Gravity of Love

(nine)


We didn't talk in the car, or should I say Mannix had the music so loud that there was really no choice but to stay silent. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel with the eardrum bursting music and I sat there idly playing with the zippers on my sleeve. I briefly wondered why Ren was so damned pissed about what I did. Well, yeah, it wasn't exactly the best way to express gratitude, but I've done less that threw him into a frenzy. What he went through? I scoffed. Probably what he had someone else go through to get it. I doubt he even lifted a pinky to actually get this. But yet…he got it for me…was the motive sincere? I felt a small tinge of regret and didn't really know why. Maybe..maybe Ren was really sincere? But when does he do something for me just to do something for me? Thinking back on my life with him I realized that every kind thing he did for me was just to further serve himself. Either for sex, his wallet or just his amusement. Sad, but true. I wish to God it wasn't.

I faded as I watched cars zoom by us, streetlights and people on the sidewalks disappeared as we got back on the main highway. It wasn't long before the turn off came that would take us to The Freaky Coffin and the beginning of the night. I sat up in my seat, readying myself since it would only be like fifteen minutes until we got there. Yet, he wasn't slowing down—he wasn't even in the right lane. Where the fuck were we going? My heart dropped and a slight panic washed over me as I saw the green exit sign looming towards and pass. I turned in my seat, watching it morosely as it got smaller and smaller in the distance. I reached for the volume knob on the dash and turned the music down. Mannix gave me a sharp look.

"Uh…Mannix?" I started softly.

"We're not going to the Coffin," he said, sparing me a quick glance from the road and a cryptic smile. I sat back in my seat confused.

"Then where?" God, I sounded whiny.

"It's a surprise, Gavey-baby," he said and turned the music back up, leaving no further room for discussion. Great. Just fucking great.
**********************************************************


The "surprise" led us to the Glamour Strip. Of course that's not what everybody called it, just the people who didn't live in it. This was an area of town where everything was lit up like a Christmas tree, bright signs, big fancy window shops, and beautiful people on every corner. Up here you had "escorts" not whores. I didn't see a fucking difference, at the end of the night we both ended up on our backs; they just got treated better. This was where the major bucks were spent, from the restaurants even to the clubs; everything was fashioned to those who wanted to feel like they were better because of the size of their bank account. Ren, strangely enough, didn't come here much and only took me here twice for an outfit to wear at the club or a party, but hardly for anything else. I would have figured this would be like home to him, but I guess he just likes to hide in the darker, Goth corners of the city.

As we continued down the main street, he took a left that gave way to a more secluded and quiet road. I knew where we were going. The Gates. Ren had told me about this club: it belonged to Mannix for one, his most successful venture so far. When I had asked him why, Ren didn't tell me. I had asked him if I could check it out and he firmly told me no. Well, I guess I was getting my chance to satisfy my curiosity, just not exactly on the terms I wanted.

We parked and got out of the car. From the outside it seemed pretty normal, nothing special to the design, doors or windows. This was a club? Maybe I was used to neon lights, drunken men and corny names that I expected everything to be the same.

"This is better than the Coffin," Mannix said, taking a hold of my arm and led me to the doors. When we entered I was hit with different sounds, the pounding bass of techno, breaks of electronica and…was that fucking classical? All the music seemed to be blending together from different places yet it mixed to make a unique tune all on its own. I looked around and the place sorta looked like a hotel lobby. But further towards the end of the room was what looked like a subway staircase, obviously leading down. To the right was a grand marble staircase, winding up to a gold door. I looked around and caught the eyes of the guy behind an extravagant desk. His eyes rested on Mannix briefly and then he smiled at me as if he knew something I didn't and found it funny as hell. Mannix pulled me along, not giving me much time to really look at the place. But from what I did see it was no wonder Ren never came here, it was just plain weird.

