Silent (Rewrite)

 

A/N: Thank you for reviewing and rating! :)

Chapter 8

 

When Michael startled awake, he was alone in the room, laying on the bed, on the stained sheets, pain all over his poor abused body. He turned his head carefully to the side, towards the cameras high up on the wall and he felt tears in his eyes. This pain couldn't be compared to anything, he felt himself trembling all over and forced himself to lift himself up onto his feet.

He limped towards the bathroom without stopping to look at his image from the mirror. He worked like a robot; had to wash, to act, not think and still...

Michael brought his forehead against the cold tiles.

Could he ever regain his freedom back now? he wondered and though he wanted to hope that he could, he knew that he was trapped. The men would come back, they would rape him again, he had ended up as a play-toy in a sick, twisted game and he didn't know if he'd ever be free. He thought about his parents and Tony and broke down in desperate tears realizing that he might never see them again.

For a moment Michael stayed under the warm spray, his chest juddered as he was gasping for breath, tears still rolling down his face. He examined his hands, the skin of his wrists was red, bruises had begun to form on his arm. He allowed his gaze to move down on his body and uttered a moan when he saw all his bruising, his thighs felt sore and they were bruising as well. Inside he felt burning pain and Michael didn't know how he could take it if they'd rape him again.

Michael swallowed, looking around; he didn't want to believe that life had brought him here. He closed his eyes, felt the water spraying around him. A slave? Was it really what he was forced to be now? He had placed his whole life into the man's hands and now regretted it bitterly. He had so many dreams and now all of them were about to break in to pieces in front of him. The man had called him a whore and intended to train him for it, the thought raised a bitter and painful moan. He didn't want it! He didn't want their disgusting touch! He had only wanted love and now.... After this, even if he could escape, who would want him now?

He regretted his foolishness. How stupid had he been for thinking that he had seen the bottom when everyone in school had found out! Now he had fallen several meters down further, to the rock bottom and the walls around him were too steep to climb up alone. Grandmother had been right, he should have listened. Why hadn't he?

Finally he dried himself with a fresh towel that had been left for him, his only protection to cover up his nudity. He returned to the bedroom, thought for a moment before slowly walking to the door to try the handle. Of course he had known it would be locked, but still he felt disappointed. He was hungry, he felt his stomach aching and the hunger and pain combined made him dizzy. Sighing heavily, the boy lowered himself onto the floor, laying down on his side, curling up, hurt too much to sit upright. He looked towards the window wistfully, tears in his eyes.

Waiting was the worst, he didn't know how long he'd be alone until someone would come, either to bring him food or... Michael swallowed, he felt cold and uncomfortable, his hand stroked the cold floor and he looked around finding nothing to aid himself with. Time went by and Michael stayed where he was. Finally he heard the steps and became alerted, he got up, his body trembling from anxiety as he slowly got up on his knees.

Klonck, Klonck, klonck; the steps were slow, but loud.

The door opened slightly, Michael saw a glimpse of the lanky servant and crawled quickly towards the door.

"Señor por favor, ayuda me por favour," he prayed in Spanish as the man lowered the tray on the floor looking confused. Michael grasped the man's trouser leg. ”Por favour, ayuda me!” he cried.

"Yo estoy apesadumbrado...yo estoy apesadumbrado, que no puedo," the servant spluttered fearfully and feeling alarmed he kicked, which made Michael's hold loosen and the man could lock the door again.

Michael brought his forehead against the door and sobbed. No one would help him, he was alone and didn't know how to free himself. He listened to the quick steps from the stairway, the man was gone.

He looked at the tray, wiped his eyes and crawled to it. He ate slowly, he ate to survive. Time kept running and no one came. From the small window he could see the day changing into night. He circled the room, mostly sat or lay still and waited, prayed, regretted.

Time went by, silence, it was too quiet, there wasn't any food for several hours. Finally he got himself a book and started to read, he fell asleep with the book in his hands.

In the morning he woke up to the sound of hammering. He looked towards the window, seeing the only sight of freedom slowly covered behind the boards, taking the last means of having any sense of time away from him. It felt difficult to breath; it was almost like being buried alive. This was his prison, he'd be forgotten and he'd die; the thought was terrible. Perhaps he would starve to death? Perhaps the door would be boarded shut as well? Endless horrific scenarios, each worse than the next, glimpses of hope and dreams of being saved. During those uncertain moments, Michael prayed to God more than ever before. His fate seemed to be the only thing he had anymore.

