Love is Suffering

They were both silent as the elevator slowly rose to Oliver’s floor. This new impulsive behavior terrified him. Oliver was beginning to regret this decision, but chose not to say anything to Philip. They walked through the front door of the dark apartment, which at this point was only illuminated by the lights of the city pouring in the windows.

“Wow, this place is crazy”, whispered Philip.

“Yeah”, Oliver said leading him further inside. “Do you want anything?”

“No, I’m fine. Thanks”, he said walking over to the large windows. “So, this is really yours?”

Oliver paused, not sure what to say. “It’s sort of co-owned”, he whispered staring out the window with Philip. “But it’s completely ours tonight”.

Philip turned to him and smiled, wrapping his arms around the boy’s neck. He pressed his lips against Oliver’s and kissed him passionately yet gently. They continued to kiss as Oliver deliberated whether or not to bring Philip into the bedroom. After about a minute of feeling the man’s tongue circle in his mouth, Oliver took his hand and led him on to Sebastian’s large bed. It felt strange to be with someone else, especially since his body practically belonged to Sebastian those past months. Philip seemed very experienced; he knew exactly where to touch Oliver to make him feel like shooting stars were rushing through his body. Oliver relaxed under his kisses rather than tensing in pain.

Philip quickly removed his shirt and Oliver took this as a sign to also remove his. The man leaned down and trailed his tongue down Oliver’s stomach, causing shivers to run up his spine. Philip then took initiative to unbutton Oliver’s pants and slide them off. He gave the boy a few passionate kisses then moved to a sensitive spot on his neck right below his ear.

“Turn over”, Philip whispered.

Oliver’s skipped a beat and he stared back at Philip, whose face was full of reassurance. Oliver nodded and flipped onto his stomach, allowing Philip to climb on top. He trailed kisses down his spine and rubbed the boy’s slender hips. Oliver felt an odd relaxing sensation, something he didn’t feel when he was with Sebastian. Philip slid Oliver’s briefs to his knees and slightly spread his legs apart. Oliver wanted this more than anything else, these new feelings opened his eyes to the loving side of sex that had been left unfulfilled for quite some time. Philip spit into his and moved down to Oliver’s tensing backside. Emotions arose as Philip prepared behind him. On one hand, Oliver felt immense guilt for betraying Sebastian by inviting another man in his bed, but on the other hand, Philip’s presence was new and exciting. He ignored these fears and allowed Philip inside. There was no pain as there was with Sebastian, instead, pleasure took his body over. Philip slowly thrust into the boy, gently at first then a bit quicker. He was careful not to cause any pain and kept a reassuring hand on the boy’s back. Philip finished quietly, running his hands through Oliver’s damp hair. He collapsed next to the boy and continued to play with his hair.

Oliver rolled over to lie on Philip’s chest, “Do you want to spend the night?”

Philip smiled and nodded, “Sure”.

Oliver smiled back and placed his head on the man’s shoulder. The comfort of a warm body next to his kept his mind off of a judgmental Silvia, an absent Sebastian, and even his debt.

Oliver decided he wanted to keep Philip around for as long as possible. He hadn\'t tried to contact Sebastian, nor did Sebastian try to contact him. It had been three amazing days since he first met Philip. Every morning he would wake up happy rather than worried and every night he went to sleep comforted rather than hurt. However, in the back of his mind Oliver knew what he was doing was wrong. Sebastian may have not always treated him with complete respect or care, but he was dedicated to their relationship.

It was another beautiful morning after another beautiful night. Philip knew he was somewhat abandoning his responsibilities at home, but there was something special about Oliver that kept him there.

“Good morning”, Philip smiled at the sleepy boy next to him.

Oliver yawned and pushed Philip’s chest, “Morning”. Sunshine shown over the bed like a gleaming blanket of gold. The peak of Oliver’s day was waking next to Philip. He had now been with Oliver for four days, and although it was only a short time, it had seemed as if they had spent eternity together.

“What do you want to do today?” Philip asked tracing circles on the boy’s chest.

Oliver rubbed his eyes, “I want to sleep here with you”.

“Come on you have to get up”, Philip said roughing his hair. Oliver sat up and lightly kissed him. He felt so fortunate to have this. It took away all the stress of being with Sebastian and gave him something so much more fulfilling. However, the little voice in the back of his mind kept him feeling regretful. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this and was overwhelmed with guilt for betraying Sebastian’s love. Regardless, he couldn’t seem to let Philip go.

“I have to tell you something”, Oliver sighed as he closed his eyes.

“What?” Philip asked, a tint of panic in his voice.

“Yes, what do you have to tell him, Oliver? We’re all dying to know”.

Oliver’s head shot up to see the man standing in the doorway, suitcase still in hand. Sebastian’s face was flat, but you could feel the rage radiating off him.

“Sebastian!” Oliver exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

Sebastian maintained his calm disposition, “Well, seeing as this is my house…”

“Wait I’m sorry”, said Philip. “Who’s this?”

Sebastian smiled slightly, “I’m Oliver’s boyfriend. And who might you be?”

Philip’s mouth hung to the floor. He looked back and forth from Oliver to Sebastian, as if to formulate a plausible explanation.

“Wait, Philip I can explain”, Oliver’s voice began to shake.

Philip stared at him for a second than got out of bed and dressed himself.

“Philip please”, Oliver begged almost in tears.

“Bye Oliver”. Philip walked out the door, leaving Oliver alone with Sebastian.