We passed by the steps leading down where the techno was drifting from and started going up the stairs. He half-pulled, half-lead me through the gold door and it opened up to a wide hallway with seven doors, all of them numbered.

"Number seven," he said jovially and gave me a push to get me going. As I walked I began to piece this place together bit by bit. The stairs, the main doorway…it was kinda funny. I guess Ren wasn't the only one who had a soft spot for corny names. Mannix had him beat with this one.

I opened the door and stepped inside. As I looked around I couldn't help but let out a soft wow. It was lavishly decorated with a couch and plasma TV in one corner and a mini bar in the other. Did people come up here to fuck or hang out? Further ahead, there was a bias in the middle of the floor with a bed placed in its center. My stomach dropped down to my feet, I knew that's where I was going to be in a few minutes. Shit. There was a wall past the bed, hallway to a bathroom maybe? It made me think of my own humble room back at the Coffin, a visual statement on the differences of this world and mine. Honestly, I like my better. When people came to me they came to fuck, sure they might want to role-play or something, but in my world you expect lies, you expect deceit, you expect to be used because that's just how shit worked. Up here you smiled and pretended and tried to be someone else trying to be someone else. As soon as I finished that thought David ran through my head. Is that where all his masks came from? Years of this place?

I stiffened as I felt Mannix come behind me and grab my ass.
"You like the room?"

I took a few steps from him and shrugged as nonchalantly as I could.

"It's okay," I mumbled. Hell, it was more than okay, but why give him the pleasure of knowing that? He walked past me and disappeared for a second behind the wall by the bed and I soon heard slow, yet hypnotic bass beats coming from all over the room. Definitely not the music I would guess Mannix listened to, but this room didn't seem to be Mannix's style either.

"You want a drink?" He said and went to climb onto the bed, minus his shirt and shoes. I shook my head. He smiled at me and patted on the space next to him, doing a few bounces on it before leaning back.

"Come on," he said, "you'll love it."

"Doubtful," I muttered and went up the three steps to reach the bed. I sat down on the opposite side as far away from him as possible and sat there staring out into space. I tried to will myself in the mood, to start the game I play so well, but found myself unable. Damn, I was off tonight.

"What's the matter, Gavey?" Mannix purred, making his way slowly to my side of the bed.

"Nothing," I spat more angrily than I had intended. Jeez, watch your temper Gavin. Mannix laughed and I soon felt his hands on my shoulders and traveling down. He was on his knees, leaning up against my body and leaned his head down to nibble at my ear.

"Something's wrong with you," he whispered, his hot breathe spreading over my skin. "Once I took away your precious Coffin did I take away your confidence too?"

I tried to shrug him off but he only held on to me tighter.
"You didn't take away shit," I grumbled. Shit! Why was I letting this fuck get me this mad?

"I think I did," he said softly and spread his hands over my shoulders, down my chest and followed the line of my arms. I bit my lip and tried not to break away or move, but it was hard. Harder than it should be. I wasn't up for this tonight—I..I couldn't do this. I closed my eyes and let out a soft sound in-between a hiccup and a sob. Mannix suddenly pulled away and I almost fell back onto the bed without his body there to support me.

"Ren did something to you, didn't he?" I didn't turn around to see his face, but..was that actual concern I heard in his voice? I shook my head.

"Don't matter," I mumbled and started unzipping my shirt. "We gonna fuck or what?" I was angry. Everything and everyone was a target and I had finally reached the point of not caring. Let him hit me, the bastard, won't be the first time and it sure as hell won't be the last. I had gotten my shirt off and flung it over to the far wall and I felt Mannix's fingers slide over my skin.

"You don't like the room," he said softly.

I half-turned to face him; one leg dangling off the side of the bed "Is that all you want to hear, Mannix? Yes, yes, I love the room. I love it death, happy?"
A small smile crept on his lips. "Oh, I'm not that concerned whether you like it or not, I just wanted to know what I should tell David."