Even the short period felt like forever when all sense of time was gone. The hunger grew stronger, the room felt smaller and smaller by the minute. The cameras were following, Michael pondered how many pairs of eyes were watching him through them. Were there cameras even in the bathroom? The anxiety grew, the room was so terribly dark in its colors. He paced back and worth, like a wild animal who had been caught in a too small cage.

At times he banged the door and screamed until his voice ran out, until he fell exhaustively on his knees. ”You'll survive this, don't give up!” he kept telling himself over and over, rocking himself back and worth wanting to find comfort. He had to survive!

If someone would have told him the actual time that he had spent alone, Michael would have told them that they were lying, for it had to be longer.

 

Ricky knew what he was doing, he wanted to confuse the boy's mind in order to break him to his will, so that even when he would finally be rewarded with certain liberties; moving alone outside, he'd be too scared to run away.

This game was a new one even for Ricky, but he intended to succeed in it, he wanted a slave for himself, a slave that he could explore and molest sexually anyway he'd like, anyway that his twisted mind could come up with. It would have been easy to just take some kid from the streets, like his friend had done, but Ricky always wanted to be one step ahead to prove himself better. It was a twist of fate that he had arrived in that town just as Michael happened to arrive in that pub, that the boy reminded him a remarkable lot of the boy who had been the first to experience his friendly evilness, heartlessness that had been the reason behind his early death.

Evan, his friend who had died young, haunted Ricky's mind often. Not because he would have felt regret towards what he had done, his mind was far too dark for that, but because Evan had been the first boy that he had felt that mad lust for. Evan had taken his own life, but he had done it only because he saw no other way of freeing himself from the insanity of his childhood friend. Ricky had thought the act foolish, the only thing that he regretted, was that he hadn't gotten the chance to play with Evan longer. The boy had been beautiful ever since childhood and now... Michael reminded him of Evan in so many ways. Ricky had always had an eye for beauty and this time he wanted to keep his beautiful, young toy longer.

He looked at his victim through the screen without getting bored. He almost chuckled when the boy begged for help from the dim-witted servant. Finally he told his friend to board the window shut in order to make the boys prison even more suffocating. George listened as he always did, Ricky wasn't the kind of person you'd go against when you had learned to know him. George had often thought that Ricky had no conscience and now he felt so even more. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he had begun to feel pity towards the captive boy. The boy's dazzling beauty affected him differently than it did to Ricky, whereas Ricky wanted to see more tears, George had begun to ponder what it would be like to make him to smile, be the person to offer small measurement of comfort. Ricky would be beside himself if he knew his thoughts and so George kept silent.

After keeping his prisoner in oblivion and low nutrition for a few days, Ricky finally decided to go to him. He smiled as he stepped into the room and watched as the boy moved panicky off the bed. Fumblingly, Michael got up and backed to the corner.

”Don't touch me!” the boy whimpered when the man got nearer. ”I can't! No more! I want to get out, let me go!” he screamed and made Ricky's grin grow.

”It's not an option, sweetheart,” he said and came closer, the boy was sobbing and moaning in fear, chased into a corner. Ricky pressed closer, sniffing the youth’s neck. ”You smell intoxicating,” he whispered, tearing the towel away from him, groping him all over, tasting his skin with his lips and tongue. The boy whimpered when Ricky turned him harshly around, as he hastily spread the lube and finally forced himself inside the boy. He brought his sweaty palm against the boy's mouth, pushing his fingers inside his mouth and warning him not to bite, but the boy was too panicky from what was happening to think clearly and did end up biting the fingers just wanting the assault to end. Ricky roared from fury and banged the boy's forehead against the wall while continuing his violent act.

Michael felt dizzy, he would have fallen over if the hold had not been so tight, it happened and finally it was over, leaving disgusting pain behind. He fell on his knees on the floor and heard the man's steps echoing further away from the room and the door banged closed after him, leaving Michael alone once more.

His head ached, he fell, supporting himself with his hands he felt his body quivering from pain and nausea. The man's seed was running on his thighs and it made him almost vomit, nothing did come out though. Cold sweat broke on his skin and Michael kept his eyes shut tightly, forcing himself not to think what had happened, trying to force it out of his mind. Finally, after several minutes, he was able to bring himself up on his feet and force himself to move into the bathroom to wash.

Everything was hazy. How many days had it been? Michael wondered washing himself.

