Ben sought for the appropriate response to this beautiful stroke of fortune as they made it to Jack's beat up Nissan but in the end, it was Jack who had to begin the conversation once again. After getting the general direction of Ben's home, they stopped at a local burger joint, grabbed more food than Ben could have ever eaten in three days, yet seemed to have no trouble in packing it away. He was nervous. Whenever he was nervous, he ate.

"So.." Jack began calmly as he turned onto the main road, "I have been meaning to ask you something." He glanced over. "How did you end up being the token gay guy for the school? I mean, you're not the only one. There's plenty other guys and girls even, but somehow.. "

Ben hadn't expected something so deep right away. Still - they had been chatting with one another for a few weeks now so maybe they already had the framework for everything already laid? Why didn't it feel like they did? No matter how much he knew about Jack, he still felt like he was on the cusp of an enormous chasm of the unknown.

Flushing, Ben jacked his elbow up on the side of the car door and gave a shrug. "Dunno. I mean, Claire was the token lesbian for Libby. And she and I got to be friends so maybe that's how? I mean, I don't go around broadcasting, as much as it seems like I would," he laughs at Jack's knowing smile. "Really - It's not like I wear pink satin and do the hula any time we have an amateur talent show. I only did that once."

Jack laughed.

Ben decided it was nice to hear Jack laugh. And he wanted to make the other young man do it again. And again and again and again. It had a nice ring to it, clear and sophisticated. And to know that it could sound like honest lust as it had that night in the locker room made it even better.

"I can just see it. Graduation, you could go in a pink satin dress with sequins. That would be the way to go out with a bang. No one would ever be able to take your place." Jack snickered and then slowed at a light. Turning to Ben he smiled. "A guy at my last school did that. Well, it wasn't pink. He graduated in blue velvet and had his mom have his name changed on the diploma. It was a really liberal school, actually. I don't know what my dad and step mom thought when they moved here. It's completely different. I had the sense that if anyone were gay in this town, they'd be buried head first in the sloughs like the first day they tried to prance even a little bit."

The light turned green and they were on their way once again.

Ben's head whirled and then he laughed. "Well, they tried that on me once. But I got an ace in the hole. Kyler, he's the other guitar player?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah. He's not a bad guy for being a jock. I haven't talked to him much. He seems kind of shy."

"Shy? Kyler? The guy's a prick and a half. But that's not anything serious right now. See, he's all googly eyed over Claire, my best friend. And even though she's a lesbian, he keeps hanging around her, hoping he'll turn her straight I guess." Ben could feel his good mood seeping out of his words, talking about an arrangement he'd screwed up. And that's what it had been too. No doubt about it. As his day had passed, he'd been more and more aware of how badly he'd fucked things up.

"Anyway," Ben continued, "Kyler won't let his buddies rough me up too bad. So they just pushed me in one day. Got wet and my shoes were muddy as hell, but in the end, it didn't bother me too much."

Jack sighed heavily. "I don't know if I could do what you do. You're braver than I am. I don't know if I could be that out with myself. I'm averse to pain, actually. Hate it when it happens. I'm good at hiding and good at acting right so I don't get into trouble. But it would suck to be outed like that. I'd hate how everyone looked at me and talked about me."

"You get used to it. It's not so bad after a while." Ben was lying. "Well, it's better than when I was trying to be someone I wasn't."

"How so?" Jack queried, turning the car off of the main drag onto a residential road.

"How?" Ben frowned, pursing his lips and trying to get his head to settle into patterns he hadn't expected. "Well, that's not an easy question." He leaned more fully on the door and turned his body so he could watch Jack drive. The other boy had one hand propped on top of the wheel and there was a placidness to him as if the world lay before him, ready to be taken and used all for his own use. Like a prince with everything at his disposal.

"I'm a good listener," Jack smiled.

Ben fisted his hand into his hair and half closed his eyes. In this world that Jack surrounded them with; made with his self confidence, Ben couldn't help but feel as if he were somehow more in control, more powerful than he normally was. It was a heady feeling.

"I knew I was gay when I was about ten. I had a crush on my fourth grade teacher along with the rest of the girls." He laughed. "I didn't know. My parents are really open minded and I'd been taught to have respect for gays just as the same as they'd taught me to respect people no matter the color of their skin, their weight, their intelligence, that kinda shit. Sexual orientation was part of the parcel of anti-prejudice that my parents lived. And I had a friend with the girls who had a huge crush on him. She said something about liking him and I told her I liked him too. She got... weird. I don't think we ever really talked about it again." He ran his finger under his lower lip and sighed. "She graduated last year.

"Anyway, that was how I figured out that being gay wasn't as easy to be as maybe... straight. My parents had been trying to teach me how to act like a good little middle class white majority boy. None of us had been prepared to be teaching me how to act as a minority. So it was a shock. In fact, so much of a shock I didn't tell my parents for.. shit... I guess I told them the same time I told everyone else. Of course, my mom said she'd always known, but that's my mom for you. She's like ultra-intuitive."

Jack smiled. "That's neat though. Not everyone had good parents like that."

"Sure, it was awesome. I mean, I didn't have it so bad that I thought about killing myself like Claire did. That's when she decided to come out. She figured that the opinion of everyone else wasn't a good enough reason for her to be miserable. But me? I had to figure out how to be - well, me. That was the hardest part about it all.

"See, I spent a lot of time trying to act straight. I did all of the usual stuff. I figured I'd be alone and be a researcher instead of pretending to be straight and get married and shit and have kids. I planned out how I'd find lovers when I get into college and how I'd never tell my parents because while they'd been obvious about telling me they'd love me no matter what, I always believed I had to be something perfect for them. And if everyone hated gays, then that would make me something less than perfect. I got straight A's, I did extra credit. I worked hard on a soccer team and on baseball teams. I .." Ben chuckled low. "Anyway, I tried to be the right person so no one would know what I was. As if liking guys was the be all and end all of who I was."

"That's heavy, Ben," Jack said softly.

"Yeah," Ben agreed and pointed out his house. "Right there. That's where I live."

"Nice."

"It suits us." Ben laughed. "Middle class white majority."

"Yeah."

The car paused in the driveway and Ben unbuckled. "Well.. thanks for the ride."

Jack reached out, grabbing Ben's arm. "Ben?"

Ben froze. "Hmm?"

"Thanks. For sharing."

A soft smile touched Ben's lips. His body warmed from that touch, radiating outward into every cell until he was standing on a cloud. "Sure thing. See you tomorrow, Jack." He loved how that name just rolled off of his tongue.

"Sure thing."

Ben stood in his driveway and waved Jack away, then slowly turned to go back into his house. Everything was perfect.

((A/N: Everyone! Oct 11th was National Coming Out Day. An important day for our country to try and be responsible and respectful of all of our citizens, to rejoice in the differences that make our world a beautiful, diverse place. Let's all support our GLBT children and families in one of the most difficult steps in their lives. And realize also that we're in crisis. The suicide rate is higher for glb teens than for non glb teens. It is an alone, frightening place to be in, trapped in the shadows of secrets that they often feel they must keep to in order to remain safe in the harsh, dangerous place that is their school experience and the often anti-gay world. Vote! Be involved with local citizen help groups! Make your loving voices heard so that another child who fears coming out can do so instead of being lost in the dark.))