That stopped my angry train in its tracks, my brain shutting down.
"Huh?"

Mannix smiled wider. "He's the one who decorated this room. I let him have full reign since this is the place where he takes his clientele." He looked around the room slowly. "I personally hate it, not enough toys, but," he shrugged, "David was never one for that type of thing."

I sat there in shock. Did he just say that this was David's room? Like I had a room at the Coffin? I ran my hand along the soft satin sheets. This is where he—where he…. And Mannix brought me here, of all the fucking places?!

I looked back up at him and he was watching me intently as if he was waiting for a reaction. And that's why he told me. I mean, what difference did it make what else this room was used for? Why bother? I'm not important enough to know. Unless…unless he wanted me to know just so he could get a rise out of me. Guess what? It worked.

"Is that the reason why we're here?" I muttered, gripping a fistful of the sheets in anger. "You wanted to show me what a dirty whore I am by bringing me to David's slice of heaven? Wanted to rub it in my face? Why?"

Mannix laughed. "No one needs to show you what kind of whore you are, Gavey, and Ren….well, Ren just seems to love you that way. I, on the other hand, don't. This is what you could have."

He shocked me into silence the second time in a row. I choked back a laugh. Was he actually trying to recruit me? I narrowed my eyes at him, smiling coldly.

"And who're you supposed to be, Mannix? My knight in shining armor?" I brought the rest of my body on the bed and closed the distance between us. I brought my face teasingly close to his, another couple of inches and we'd be kissing.

"You wanna rescue me?" I whispered.

Mannix moved quickly and grabbed me by the arms, pulling me to him until our chests met. His silk shirt was soft and cool against my bare chest, making me shiver. Our eyes met and I was beginning to regret testing him the way I did. With Ren I knew how to tip toe around his temper and get what I wanted or at least survive the worst of it. Mannix? I really didn't know what he got like when he decided to get physical; I hoped I wasn't about to find out. His hazel eyes searched my face, staring at me as if he could see through me.

"I don't want to rescue you," he finally said and flung me to the bed. He got on top of me, grabbing each of my wrists in a painful grip and forced them above my head. "This is just what you could have, but don't, Gavey, and never will. I just needed—," he stopped and closed his eyes for a second, took a deep breath and opened them again, "wanted to see you here instead of David."

What was there to say to that? I looked up at him, eyes wide and noticed movement from…from the ceiling? I moved my head a bit so that Mannix wasn't blocking my view and saw a large mirror on the ceiling. I saw Mannix on top of me, my legs spread and my angry face staring back at me. Mannix must have noticed and lifted his head to look up. He chuckled and brought his attention back to me.

"That was David's idea too," he said. "Says he likes to watch himself."

I so didn't need to hear that. How would David feel if he knew that Mannix was talking about him so nonchalantly, so coldly? Did Mannix know how much David loved him? Did he even care? Yet here he was playing out some sort of fantasy. It seemed like it was a stab at me. All the things that I didn't have, the type of life I led, but I knew the game was about wasn't me. It was David. Why David's room? Why tell me? Mannix was having serious issues with David and this room and I doubt only a few involved me.

"Where's David now?" I asked softly. He looked down at me, his eyes burning with anger yet there was a wide smile on his face.

"Worrying about David now?" he hissed.

"N-no," I stammered quickly.

"He doesn't need you," he said and brought his head down to kiss me. It was bruising, and had absolutely no lust behind it; he just wanted to hurt me. He pulled back from me and got off the bed. He unzipped his pants and stepped out of his pants and underwear, I laid there watching him. "Take this as a hint, Gavey." He said sharply, "you were so quick to fuck before." I bit down on my tongue to keep a nasty retort from coming out, I let my anger slip out too many times already tonight and I didn't want to take the chance that he would hit me or worse. Yes, there is something worse than just getting smacked around; Mannix is the king of pain. Another lesson I learned the hard way.