He could feel the water on his skin, leaned to the wall and silently praying. He tried to focus, bringing all his thoughts into his fate. He had been brought up in a religious home, his parents had never been too strict, but religion had always been there. His own fate however, didn't base so much on the Bible, which he believed only to be written by people and whose message could have been twisted after several translations. Time had also done its duty; one should consider how much the world had changed since then. The God that Michael believed in was forgiving and tolerant, he couldn't believe that God would judge love in any form. This was an evil place, this God would condemn and Michael could only hope that his prayer would be heard among the several others.

Michael startled when the bathroom door opened and he brought his gaze into Ricky’s sneering face. The exhausted youth cried out. Why now, already? He had only just left!

”Don't! I can't! I can't!” Michael screamed, backing off in the bathtub. The man smiled, got closer, and he closed the water tab, then took a towel which he wrapped on Michael before lifting him up. Michael squirmed and moaned in fright as the man carried him back to the bed. The sheets had been changed, there were shackles attached at the bed ends. Ricky didn't say anything, forced him on his back and locked the leather bands on his wrists to hold him in place. Michael tried to kick, when Ricky slapped him hard and grasped his throat.

”One more kick and I'll make you suffer for it!” the man roared. ”Will you stay still now?” he asked, tightening his hold and Michael managed a small nod. ”Good.” Ricky smiled and took a black scarf which he then used to cover his captive's eyes.

”I'll be back later,” he said and Michael felt him getting up off the bed, heard his steps that lead to the door and then heard it bang shut after him.

His arms ached, the position was uncomfortable and the scarf made it even more difficult to have any sense of time. Michael sobbed, shaking; the time that he spend shackled on that bed felt like forever. He was hungry and thirsty, he kept praying for a miracle to save him and yet it never arrived.

 

Finally he heard the steps, the door opened and closed and who ever came in approached the bed. The blindfold was lifted off. Ricky brought his hand on his face, stroking tenderly, wiping the tears with his thumb.

”Ask to pleasure me with your mouth,” Ricky told him and Michael whimpered, closed his eyes and shook his head.

”Never!”

”No?”

”I hate you,” Michael hissed weakly. ”You are crazy!” Ricky smiled at this. ”I want to go free!”

”Well, darling, I'll give you more time to think,” the man said and again tied the scarf on his eyes.

”I want to go free! Let me go!” Michael screamed when he heard the steps leaving the room. ”I can't! Please!” He moaned, but the door closed once more.

The boy gasped for breath, vainly trying to yank his arms loose. The panic spread and he felt like he couldn't breathe properly.

I'm going to die; I'm going to die here! he thought, crying and wailing in pain. No one came. He felt so hungry, the minutes went by, the hours. His body ached; Michael lay still, would it be like this? How long would he have to stay shackled on this bed? He wanted to use the bathroom, it was humiliating. ”You'll live through this, you will, just a little more,” he whispered to himself, hoping that he would believe his own words easier if he spoke them out loud. ”You won't break, just hang on,” he repeated quietly until he felt his breathing start to calm.

**^^**

The steps were nearing once more; Michael fell silent and drew a deep breath. He knew what the man wanted and knew that Ricky wouldn't hesitate to leave him like this for the whole day if he wouldn't get the answer that he wanted. As the echo of the steps drew closer, Michael prepared himself to surrender, there wasn't a way to beat this, only a way to lessen the suffering, he had to make his mind up to survive no matter the cost.

The door opened, the man got closer, and the mattress sank slightly under his weight. A moment later the blindfold was taken off. ”So how will it be, Michael? Will you give your mouth a better use than talking back?”

The boy eyed the man with disgust. ”Will you let me go then?” he asked quietly.

”If you do your job, then yes.” Ricky nodded.

”Alright,” Michael whispered.

”Good boy,” the man praised, leaning closer to open the bands and then he brought his own lips to kiss the unwilling ones.

”May I use the bathroom first?” Michael asked with voice that had submitted to his fate.

”You are welcome.” Ricky smiled cockily and Michael felt another wave of disgust run through his body when he thought about what waited for him. He got up awkwardly, his legs almost gave in underneath him, but he forced himself to stagger towards the bathroom, feeling the man's gaze burning on his back.

”Don't stall,” Ricky ordered when Michael closed the door to the bathroom behind him.

When Michael returned to the room, the man still sat on the bed, dark eyes following him carefully. ”Come closer,” he said and Michael forced himself to move. Every step felt heavy. ”Kneel before me,” Ricky gave another command and once again Michael forced himself to obey.

