Altered

“You should not have left your quarters.”

Izra’il was perched at his bedside, with the hood fully in place this time.  Slim fingers stroked at his brow and caressed his cheek, but it was with the clinical coolness of a caretaker and naught else.

“I had to,” Emery croaked.  He kept his eyes shut, horrified at the thought of what he might see.

“Why?”

“The door- it was partially open.  I had to try to escape.”  The words were reluctant to come, forced through his teeth.

It was enough to startle the entity on his bed.  Pale fingers jerked away and gathered in its robed lap.  He cracked open an eye and was surprised to see Izra’il looking away.  His throat worked, thoughts wheeling together in a terrible tangle of revelations on revelations.

“You came to me, didn’t you?”  It was barely a question.  “You were here and you didn’t shut the door completely.”

“I did no such thing.”  The tremor weaving through the cultured chords of Izra’il’s voice said differently.

He shifted on the bed and forced himself to sit up on his own.  Emery reached over and placed a hand carefully on Izra’il’s thigh.  Though the pale creature jerked, it didn’t flee the room.

“Why did you do it?”

By squinting, he was able to see Izra’il sucking in its lower lip to worry it with teeth.  Tension coiled in its lithe frame and, after a long moment, it lowered a hand to cover Emery’s.  Then it plucked his fingers free.

“It will not happen again,” Izra’il replied in a voice so thin and weak that he had to strain to hear it.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Izra.  I- I just wanted to know why you did it.  It wasn’t terrible, just-”  He fumbled with words and gave up.  When Izra’il tried to release his hand, however, he twisted his wrist and caught the skeletal digits in his grip.

“My impulsiveness is a trait that Sovereign has spent considerable time cultivating.  I am different from the others, but the Sovereign does not know why.  Rather than break me or shape me, Sovereign grants me free rein to do as I desire in exchange for my devoted service.”

“But that doesn’t explain why you-”

Izra’il’s fingers clenched.  “You needed release.  I granted it.  The others would have eliminated your biological imperatives; I- I couldn’t do that.”

“Couldn’t?  Or wouldn’t?”  His forehead furrowed.  “Is that what you do with all of your, ah, patients?”  His thoughts turned to the image of the gutted man and he shuddered.

“No.”  Was that shame?  He couldn’t be sure.  Izra’il tugged gently and tried to extricate its trembling fingers from his hold.  “ I was curious and my curiosity is now sated.  I am sorry if you felt-”

“No,” he said.  “If you wanted to do it again, it’s okay- just, ah.  Just let me be awake next time, okay?”

Izra’il didn’t answer.  It plucked its fingers free and rose from the bed in a shuddery ripple. 

“Izra’il.”  The being paused with a hand on the doorknob.  “What were you doing to that- that thing?”

A ghost of a smile graced shadow-draped lips.

“Assembling.”