I quickly slipped out of my pants, pushing them down my legs. I guess I wasn't undressing fast enough because Mannix grabbed the pant's leg and began forcefully pulling them off my legs, almost taking me with them. I had clearly struck a nerve when I mentioned David, showing a hint of concern for him and now I was going to pay for that. It's sucks to have a heart sometimes.

He came back onto the bed and got on top of me and devoured my mouth with him. His hands traveled everywhere they could reach, groping and squeezing, trying to hurt every inch he could. I tried to kiss him back, turn it into a passionate exchange, but he didn't want that. When I offered my tongue to him, he bit down on it, making me squeal and writhe under him. He let my tongue slip from his teeth and he went to biting other things like my lips, my chin anything his teeth could latch on to. I lay there and took it, wincing and making small noises in my throat, going more and more passive with every touch. Yet it seemed the more I gave in, the angrier he got and the more pain he gave. What the hell did he want from me?

Another bite on my neck and when his nails scratched along my stomach I reached out and pushed him without thinking. All he was giving me was pain and my mind had finally reacted involuntarily. He looked up at me, lips slightly tinted. No wonder his bites were hurting like hell, he was breaking the skin! He grabbed me by the back of my neck and pulled my head up forward so that our noses touched.

"That's the spirit, Gavey," he whispered.

What the fuck? I pulled away from him and looked up at him as if he'd gone insane. No, strike that…he was always insane he finally just pulled down his mask enough to let me see just how deep it went.

"C'mon, Gavey," he purred, "too worried you'll hurt me? Think David would cry if I came home hurt?"

My anger flared again and I gave him another shove, reacting without really thinking. He laughed.

"That's all you've got?" He sneered. "Why did Ren ever put up with a pussy like you? Maybe that's why he keeps asking for David, he wants a REAL fuck."

I let out a small cry and pushed him as hard as I could. He flew off me and fell on his back, laughing as he went. I didn't care if he was enjoying this, I didn't fucking care! I only wanted to bash his face in, make him hurt like he was hurting me. I yelled, fists closed and went for him. I got on top of him and straddled him and my fist came in contact with his jaw. His head flew to the side.

"Yeah, not laughing now are ya?" I spat down at him, breathing heavily.
He put his head back and looked up at me, the anger that was a smoldering fire in his eyes was all but gone. My heart sunk. I didn't hurt him; all I managed to do was turn the sick fuck on. I was so tired of this shit.

"You happy now?" I panted.

He smiled and grabbed my arm, pulling me down to him.
"Mmmmm...not yet," he murmured.

Our lips met and this time it was surprisingly gently. He coaxed my tongue out, twirling his own around it. He reached up and held my head in his hands, holding me to him. A nasty idea ran through my head and I tried to squash it, but couldn't. He had made me too mad, talked about David like he was nothing…

I maneuvered myself above him, kissing down his throat and kneading my fingers into his arms. He groaned either not noticing or not caring that I was now fully on top of him and in position for dirtier deeds since the first time I met him. Let him get a taste of his own medicine, the fucker.

Still kissing I reached down with one hand and positioned my cock at his ass. Mannix instantly froze and I felt his hands move to push me away so I quickly moved my hips that last inch and drove my cock in as hard as I could. He made a chocking gasp and arched his back. I waited for him to hit me, yell and threaten me. He only looked up at me and laughed.

"Didn't know you had it in you, Gavin."

So he wanted to tease me? That was fine. I was beginning to feel an overwhelming hatred for the man beneath me. How would David feel knowing that Mannix brought me here to fuck? How long ago was he here, "entertaining" countless men or women?

Mannix was still smiling at me as if he knew what was going through my head. He just might since he's been pushing all my buttons tonight, and I fucking let him. The bastard. Breathing hard, out of anger not passion, I began to thrust in him. Hard. I wanted to hurt him, wanted for him to feel how it was to be on the other end. What he puts me through, what he puts David through. I leaned further on him, driving my cock in until I heard Mannix cry out.