He felt weak, his body ached all over and he hadn't eaten since yesterday morning.

”Kiss it,” Ricky said and Michael looked up insecurely, not sure whether the man wanted him to open his pants first or not, otherwise the order wasn't unclear at all because he was on his knees in front of him. ”Do it!” Ricky snapped and brought his hand on the back of Michael's head and pressed his head against the front of his pants.

Michael squeezed his eyes shut; the man was moaning and massaging himself against his face, until finally he opened his pants. ”Do your best, suck; if you even dare to bite me, I swear I'll hurt you and you'll be tied all week!”

Michael had no doubt that the threat was real. He submitted and tried his best to please the monster. It was horrible, the man pulled his hair, forced his thick organ deeper into his throat making him gag and cough, making him believe that he would choke. It was difficult to breath, his jaw was aching, throat hurting, saliva dripped down from the corners of his mouth, tears were running down.

The man was moaning, talking dirty words that made the whole thing even more horrible. Was this how it would be? Michael pondered feeling disgust raise against himself.

After hearing a groan of pleasure, the salty disgusting taste filled his mouth unexpectedly and Michael panicked for a moment. He would have wanted to throw up or spit out, but he was given no other option than to swallow. When Ricky loosened his hold, Michael stumbled back, crawled a little further away and threw up. His body juddered, sweat made his hair stick on his forehead. His throat felt like it was burning, everywhere hurt and he wanted to wake from this horrid nightmare. This had to be too horrible to be real.

”God dammit!” the man roared, grasped his hair and dragged him to the bathroom. Michael stumbled crying in agony. ”You fucking slut, you'll learn not to throw up!”

Ricky lifted him up on the bathtub forcefully. ”Wash yourself and then you'll going to clean up that mess you made!”

Michael sobbed, whimpering when the cold water sprayed on him suddenly. The man grinned cruelly, finally closing the tab. ”Get up, take that bucket and a rag.” He pointed.

Michael tried to get up, his head ached and he couldn't stop crying.

”Pathetic...” Ricky sighed. ”Come on, move!” He kicked the boy down when he wasn't moving fast enough for his liking. ”Get up!” he commanded harshly.

Michael gritted his teeth, forced himself to forget the pain for a moment and act before Ricky would get angrier. He trembled all over, filling the bucket with warm water and staggered back to the bedroom where he knelt to clean his own vomit from the floor. It was humiliating to be in that vulnerable position. Naked, after those cruel things done to him, cleaning up the mess as his rapist and captor watched closely, a man whose behavior had changed with the snap of fingers.

”Good, you can take the bucket back in the bathroom and clean it,” the man said finally, calmer now. Michael obeyed, he saw no other option.

”Come here,” Ricky said when Michael returned.

The man pointed at the corner beside the bed. ”Kneel,” he ordered when Michael got to the spot. The boy swallowed his tears silently. The man poured a glass of water from the water can left on the table and then gave it to him. ”Drink,” he said and Michael brought the glass on his lips, relieved.

His throat was hoarse and tender from screaming, from the violence of being raped and then vomiting. When he had emptied the glass, Ricky took it forcefully back.

”W-why are you doing this?” Michael asked tearfully, bringing his gaze back up to the man who smiled at his question looking down on him, standing before him.

”Because I enjoy it,” the man replied bemusedly.

”M-my parents will find me...” Michael whispered trembling. ”T-they look for me...” At this the man laughed.

”Why should they care?” Ricky asked. ”They are happy to rid of you.” He smiled and roughly grasped the boy's chin, bringing his gaze up to him. ”Besides, I've covered your tracks well. Michael Wills has gone missing and you my dear are now my nephew.”

”You are sick!” Michael breathed and the man still continued to grin, stroking his face.

”It will be easier to just accept your fate, darling, you belong to me now.”

The man moved his hand on his neck and Michael trembled, feeling as the fingers stroked his skin. ”Your life is mine, it would be a shame if an accident should happen... But sometimes they do happen, sometimes, when I'm not being obeyed, when I'm being rebelled against, I lose my temper completely. You don't want to see that, sweet one, so listen carefully; do as I say, when I am pleased you will be rewarded, when you do poorly, you'll be punished. If you want to get out of this room, if you want to get to New York and get moving space you have to pass this test. I'll decide when you are ready. You can give up on your illusion that you'll ever get free. The easiest thing is for you to submit. I know lots of people. I have lots of contacts. If you disobey, if you try to run; someone will always get you and you'll be returned to me. There is no escape, Michael.”

Michael didn't know what to do or say, he felt so utterly helpless and missed his home. For a moment he gazed into the man's dark eyes, seeing only cruelty in them. The man was strong and experienced and Michael was too confused to know what was real anymore. Perhaps his parents didn't miss him? Doubt was gnawing his mind. Who did he really have at home, when the only person who had accepted and loved him completely, was dead. What did anything matter anymore? Might as well die?

Still, this thought scared him slightly, death scared him and there was still his stubborn will to live, providing a glimmer of hope that if he only held on, then sooner or later he could wake from this terrible dream.

”The test begins,” Ricky said as he brought his hand to the teenager's cheek, who had his gaze lowered on the floor, sorrowful brown eyes still filled with tears. ”Stay exactly where you are, on your knees until I come back. If you succeed you'll get something to eat, if you fail, then you don't. The cameras will record everything.”

Ricky grinned and lowered his hand as he met with the confused pleading gaze, the boy was about to say something when Ricky brought his hand up to signal silence. ”How badly do you want to eat?” he asked, laughing and then he walked to the door.

The door slammed behind the man. Michael felt dizzy, hunger knead his stomach and his knees were sore already. He squeezed his eyes closed, why was this happening to him? What had he done to deserve this? Conflicting thoughts were churning in his mind, the other half of him was agitating him to rebel, hating to submit to this for it wasn't right! His other half reminded him the he had been dealt the lesser hand in this, urging him to hang in there and follow the orders; the punishment would be harsher for rebelling and failing.

Michael gritted his teeth, breathing deeply and counting numbers in his head as he tried to calm down and make himself think as logically as possible; he shouldn't give in to panic, for it would only make him act foolishly.

He pondered on Ricky's promise to get to New York if he passed this test.

Calm down Michael, think, calmly now, he kept telling himself, forcing himself to forget the pain and horridness that he had already been through. He focused on breathing and thinking of his grandmother and her love. It gave him strength.

Even if I give up now, it can only be make-believe. I can't win against him in a physical battle. What does this monster want? He wants me to break, he wants to break me, make me obedient.

Michael concentrated, gritted his teeth and focused on looking at the situation as distantly as he could. I can let him do that or I can try to win by making him believe that he's won. It's the only way to survive. He has already taken my body but he can never have my mind!'

From this thought he felt like he was getting enormous strength and almost smiled. For a moment he felt an odd sense of tranquility settle inside of him. You can never have my mind, you can never have my soul, he repeated to himself over and over to ensure a firm base to his decision. I have to make up my mind to survive, the only other option is to die.

 

And when the man finally returned, Michael was still on the same spot where he had been commanded to remain, which made Ricky smile, satisfied with his own power.

”I am surprised,” he said, stepping closer. ”You succeeded, so you'll get your reward,” he added and lowered the tray down on the table. ”Get up,” he commanded. Michael gasped, he wasn't sure how long he would have endured that, his legs felt stiff and numb, refusing to cooperate. Grunting Michael leaned towards his arms, lowering his gaze.

”I-I can't” he whimpered, lowering his head even more and thinking. ”I'm sorry...” he added submissively, his voice trembled which was partly calculated.

The man was quiet and Michael didn't dare to look at him, he gambled for his own survival, gambled with the man who held better cards in his hands and the risk of losing was high. Without a word, Ricky stepped to him and lifted him up from the floor. The hold was not tender nor was it violent, it was firm and purposeful. The man guided him to sit in front of the table and pulled another chair for himself.

”Eat,” the voice commanded coldly and although Michael still didn't dare to look at the man's face, as he grasped his fork he knew he had succeeded in his first move and in his mind he congratulated himself telling himself to continue. He had to make up his mind to survive, no matter what. His mind and his heart could still be protected from the man's violent touch and Michael intended to hold on to them with all his strength.

**^^**^^**

A/N:

mk_km: Thank you for editing and reviewing! I'm glad you like this version. Michael is sweet and kind character, too bad he met Ricky, who is so heartless...

Lisa: yes, Michael is in big trouble, he just has to keep hoping and not give in completely. Thanks for reviewing :)

Fenny: yup, things really are getting intense... Thanks for the review!

Kirjava01: Yes, Michael's nightmare is only in its beginning. Thankfully, he's stronger mentally than it may seem, perhaps there is hope in the future? ;) Thank you for reviewing!