"Trying to split me in half?" He choked. I didn't care. I only pumped faster. I wouldn't stop…couldn't.

It felt..

It felt…

Oh God, it felt..

Wonderful.

Fire spread over my body, the pleasure tearing cry after cry from my throat. I threw my head back and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror above me. I watched myself as I plunged into Mannix, saw his hands gripping my waist for dear live and –God, help me—I wanted to cum right then and there. This…this was turning me on? Hurting Mannix? Controlling him like this? I looked back down at the source of my growing hatred. His head was to the side; eyes squeezed shut and his mouth slack as he breathed in shallow gasps. My anger surged for reasons I couldn't grasp and I drove myself even harder.

My whole body was consumed with the pleasure, quivering as I put my body into motion. Every part of me wanted to go further, harder and deeper. Mannix couldn't do anything but hold on to me and ride it out; I don't think he could stop me even if he wanted to. Which I 'm sure he didn't. I was in control tonight. Isn't that what he wanted? Is that why he wanted me here instead of David?
I leaned down to kiss him and he drew my lip in his mouth, biting down. I pulled back and did the same to his. I ate at his mouth, our lips puffy and bruised as we bit and gnawed frantically at each other. I groaned, the excitement from the pain running through me like volts of electricity. With every thrust, it seemed to pull a cry out of my throat; every moan from Mannix only served me to try and hurt him more. Before I knew it I came screaming. It was a voiced release for my anger, my pain, and my self-loathing. Everything I was, everything I had become I let out as I pounded away into Mannix.

Silence. Nothing.

Then slowly I heard my shallow breathing nearly to the point of hyperventilation. I stayed on top of him, and looked up at myself in the mirror. What had I just done?

"Was it something I said?," Mannix said softly.

I closed my eyes and rolled off him and scooted away from him, he held onto me for only a second and then let me go. I had played pain games with Ren, even with a few nightly clients-just enough for that edge—but that was biting and nails, nothing like this. I fucked him with such malice it frightened me. But what terrified me most was that I really, really enjoyed it. I think I'm going to be sick. I think I am sick.

"Don't shrink away now, Gavin," Mannix purred, his voice soft and soothing. "You finally showed me what you've got." I opened my eyes to look at him as he half-crawled to me and lightly kissed my lips, his hot breath tingling across my flushed skin.

"That hurt so good," he whispered.

I swallowed hard and sat up, scooting to the edge of the bed. I had to get out here. He grabbed me by the arm.
"Where you goin'?"

"I—I just need some air---I-" Shit, I was shaking. He didn't let go of me, just looked at me in a sort of knowingly way.

"Don't freak out cuz you liked it," he simply said.

I turned my head to him sharply, my anger briefly returning.

"Fuck you," I spat, but my voice was soft and uncertain. I was freaking because I enjoyed hurting him.

"Again?" Mannix chuckled. "You're feeling pretty spry aren't you?"

I fought against his grip but he only pulled me closer, using his weight to take us back down to the bed. I still tried to struggle as his arms wrapped around me.

"Easy, Gavin, easy."

"We've got to head back," I mumbled weakly.

"No, we don't," Mannix said in a singsong voice. "I've got you the whole night, 'member?"

I yielded in his arms and shut my eyes, willing myself to disappear. Wishing to escape, but there was none, static or other wise that could keep me from facing the truth. I thought of David and for some strange reason I felt like I had betrayed him. Yeah, I hardly knew the guy, but I knew what he felt for Mannix and it made me sad that his love was in vain. Was he home now, alone? Waiting for his lover to come home? Or was he with a client. No, not a client because then he'd be here where I was. I felt like shit and I fought not to pull back as Mannix embraced me closer. I eventually felt sleep begin to fall over me and I welcomed the escape gladly. An escape from his arms, from this fucking room and my own demons at my heels.